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[Slurpee]

the scene in battle royale where nobu's collar is about to explode and he's screaming for help but it's me about to take my automata and computation final

[Slurpee]

the scene in battle royale where nobu's collar is about to explode and he's screaming for help but it's me about to take my automata and computation final

update: im dead

[GreyClock]

also I haven't figured out how to spoof the shoutbox and I'm jelly

I knew this would happen.

[PhantomCatClock]

I shaved my head but kept most of my beard and look super super jewish right now it's incredible

also holy shit my head feels so cool. I think my entire body dropped 2-3 degrees. I hope I don't get used to this fast why the FUCK was I anxious about doing this

[Slurpee]

so I always thought the Elisa Lam elevator footage mostly just looked like a young woman trying to occupy herself while she was bored

people always say she looks scared or possessed or something, and im just like "do you people not get weird when you're bored and alone? "

if you took footage of the last time I was alone, I would look crazy as fuck. lying down on the floor, singing bits of songs, doing "karate", dancing, muttering out loud my half of old arguments that I'm replaying in my head, doing the "I'm Bernadette!" arm thing, doing the shaye saint john hand thing, doing chandler's impression of shelly winters from the poseidon adventure, flipping myself off in the mirror and accidentally making myself sad, doing shooty fingers and pretending to get all of my limbs blown off like robocop
... if I just happened to die, for whatever reason, would people take that as some kind of spooky happening?
but really I'm just fun ok just a lot of FUN

yeah it was a haunted hotel sure great fine, that's nice and scary until you remember that ghosts don't exist you freakin dingbats!!!

watch the footage and just forget you're looking at a dead girl
imagine you saw your friend doing this
would you get scared? or would you be like "can I get a copy of this so I can make fun of her for being a weirdo?"

imagine
1) she's bored in the hotel at night and decides to live out her childhood fantasy of riding an elevator up and down
2) she then realizes she is on the shittiest elevator in the world and pops her head out on the off-chance that a clerk or janitor will be happening by and explain what the fuck is wrong with this goddamned elevator (seriously why do those doors take so long to close? the hold door button does not last that long!)
3) but they're not so she does a weird step/jump dance, presses all the buttons again
4) gets bored and waits outside, deciding what to do
5) decides to check out the roof (which was not locked and did not have an alarm. seriously there's a ton of footage from people who just walked up there even after she died when they would have been a lot more serious about their security just for the optics and insurance alone, the hotel staff were just flat-out lying about that)

or better yet just watch this tubedubber I made with patton oswalt's impression of himself when he's alone in the car:
https://tubedubber.com/?q=EZJCADL83X0:CWcUupayezk:0:100:36:31:1#

honestly, I think it was irresponsible of the cops to release that footage, because I'm pretty sure there wasn't even any information they were hoping to glean from releasing it to the public? all it did was take a tragic death and turn it into something for internet weirdos to obsess over endlessly. I was going to make this post years ago but I wanted to wait for the fervor to die down but apparently that's never going to happen. her name now echoes with connotation, like jonbenet ramsay or the dyatlov pass. her poor family. =/

THAT SAID
this youtube conspiracy theory about the footage being tampered with is definitely true lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YO4QbaNDjI
like it'd be fair to say I'm more of a Scully when it comes to this shit, right? like I tend toward the least interesting explanation that raises the fewest questions about sinister unknowns? just how I am
but this is weird/
basically:

• the footage looks like it's being played back at the wrong speed
• when it's sped up 135%, it looks more natural
•   and the garbled text at the bottom cleanly lines up to minutes and seconds counters
•   ... and the minute counter jumps when it's not supposed to. if this video's conclusions are right, almost a minute of footage is missing

