Author Topic: I'm going to prison again :(  (Read 2417 times)

Soup Clock

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I'm going to prison again :(
« on: August 04, 2016, 11:45:55 PM »
I've been good for 7 years and now they want to send my luscious white buttocks into the lions den.  Plz donate to me so I can eat Cheetos and Ramen.  Don't know where I'm going yet, but I'll be sure to post my location and if possible my prisoner number once I go to my upcoming hearings.  Then you can mail me stuff and I can write back cause I'll have nothing better to do.

And no you don't get what I did (yet), it could jeopardize my case.
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PirateClock

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Re: I'm going to prison again :(
« Reply #1 on: August 05, 2016, 07:24:55 AM »
is this like the time absinthe was framed for murder and kittyclock demanded we send her money to bail him out
_pirate_butchcavities (20:29:15): FUCK CLOCKS _pirate_

Yomuchan

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Re: I'm going to prison again :(
« Reply #2 on: August 05, 2016, 12:41:32 PM »
They must love your stage performances if they're asking for an encore. The life of a superstar ain't easy, ya know?

Soup Clock

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Re: I'm going to prison again :(
« Reply #3 on: August 05, 2016, 04:05:08 PM »
is this like the time absinthe was framed for murder and kittyclock demanded we send her money to bail him out

No, I care more about the letters than the money.  I'm putting $2000 on my books before I go in, so any donations would probably be futile as I don't plan on spending even that much.   However, if you can spend $.39 for a stamp to send a letter, I'll do the favor of spending $.39 for a stamp to return.  Is that how much stamps cost these days?
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Soup Clock

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Re: I'm going to prison again :(
« Reply #4 on: August 05, 2016, 04:07:58 PM »
They must love your stage performances if they're asking for an encore. The life of a superstar ain't easy, ya know?

They really do, apparently I'm the greatest act they've seen in years.  I just hope they don't put me in front of the same audience I spent the last couple weeks performing in front of.  I borrowed some money from a lot of people right before I got bailed out, if I go back there I'll probably get my fiddle plucked.
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RenegadeClock

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Re: I'm going to prison again :(
« Reply #5 on: August 05, 2016, 05:08:28 PM »
You got caught doing CC graffiti again?

BilliardBall10

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Re: I'm going to prison again :(
« Reply #6 on: August 05, 2016, 06:21:33 PM »
thats sad to know.

i hope that you will not go to jail.

either way, if you ever want me to send you some cool & pleasant letters, give me your mailbox adress.
i will write to you.

k -i raise dragons. here we go -click HERE- i mean click the eggs -and the dragons, until they become  adults.

miracle fruit

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Re: I'm going to prison again :(
« Reply #7 on: August 05, 2016, 07:09:13 PM »
haha what are the charges

and dont lie funnyman



Soup Clock

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Re: I'm going to prison again :(
« Reply #8 on: August 05, 2016, 07:56:15 PM »
You got caught doing CC graffiti again?

Damn bastards nailed me this time, can of spray paint in my hand and 75% of Tricky tagged on the DNC billboard.  But in all seriousness, I do plan on doing some CC doodling on the inside of my cell.  It'll be sure to create some confusion being surrounded by Latin Kings graffiti and other gang related material.  I'd post pictures of it, but you know, kinda hard to fit a cellphone or any kind of camera past my sphincter.  Though when I was being held the past few weeks, someone on my block did manage to get one in.
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Soup Clock

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Re: I'm going to prison again :(
« Reply #9 on: August 05, 2016, 08:02:55 PM »
thats sad to know.

i hope that you will not go to jail.

either way, if you ever want me to send you some cool & pleasant letters, give me your mailbox adress.
i will write to you.

It's probably inevitable, but the confusion about how much time I will serve is why I'm not discussing the case as advised by my attorney.  I'll be sure to post my PPN or find a way to have it posted on Facebook or something so letters can be sent.  I'll most likely be doing my time in one of the State Road correctional facilities as my case is in Philadelphia, so if I can find a way to get some people I barely know from the internet on my visitors list, I'll be sure to do so (I know there are a ton of Clocks in this area).  I'm likely looking at a decent amount of time on house arrest as well, but since I will need to obtain a Philadelphia address to do so, it looks like I'll be moving into the city.
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Soup Clock

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Re: I'm going to prison again :(
« Reply #10 on: August 05, 2016, 08:07:00 PM »
haha what are the charges

and dont lie funnyman

Indecent exposure and corruption of a minor.

