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Messages - Slurpee

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General Discussion / Re: Make the Clock Crew Great Again!!
« on: June 17, 2019, 02:05:43 PM »
I think we should paint our selves in tiger stripes and free all the animals at the Zoo.
we'll meet you there in an hour

they're making a turbo graphx-16 mini console
I want to be excited but
1) no Bonk's Adventure yet
2) no Bonk's Revenge yet
3) no Legendary Axe yet
4) no Blazing Lasers yet
5) konami is making it and konami is the worst


What happened to Nintendo where they not only listen to fans, now, but they listen to fans more than any reasonable person would expect
I was trying to find a webcomic to post in response to this but I think it's gone forever

it was from when the Wii came out and kept selling out at all the stores, and nintendo kept responding to questions about shortages with bizarre unhelpful nonsense answers

and the comic was, the girl from the comic talking to Reggie Fils-Aime, and she says something like "Hey, Reggie, you said you were going to address the Wii manufacturing shortages last December, but it's already July, and people still can't find them in stores! What gives?"
and Reggie responds, "There's no such thing as a Wii!"
and then the last panel is him and Iwata smiling at each other and winking

it was such a perfect, understated joke about Nintendo's incredibly strange behavior as a company, and specifically their apparent unwillingness to... allow people to buy their products? :confused:

they did the exact same thing with Amiibos and the NES/SNES Classics a few years later and I thought back to that comic and smiled

anyway, pretend I posted that comic instead of this post describing it, please, thank you.

how have y'all been

I'm back, motherfuckers, and I'm here to say,

a cool thing about playing cheap indie games from is that since almost nobody plays them there aren't walkthroughs or faqs so you can't ruin them for yourself even if you want to.*
(yeah that's right, not even an attempt at a segue)

I was playing Power Drill Massacre

this game has the scariest jumpscares I have ever seen. that probably sounds like damning with faint praise but, speaking as somebody who thinks 5 nights at freddy's is a stupid piece of shit, these are A+ jumpscares. the noise is SO LOUD and SO HORRIFYING, and they don't quite come out of nowhere, there's like a one-and-a-half second long ramp-up, which is exactly enough time for you to not quite be able to brace yourself, so the oh shit reaction just gets streeetched and it's so stressful and yeah. it's not immediately obvious what's happening, where it's coming from, why it's happening, what you can do to avoid it, etc., so the tension is super thick. there was a point where it literally felt like my heart was pumping one long painful beat as, on instinct, I contorted the awful tank controls to get my character in position to sprint down a blind hallway until the noise stopped
the game (and afaik all of the games by the same developer, a one-man studio called Puppet Combo) is a weird mash-up of ps1-inspired game design with vhs and 80's schlock aesthetics. somewhat anachronistic, but the grimy exploitation/horror theming couples really well with the unfriendly controls and uncanny presentation of early 3d. it feels hostile

anyway, given the aforementioned lack of resources, I found myself doing something I haven't done since I was a kid: hand-drawing my own maps =)

(by the time I started drawing the second map I'd found where I put my whiteout roller thingies after the move)
something very pure about the experience- counting paces, making corrections when I realize things line up differently than I thought, trepidation becoming curiosity becoming understanding becoming mastery

*Power Drill Massacre (and Puppet Combo's catalogue in generally) is actually on the lower end of obscurity, and there are walkthroughs and tips floating around out there, but they're vague and not very informative. I may seem to be in a position to help, but these maps are going to remain forever incomplete because I had a lucky run and finished the game while mapping out the basement, and also I am not going into the sugar tunnel it's scary as hell

that comander keen game looks like ass. I was completely willing to give it a shot before I watched the video (boy and his blob wii was so nice it permanently skewed my willingness to give quaint, twee remakes a chance to prove love or spark joy), but it's just another ass throwaway mobile game cash-in. if you're not going to treat an old franchise with love, why even bother? commander keen only has brand recognition for people who aren't going to want this. so weird!
kind of glad I'm the only person in the world who gives a shit about Monster Bash. knock on wood

if you think about it, we all already live in a pit like this, called global capitalism, and the button is called

which is why I chose option E

General Discussion / Re: A message for those hangers-on
« on: May 17, 2019, 11:31:05 AM »
We should have done a third one too, but none of us can count to three.
count to wha?

General Discussion / Re: A message for those hangers-on
« on: May 17, 2019, 12:24:57 AM »
I'm not up on any clock stuff anymore, and haven't really been paying attention for at least the past five years or so. What have I missed?
did you see Hhecf14rotpohiltswalc?

we haven't really done much since then, but good lord what a high note

General Discussion / Re: A message for those hangers-on
« on: May 17, 2019, 12:22:12 AM »
hello, my friend. we meet again!
it's been a while. where should we begin?
feels like forever

you need a fourth clock. hire me and i will startle every witch with my free will
that's a super old screenshot, I just found it on my hard drive and it made me laugh

who is your favorite clock crew
foam squirl

General Discussion / Re: Can we get this old theme back?
« on: May 09, 2019, 04:25:59 PM »
I never want to mod again

General Discussion / Re: Can we get this old theme back?
« on: May 08, 2019, 04:46:22 PM »
that's a good joke my incredible boy

General Discussion / Re: Can we get this old theme back?
« on: May 08, 2019, 04:14:14 PM »
I assumed I still had the assets for Exhaust because I haven't thrown anything away since 2005, but I wasn't sure, so I did a search
I found them. they're in a folder called "crap 3" with thousands of other files, most of them with names like Picture 8 and 1376326734_f2ce1d0c5b34d63.jpg

some of the other stuff in crap 3:
a file called index.html that contains nothing but the text "go the distance"
a 443mb folder of all the public domain music used during the production of ren & stimpy
a rom of teenage mutant ninja turtles tournament fighters
a folder called "crap 2"
a .pdf of an old-timey newspaper article about a boy with horns
a .textClipping file which reads, in its entirety:
Where'd mario get his medical license?

whatsamatta u
the following images:

in conclusion, I was the best admin ever

General Discussion / Re: Can we get this old theme back?
« on: May 08, 2019, 03:46:29 PM »
exhaust 2.0 was the best theme
you're welcome

General Discussion / Re: Fun Game: Guess the Movie by its Spoiler
« on: May 08, 2019, 10:05:02 AM »
Here's another one:

The donkey and the dragon have a bunch of babies.
One more to throw at ya guys.

They have a dance.
Here's another one.

That one dude dies.

aww man
I hope he looks exactly the same except they give him a hat

I googled "ken penders" to make sure I had the right guy

yep, everything seems to be in order

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