Author Topic: watched the first three episodes of the Mist and no monsters so far? spoilers...  (Read 875 times)

Slurpee

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unless you count bugs, which I don't, unless they're giant, which they're not, or they have human faces, which they haven't. something is killing people yeah but then not eating or even evicerating them and then I'm supposed to think the only two characters who took some initiative and put a couple dead bodies out as bait to see what they're dealing with are childish morons because ??? what are you doing do you know what story you're adapting? you obviously do since you cribbed plot threads not just from the book but the frank darabont movie as well. but oh the psycho mom who randomly murdered a guy because she noticed he had a gun and then started carrying the gun around with her is GREAT and acting VERY RATIONALLY and the old lady who pointlessly got another character killed because she wanted to go outside and then changed her mind because she saw him die and thought nothing of it is just fucking wise and mystic and I could give totally a shit about her after that.

 also they keep killing my favorite characters (dog, old guy, drunk) and there's like seven super obvious tired-assed subplots like oh the star football player is a rapist but everybody lets him get away with it and the town cop is a bully and the gay kid with unconventional worldview has no friends and gets picked on and the military guys are hiding something and the overprotective mom is acting on baggage from her own past and the old lady is "in tune with nature" and has unexplained supernatural connections to what's going on I HAVE HEARD ALL OF THESE SONGS BEFORE BITCH WHERE👏ARE👏THE👏MONSTERS. I don't want to hear that man is the real monster unless you're saying it with house-sized lobsterscorpions that bisect toby jones with one snip of their massive claws or tentacles with mouths and teeth you WEAK COWARDS.
LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE FOLLOWING:





AND YOU BRING ME THIS BEES IN THE EAR SHIT?

otoh I was doing daniel bryan YES!'s when they killed off mrs. carmody, a particularly irritating character from the book and film (here less ably played) much sooner than expected. also the lady's eulogy for her husband was actually pretty touching, and the bad bitch with the pill problem and the amnesiac soldier are actually cool characters but like why is he keeping his amnesia a secret?? it's that ensemble long form tv show shit of just everybody has to have one moronic trait that'll cause trouble down the line so they'll just do shit that makes no sense. also I'm sorry but when the fuck are we going to stop seeing tens of thousands of dollars being poured into a shitty CG effect that could've been accomplished with latex and corn syrup and looked a thousands times more believable on a fraction of the budget videodrome was only 35 fucking years ago

final thoughts: the movie is pretty good and I'm probably going to end up watching the rest of this season anyway damn my eyes
« Last Edit: June 25, 2017, 06:21:59 AM by Slurpee »

FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK

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thank you for saving me the trouble of actually watching this. I liked the movie and book and this sounds as disappointing as I thought it would be.

PhantomCatClock

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stopped reading at you-know-when

Dangerous_D

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not worth watching