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Dirty talk thread

Farted by Topcatyo, October 15, 2017, 03:31:39 PM

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Topcatyo

Give us your best dirty talk.
Obviously "tongue-punch my fart box" is a classic, but I want original ones.  Ones you made up.
So if I see somebody post a good one, and I google it and I find out you got it from somewhere, I'm gonna, like, try n get you banned or something less bad if I can't swing that.

I'll go first

I'm gonna fill a space helmet with my jizz, make you wear it, and then launch you into the vacuum of space

RobClock

I'm gonna fall deeply in love with you but due to a physical deformity every time we try to fuck it'll be excruciatingly painful for the two of us and when we're done I'm going to go home and contemplate suicide for the umpteenth time yeah I bet you'd like that you dirty slut

GreyClock

ive been pumping my super soaker all day and i have now built up enough pressure to shoot all over you and your water balloons and your... wet sponge?



Hey, speaking of tongue-punching fart boxes, do you think that somewhere in the world, at this very moment, there's a guy viciously tonguing a dog's butthole? I mean I'm sure it has happened at some point, but just how prevalent do you think it is? This notion is extremely upsetting and depressing to me. And I mean that sincerly, like if it's just this one really weird guy who did it a couple of times back in 1434 then it's not great or anything, but hopefully, someday, we can somehow repay that staggering debt that we as a species owe to existence. But if there's more than one guy doing this it's sufficient grounds for the immediate and complete extermination of the human race. Yeah, you like that don't you baby?

Clocktopus

Yeah you like that, you fucking retard?

RenegadeClock

I wanna fly my airplane through your World Trade Center towers and make it explode.

Slurpee

u ready to get nadwashed?

im gonna use u like yr dad's fleshlight

baby i will show u a dead bird and its stillness will seem so wrong 😔

PhantomCatClock

How dirty we talkin'? Like "the police can't help you now" dirty or "hay bb asl i wan fuck u in half" dirty

Topcatyo

Quote from: OctopusClock on October 16, 2017, 07:06:50 PM
Yeah you like that, you fucking retard?
Okay I have definitely heard that one before

Quote from: PhantomCatClock on October 17, 2017, 03:54:56 AM
How dirty we talkin'? Like "the police can't help you now" dirty or "hay bb asl i wan fuck u in half" dirty
both are acceptable

zl

#8
ya got bum in your pants, ya trouser packer

you unpowdered baby butt

your butt bum has ass problems

you bumquat

you leaky-butted pants browner

what's going on with your bum, seems not okay

you can tell me i'm a doctor

zl


zl

#10
how can i be friends with a butt like you

edit: you have a bad tush

zl

you've got butt up your legs

you've got butt down your back

pretty sure you've got a butt going somewhere in there

Slurpee

Quote from: Zombie Lincoln on October 17, 2017, 08:25:54 AM
you've got butt up your legs

you've got butt down your back

pretty sure you've got a butt going somewhere in there

VCRClock

that's just topsoil you got there, ma'am, but i think you'd be better off with peat
<Marlin Clock> This thread seems proof positive that divisiveness at any level is usually bad for the Clock Crew.
<PhantomCatClock> are we talking about the same clock crew

Topcatyo

Quote from: Zombie Lincoln on October 17, 2017, 08:25:54 AM
you've got butt up your legs

you've got butt down your back

pretty sure you've got a butt going somewhere in there
This right here.  That's hot

Topcatyo

Scuze me, madam, could I borrow a cup of sugar?

*receives sugar*

*dumps it down my pants*

My dick is covered in sugar now would you like to suck on it?

No?  Oh alright, it was worth a shot.

I do need another cup of sugar, though.

Kodiakclock

I'd like to get some barbecue sauce and work you like a rib.
Quote from: YoYoClock;1903849
KodiakClock - Super Butt