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Messages - Slurpee

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1
General Discussion / Re: All this crap going on in the world
« on: May 31, 2020, 08:29:01 PM »
I think the clock crew's number 1 priority going forward should be to get star wars to tweet black lives matter
mission accomplished, everyone

 

2
General Discussion / Re: All this crap going on in the world
« on: May 31, 2020, 07:43:22 PM »
the thing I keep coming back to is just what the fuck did the people in charge think was going to happen?

did they not see the escalation, did they not see the acceleration?
how did ANYBODY not see this coming?

the director of road trip saw this coming

it's a tired joke at this point

trevor moore wrote It's Time For Guillotines in 2013


things have not gotten better since then

there was a viral tumblr post that referred to the current era as the part in history books titled "factors leading to"
twitter called it "the cool zone"

michael moore called it at the end of his last movie, just like he called trump getting elected. he said I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know how much more people can take. it can't keep on like this. something is going to give

the militarization of the police? we've known about this. nothing changed
cops murder innocent people, riots in the streets, nothing changed
monthly mass shootings, nothing changed
jeffrey epstein was murdered by ruling class pedophiles in front of the entire world and nothing changed
the last four years have seen the largest protests in the history of the world. are we any better for it?
global warming? it's already too late, and we're just going to let it keep getting worse. people are going to die, and there is nothing you can do about it, the decision has been made for us
the last president oversaw the extrajudicial execution of american citizens overseas
tax cuts for the rich, billion dollar subsidies, and there are hoovertowns in american streets. the overpass between my friend's old apartment and the grocery store is a tent city of people displaced from their homes
both of the presidential candidates are senile racist rapists, and the current one is stuffing the courts with rapists
mcconnell is openly sabotaging the legislative process, and a president who campaigned on "draining the swamp" is only making it worse
widespread gerrymandering, myths of voter fraud, and active voter suppression spearheaded by an increasingly authoritarian right, and all the democrats did was line up to stomp out the only candidate who actually gave a fuck about us

40 million americans lost their jobs while 106 thousand and counting lost their lives, and all that got done was a handful of billionaires helped themselves to 430 billion dollars, senators pocketing money, vital health services being given to private companies at the people's expense to be auctioned off for profit, and we're supposed to be mad at a government on the other side of the world for the fact that the people in charge here didn't protect us
puerto rico was left without power for 11 months
entire cities left without clean drinking water- they STILL haven't replaced the lead lines in flint
the opioid crisis, neonazis marching on american cities, violent suppression of protestors at the dakota access pipeline, rapists in hollywood, california just annually catching on fire

I'm not saying it's right, but what the fuck did they think was going to happen?
people are fucking angry
the idea that the system could be changed was put to the test and the people in charge spat in our faces so they could keep lining their pockets
you lost your home, you lost your job, and they can fucking kill you in the street for using a bad twenty
a man who has killed before can kneel on your fucking neck on camera for minutes after you stop moving in front of a crowd of witnesses, and he gets to go home, and the coroner will say it's POSSIBLE that you had intoxicants in your system
how much more did they think people were going to put up with?
when is the last time anybody in power could be bothered to act like a public servant, like they were grateful for what they had, like they gave a damn about people?

china, oppressive communist china, didn't even deploy the military on the hong kong protestors after a YEAR. we didn't even wait 3 days.

this isn't about what set it off, this is otto von bismark's "damn foolish thing in the balkans"
there's pain behind this. mass, human pain. when it gets to the point that watching the city you call home burn is an acceptable sacrificd if it means there's a chance you won't have to go on living with it, something has to give

3
General Discussion / Re: All this crap going on in the world
« on: May 31, 2020, 05:18:40 PM »
"I hope my country doesn't collapse"
- me eating beef jerky and playing erotic clicker games

e:


I think the clock crew's number 1 priority going forward should be to get star wars to tweet black lives matter

4
General Discussion / Re: All this crap going on in the world
« on: May 31, 2020, 02:42:53 AM »
amy cooper is some rich lady with a dog
a black guy asked her to put her dog on a leash, and she was very upset by the idea that the law applies to her or that she should be responsible for her pet or have regard for the other people in the public park
she threatened to call the police, and the guy was like "good, they'll tell you to put the dog on a leash 😐" and she was like "no I'm going to tell them that a black man is threatening me!"
then she went full Get Out and put on an extremely believable "distressed" voice at the drop of a hat, and also she started choking the dog for no reason?

woke internet jumped on it because she was such an obvious villain they thought it was going to be the thing to be mad about this week, but then the cops were like "hold my beer"

5
General Discussion / Re: All this crap going on in the world
« on: May 31, 2020, 02:26:28 AM »
Who's Amy Cooper?



Amy Cooper is a character in Lakeview Valley.

