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Farted by Losperman, November 01, 2005, 01:26:35 AM

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FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK

Quote from: RobClock on November 19, 2019, 10:39:21 AM
I haven't paid much mind to Pokemon in a number of years but everyone has been chomping at the bit about how bad Sword and Shield look. A buddy of mine from Highschool just started a lets play of Sword so I'm going to watch that to indulge morbid curiosity since there was no chance of me ever buying it to begin with.

it's basically a 3ds game they ported 3/4 of the way through and charged 20 extra dollars for. they made all these big statements leading up to the game. it's gonna be the best pokemon ever and a celebration of the concept, they're cutting over half the pokedex to add more animations and more polish. then you've got the expectations set by other nintendo franchises pushing the envelope with their switch iterations. none of this is achieved, and every hour after it came out new shit was being discovered about how lazy it is. the most recent thing I saw was a modder modding in one of the cut pokemon in less than ten minutes, and most of the time was spent waiting for copypastes to resolve. I don't even care about the dex cut I just love all the lies and exaggerations over a game that barely covers the bare minimum, and the insane level of cultish brand loyalty from people defending it as the best pokemon ever. when did brands becomes borderline religions?

in reality though it's not irredeemable garbage like fallout 76 or something. if you were fine with sun and moon and you want a pokemon adventure to run through, you'll be satisfied with this. also galar weezing is the most dapper fartball ever which almost justifies all of this. but god damn am I enjoying the "pregame" so to speak.

Quote from: RobClock on November 19, 2019, 10:39:21 AM

12 years and counting

It's called Half Life: Alyx so spin-off, obviously, the question then becomes whether it will be a prequel/intermediary interlude to events of previous games, perhaps an exploration of her dealings with the Gman when he "plucked" her from Black Mesa, or a continuation following the events of HL2:E2 (no chance)

I'm guessing a prequel but it could technically follow the episode 3 plotline. but if it's a prequel I dont know what they'll do about eli's voice actor dying. and I was being serious about people shitting on this if it isn't legendary, I think that's gonna be an issue. it could very well be the best shit ever or just okay, but I don't think it's gonna be bad at least. if the original writer is back it's going to at least be worth it for the story. hopefully he has the time, apparently he's been busy helping his niece's struggling vegan smoothie shop.

but most pressingly, if you're playing a first person game as alyx vance, how are you going to stare at her ass? and even besides that, while her ass was cutting edge back when half life 2 came out, we're in a post-2B industry now. ass technology has evolved in valve's absence. I think one of the soul caliber games has individual asscheek physics. solid snake's brawl ass was so great and powerful that it had to be sealed away for smash ultimate's release. hows is valve going to compete?





also there's rumors the new star wars kills off every original trilogy character and rey defeats palpatine, who's original defeat turns out to not have mattered. I hope they don't fix that in editing I want to see the reactions to this it's gonna be amazing.

PhantomCatClock

your post just summed up my degeneracy year tbh it's been fun to sit back and watch not media, but the metamedia

PhantomCatClock

speaking of degenerates, my WoW friends didn't laugh at this when I said it whip-crack instant during conversation so now I have to say it here awkwardly and explain it first


so in warcraft comma world of, gnomes are very small. there is a new race coming out for the game, mechagnomes. Robot gnomes, as it were. I already have a racial slur for them, being on the other team: short circuit

RobClock

I saw the mechagnomes and they look nothing like the WOTLK mechagnomes which begs the question; why


Good pun tho bro props

Slurpee

Quote from: FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK on November 19, 2019, 03:46:42 PM
also galar weezing is the most dapper fartball ever which almost justifies all of this.
bro you really undersold this by not including a picture

