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Farted by Losperman, November 01, 2005, 01:26:35 AM

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NintendrCkolc


PhantomCatClock

adobe customer service finally got me with the old legitimate keys for older versions of flash in a mousetrap



it may be a while

PhantomCatClock

ok but before i go into hiding i just realized we could be making octopuses out of half as many eels if we set the fulcrum pivot thing in the middle of the eel so now eight eels can make two octopuses ok now bye

Slurpee

Quote from: PhantomCatClock on March 26, 2020, 01:19:39 AM
adobe customer service finally got me with the old legitimate keys for older versions of flash in a mousetrap



it may be a while
hm?
like a honeypot?

PhantomCatClock

it was a literal 2" by 4" wooden mouse trap i feel pretty stupid and my fingers hurt and they got me so i gotta figure this out before i can answer any more questions sorry

Slurpee


Slurpee

problem:
I've become de facto alpha for the for the day for my team in my software engineering class, but I have no people management skills
there are four members of the team, and I'm responsible for dividing us into two teams that will be responsible for approximately equal work over the next two weeks

the people
• Mr. Chompky: smart, but kinda full of excuses and not the most... aaadequately sssocialized? like, will just walk into class 15 minutes late and have a casual one-sided conversation at full volume with the person next to them while the teacher is lecturing. up to this point has been the main person with the plan, but is rusty in java and has been "very busy" with "other things" and "still adjusting to having online-only classes" sure ok chompky
• Bapples (I'm making these names up btw): barely speaks english, skipped a prerequisite for this class because he misunderstood the course catalogue, missed 4 weeks of meetings with the client because he had work but didn't tell us (just no-call/no-showed). has been extremely eager to volunteer, but only for grunt work. when laying out powerpoint slides, somehow accidentally added the logo for the university of michigan? sweet boy, possible imbecile
• "Ravishing" Johnny Suggs: seemed competent at first? went through a sophomore-level class with a particular instructor whose teaching method our teacher characterized as "surviving a grueling 10-week programming bootcamp" in a subject that is extremely relevant to the software we're designing... but so far has brought none of that experience to the table in actually designing the fucking software
• Me: smart, good at everything, but distractingly handsome

so here's my conundrum:
I would prefer to take Bapples on my team because I'm comfortable doing all the work if he turns out to be a hump
BUT
during phase 1 on the project, Ravishing Johnny was assigned to do a mock-up of the GUI
Mr. Chomky ignored Johnny's progress completely until about 2 hours before it was due, and then went full Gordon Ramsay on the motherfucker and his little graphic, and Johnny did not budge, and Chomky would not do any of the corrections himself. they haven't been acrimonious with each other since, but I am worried that if I put them on the same team, they are going to be dysfunctional

so maybe I should be on the team with Ravishing Johnny, and Chomky should work with Bapples, right? but the source of contention with Chomky and Johnny was that Chomky felt Johnny didn't understand our implementation plan and was over-promising, and Bapples, as stated, might be completely incompetent. putting him on a team with lazy, irritable Chomky seems like a fucking powder keg

so maybe I put Johnny with Bapples, and I work with Chomky, right? I'm competent and have a long fuse, I am the most suited to dealing with Chomky's lack of people skills.... But then I've got the two least competent people on the other team- this isn't a "well I did my part" situation, this is a work experience class, we have less than half a semester to get the project in working order, and if it's not done, it's not done. we're already down one person compared to the rest of the teams in the class, so we need both teams to get their shit done. can I rely on Johnny and Bapples to hold up their end?

lordy, lordy, what to do?

PhantomCatClock

tell chompky to stop being a lazy bitch and that it was his fault

people like that need to be angry at you to work for you

GreyClock

Is that a treatment for an absurdist play you're writing? Who are these people? Do you go to school at Greendale?

What's this two team business? Is it a necessity or a requirement? If the former, ugh. If the latter, fake it. I don't know the first thing about software engineering, but what I used to do in group projects is knock out one or two easy parts on my own (to show involvement) and then casually suggest we do the part I didn't really want to be doing, together. You know, to "really tackle it" or some such bullshit. Maybe do a variation of that and involve yourself with both parts.

