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100 reasons not to visit Hell

Farted by VCRClock, August 07, 2007, 06:44:05 PM

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VCRClock

1. Meals in Hell come from a menu passed around to all inhabitants and visitors. This menu consists of extremely delicious dishes; however, they are always out of everything on the menu. Instead, you must eat only Combos for all eternity.


Ewww.
<Marlin Clock> This thread seems proof positive that divisiveness at any level is usually bad for the Clock Crew.
<PhantomCatClock> are we talking about the same clock crew

VCRClock

2. Hell is an infinitely expansive desert, in which there is a sole 7-11 that you have an infinitely small chance of finding. That 7-11 is Heaven.
<Marlin Clock> This thread seems proof positive that divisiveness at any level is usually bad for the Clock Crew.
<PhantomCatClock> are we talking about the same clock crew

Wind-up Clock

3. The only candy available in hell are heart candies and necco wafers dipped in laxative.

4. all toilets are pay-per-minute.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

BobberClock

I like combos

Does that mean I am going to die :(

VCRClock

5. There's radio in Hell, but it only plays the most annoying pop songs ever written.

Quote from: BobberClock;938060I like combos

Does that mean I am going to die :(

No, it means that if you go to Hell, they're going to starve you!
<Marlin Clock> This thread seems proof positive that divisiveness at any level is usually bad for the Clock Crew.
<PhantomCatClock> are we talking about the same clock crew

VCRClock

Quote from: BobberClock;938060I like combos

Does that mean I am going to die :(

No, it means that if you go to Hell, they're going to starve you!
<Marlin Clock> This thread seems proof positive that divisiveness at any level is usually bad for the Clock Crew.
<PhantomCatClock> are we talking about the same clock crew

BoomStick Clock

6 in hell, you get to pick the background music to your endless torments but the selection is comprised solely of bad 1950's commercial jingles.

AlbinoClock

7. In hell, every night you meet a beautiful, perfect woman. It isn't until after she ties you to the bed that you notice she's really a bearded old Russian with a three foot long cock.
 

PepperClock


AlbinoClock

9. The food in hell is mediocre.

VCRClock

Quote from: Pepper Clock;9380658.there are no hats allowed.

FUCK

Quote from: AlbinoClock;9380669. The food in hell is mediocre.

DOUBLE FUCK
<Marlin Clock> This thread seems proof positive that divisiveness at any level is usually bad for the Clock Crew.
<PhantomCatClock> are we talking about the same clock crew

Thor

10. The only thing on TV is clock crew flashes
Quote from: MafiaMettaurWhat the hell is with that shit you posted? You know what, I'm joining the Locks, just to stop stuff like you!
Quote from: polyhedronclockYou're a fucking clock, what else do you have?
To be fair, you don't have anything. Clocks are just machines that tick.

CubeMelonClock



VCRClock

12. The in-flight movie sucks. It's some Japanese documentary about polar bears.
<Marlin Clock> This thread seems proof positive that divisiveness at any level is usually bad for the Clock Crew.
<PhantomCatClock> are we talking about the same clock crew

BoomStick Clock

13 in hell, the proper greeting is to be fist fucked and your ass is always clenched shut.

AlbinoClock

14. There are ads for heaven everywhere.

BoomStick Clock

15 in hell clockfriends run the clockification polls.

Wind-up Clock

16. The only internet is a -5kb modem.

17. When your computer is infected with a virus, you feel the effects too.

18. The only browser available is AOL
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

PecanClock

19. Everywhere you can sit down has an erect dick poking out.

BinaryClock

20. In hell, everyday you wake up to find that you forgot to do laundry again, and the only things you have to wear are the same things you wore for the last 6589 days you were there.
BinaryClock, if you wanna play uno type !unohelp to see how to