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Farted by Losperman, November 01, 2005, 01:26:35 AM

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PhantomCatClock

I had way too much ass mustard to get a burn back then



it was a simpler time in my life

GreyClock

What's ass mustard? It half sounds like you took a diarrhea shit in your pantaloons. But I'm not sure how wearing black pants and two shirts would cause that? Is it a fat guy thing? Have you secretly been a fat guy this whole time? Or is it like swamp ass? Or is it a mixture of swamp ass moisture with an improperly wiped asshole and heat and it creates a mustard type texture? Glazed mustard butt crust. Is that it? You should really wipe better. I wipe and wipe and wipe till I bleed.

GreyClock

I was watching a Youtube video of someone drummin' real good and I glanced over the comments and it said the name "Vinnie Colaiuta" which I remembered from the song Catholic Girls off of Frank Zappa's Joe's Garage. At some point in the song the character Mary says that name. Turns out it's the name of the drummer on that album. He was only 22 or 23 at the time of recording. Imagine how good you have to be to drum for Zappa. Well, this good apparently:
[u2]bpTUXEM1DEY[/u2]

(Like it wasn't already apparent from Joe's Garage but uhhh...)

RenegadeClock

Quote from: RobClock on April 05, 2019, 06:48:15 PM
It’s 8:45 and I’m here for the 9:30 showing of Shazam, and I’m the only one waiting in the queue outside the theatre. It would be slightly less embarrassing if I wasn’t also standing in front of the poster for DUMBO but I feel like the universe is just rubbing it in.

This is why I only go to theaters with assigned seating now. You can show up the exact moment when the movie starts, or even later if you don't care about watching trailers.

PhantomCatClock

The only reason I started going to theatres with assigned seating is because my one back home got those fancy robot recliners and it was the only one in town (not that I'm complainingâ€"better seats and a better system than waiting in lines)

VCRClock

#111085
Quote from: PhantomCatClock on April 05, 2019, 06:40:39 PM
I want a device that's like a cassette player but instead of moving a tiny tape from one reel to the next at a respectable speed, it moves an entire roll of toilet paper as fast as possible

[u2]r7XmUf0WfPc[/u2]

Quote from: GreyClock on April 06, 2019, 04:03:07 AM
What's ass mustard? It half sounds like you took a diarrhea shit in your pantaloons. But I'm not sure how wearing black pants and two shirts would cause that? Is it a fat guy thing? Have you secretly been a fat guy this whole time? Or is it like swamp ass? Or is it a mixture of swamp ass moisture with an improperly wiped asshole and heat and it creates a mustard type texture? Glazed mustard butt crust. Is that it? You should really wipe better. I wipe and wipe and wipe till I bleed.

this question should really be addressed

I once heard a texas radio dj describe the weather in terms of a "black t-shirt index" because there is a portion of the year during which it's hot and sunny enough that wearing a black t-shirt is asking for it, so who knows what pcat is doing wearing two shirts. he probably accidentally put on a dukakis/bentsen shirt and had to put a bush/quayle shirt on over it. he's probably just wearing black pants so the ass mustard doesn't show
<Marlin Clock> This thread seems proof positive that divisiveness at any level is usually bad for the Clock Crew.
<PhantomCatClock> are we talking about the same clock crew

RobClock

Shazam was really good by the way. Pretty much a 1:1 adaptation of John’s New 52 stint with the character.

The credits sequel hook stinger got me very very excited but I think I was the only one in the theatre who was

