Clock Crew

When I was very little I thought Ozzy Ozbourne and Howard Stern were the same person. I also thought you impregnated girls by peeing in them.

I used to think babies got pooped out.

I used to think concentration fields, like Auschwitz, were places where people concentrate(as in think)in order to achieve good ideas.

Boy, was I wrong.

i thought my bladder was my balls

Quote from: FloundermanClock;1468560When I was very little I thought Ozzy Ozbourne and Howard Stern were the same person. I also thought you impregnated girls by peeing in them.

Similarly I could not differentiate between Hitler and Saddam Hussein. I just knew they were both "bad guys" and to me they looked very similar, especially the mustaches.

I used to think the "beep" at crosswalks when the "walk" sign turns on was so blind drivers knew when to go.

I thought testicles where orange seeds.

I thought money grew on trees.
 
I wish.

Santa was real

I was the most popular person in the world

CDi cutscenes were amazing because they filled the screen, had voices, and were on a cd!

Mum was happy

Quote from: garfeild;1468580i thought my bladder was my balls

I thought your kidneys were where your pee was.

I thought that I'd have an erection 24/7 through puberty.
wasn't far off on that one.

I also thought that if I fapped once that I'd use up all the sperm in my body, so for a while I didn't.

Quote from: DiscoBallClock;1468567I used to think concentration fields, like Auschwitz, were places where people concentrate(as in think)in order to achieve good ideas.

Boy, was I wrong.

Ha, that's an excellent concept. I'd like to go to one of those.

I didn't know your body could actually make new blood, so everytime I fell I was worried that I was one small step closer to death.

I thought all the clouds in the sky were made by jets.

Quote from: FloundermanClock;1468616I thought your kidneys were where your pee was.

This

Quote from: HeinekenClock;1468620I didn't know your body could actually make new blood, so everytime I fell I was worried that I was one small step closer to death.

I thought this too, so I'd suck on all my cuts.

Quote from: SnakeClock;1468621I thought all the clouds in the sky were made by jets.

same here

I also remember my brother used to think that pubic hair grew across your entire pelvis.

I thought the vagina was located on the lower belly of the woman instead of between the legs.

Quote from: Franklin G. Hamilton;1468625you're pretentious enough of a douchebag for me to read this and not be surprised at all

Hey guys Triangle found a new buddy :D

Quote from: Wind-up Clock;1468626I thought the vagina was located on the lower belly of the woman instead of between the legs.

I thought they peed out of the same place they gave birth.

Quote from: LeekClock;1468619Ha, that's an excellent concept. I'd like to go to one of those.

Yeah, I remember aspiring going to one when I grew up. I recall even telling my mom, "Hey mom, when I grow up, I wanna go to a concentration field!"

I thought vagina was "bajina", and that women's vaginas turned left-to-right instead of up-to-down once they grew up.

I thought fish could survive through being flushed into the sewers completely unscathed.

I used to think I could just make up words for anything and people would know what I was talking about. I still like to make up words in my own head.

i used to think that i had a future.


i was a dumbass

I didn't have any... I feel so left out

didn't believe in santa, didn't believe in the easter bunny, my parents never lied to me about anything.

Quote from: Bill-Drill;1468704i used to think that i had a future.


i was a dumbass

I didn't know what a "future" was until I saw Back to the Future when I was 8. In that scene where Marty and George move in sync in the café, I asked my mother "Is that guy his future?"

when I was seventeen

I always thought subtle meant the opposite of what it means.

Whenever my sister and I would find an "original" box of something we'd misread it as "origanal" and we thought that was some sort of flavoring.

I thought I had some mutant mushroom dick.
Then I learned about circumcision.

i didnt know what the word "boner" meant.
i guess thats not really a misconception, just misinformation.

Quote from: ZybourneClock;1468716Whenever my sister and I would find an "original" box of something we'd misread it as "origanal" and we thought that was some sort of flavoring.

lmao thats fucking I'm a edgy teen

Quote from: FloundermanClock;1468616I thought your kidneys were where your pee was.

Not entirely untrue.

Quote from: FloundermanClock;1468629I thought they peed out of the same place they gave birth.

If you never knew any better, it makes sense seeing how guys work.
Your child form was actually pretty logical.

I, myself, have very little memories of my childhood for some reason, so I can't remember what ridiculous things I thought.

Quote from: Loki Klokka;1468647I thought vagina was "bajina", and that women's vaginas turned left-to-right instead of up-to-down once they grew up.

thats just plain fucked up

I used to think that gender was based on hair length.
But if I came across a boy with long hair I would think of them as a girl boy and if I came across a girl with short hair then they'd be a boy girl.

Quote from: The $10,000 Spider;1468742I thought I had some mutant mushroom dick.
Then I learned about circumcision.

I used to think that the small folds of skin on the insides of my cheeks were developing into gills, since I loved to swim.

EDIT: I also thought it was acceptable for people to show their genitals in public restrooms, but not their butts.

Quote from: RubiksClock;1468684I thought fish could survive through being flushed into the sewers completely unscathed.

You were a kid when Finding Nemo came out? :p

I used to wonder whether black people's melanin somehow affected their sense of touch and caused them to feel things differently from white people. Similarly, I thought eye colour affected how people saw colours.

