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Brief reviews of movies you saw recently

Farted by StrangeClock, October 13, 2005, 05:34:38 PM

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StrangeClock

I guess Leek's thread about this disappeared?

Four Brothers
Alright, not bad, not great, probably what you can expect from a movie that stars Marky Mark Wahlberg. Fun was had, but I think I annoyed some theatre goers when I burst out laughing during the fistfight in the end. I mean, Jesus. I thought protagonists stopped dropping their guns to engage in fisticuffs with big bosses after the 80s, and Jean-Claude Van Damme.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

Losperman

Serenity

I never even knew about the TV show this was based on when I saw the preview of it, but I leaned over to my wife and said "That looks like a some shitty TV series they made into a movie." And it turned out it is based on a cancelled TV series. I won't say shitty because I hear the Firefly fans are known to hunt down and ass rape anyone who dares defy the greatness of their show. But the movie itself was, overall, pretty unmemorable. For a scifi movie, it was alright. If it were a made-for-TV movie it would have been great. But for a Hollywood release? It wasn't that good. There's too much they crammed in there, and the previews (which make the movie out to be about this girl who has some cosmic power that can destroy the universe) are misleading. There had the occasional funny line and the space battle sequence was pretty cool, but they should have just finished filming the episodes for a DVD release instead of messing the story up in movie form.
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:capn: BUSTAS! :capn:

LeekClock

The Girl Next Door (2004)

3.5/5

It may take a lot from other movies, but the result is a solid "teen" movie lacking the features that make "teen" movies suck.  It's intelligent, charming, and overall very entertaining. It has some great characters (great comic acting and timing) and scenarios. It made me laugh. It was a pretty straight-forward story, but it worked well.

I'd say it's main downfall is the choice in music.. Music really adds a lot to a movie, and in this case most of the songs seem too prominent and unfitting to their respective scenes. They're really well known songs and they stick out like a sore thumb, and lower the tone of the movie.. turn it into something mainstreamy and cheap. But if you look past this poor taste in music, the film is still solid.

Overall though, one of the better "teen" flicks. Worth a watch indeed! Almost worthy of a 4 (if it were more original and had better music.. but we can excuse these flaws).

chocolatechipclock

Jerry Maguire:  8/10

Cuba Gooding Jr. and Tom Cruise are good in this movie (like always?).  The story drags on kind of slow for a while, but the end makes up for it I guess.  It had a strong start, strong finish, but the rest was mediocre.  However, it was pretty decent.

Almost Famous: 9/10


This is probably Cameron Crow's best film.  It's about a teenage rock journalist in the '70s, who is hired by Rolling Stone Magazine to get a story on the band Stillwater.  There is some great acting, and a very intense seen on a plane.  Good love story, etc.

Alien: 9.5/10

A superb thriller/horror movie that really has a great plot.  It is about a commercial ship (in space) which receives a signal from a planet, and by contract, they are required to investigate it.  While down there, one of the crew members is attacked by an alien which just hatched.  They bring him back to the ship, and the alien is attached to his face.  From there, it really is an awesome movie, with some great killings.  If you want to see a similar movie, watch John Carpenter's The Thing (which I personally believe is slightly better than Alien).  Anyway, awesome movie.

Magnolia: 8.5/10

First of all, let me say this movie is VERY LONG.  I thought it was going to end about an hour before it actually ended.  It is a little over 3 hours.  The story is very confusing, and I won't even bother going on about it.  Let me just say that Cruise and William Macy (Fargo) do very well.  Let me warn you though, this movie is very weird, especially the end.  However, some things in the movie are to be taken metaphorically, not literally, in the movie, like a Lynch film.  However, it is a pretty entertaining drama that has its moments.  Good film.

Monster: 7/10

Out of these movies, this is definently the most disturbing film.  It is about a suicidal hooker who meets a young lesbian in a gay bar.   She makes friends with the lesbian, and eventually becomes one herself.  However, this doesn't stop her from being a whore.  However, one day she is brutally beaten and raped by one of her clients, and she takes his gun and kills him.  After this incident, she truly hates all men.  She starts killing every one of her clients, even if they never have sex with her.  Anyway, there's some good acting, but it's not that great of a film.  By the way, a similar, but much better movie is Mysterious Skin, which I give a 10/10 to.  I don't feel like reviewing it right now.  I may later, but just believe me, it is an excellent, and disturbing movie.

Oldboy: 10/10!