PhantomCatClock

ass mustard has nothing you do with fat people you hairy sea foam you braincorrupting phlegmwad you pecker bender you sickening strobile you cumbersome philanderer you lavatorial swamp mouth you car-wrecking polyp on the anus of humanity you soporiferous pithecantropoid you aftershock school girl you load of miserably foul-scenting gutter scoop you cesspit of redundantly garrulous buzzard leavings you rubber pikey you mouse-nibbled gibbon you so enviously bold Paris Hilton fan you tainted cuckold you duke of eternally canine condoms you tanker full of hedomadally softhearted monkey zits you tottering lady's saddle sniffer you tireless maniac you raunchy Conan the Barbarian you forelorn Margaret Thatcher you dumptruck full of spitefully volatile spitoon spillage you emperor of freshly airheaded fungi you pedantic eel you meat-flavoured perversion you parsimonious arsehole you robustious prig you engorged Attercop you ball of pixilatedly unleashed nocturnal emissions you bowl of paltrily startling innards you briny someone whose mother is a hamster you inamiable logophile you deft poo-head you unskillful Urungus you so zanily substantial Viagra addict you so inhumanely robust warthog you seven-stomached nut you aromatic opsimath you diaper-wearing penny filcher you pop-eyed gumma you mug of attractively spongy owl sick you synapse-challenged freak you sickly cad you clueless muldoon you farty pencil you blithered goon you snotty-faced perversion you so idiotically seamless dough-for-brains you obscure libertine you pagan brainsucker you piece of mewlingly schizophrene tripe you raunchy gibbon you tentacled insanity you coagulation of diaphanously unimaginable demon rum you lamentable stoner you drastic jughead you pancake besmeared with aromatically frightened owl sick you low budget gimcrack you empty-hearted zoophyte you self-satisfied condom you simple-minded belch-guts you underrated double sponge brain you cake of nerve-frayingly naughty varnish remover you wreaking Spice Girl you wheelbarrow full of deliberately nerdile offscourings you adventitious computer freak you pale-hearted flagellant you parochial eel you empress of white-liveredly surly Gorgonzola you perfidious drudge you logorrheaic pighead you bowl of abstrusely degenerate goop you bible-wielding homo erectus you eminent scumbucket you dolorous hellhound you pribbling frogling you evaporating cake sniffer you foul spoilsport you artificial arch-enemy you sesquipedantic illiterate you garlic-gorging drudge you B2B snaggletooth you tenebrous twonk you shovel-full of snidely dismissive mucus you so abismally angelic merkin you murky Voldemort you bubbling wench you draft-dodging freak you perpetual dupe you so phosphorescently sharp sleazoid you creepy modo you jellow-bellied assistant proctologist you disappointing Azrael you rejected magnolia you crock of galactophagously ornery panda pee you barrel full of joylessly incontinent toenails you cut-off Michael Jackson worshipper you nodose ingemination you tankard of dauntlessly raving sinus drainage you raging pain in the neck you ugolicious Internet troll you wheelbarrow full of dishonourably perplexed tissue you dysfunctional schmageggi-head it's when you get sweaty and sweat gets in your crack and you go to wipe later and it's yellow hence the name ass mustard don't even say you don't get that only liars say that and oh boy what a unique idea you just had hey since you're the first person to have that thought let me post the mandatory osha poster that's in every business in the states








Quote from: VCRClock on April 06, 2019, 04:17:34 PM
this question should really be addressed
ok

Clockalope

I FEEL

LIKE

there is an EXTREME abuse of power going on here :<
I'm here to finish the fight...

GreyClock


PhantomCatClock

I have done nothing but wipe asses for the last three years dont ack like you know me ass mustard is real and it affects every human in humid areas

GreyClock

I spent some time working on an archeological dig in like 100 degree heat and not once did I find anything even remotely resembling mustard on my ass. I did develop a rash though.

Imagine that... sifting through ancient junk all day with an itchy fucking ass, wishing you could trade places with the half-excavated skeleton that's been happily dead for two millenia.