I was flagging down a taxi by waving my slim-jim in circles, I didn't realize there was a 9 year old boy in the back seat of the cab.
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Yomuchan

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Re: I'm going to prison again :(
« Reply #11 on: August 06, 2016, 02:48:46 PM »
haha what are the charges

and dont lie funnyman

Indecent exposure and corruption of a minor.

I was flagging down a taxi by waving my slim-jim in circles, I didn't realize there was a 9 year old boy in the back seat of the cab.

Clearly, you've prevented that poor boy from being kidnapped and then they slap you with these bogus charges!

BilliardBall10

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Re: I'm going to prison again :(
« Reply #12 on: August 06, 2016, 05:28:03 PM »
@yomuchan: excellent posts, plz continue! :D

@soup: damn, thats bad. still, if you want a crazy pen-pal, you can PM me your letter adress.
i might write some (cool/crazy) letters.

k -i raise dragons. here we go -click HERE- i mean click the eggs -and the dragons, until they become  adults.

Soup Clock

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Re: I'm going to prison again :(
« Reply #13 on: August 07, 2016, 05:06:30 AM »
@yomuchan: excellent posts, plz continue! :D

@soup: damn, thats bad. still, if you want a crazy pen-pal, you can PM me your letter adress.
i might write some (cool/crazy) letters.

I don't know why I don't like your posts, but I hope you write me.
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Topcatyo

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Re: I'm going to prison again :(
« Reply #14 on: August 07, 2016, 05:08:39 PM »
I live in Philly, popst your info, I'll visit ya in the slammer
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RenegadeClock

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Re: I'm going to prison again :(
« Reply #15 on: August 07, 2016, 07:37:46 PM »
I live in Philly, popst your info, I'll visit ya in the slammer
Conjugal visit

Soup Clock

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Re: I'm going to prison again :(
« Reply #16 on: August 07, 2016, 10:30:40 PM »
I live in Philly, popst your info, I'll visit ya in the slammer

Sweeeeet, one visitor down.  Not sure where I'll be detained at yet, but assuming my sentence is what I am thinking it will be I'm fairly certain that I will be held in one of the several correctional facilities on State Road.  It's literally right on the river in one of the North East sections, I think Near Northeast, but it could be Far.  It's about a 10 minute walk from Cottman and State Road and Pennypack Creek runs right through it.

I was in House of Corrections when they held me and god that place was a dump.  No AC, just open windows and fans so I'd wake up every morning in a pool of my own sweat.  Interior looked EXACTLY like Eastern State, all the way down to the rusty iron doors and peeling paint.  My block was cool though, guy I shared my cell with was a cool dude and since I wasn't held long enough to receive any commissary he shared all of his food with me.  I was a good boy while I was there, except the block I was on only needed one guard to open (let prisoners out of their cells).  Sometimes he'd take walks to the end of the block which was pretty lengthy and he'd always leave his computer on.  Since I was likely the only person on the block computer literate, I changed his desktop background to Burt Reynolds giving the peace sign from Smokey and the Bandit.
« Last Edit: August 07, 2016, 10:38:41 PM by Soup Clock »
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AbsintheClock

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Re: I'm going to prison again :(
« Reply #17 on: August 08, 2016, 12:59:05 AM »
Lemme know where I can send shit. If you need an address or whatever just PM me. I'll try to write enough so you can make a papier mache shiv. Fuck the police.

School

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Re: I'm going to prison again :(
« Reply #18 on: August 08, 2016, 08:50:01 AM »
Sorry to hear that Soup!

Be safe bro.

Soup Clock

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Re: I'm going to prison again :(
« Reply #19 on: August 10, 2016, 08:08:43 PM »
I was just thinking... I have court on Monday (Clock Day) and maybe not then (as it's a preliminary hearing), but during my sentencing it might be funny for some people to show up at the courthouse with protest signs saying "Free Soup".  While the purpose of the signs would be to protest my incarceration, nobody would interpret that message.  The signs would likely serve more as a lure to the homeless.  As charitable people, should probably bring some actual soup in case.  I'm working on building up some finances and once I have the money I'd be happy to purchase a bunch of soup for someone to do this.

Just a thought though.
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