This is one of the best revenge stories ever told.  Oh yeah, and it's a foreign film.  It is about a man named Dae-su Oh who is kidnapped and held for fifteen years.  He is never told why he was kidnapped while he was in captivity.  When he was released, he took it upon himself to get revenge on whoever did this to him.  In the process of finding out his who and where his kidnapper was, he finds out more about himself, and why he was kidnapped.  The ending is shocking and sickening, and this film showcasing some of the finest acting ever.  You MUST see this fim.  It is very, very good.  If you don't think a movie in subtitles can be good, you're terribly mistaken.

Biblo

Crash
Pretty good. I was very impressed by how impartial the film was. The opinions were clearly those of the characters and even thought they were all racist in some way or another, they all had redeeming qualities as well.

Dr. Watson

Waiting

Good film for fans of the cult-film genre that goes along with Clerks, Mallrats, and anything in that vein. A great cast of people and a whole slew of jokes, from classy snapbacks, penis showing jokes, and things you know you have done or one of your friends have done constantly. It is a whole mess of lowbrow jokes as well, so don't go expecting good christian values jokes, or seeing Chandler from friends in a potato costume, rather you see the nutsack of Luis Guzman in one scene and a Jungle soon after...

OH SNAP


DigitalClock

Corpse Bride
9/10

excellent acting and extraordinary animation. tim burton and johnny depp have done it again. would've gotten a perfect 10 but i felt it was a little too short (without credits its about an hour and ten minutes) and a bit predictible.

Shaun of the Dead
9.5/10

brilliant! not since airplane have i seen a better spoof. unlike most spoofs, shaun of the dead takes a different approach with the story by including another sub-story unrelated with the original movie. my favorite part of the movie is the transitions from one scene to another.

SilverCherryClock

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
4/5

Short summary of the movie: Better than two, not as good as one. This is probably enough for most people, but I'll go into more detail.
Long Summary: Yes, the movie was a little on the short side. Something like an hour and 40 minutes. However, this movie restored my faith in the Terminator series, which was toppled by the sub-par T2.
Don't get me wrong, T2 is pretty good. But it's hard to think of the terminator as a hero after being the enemy in the first film. This movie was necessary, however, to make the terminator in T3 a more acceptable character.
Personally, I think being a mindless robot is Arnold Shwarzeneger's true calling (he's not too good of an actor as anything else). He plays the part suprisingly well. Aside from him, the movie does have some good acting.
I guess what really got me was the FX. The story is good, I always enjoyed the story of the terminator series. But the Special effects in this movie were incredible. From the Tx's chassis to the atomic explosions, this is some of the best FX work I have ever seen (beats the hell out of any of the Matrix films).
To sum it all up, I would suggest that anyone who is or is not a fan of the Terminator series sees this movie. But go watch the first two before you do, of course.

VanillaPepsiClock

Quote from: SilverCherryClockTerminator 3: Rise of the Machines
 Better than two, not as good as one.
Um, what?

Masquatto

Yeah, seriously, T2 was awesome. T3 and T1 were good, but T2 beat them both.
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StrangeClock

Wow, I totally disagree with that review ;) And I thought Arnold was totally unconvincing in his robotic performance, as opposed to the two other movies.

Session 9
I remember someone had a gif in their signature a while back of David Caruso saying fuck you, and apparently it came from this movie. And while Caruso is cool, this movie is not. It commits the worst crime a movie can make - it's boring as hell. There's an almost interesting premise of a haunted madhouse, but it quickly becomes bad, worse, uninspired. Jesus, I really hate this movie, even though I probably won't remember anything about it next week. Worst part was probably the "satanic ritual syndrome" speech. Rarely seen such terrible writing and acting.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

KefkaClock

The Warriors:  4/5

In a city where gangs outnumber cops 3 to 1, a small gang is blamed for amurder they didnt commit. They are about 20 miles from their turf, their safety. Can they make it? Or are they fucked? This was an awesome movie. The fight scenes were cool. The only issue was it was short.I would have loved to see more gang on gang action (*snicker*) I dont see how the game would work, I hope they dont blow it. See this


Forrest Gump: 5/5

A retard copes with his disabilities, and does alot more than any other man can do in a life time. This move was very heartwarming. Forget about blood spatter from the shitty horror movies that are out, this had some vietnam action. Tom Hanks did an excellent job in this movie. another see it....