As the protagonist arrives at Lakeview Valley on Reginald's bus, the trip is cut short when Reginald accidentally hits a naked Amy in the middle of the road. Shocked by the incident, Reginald is later relieved upon going to the Diner and seeing Amy alive and well. Amy works at the Diner throughout the week, leaving her house at 8am and finishing work at 10pm. While she is working at the Diner, the protagonist can purchase food from her. On Sunday, Amy has the day off for the Lake Day celebration, and has her own stall where she sells dreamcatchers in order to raise money for Rebecca.

6
General Discussion / Re: All this crap going on in the world
« on: May 31, 2020, 12:42:51 AM »
RIP Tim Curry
man don't fuck with me like that

7
Mrs. McGruder's House / Re: porky's
« on: May 30, 2020, 07:57:01 PM »

8
Mrs. McGruder's House / Re: porky's
« on: May 30, 2020, 04:40:28 AM »
my likeness has been appropriated by a nintendo ds launch title 16 years ago

Cholo Flounderman was the only DS game I owned for years
lol

9
Mrs. McGruder's House / Re: porky's
« on: May 28, 2020, 02:25:53 PM »
Youtube has been actively recommending it for about two weeks straight now.
oh weird

I thought I was getting it in my recommendations because
I watched like two vsauce videos, about things like the three prisoners problem,
DECIDED THEY WERE NOT FOR ME,
and have had to click "not interested" on like four thousand goddamned vsauce videos to get them out of my recommendations

so youtube decided I must just love puzzles and my recs have just been flooded with puzzles

but maybe this is one of those algorithm anomalies that just inexplicably gets recommend to everybody like "simon gotch buries enzo amore"

10
Mrs. McGruder's House / Re: porky's
« on: May 28, 2020, 10:06:04 AM »
weirdly thrilling:

it's a guy who's really good at sudoku solving a sudoku puzzle that looks ridiculous but he walks through the logic (quicker than most people could do it but slow enough to follow along) and it ends up being one of those impossibly elegant puzzle solutions that's so amazing I can't even imagine how a human being could have come up with it

when he started getting the 3's I literally said "no fucking way" out loud irl

11
Mrs. McGruder's House / Re: porky's
« on: May 28, 2020, 09:17:32 AM »
Wikipedia:List of US states in which the phrase "let's go surfing" makes any sense at all
I was trying to list these out without googling it and realized I pretty much picture the entire new england coast as one long grey concrete block like in grand theft auto 3
New Jersey isn't in New England? Everyone knows the New England coast consists only of coves and weather beaten rocks and lighthouses and beach houses and small marinas. All backdropped by golden autumn trees all year round. Except for the area around Boston maybe.

Goddamn, I randomly dropped a street view pin somewhere on the New England coast and:
https://www.google.com/maps/@43.1652327,-70.5914856,3a,75y,56.21h,86.84t/data=!3m8!1e1!3m6!1sAF1QipO1knd-HCtPewowWKYWxJ8xmhGL8RGhD9nMXoNx!2e10!3e11!6shttps:%2F%2Flh5.googleusercontent.com%2Fp%2FAF1QipO1knd-HCtPewowWKYWxJ8xmhGL8RGhD9nMXoNx%3Dw203-h100-k-no-pi0-ya333.61212-ro-0-fo100!7i8000!8i4000
I know in abstract that you're right but if you ask me to try to picture the east coast a week from now I am going to picture a grey concrete block

12
Mrs. McGruder's House / Re: porky's
« on: May 27, 2020, 11:36:44 PM »
Wikipedia:List of US states in which the phrase "let's go surfing" makes any sense at all
I was trying to list these out without googling it and realized I pretty much picture the entire new england coast as one long grey concrete block like in grand theft auto 3

13
that prediction was made outside the simulation. it doesn't exist in here. try to find the post if you don't believe me.
I thought you were gonna do something hilarious like remove the posts to fuck with me
*pins to whiteboard tracking early symptoms of the inevitable and hilarious "tony hawk loves to skate" meme*

14
my amazing "save the abortion clinic" flash idea
if I wait four years and five months longer to do this, I can accurately claim that it took 12 years to make

that'll show linklater

15
I think we're approaching a moment in time when tony hawk will be a post-ironic meme and his mere presence will be instant hilarity

I've been thinking about revisiting my amazing "save the abortion clinic" flash idea but smash mouth is pretty played out, maybe I'll replace them with skateboarding legend Tony Hawk

16
Mrs. McGruder's House / Re: porky's
« on: May 27, 2020, 02:17:21 AM »
https://twitter.com/Mastamario18/status/1259420482702471169

the "tony hawk loves to skate" meme that I predicted two years ago is gaining traction

17
Mrs. McGruder's House / Re: porky's
« on: May 24, 2020, 02:58:28 PM »
Hehe, what's that like? Do you just switch between them constantly? Your mind playing a game of squash with itself?