PhantomCatClock

Quote from: RobClock on November 19, 2019, 04:59:14 PM
I saw the mechagnomes and they look nothing like the WOTLK mechagnomes which begs the question; why

well y'see those were titanic constructs whereas these are from the fabled mechagon which are fleshy, but extra intelligent, gnomes and they've taken to augmenting their bodies with machines however the king has gone off the deep end and is forcibly converting his people to full machines so the guys joining the alliance are actually a resistance who just want open source arms and legs and keep improving themselves instead of being mindless slaves to daddykins (the leader of the resistance is the prince) so not actually titan constructs, just gnomes of legend that turned out to be real

RobClock

Quote from: PhantomCatClock on November 19, 2019, 07:07:02 PM
Quote from: RobClock on November 19, 2019, 04:59:14 PM
I saw the mechagnomes and they look nothing like the WOTLK mechagnomes which begs the question; why

well y'see those were titanic constructs whereas these are from the fabled mechagon which are fleshy, but extra intelligent, gnomes and they've taken to augmenting their bodies with machines however the king has gone off the deep end and is forcibly converting his people to full machines so the guys joining the alliance are actually a resistance who just want open source arms and legs and keep improving themselves instead of being mindless slaves to daddykins (the leader of the resistance is the prince) so not actually titan constructs, just gnomes of legend that turned out to be real

Wow what a cool lore addition that is not a total ass pull bullshit retcon

PhantomCatClock

#112087
It's a side story to the one you're thinking ofâ€"the argument for the cUrSe Of FlEsH first being mentioned in released information pre 1.0 is probably correct, but the odd mention of a fantasy mechagon is that old, too, and was in a lot of Hearthstone extra-curricular flavor in 2014 and this doesn't contradict any of that PLUS the entire titans story was wrapped up neatly last expansion with





total ass pull bullshit retcons


they didn't care about us not being robots, though (we play wow for the story, here, folks)








highly recommend watching that cutscene if you hate galakrond because sargeras fucks his skeleton up


edit: mechagon being an island that's so close you can swim to it might count as a fuckup but we can chalk that up to gnomes secretly being pretty stupid

RobClock

To be fair Kul'Tiras had been chilling a stone's throw from the coast of Southshore for 14 years, incommunicado and unacknowledged, to the point where they had to move it way the fuck out into the middle of the ocean, and then move the Broken Isles even further out, just to have it make some kind of sense.

and is it just me or is the malestrom getting exponentially smaller?


also Eastern Kingdoms




Also Kalimdor







I mean even fucking Northrend and Pandaria WOULD IT BE THAT HARD TO PUT SOME SHIT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GLOBE?

GreyClock

Quote from: RobClock on November 20, 2019, 12:10:39 PM
To be fair Kul'Tiras had been chilling a stone's throw from the coast of Southshore for 14 years, incommunicado and unacknowledged, to the point where they had to move it way the fuck out into the middle of the ocean, and then move the Broken Isles even further out, just to have it make some kind of sense.

and is it just me or is the malestrom getting exponentially smaller?


also Eastern Kingdoms




Also Kalimdor







I mean even fucking Northrend and Pandaria WOULD IT BE THAT HARD TO PUT SOME SHIT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GLOBE?
I think it's the whole enchilada, see this texture of Azeroth seen from the Legion Space Thingâ,,¢. Although yeah, Kul'Tiras, Broken Isles &c are not even on there. Then again, they're pretty much making it up as they go along, so it's to be expected. (Also, how much time would it take to paint that stuff in and update the file? I mean really?)

Man, World of Warcraft. It's like the closest thing we have to a really great, immersive and expansive video game world. You're like WOW! (punny!) I really want to play and do all sorts of weird things in different corners of that world. And then you fork over twelve bucks or whatever and you play for a while and you just about die of boredom. Just like you did the previous four times you tried. It doesn't help that my computer has a cyber aneurysm everytime it has to load like Zuldazar or one of the newer epic battlegrounds. What's that? You mounted? Please feel free to move around your invisible character on the minimap as the camera stays stationary for five minutes. My terrible hardware aside. The menial tasks you have to perform constantly to accomplish anything. God.