PhantomCatClock

(1) was it a 100 degree swamp

(2) see fig 1. in this post, bottom right

patriotclock

where my homies watching wrestlemania tonight at tho

PhantomCatClock

i am sorry i called you a hairy sea foam and a braincorrupting phlegmwad and a pecker bender and a sickening strobile and a cumbersome philanderer and a lavatorial swamp mouth and a car-wrecking polyp on the anus of humanity and a soporiferous pithecantropoid and a aftershock school girl and a load of miserably foul-scenting gutter scoop and a cesspit of redundantly garrulous buzzard leavings and a rubber pikey and a mouse-nibbled gibbon and a so enviously bold Paris Hilton fan and a tainted cuckold and a duke of eternally canine condoms and a tanker full of hedomadally softhearted monkey zits and a tottering lady's saddle sniffer and a tireless maniac and a raunchy Conan the Barbarian and a forelorn Margaret Thatcher and a dumptruck full of spitefully volatile spitoon spillage and a emperor of freshly airheaded fungi and a pedantic eel and a meat-flavoured perversion and a parsimonious arsehole and a robustious prig and a engorged Attercop and a ball of pixilatedly unleashed nocturnal emissions and a bowl of paltrily startling innards and a briny someone whose mother is a hamster and a inamiable logophile and a deft poo-head and a unskillful Urungus and a so zanily substantial Viagra addict and a so inhumanely robust warthog and a seven-stomached nut and a aromatic opsimath and a diaper-wearing penny filcher and a pop-eyed gumma and a mug of attractively spongy owl sick and a synapse-challenged freak and a sickly cad and a clueless muldoon and a farty pencil and a blithered goon and a snotty-faced perversion and a so idiotically seamless dough-for-brains and a obscure libertine and a pagan brainsucker and a piece of mewlingly schizophrene tripe and a raunchy gibbon and a tentacled insanity and a coagulation of diaphanously unimaginable demon rum and a lamentable stoner and a drastic jughead and a pancake besmeared with aromatically frightened owl sick and a low budget gimcrack and a empty-hearted zoophyte and a self-satisfied condom and a simple-minded belch-guts and a underrated double sponge brain and a cake of nerve-frayingly naughty varnish remover and a wreaking Spice Girl and a wheelbarrow full of deliberately nerdile offscourings and a adventitious computer freak and a pale-hearted flagellant and a parochial eel and a empress of white-liveredly surly Gorgonzola and a perfidious drudge and a logorrheaic pighead and a bowl of abstrusely degenerate goop and a bible-wielding homo erectus and a eminent scumbucket and a dolorous hellhound and a pribbling frogling and a evaporating cake sniffer and a foul spoilsport and a artificial arch-enemy and a sesquipedantic illiterate and a garlic-gorging drudge and a B2B snaggletooth and a tenebrous twonk and a shovel-full of snidely dismissive mucus and a so abismally angelic merkin and a murky Voldemort and a bubbling wench and a draft-dodging freak and a perpetual dupe and a so phosphorescently sharp sleazoid and a creepy modo and a jellow-bellied assistant proctologist and a disappointing Azrael and a rejected magnolia and a crock of galactophagously ornery panda pee and a barrel full of joylessly incontinent toenails and a cut-off Michael Jackson worshipper and a nodose ingemination and a tankard of dauntlessly raving sinus drainage and a raging pain in the neck and a ugolicious Internet troll and a wheelbarrow full of dishonourably perplexed tissue and a dysfunctional schmageggi-head that was out of line

Slurpee

Quote from: PatriotClock on April 07, 2019, 02:53:47 PM
where my homies watching wrestlemania tonight at tho
holding off until I can watch it with my buddy ;(

he's tryna buy a house in the next year so he's been taking as many overtime hours as he can, so it's been rough getting our schedules to line up

no spoilers plz

patriotclock

Quote from: Slurpee on April 08, 2019, 01:44:10 PM
Quote from: PatriotClock on April 07, 2019, 02:53:47 PM
where my homies watching wrestlemania tonight at tho
holding off until I can watch it with my buddy ;(

he's tryna buy a house in the next year so he's been taking as many overtime hours as he can, so it's been rough getting our schedules to line up

no spoilers plz

spoiler it was like 8 hours long

PhantomCatClock

i found it free on youtube

[u2]NNi1yfJmkXc[/u2]

GreyClock

#111098
I'm sorry for implying that you have a humongous fat ass. It was unseemly.

How can a joke about an ass be unseemly? There's a big fucking seem right down the middle.

PhantomCatClock

We are asscheeks, you and I. Sometimes shit gets between us, but in the end, we always come back together.