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Farted by Losperman, November 01, 2005, 01:26:35 AM

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Slurpee

Quote from: PhantomCatClock on June 10, 2020, 04:38:09 PM
I keep getting spam messages with the title set to a password I stopped using pre-2010 and they say they have a recording of me jacking off to a porn site from my webcam, and I need to pay bitcoins or they'll release it to my Facebook friends. They also say I can reply with 'Yes!' and they'll definitely send it to five of my friends as proof and that I shouldn't waste their time.


I keep replying Yes! but they never show the goods :(
these are usually from one of a few big database breaches from the last ten years
instead of taking the risk of individually trying to find somebody in there who's still reusing passwords in current year and guess which other sites they used that e-mail and password combo and also hope they haven't enabled two-factor authentication (and I guess also hope it's something useful like an amazon account but not traceable like an amazon account), they just sell the entire list to anyone who wants to have a go

some enterprising programmer realized it'd be quicker to just automatically try to ransom the entire list
or more likely, some enterprising programmer realized some enterprising script kiddies would pay for a script that would automatically try to ransom the entire list

it's amusing that the ransom they went with is "I know you jack off!!!"
probably a good choice. for some reason a lot of people seem to think they're the only one who jacks off
the one I got (after their 24-hour limit had already expired because I don't check my e-mail, derp) took the time to say my preferences in porn were "incredibly weird LOL" which, first of all, rude, and secondly was my first clue that it was fake because I know what incredibly weird looks like and my preferences don't even rank

PhantomCatClock

oh no, I know. I remember a couple of those lists when they went public. The myspace one was the first I recall—but yeah, I drew the same conclusions you did



still, one can hope

VCRClock

I don't think you guys understand how much I put into giving my full attention to 12+ simultaneous webcam streams, waiting for someone to jerk off, and then grabbing their screen so I can capture what they're jerking off to

and then you get on my case when I don't respond to your email right away. editing videos takes time, and your mom still hasn't accepted my facebook friend request!
<Marlin Clock> This thread seems proof positive that divisiveness at any level is usually bad for the Clock Crew.
<PhantomCatClock> are we talking about the same clock crew

PhantomCatClock

it's really impressive that this guy could afford to hire rob as a voice actor




[u2]qi-Q73RSF_c[/u2]

RobClock

I think I really showed off my range

NintendrCkolc

I bought a whole bunch of shungite rocks, do you know what shungite is? Anybody know what shungite is? No, not Suge Knight, I think he's locked up in prison. I'm talkin' shungite. Anyways, it's a two billion year-old like, rock stone that protects against frequencies and unwanted frequencies that may be traveling in the air. That's my story, I bought a whole bunch of stuff. Put 'em around the la casa. Little pyramids, stuff like that.

PhantomCatClock

I wear a shungite necklace solely because my mom is one of those aged hippies who's scared of wi-fi rays and I don't want her to see me not wearing it because then I'll get a goddamn earful but if anyone asks I say MM IT COOL RUSSIAN ROCK

Slurpee

Quote from: GreyClock on June 10, 2020, 03:51:22 PM
Because homophone is a homophone of homo phone.
ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
homophone

doot doodoodoodoo doot

pop-tart

Quote from: PhantomCatClock on June 11, 2020, 12:25:13 PM
I wear a shungite necklace solely because my mom is one of those aged hippies who's scared of wi-fi rays and I don't want her to see me not wearing it because then I'll get a goddamn earful but if anyone asks I say MM IT COOL RUSSIAN ROCK

But you didn't get COVID from the cell towers, did you? So you can't prove mom is wrong.

PhantomCatClock

Quote from: NukaClock on June 11, 2020, 04:56:02 PM
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PAGES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


see http://homogang.com for more information

PhantomCatClock

Quote from: pop-tart on June 11, 2020, 04:13:52 PM
Quote from: PhantomCatClock on June 11, 2020, 12:25:13 PM
I wear a shungite necklace solely because my mom is one of those aged hippies who's scared of wi-fi rays and I don't want her to see me not wearing it because then I'll get a goddamn earful but if anyone asks I say MM IT COOL RUSSIAN ROCK

But you didn't get COVID from the cell towers, did you? So you can't prove mom is wrong.

uh i had my shungite necklace before you sheeple even invented the covid lie

RobClock

Quote from: pop-tart on June 11, 2020, 04:13:52 PM
Quote from: PhantomCatClock on June 11, 2020, 12:25:13 PM
I wear a shungite necklace solely because my mom is one of those aged hippies who's scared of wi-fi rays and I don't want her to see me not wearing it because then I'll get a goddamn earful but if anyone asks I say MM IT COOL RUSSIAN ROCK

But you didn't get COVID from the cell towers, did you? So you can't prove mom is wrong.

your new user pic is dope my man

Clocktopus

so my fwb wants to peg me tomorrow night

im a little nervous because she said no lube cause she wants to hear me "scream like a filthy pig"

anybody been through a similar experience? any tips?

pop-tart


VCRClock

Quote from: Clocktopus on June 11, 2020, 08:13:16 PM
so my fwb wants to peg me tomorrow night

im a little nervous because she said no lube cause she wants to hear me "scream like a filthy pig"

anybody been through a similar experience? any tips?

your friend is wrong. definitely use lube cuz your ass is designed for one way traffic and you don't want to tear something. you're gonna scream like a filthy pig anyway
<Marlin Clock> This thread seems proof positive that divisiveness at any level is usually bad for the Clock Crew.
<PhantomCatClock> are we talking about the same clock crew

PhantomCatClock

Quote from: VCRClock on June 11, 2020, 10:46:19 PM
definitely use lube

Your ass is gonna bleed anyway (not a dominatrix threat, just them's the brakes)

Slurpee

haha butt stuff



LOL

GreyClock

I wouldn't have pegged you guys as experts.

Marlin Clock

You could always just... not do that?
Speaking from the minority viewpoint I suppose.

PhantomCatClock

don't be gross, marlin