For the past month I've been playing Classic. I got to level 33. It runs way smoother (like I can actually alt-tab!?!). On the one hand you don't feel so rushed in general because of the slower pace of travel and levelling. On the other you want to kill yourself after running all the way to Desolace in the hopes of hours of fun quests, only to find four really shitty ones (maybe I should plan better, but whatever). There's no constant stream of shit in the chat and people are actually helpful and nice when it comes to questing and dungeons (even if they just feel obliged to out of a sense of nostalgia, I can't tell). At the same time you're constantly reminded of that giant, missing chunk of content you'll never be able to access.

Slurpee

sometimes I write a post and don't post it, but I keep it in my notes, if it's not quite saying what I want it to say, or if I just figure it's not going to be worth the hassle of dealing with replies
I like to go back later and look at the stuff that was getting the goat of my younger self, see if I still feel strongly about it

I don't know what this was going to be in response to or why I didn't post it, but it rules:
Quoteyou have no idea

dig deep enough around here, you'll start to find a lot of things slightly off. places where cracks have been sealed up, and the logic is all wrong. echoes and inprints, holes where something should be but isn't

don't get me wrong, it's nothing sinister
some tales just become harder to tell as the world they came from fades from memory
a lot changes in 15 years

when the corners of a map are all filled in, places once imagined get sealed up between the borders and disappearâ€" but that doesn't mean they were never there
we were kids. mischievous, irreverent, iconoclastic, a little too smart for our own good, with a l-o-o-o-t of time on our hands, and we spent our time here building legends for each other
and we all loved this place, but had very different and sometimes very peculiar ideas about what it was and what it should be
it went to some strange places

if the sealed catacombs beneath this old lodge seem too deep for a silly little group of amateur cartoonists with an offbeat sense of humor,
if what's down there seems interesting, secretive, complicated, conspiratorial, mystical even,
that's because they are and it is

when you joined the clock crew, you stumbled upon something like a society of grown-up lost boys built on top of the nuked-out remains of willy wonka's chocolate factory

mistakes were made
there are ghosts here

we're old, and, if we're being honest, a little embarrassed to have ever cared so deeply about something that will never be again
the catacombs have been sealed, not by anyone's hand, but by the relentless passing of time, and when those of us who were there at last shuffle off this mortal coil, the memories too shall pass from the earth
👻👻👻

RobClock

Quote from: Slurpee on November 20, 2019, 06:57:12 PM
sometimes I write a post and don't post it, but I keep it in my notes, if it's not quite saying what I want it to say, or if I just figure it's not going to be worth the hassle of dealing with replies
I like to go back later and look at the stuff that was getting the goat of my younger self, see if I still feel strongly about it

I don't know what this was going to be in response to or why I didn't post it, but it rules:
Quoteyou have no idea

dig deep enough around here, you'll start to find a lot of things slightly off. places where cracks have been sealed up, and the logic is all wrong. echoes and inprints, holes where something should be but isn't

don't get me wrong, it's nothing sinister
some tales just become harder to tell as the world they came from fades from memory
a lot changes in 15 years

when the corners of a map are all filled in, places once imagined get sealed up between the borders and disappearâ€" but that doesn't mean they were never there
we were kids. mischievous, irreverent, iconoclastic, a little too smart for our own good, with a l-o-o-o-t of time on our hands, and we spent our time here building legends for each other
and we all loved this place, but had very different and sometimes very peculiar ideas about what it was and what it should be
it went to some strange places

if the sealed catacombs beneath this old lodge seem too deep for a silly little group of amateur cartoonists with an offbeat sense of humor,
if what's down there seems interesting, secretive, complicated, conspiratorial, mystical even,
that's because they are and it is

when you joined the clock crew, you stumbled upon something like a society of grown-up lost boys built on top of the nuked-out remains of willy wonka's chocolate factory

mistakes were made
there are ghosts here

we're old, and, if we're being honest, a little embarrassed to have ever cared so deeply about something that will never be again
the catacombs have been sealed, not by anyone's hand, but by the relentless passing of time, and when those of us who were there at last shuffle off this mortal coil, the memories too shall pass from the earth
👻👻👻

I still have the .doc file from the CC spam book that never got finished and I am going to include this as a foreword

PhantomCatClock

"globe"?



there is no evidence azeroth is not flat.