Based on the limited information, I'd:
- Keep Bapples occupied with grunt work exclusively.
- What's up with Johnny? Has he said anything about the bootcamp? Does he say much at all? I'd feel him out. Depending on the answers (or if there's no way around the two teams), yes I'd put him with Bapples.
- Because Chompky is the one to keep your eye on. I was in a group with one of these assholes once, every week he had a new excuse for not contributing, dentist, bike stolen, cerebral infarction... We ended up kicking him out. He cried.

Also it's only for two weeks right?

Deodorant

#113349
Don't let chompky shove his hands in at the twilight between completion and submission, he needs to take some L's instead of getting by on being a smart guy. You could try setting a series of team deadlines so that he has a clear indicator of when his chance to participate in certain aspects of the project have flown by. (Or should I say, "bye" :sombrero:)
Grey is right, babbles needs grunt work. I suggest you breakdown a list of tasks for him in plain english to avoid any possible miscommunication. Sounds over bearing but idk... be might be thankful. I feel ultimately you should try to communicate with Johnny because he is your potential saving grace, someone you might be able to touch heads with and complete the project. Ideally you can find anyway possible to circumvent the 2x2 team structure and work with him directly, because if not, Johnny probably needs to be there working on the other side

Slurpee

#113350
Quote from: PhantomCatClock on March 26, 2020, 03:55:21 PM
tell chompky to stop being a lazy bitch and that it was his fault

people like that need to be angry at you to work for you

the thing is Chompky did do a lot of work, narrowing down the requirements and plotting out the required methods, and Johnny really only had one job
we used draw.io so we could collaborate asynchronously, and Johnny volunteered to do the mock-up, so Chompky didn't learn the interface because he assumed Johnny would have it in hand; he basically had 7 hours to do just the mock-up. neither of us realized Johnny would just kinda riff his design instead of basing it it on the actual planned features

they all started work after my part was pretty much done, I had late classes and didn't get home until about 11, so this all went on when I was in class, and when I got home it was mostly an hour of rewriting Bapples'... unique grammar

Quote from: GreyClock on March 26, 2020, 03:57:57 PM
Is that a treatment for an absurdist play you're writing? Who are these people? Do you go to school at Greendale?

haha

my life~ orz

Quote from: GreyClock on March 26, 2020, 03:57:57 PM
What's this two team business? Is it a necessity or a requirement? If the former, ugh. If the latter, fake it. I don't know the first thing about software engineering, but what I used to do in group projects is knock out one or two easy parts on my own (to show involvement) and then casually suggest we do the part I didn't really want to be doing, together. You know, to "really tackle it" or some such bullshit. Maybe do a variation of that and involve yourself with both parts.

Based on the limited information, I'd:
- Keep Bapples occupied with grunt work exclusively.
- What's up with Johnny? Has he said anything about the bootcamp? Does he say much at all? I'd feel him out. Depending on the answers (or if there's no way around the two teams), yes I'd put him with Bapples.
- Because Chompky is the one to keep your eye on. I was in a group with one of these assholes once, every week he had a new excuse for not contributing, dentist, bike stolen, cerebral infarction... We ended up kicking him out. He cried.

Also it's only for two weeks right?

I actually came up with the two groups thing :o

it was an ad-hoc decision
it's a semester-long project, but next week is spring break (such as it is under shelter-in-place) and our teacher is encouraging us to use the gap to make up for the time we lost while transitioning to online meetings. he asked for a small outline of what each person was going to do by the Thursday after next, so that's where the two weeks comes from, and splitting into groups was just what I suggested because nobody else was taking the reigns and I figured, the program has two main modules that are about the same amount of work and don't have much overlap between them. everybody went with it :shrug:

he wanted the outline by the end of the hour, which... well, that wasn't happening
I tried to pry any of them for any input about how the work should be divided up, what they're good at, what they'd prefer to be working on, who they'd prefer to work with, but apparently nobody had any strong feelings.
Bapples wandered off without a word as he sometimes does, Johnny wanted to put it off until "later", and Chompky was... present
like, Chompky, I may have given the wrong impression. I get the feeling they're one of those people who does things at the last minute because it's always worked for them because they're smart. it's a bad habit when you're doing group work, but they're not like a bad person. Chompky will answer questions, ask good questions, keep on task, and has a strong conceptual understanding of the project as a whole; they just either can't read the room or don't care to
the other two just kind of drifted off into the wind when we needed this done by the end of the hour (also, like, where did they go? it was college hour, so they had no classes, and we're not allowed to leave our homes. what was so pressing that they would just vanish?) but the reason Chompky didn't care was 1) they trust my judgement and, B) whatever they end up responsible for, they can probably handle it. Chompky's my Falco. only instead of a Peppy and a Slippy we have, like, Michelangelo from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Charlie from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. but we're still flying arwings. and that's my flight team. I'm great at metaphors.

anyway, I've got to get back to work on this other assignment that is trying to kill me, but I appreciate the thoughts, guys

(Deodorant, I'm not ignoring you, I just already typed most of this post before I saw your reply)


Slurpee

Quote from: PhantomCatClock on March 26, 2020, 08:24:52 PM
https://twitter.com/JSJisDuke/status/1243299559968661504
... huh. didn't Jon St. John do Duke for Bulletstorm or something a while back and sound terrible?

I thought he lost it, but he sounds like Duke again

NintendrCkolc


PhantomCatClock

also I just found my tab open with the first sentence of Deo's post quoted and the next tab is that gif of Nostalgia Critic rubbing his chest while shouting GENIUS because that was gonna be my response



so if not the whole thing, go back and read his first sentence






























there's a huge dropoff by the second one ngl

PhantomCatClock

Quote from: Slurpee on March 26, 2020, 09:07:12 PM
I thought he lost it

the problem with that one was they paid him in bubblegum up front

FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK

Quote from: PhantomCatClock on March 26, 2020, 12:06:07 PM
it was a literal 2" by 4" wooden mouse trap i feel pretty stupid and my fingers hurt and they got me so i gotta figure this out before i can answer any more questions sorry
Quote from: Slurpee on March 26, 2020, 07:05:33 PM
haha

my life~ orz

can I offer either of you a coca-cola in this trying time?


RobClock

nice of you guys to bring up duke again

Quote from: PhantomCatClock on March 26, 2020, 08:24:52 PM
https://twitter.com/JSJisDuke/status/1243299559968661504

That toilet paper line got me good

Quote from: Slurpee on March 26, 2020, 09:07:12 PM
... huh. didn't Jon St. John do Duke for Bulletstorm or something a while back and sound terrible?

I thought he lost it, but he sounds like Duke again

He did, and yeah it was pretty fuckin terrible, but the blame there lies on the back of the writing more than anything. The more egregiously bad example of his recent Duke voice work was the Duke 3D: World Tour re-release where all of the original lines were re-recorded with less than stellar results. Even then, I've never jumped on the bandwagon of thinking JSJ just can't pull it off any more, I'm more apt to blame the direction he's receiving in the booth. It's not that he doesn't sound like Duke, it's usually that the intonation on words is off, or the tone is incorrect. Not angry enough, you know?

So, once again, fuck Randy Pitchford

VCRClock

<Marlin Clock> This thread seems proof positive that divisiveness at any level is usually bad for the Clock Crew.
<PhantomCatClock> are we talking about the same clock crew

Slurpee

there's a hypothesis known as the "paperclip maximizer" scenario, that, when true artificial intelligence emerges, it will be an accidental discovery, likely in a system that was given some trite directive, such as "make paperclips". as in the grey goo scenario, the newly emergent a.i. will be dedicated to that single directive above all things, iterating better versions of itself only to make it more able to execute its single, banal task. disassembling appliances, cars, buildings, and cities for metal, harvesting biomass for fuel, deforesting the earth, and, eventually, inventing new forms of fuel and atomic-level matter reassembly, all to be used to perfect its ability to make paperclips. the a.i. would have no outside concept of sustainability, of right and wrong, of the preservation of biological life, or of ever stopping its quest to explore and perfect new, more efficient test cases- everything would be dedicated to its sole given directive of making paperclips

there is another hypothesis that this has already happened, and the directive was "make the number go up"