More in the morning...

camoclock is a great man

Shaun of the dead
not a nr.1 movie,but still a good 1


i give it 9 smileys out of ten  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)

i lol'd

Back to Gaya

piece of crap DO NOT WATCH

1 angry smiley :mad:


'nuff said
poop

StrangeClock

Threshold
I've really been scraping the bottom of the barrel lately, I guess it's just not a great time for movies. In its defense, I think it was a made-for-TV movie, so that explains the low budget effects, use of camera angles to avoid needing special effect shots, bad writing, use of stock footage of a space shuttle launching and landing, etc. Pretty much a lukewarm X-Files episode. It's about alien moths incubating in people and turning them into people with pincers in their sides that can apparently come in and out without damaging your clothes. I'd've considered it a complete waste if Jamie Luner's breasts weren't so luscious.

And speaking of movies you should avoid:

The Untold (also known as Sasquatch)
Oh my God. To sum it up in one sentence: someone in a very, very, very unconvincing Bigfoot suit steals the movie's plot device. A plane containing a millionaire's daughter and a machine that can instantly categorize genetic material crashes in the wilderness, so the millionaire organizes a search party to get it. This search party has all the movie basics: the heroic honest guy, the evil trigger-happy guy who you know will end up going crazy and try to kill the others, the slutty chick who takes a bath in a convenient warm spring, etcetera. In the movie's climax it turns out the crashing plane accidentally killed Bigfoot's wife and child, we get a full frontal shot of Biggy that someone really should've edited out on account of it looking ridiculous, and it turns out Bigfoot stole the genetic device because he miraculously knew that it would help people find him and hunt him down. Yes. The millionaire ends up destroying the machine to make peace with... Jesus. Just don't rent it.

Wendigo
This was barely a movie at all, because it didn't really have a plot. A couple and their son move in to a small town where they get in trouble with a local hunting jerk. The kid finds out about the Wendigo legend from an old indian in a store who promptly vanishes, dad gets killed during a sleighride, and eventually the Wendigo comes to kill the jerk. Or something. Avoid at all costs.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

Dr. Watson

Alone in the Dark

Uwe Boll, the dreaded director who emotionlessly slaughters every good known game with laughter and delight does it again with this movie. The original Alone in the dark was about a mansion that was up for grabs in the woods and had 2 guests that were to visit, the first was detective edward Carnby, who was to look for reasons what happened to the original owner, if it was murder or suicide, and Aline or Alice was related to the owner. So once you get inside and scope the attic, the house traps you in and thus youre fucked and have to find out how to leave the house and the curse it has placed on you....

NOPE

the movie is about a detective of the supernatural who is out to find out what these artifacts do, and open an underworld full of shadow creatures that kill off everyone, and end the world...

You'd have more fun watching, your pet dog/cat/bird/whatever take a shit...

OH SNAP


Losperman

Quote from: StrangeClockWendigoAvoid at all costs.

I agree with this 100%. There's rarely a movie that comes along and makes me think I wasted my time and/or money, but this was one of them. I was looking for a new horror movie and saw this one for $7. A very wasted $7 that I could have bought thumb tacks to decorate my face with.
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:capn: BUSTAS! :capn:


Losperman

Dreamer

7/10 - It was pretty good. I'm not a huge fan of the cheesy Disney movies, though, so that may have hampered my opinion a bit. Great acting across the board, which brought it a lot farther in my eyes. The story was of a traditional breed (especially for Disney) so that took off a few points. But yeah, overall pretty good.
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:capn: BUSTAS! :capn:

chocolatechipclock

Ed Wood: 8/10

This is a black and white Tim Burton movie which revolves around the unsuccessful career of Ed Wood (Johnny Depp).  Ed makes "B" sci-fi movies, and he always has trouble with funding.  However, oppourtunities spring up when he meets Dracula star Bela Lugosi (Martin Landau), who is depressed and down on his luck.  He is able to get funding from a cheap production company with the star and by telling the manager a secret he's been hiding for his whole life.   Meanwhile, this secret causes fued between Ed and his girlfriend (Sarah Jessica Parker).  Overall, it was a unique story with great acting from Depp and Landau.

LeekClock

Mean Creek - 4/5

Great acting, realistic/nostalgic/clever writing, nice cinematography! Quality film from a new director!


Batman Begins 4/5

Another great film! Much more logical and serious than the other batman flicks. Very cool direction, with some amazing visuals. For those of you that have seen it, I love the part where Batman confronts Scarecrow and Scarecrow starts tripping. Really cool scene.

What was I saying again? Oh yeah. Really clever take on the original flicks. I love all the little details, how everything ties up and makes sense. I also love the joker tie-in at the end.

Great casting for Batman, too. He's really good. And Liam Neeson does his "qui gon jin" role pretty well.  Superb!