PhantomCatClock

Nintendo releases Zelda 3 with no announcement. "What, did you dumbasses think the others were canon? Like the same story? Jesus."

RobClock


FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK

[u2]O2W0N3uKXmo[/u2]

trailer looks good, it's really nice seeing the half life world with modern graphics. some of those combine setpieces are breathtaking. but no marc laidlaw from what I can tell. they called him on the phone a few times for reference and that seems to be it. what's the point if the writer from the last four entries isn't writing it? that kinda kills it for me. also I can't quite tell if there's a point where you move and shoot at the same time. not being able to do that seem to be a thing with VR games, I dont know why. not entirely excited about the firewatch team being "an important part" of development either. the voice actors are all replaced except g-man, not just the dead ones, but I dont really care about that as much if they do the job right. guess we'll see how it turns out overall.

even if it's a masterpiece I don't think I'm gonna blow enough money for a used car on a VR set and a high spec gaming computer. it would just be this game, alien isolation, and dolphin-vr. metroid prime in vr though...

PhantomCatClock

That looks much better than I thought it would, and I don't mean the graphics

RobClock

It looks.. fine? Graphically speaking its pretty cutting edge which is cool, but this was pretty much the worst case scenario for what it could have been storywise. Certainly doesn't change that I will never purchase a VR headset.

Slurpee

I got a ps4 vr headset for a decent price off ebay
because I wanted to celebrate getting $1000 in my savings account, so I saved the next couple hundred for something stupid
and I heard that once they started actually designing games for vr they started doing some interesting stuff with it and that now's a good time to jump in so yeah

Accounting+ was a good laugh, Moss is a whimsical delight, astrobot rescue whatever is whatever. I haven't played Resident Evil 7 yet because I played it into the dirt before I got vr and I'm waiting until I forgot some of it, but as I understand it the game was built from the ground up for vr so that ought to be good

but yeah they do cool stuff where you crane your neck around "corners" or crouch in real space, and there's something special about it that's kind of impossible to convey without experiencing it for yourself (which is why to advertise vr they always have to show somebody wearing a headset and looking amazed) and I can see why designers would become enamored with it, your brain really gets fooled into thinking you're occupying a virtual space sometimes,
BUT
I don't think it's going to be much more than a novelty in the immediate future or possibly ever because number one, it's special, not $400 special. and number 2 it's not just prohibitively expensive, it requires a dedication of physical space that a lot of people just don't have. I had to rearrange my furniture and my bed still juts into the lower-right eighth of the play area, and I basically live like a prince compared to everybody I know, except Rick. fuck you, Rick. also it can't offer tactile feedback, same problem as the wiimote basically

but the best thing by far? porn. hallelujah, the fucking fucking.
it takes some doing, you have to put the files into a specific format on a specifically formatted thumb drive, but holy shit
and I have to make due with the lazy amateur hour bullshit they bother to produce for gay dudes, I'm sure the straight porn is not only higher quality but more abundant

RobClock

I've been meaning to reply to this but Im just now sitting down at the computer so I can actually type a decent response;

Quote from: GreyClock on November 20, 2019, 02:29:48 PM
I think it's the whole enchilada, see this texture of Azeroth seen from the Legion Space Thingâ,,¢. Although yeah, Kul'Tiras, Broken Isles &c are not even on there. Then again, they're pretty much making it up as they go along, so it's to be expected. (Also, how much time would it take to paint that stuff in and update the file? I mean really?)

