News:

If you need instructions on how to get through the hotels, check out the enclosed instruction book.

Main Menu

Little Caesar Guilt Trips (Hot n’ Ready!)

Farted by JambaClock, January 14, 2018, 12:14:28 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

JambaClock

Feel free to vent your "Little Caesar's Guilt Trips" here

PhantomCatClock

the last time i went to a little caesar's, the lobby room was like 5'x7' and they had a galaga machine and the guy glared at me when i put my quarter in. a few seconds later I understood why. It was the loudest arcade machine i'd played in my life, I intentionally died as fast as possible and bought a delicious cardboard pizza and left

Slurpee

the last time I went to little caesar's all of the walls appeared to be made of a grid of some kind of filthy porous plastic cubes or tiles. the zitty, unwashed clerk nearly jumped the counter at the sight of me, excitedly shouting "he's in here, he's in here! overturn the reptiles!" I was taken aback, of course, but before I had the chance to respond another employee followed closely behind him, breaking the door off of the counter by simply stomping through it as it weren't even there. this new employee loudly offered me some "free cheesy bread" extending what was unmistakably a small mound of capers cupped in her bare hands, atop what appeared to be motor oil.
as I tried to politely decline, yet more employees I had not noticed, including the initial clerk, began to loudly insist that it was my birthday and this meant that they could legally shout at me for coming to little caesar's. the employee with the capers somehow got around behind me and thrust her fingertips painfully into the small of my back, shouting that she was being very careful not to spill my delicious free cheesy bread while directing me via the painful jabbing of my spine toward the empty gum ball machines in the corner. as I turned my head to protest, the last thing I saw before being violently struck unconscious by a flying cash register thrown by parties unknown was a small, fat man with a mouth full of sharp black teeth wearing naught but a jester's hat who so happened to have caught my eye from his place deep in the kitchen, laughing cruelly as he overturned the second of three large turtles.
the next thing I remember I awoke past midnight atop the backstop of the local community center's baseball diamond, naked as the day I was born, my skin catching painfully on the rusted chain links as I gingerly climbed down. I found my clothes (save for my underpants and one sock, which had been replaced by visually similar but noticeably incorrect facsimiles) only yards away from where I awoke, arranged in the shape of a pentagram and, when I picked them up, revealing an insulting tableau of me losing a variety of shockingly libertine contests to the little caesar's mascot, carefully painted across each item of clothing in such a way that the picture was only complete when the clothing was folded and arranged in such a way as to crudely spell the word "jabroni". well, needless to say, I will not be going back.

TelephoneClock

Little Caesar's is awful, like it's cheap for a reason: it's shit. I hate Little Caesar's pizza. I used to think I liked their deep dish pizza, but really it's just that I haven't had a deep dish pizza in so long that I've forgotten what a quality deep dish pizza tastes like. Fuck you, Little Caesar's

Topcatyo

Just get a pan pizza and it's at least bearable poor person food. I spent a year living off of 7/11 food because I was poor and didn't have a job for a while and I would have preferred a Little Caesar's pizza over a 7/11 pizza.

There was a Little Caesar's further down the road but it was like, an extra 30 minute walk to get there and fuck that man.

RenegadeClock

Everytime a Little Ceasars commercial comes on my wife says we should try it because she doesn't believe it could be that bad (apparently she has never had Little Ceasars pizza, but I have and know better). I don't know if I should keep standing my ground and refuse to go, or if I should just go through with it and be like, "I told you so".

JambaClock

We never had a Little Caesars in my hometown


that didn't stop them from running ads on tv








pizza pizza

PhantomCatClock

okay, so everything's wrong with their pizza, but I'm curious about the thread title. What's wrong with Little Caesar's?

RenegadeClock


RobClock

I've never been to Little Caesars.




Damn yankees with your foreign brands

PhantomCatClock

you should definitely make the trip at any expense

JambaClock


TelephoneClock

I tried searching for any controversies surrounding Little Caesar's and the only thing of interest I could find is that they have a new headquarters in Detroit that will have pizza-shaped windows: http://www.crainsdetroit.com/article/20171218/news/648046/little-caesars-installs-pizza-shaped-glass-at-new-headquarters

PhantomCatClock


patriotclock

havent had it in like 20 years, but 90s jeff lived for crazy bread

JambaClock

Quote from: PatriotClock on January 17, 2018, 08:06:45 PM
havent had it in like 20 years, but 90s jeff lived for crazy bread

I thought we were talking about little caesar guilt trip stories

PhantomCatClock

little caesar's serves crazy bread



what is it with you and railroading the dumbest threads
let people talk

i will bite you

JambaClock


Kodiakclock

i live close enough to detroit that I enjoy little ceasers, especially their cheese pizza fuck all of ya
Quote from: YoYoClock;1903849
KodiakClock - Super Butt

PhantomCatClock

is that because the little caesar's is better there or, like most people from detroit, you have no idea what pizza is so you call something else pizza