Are you on ritalin? One of my co-workers has adhd and stopped taking it for some reason. That was some shift. Even I was like "woah there buddy... chill..." at some point. Not that that accomplished anything.

I spent one summer working in a warehouse and it was a pretty demanding job physically. There was this one guy with adhd who worked a second shift at another company every day, he also had to bike 15 miles to and fro and between. Granted, he was also on coke. How much do these people need to eat? Do they just completely burn out at some point?
imagine you're a kid next to a bubble-blowing machine


this is you

and everybody acts like you're really, really, really supposed to focus on one bubble at a time
that's just the thing that people do, that's the world you live in
we pay attention to one bubble until we're done

and for some reason nobody else has any difficulty doing this
it feels so natural to you to just enjoy looking at the bubbles as they float, to blow on them, swat at them, pop them, but that's not what you're supposed to do and you don't want to be a bad kid
so you're trying really hard every single day to just watch one bubble, while dozens of bubbles wiggle and bob and dance and bounce and sway in your peripheral vision, and cross over each other and over the bubble you're supposed to be looking at. some of them fly right at you and gently pop on your face
some of the bubbles are just more interesting. they're tiny, or huge, or they have another bubble inside of them, or their surface is all wibbly wobbly, or the light is refracting off of them in an interesting way, or their shadows looking really cool as they pass over blades of grass
and inevitably, you lose track and start following the wrong bubble. every time.

so you get in trouble
and everybody acts like you're doing it on purpose
they ask you why you didn't follow the bubble you were supposed to, like it was a choice you made
and they're so sure of it, it makes you feel like it was a choice you made, and you ask yourself why you did it, and you can't answer, so you just feel like a bad person
they all act like it's really easy to do and you've just got some kind of shitty attitude or something that makes you not bother
like you must be too lazy to do what you're supposed to, or too crazy to respect that you're supposed to, or too stupid to understand the bubble you're watching
and you just never really get better at it
(but you get better at hiding the fact that you're bad at it, and that reeeaaally fucks you up)

you learn a lot about the bubbles you end up watching
you know a lot more things about a lot more bubbles than anyone you know
you see a lot of patterns in the bubbles that not everybody sees
and yeah, a mischievous part of you knows what happens when you swat at them or pop them. you're only human
you're pretty sure in a better world that might not be such a bad thing

but you live in a world where you really, really need to be able to sit still and focus on one bubble at a time
so eventually you give in and admit to the doctor that you need drugs to do this
he prescribes you adderall 20mg extended release
you're older now, and you do some research about the drug, as much as you can
you know that what you have is a "fake" disease, made up by the pharmaceutical companies to sell to bad parents to drug kids who are really just lazy, crazy, or stupid. you need to know that it's more than that. you're still not 100%. but you've wasted too much time already
you take the drug
with the adderall, and some lifestyle changes, with a lot of learning about how your brain works, and mindfulness of cognitive distortions, you have some healthier coping mechanisms. you know yourself well enough to develop habits that work. you can watch the single bubble the way you're supposed to now... most of the time
but the rest of the bubbles never leave your periphery. they still wiggle and bob and dance and bounce and sway, and cross over each other and over the bubble you're supposed to be looking at. some of them fly right at you and gently pop on your face. and a part of you is just always going to be faintly sad you're not supposed to appreciate that for what it is. but at least you're not in trouble anymore (most of the time)

18
Mrs. McGruder's House / Re: porky's
« on: May 24, 2020, 06:30:25 AM »
why do you have 500 tabs open?
I have adhd

19
Mrs. McGruder's House / Re: porky's
« on: May 24, 2020, 04:11:25 AM »
okay don't be afraid everybody, I have recovered my lost tabs

20
Mrs. McGruder's House / Re: porky's
« on: May 24, 2020, 03:40:24 AM »
safari for ipad has a button that "lets" you close all of your tabs with one touch
the browser can store 500 tabs, but the recently closed history only saves the last 200 closed tabs
on a related note, I just lost about 300 tabs

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