it could be innocent– maybe the reason she stood there so long is she became self-conscious because somebody happened to pass by and, since it wasn't a person of interest, the l.a.p.d. just cut that part out
then again, the fact that the numbers are blurred and the footage is at the wrong speed would be AWFULLY COINCIDENTAL if they weren't trying to hide it
then again again, if somebody was trying to hide something, why release the footage at all?
maybe it's a psyop. make it look spooky so weirdos get obsessed with it and therefore anybody who talks about it looks like a weirdo
then again again again, we don't know that it was the l.a.p.d. that did the editing- it could have been the hotel staff and the l.a.p.d. just didn't do their due diligence. (or got paid to look the other way. I mean, it is the l.a.p.d. after all)
("corrected"-speed footage, if accurate, also bolsters my theory that she was just bored, if I do say so myself. she's a lot less ghostly and a lot more boopity boppity)
(also SERIOUSLY, WHY do those doors take so long to close? you'd think the fact that it's slowed down would explain it, but then it adds an entire missing minute of just hhhhhhaaaangin' open)

[Slurpee]

what happens if you get on an elevator that's going up, and you press a button that's below the floor that you're on?
I don't know!
I assume it goes to the highest floor it was planning on before going back down, but I've never checked
what if I wanted to check? will I get possessed by a ghost and die!!!!

[Slurpee]

also, WHY do my favorite unicode characters, bullet and en dash that I keep misusing as an em dash
%u2022 %u2013
, keep BREAKING when I edit my posts?


@vcrclock olskoo will hear of this!!!!

[Slurpee]

olskoo will hear of this!!!!

remember this meme?




god I'm so old

[Slurpee]

I shaved my head but kept most of my beard and look super super jewish right now it's incredible

also holy shit my head feels so cool. I think my entire body dropped 2-3 degrees. I hope I don't get used to this fast why the FUCK was I anxious about doing this

shoulda given yourself a mohawk

[PhantomCatClock]

I did it in the shower with no mirror but i probably would've



I am 100% for the elevator conspiracy and those bullet points sound super legit but re: the missing minute: I can assure you security cctv systems are absolute pieces of shit and while something amazing may have happened, if this is really any long amount of footage, it just crapping out is not a wildly unbelievable assumption

[Slurpee]

but re: the missing minute: I can assure you security cctv systems are absolute pieces of shit and while something amazing may have happened, if this is really any long amount of footage, it just crapping out is not a wildly unbelievable assumption

"extremely shitty camera" is my assumption for why the numbers are unreadable and it recording at a different speed than it plays
I mean, just look at it, it's so shitty. at LEAST as shitty as the insanely shitty elevator it's in

[PhantomCatClock]

yeah, being the security guy who knows where all the cameras are and which ones connect to which other ones and the fastest way to drag them onto the screen to follow someone around the store is cool



being the guy who has to lean forward and fucking squint at a 30x26 recording of a cashier under scrutiny because a bitchy customer complained about nothing is not cool. Invariably takes ten times longer than the actual transaction because I have to rewatch this blurry bullshit over and over to get conclusive answers. WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE JUST STEAL I'M GOOD AT CATCHING THAT

[GreyClock]

hhhrhrehhbnng hnnu hnu h

On Wikipedia it says that the footage was released four days before her body was even found. The quality is shit, maybe they were hoping someone would recognize her movements and behavior from elsewhere? "Yeah, a girl like that was ducking in and out of my convenience store on February 2nd." Establish a timeline, all that junk. Maybe in the "lost minute" she was I don't know, goose-stepping, and they didn't want to risk embarrassing her after she was found again? Maybe it was a random passer-by? Maybe the camera just crapped out /\ ?

People seem to be reading a lot into this, filling in the gaps (as THE INTERNET is wont to do). All the stuff about the video, the lowered speed, the garbled text, what did regular footage from that elevator look like? It says her mouth is "pixelized" at times, which might very well be the case, it might also be a dithering issue (if that's the correct term? you know when areas of a video misalign, causing sharp angles? Tearing?). Before the pixelation the left side of her face is slightly lower than her right. Just speaking from my limited experience in Flash, when you scale down video or photos, it happens all the time. Pixels get lost in the process, sometimes those are the half-tones that are responsible for softening lines. As such, details get lost, or are even exagerated. (I'm sure there's a better word for it.) Now, I'm not saying it's one or the other, but...

