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What's the first sentence of your novel?

Farted by Topcatyo, November 01, 2009, 08:57:25 AM

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Topcatyo

Many readers maker their first impression of what your novel will be like within the first sentence, if they aren't too impatient to get past the first three words.

So, post your attention-grabbing first sentence of your novel.

QuoteThere was a rather charming fellow I met during my brief stint in prison for charges I will not specify but did include the words "serial" and "murderer".

SnakeClock

QuoteThe air was hot in anticipation that night in the enormous stadium, thousands of people gathered to see the unusual new act that had been advertised in the town for weeks.

Sombra

I'm adapting some prose I wrote a while ago to be my first page or so of the story I'm writing, of course I will be extending my final word count by that much so I've still written 50,000 new words.

Anyway my first sentence is just:


"...Fuck."

TapedeckClock

"It was once an octopus that had tentacals weapons and that he loved to go swimming in the ocean with them."
WWWWWWWWWW

PirateClock

Topcatyo that first sentence doesn't read very well at all, and you won't get charged with "serial murder" but rather with multiple homicides. Being the giant douche that i am i would have town that book away after reading that sentence shouting; NO, THAT'S NOT HOW IT GOES! I don't watch CSI for this exact reason.

Snake, i'd leave "in the enormous stadium" out and just go with "The air was hot in anticipation that night, thousands of people gathered to see the unusual new act that had been advertised in the town for weeks."
_pirate_butchcavities (20:29:15): FUCK CLOCKS _pirate_

clockradioclock

You're supposed to get rid of your Inner Editor for NaNoWriMo is what I learned. It can all start making sense in December. I think you're doing more damage than good by pointing out problems.

QuoteEver notice how the king of hearts always has a sword stuck through his head, done by his own hand?
[SIGPIC]dance with me[/SIGPIC]

PirateClock

Well i am an editor for advertisement, printed, TV, Internet and radio. Not a writer.

Also if I'm not allowed to point out problems than what's the fucking point of posting lines? Am i suppose to go "wow, you guys are terrific writers" ?  Cause i can do that if you want. I have no problem with lying, at all.
_pirate_butchcavities (20:29:15): FUCK CLOCKS _pirate_

Sombra

You can certainly tell me when you see something you don't like in my writing. I'd always like to improve upon what I'm doing even though it kind of strays from the point of NaNo.

Reindeer

Quote[FONT="]The sound of wood shattering could be heard from downstairs. [/FONT]

clockradioclock

Quote from: ☠PirateClock☠;1686968Well i am an editor for advertisement, printed, TV, Internet and radio. Not a writer.

Also if I'm not allowed to point out problems than what's the fucking point of posting lines? Am i suppose to go "wow, you guys are terrific writers" ?  Cause i can do that if you want. I have no problem with lying, at all.

No, you don't need to lie at all. The point of NaNoWriMo isn't about writing a masterpiece, it's about writing so many words in such a small amount of time. It's obvious that most of these books will suck, including mine.

To be honest, I have no idea what the point is in posting first lines. I'm just doing it for the sake of procrastination.
[SIGPIC]dance with me[/SIGPIC]

Topcatyo

Quote from: ☠PirateClock☠;1686964Topcatyo that first sentence doesn't read very well at all, and you won't get charged with "serial murder" but rather with multiple homicides. Being the giant douche that i am i would have town that book away after reading that sentence shouting; NO, THAT'S NOT HOW IT GOES! I don't watch CSI for this exact reason.
Ah, thanks for the advice.  I'll change that right away.

EDIT::
While yes, we aren't supposed to go through and rewrite the book until after NaNoWriMo has ended (to maximize on time), it's not really a problem if Dwarfinator critiques one sentence.

Reindeer


TabascoClock

QuoteEver taken a road trip, then told everyone that it was the craziest and wildest experience you've ever had?

Wind-up Clock

QuoteAlexander Vladimir Skyboomer was one of the most perfect people you could ever meet
.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

Faygo

Well, this is an awkward sentence.
QuoteIf a friend was a zombie, would you kill them?

PirateClock

_pirate_butchcavities (20:29:15): FUCK CLOCKS _pirate_

Faygo

Quote from: ☠PirateClock☠;1694421him/her

a.k.a them.

PirateClock

_pirate_butchcavities (20:29:15): FUCK CLOCKS _pirate_

GearBoxClock


Faygo

Quote from: ☠PirateClock☠;1694426they

it