There have been globes present in WoW hitherto now that have only shown the three WC3 era continents, like THIS was present in Black Temple, with the other side of the globe just being water. Canonically speaking, Azeroth was a singular land mass prior to the sundering when the Well of Eternity done blowed up and split everything into chunks, forming the maelstrom- so i get why they tend to make new land masses located in between the two OG continents- but like Pandaria was a complete ass pull retcon, so why not have another continent around back? Just say the eastern kingdoms wasn't the easternmost coastline??

QuoteMan, World of Warcraft. It's like the closest thing we have to a really great, immersive and expansive video game world. You're like WOW! (punny!) I really want to play and do all sorts of weird things in different corners of that world. And then you fork over twelve bucks or whatever and you play for a while and you just about die of boredom. Just like you did the previous four times you tried. It doesn't help that my computer has a cyber aneurysm everytime it has to load like Zuldazar or one of the newer epic battlegrounds. What's that? You mounted? Please feel free to move around your invisible character on the minimap as the camera stays stationary for five minutes. My terrible hardware aside. The menial tasks you have to perform constantly to accomplish anything. God.

For the past month I've been playing Classic. I got to level 33. It runs way smoother (like I can actually alt-tab!?!). On the one hand you don't feel so rushed in general because of the slower pace of travel and levelling. On the other you want to kill yourself after running all the way to Desolace in the hopes of hours of fun quests, only to find four really shitty ones (maybe I should plan better, but whatever). There's no constant stream of shit in the chat and people are actually helpful and nice when it comes to questing and dungeons (even if they just feel obliged to out of a sense of nostalgia, I can't tell). At the same time you're constantly reminded of that giant, missing chunk of content you'll never be able to access.

I've played on a couple of different 1.12 private servers over the years, and to this day I've never found vanilla WoW boring per say? I wholly agree with you to the extent of Warcraft being a great fleshed out immersive world, and that was always the major draw for me. The slower pace of things, to my mind, never registered so much as a grind because it made every step forward feel earned, and the stats boosts at level up, another action point to throw on your skill tree, finally being able to wear that pair of spaulders you picked up in Gnomeregon, provided all the incentive I needed to get through a more sparse zones quest wise like Arathi Highlands (fuck silithus though, fuck it to hell). Somewhere along the line, the priority became less the journey and more the destination. I peg it to be around Wrath of the Lich King, because thats about when the magic dimmed for me, but Cataclysm was definitely the biggest culprit. Pre-Cata zones felt more like real places then they did afterwards- The most pertinent example of this dynamic change that comes to mind is with the cutscenes that played upon character creation:
[u2]QorR7yB3g0E[/u2]

In the first, you're just some Dwarf with infinite possibilities before you, and a grand mystique to the comings and goings of the world for you to go and explore. In the second, you're getting front loaded with a ton of political gobbledy gook. The King is a diamond because what? His estranged daughter who? Isn't there a big fuck off dragon flying around???

It's like Blizzard came down with ADHD and rather than allow you to take things at your own pace and enjoy subtle allusions to a deeper story and history, you're dragged by the nose at a breakneck pace through every zone with a direct and linear storyline that has no naturalism about it. No more gathering hay for poor ol' blanchy, now blanchy is FUCKING DEAD and hOrAtIo lAnE is ON THE CASE with his painfully unfunny CSI Miami references which leads eventually to a violent revolution in Westfall that ***YOU*** have to take care of! and when that's all done with there isn't a goddam thing left to experience here, piss off to Duskwood! Lord knows you'll have outleveled the quests before you finish the storyline because we got to get you up to 120(?) to do all these HOT NEW RAIDS

As much as I loved Burning Crusade, as much as I wished for resolution to certain story elements, I would gladly ditch everything that came after 08 if it meant getting back the feeling of being a small part of a thing larger than myself.