Regarding her behavior, some of it might be a form of confirmation bias, sure. That said, to me, she does seem a little off. I think it's an evolutionary thing, you never walk down the street and see someone make certain movements that just stand out, make you feel uneasy somehow? Fight-or-flight stuff. "Better watch out, might be dealing with a nut here." She had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I had occasion once to interact with someone in the throes of a severe manic episode, it's unsettling as fuck.

All in all, yeah it's terrible for her family. The situation itself, and the circus around it. Quote from the wiki: "[...] and her rectum was also prolapsed." Great, thanks.

[k9]

I've hit some what of a creative block recently. I keep trying to make new games, but I can't seem to get anything to go anywhere, or I just lose focus or get bored. I haven't released a game in 2 months, nor am I close to doing so, so idk what do. I wanna start my Clock Day submission soon so when its done, its all nice and polished and half decent unlike the last one, but idk what i'll make. I'll try toying around with a few ideas. I was gonnae do GREY as my Clock Day game, but honestly I don't think it'd be a good one. It's barely related to the CC, and it's not very funny lmao.

[Slurpee]

hhhrhrehhbnng hnnu hnu h

[Slurpee]

On Wikipedia it says that the footage was released four days before her body was even found.

I didn't know this and retract my conjecture about it being irresponsible

you never walk down the street and see someone make certain movements that just stand out, make you feel uneasy somehow? Fight-or-flight stuff. "Better watch out, might be dealing with a nut here." She had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I had occasion once to interact with someone in the throes of a severe manic episode, it's unsettling as fuck.

I live in the bay area, interacting with mentally ill street people is just part of life

I'll cop that there's something unsettling about her movements, particularly when she's doing the hand thing ("petting an invisible dog") and just before she goes to press the buttons the second time, but the hand movements look practiced to me, like she was doing a dance move or naruto hand signals or something, and the crouch-walk mostly looks weird because of her disheveled hair and the way she's holding her fingetips out (which is something people do sometimes when they're hallucinating and can't trust their eyesight, they kind of hold their hands out I guess as a surrogate sense of what's in their periphery?... orrrr it could just be that she was running her fingertips along the entrance and it was a narrow opening )

[Slurpee]

yeah, being the security guy who knows where all the cameras are and which ones connect to which other ones and the fastest way to drag them onto the screen to follow someone around the store is cool



being the guy who has to lean forward and fucking squint at a 30x26 recording of a cashier under scrutiny because a bitchy customer complained about nothing is not cool. Invariably takes ten times longer than the actual transaction because I have to rewatch this blurry bullshit over and over to get conclusive answers. WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE JUST STEAL I'M GOOD AT CATCHING THAT

when I got fired for flipping off a customer, the assistant manager said normally he'd tell me to deny it because the cameras are so blurry, but for some reason it was unusually clear what I was doing to the point that it made him laugh out loud. just center of the frame, hand up, finger up

[Slurpee]

I've hit some what of a creative block recently. I keep trying to make new games, but I can't seem to get anything to go anywhere, or I just lose focus or get bored. I haven't released a game in 2 months, nor am I close to doing so, so idk what do. I wanna start my Clock Day submission soon so when its done, its all nice and polished and half decent unlike the last one, but idk what i'll make. I'll try toying around with a few ideas. I was gonnae do GREY as my Clock Day game, but honestly I don't think it'd be a good one. It's barely related to the CC, and it's not very funny lmao.

my advice: make something small that you don't care about, and do a bad job on purpose

it's amusing in and of itself, it obviates any concerns or doubts you might have about being able to deliver what you intend, it usually turns out pretty funny, and it gets the creative wheels turning

[PhantomCatClock]

The last time I brought up my shitty grocery union and how shitty and useless it was, you said they helped you out when you did that. Now you were fired



also I watched that footage and she seems like your run of the mill weirdo. I'd definitely call her out on the radio and try to get her removed from the store as politely as possible, but it's nothing you don't see at least once a day on blurry California cameras


tho I work at a little shirt retailer and not a murder hotel

[PhantomCatClock]

she was younger than me and died in a year a barely even remember. now there's some perspective.