Come to think of it I thought something was wrong with my penis because the head wasn't a perfect dome shape.

Quote from: Joey 20358;1468746i didnt know what the word "boner" meant.
i guess thats not really a misconception, just misinformation.

I called it an erection until 6th grade, then my friend made a lego tower and called it "The Eiffel Boner" and he told me what it meant.

Quote from: Franklin G. Hamilton;1468807please highlight the part where i was angry

Quote from: FloundermanClock;1468853

Quote from: Franklin G. Hamilton;1468807please highlight the part where i was angry

:D

I thought that gravity was just a big powerful kind of magnetism, and that if I covered myself in magnetic shielding I would be able to fly.

For the record, no. It doesn't. You just look like a kid covered in tinfoil. And your mom gets angry for using it all. And your dad laughs his ass off.

Quote from: Blue;1468905I thought that gravity was just a big powerful kind of magnetism, and that if I covered myself in magnetic shielding I would be able to fly.

For the record, no. It doesn't. You just look like a kid covered in tinfoil. And your mom gets angry for using it all. And your dad laughs his ass off.

Sounds like you had a lovely childhood.

Eh, the only thing I can think of is that when I was a kid, I was staunchly opposed to the idea that dinosaurs turned into birds.

Not much is left to wonder about science and anatomy when you have a nurse and an engineer as parents.

Quote from: SnakeClock;1468908Sounds like you had a lovely childhood.

Made me laugh.

Quote from: Marlin Clock;1468909Eh, the only thing I can think of is that when I was a kid, I was staunchly opposed to the idea that dinosaurs turned into birds.

You still are. ;)

How so?

This is bringing me back to the idea that it's strange how badly I remember my past.
Seriously, I can only remember certain days. out of an entire year.

I also believed...

...that the phone number in a magazine for a "Batman" ad was his real phone number. Age 5. I cut it out, and kept it with me at all times in case I needed him.

...that duplo blocks would be sufficient for grounding a circuit... Age 5. My first electrical fire.

....that I could harvest the powder from firecrackers to make a bomb. Age 7. My sister put real crackers in my mix to "help" and I got pissed. She survived. Only a quick flash, no bang.

...that I could make my own tv station with an Apple 2C a VCR and lots of wire. Age 10. For the record, it took 2 miles of wire wrapped around the rafters of our house, and I could only barely get the signal next door, and just enough to read.

Quote from: Blue;1468905I thought that gravity was just a big powerful kind of magnetism, and that if I covered myself in magnetic shielding I would be able to fly.

For the record, no. It doesn't. You just look like a kid covered in tinfoil. And your mom gets angry for using it all. And your dad laughs his ass off.

you were always a scientist, lol

Quote from: Blue;1468916I also believed...

...that the phone number in a magazine for a "Batman" ad was his real phone number. Age 5. I cut it out, and kept it with me at all times in case I needed him.

...that duplo blocks would be sufficient for grounding a circuit... Age 5. My first electrical fire.

....that I could harvest the powder from firecrackers to make a bomb. Age 7. My sister put real crackers in my mix to "help" and I got pissed. She survived. Only a quick flash, no bang.

...that I could make my own tv station with an Apple 2C a VCR and lots of wire. Age 10. For the record, it took 2 miles of wire wrapped around the rafters of our house, and I could only barely get the signal next door, and just enough to read.

you were a funny kid.


the only wacky thing I did as a kid, was when I was really little, and I had wood blocks, and I made units with them, and I would only build things with those units, like tetris pieces.

Oye, you're some Edison, Blue. I never tried to screw with stuff when I was a kid.

also, my parents wanted me to believe in santa, but even as a little itty bitty kid, I knew santa didn't exist.

there are soo many. I also believed...

...that capacitors wrapped in paper would become firecrackers. Age 5. No, they don't do shit, but my friend said they worked so I kept making them and bringing them to school.

...that I could gain physical energy by putting electrical current into my body with needles and wire. Age 7 I think. I had one hell of a headache.

...that I could build a submersible craft with garden hoze, bricks, and a large plastic trash can, among other things. Age 11. I nearly fucking died, duh.

...that I could jump off a small building with two umbrellas, and survive unscathed. Obviously only one umbrella wasn't enough, so two must be tied to a pole so that they can be pulled directly down and catch the maximum amount of air. Age 12. It hurt, and I had a limp for a while.

Quote from: Blue;1468925there are soo many. I also believed...

...that capacitors wrapped in paper would become firecrackers. Age 5. No, they don't do shit, but my friend said they worked so I kept making them and bringing them to school.

...that I could gain physical energy by putting electrical current into my body with needles and wire. Age 7 I think. I had one hell of a headache.

...that I could build a submersible craft with garden hoze, bricks, and a large plastic trash can, among other things. Age 11. I nearly fucking died, duh.

...that I could jump off a small building with two umbrellas, and survive unscathed. Obviously only one umbrella wasn't enough, so two must be tied to a pole so that they can be pulled directly down and catch the maximum amount of air. Age 12. It hurt, and I had a limp for a while.

those last two I don't believe.

Quote from: Bill Lumbergh;1468927those last two I don't believe.

They sound like something I would of tried.

Quote from: Raleigh St. Clair;1468928The very last one I definitely believe. Lots of kids get hurt thinking they can jump off a building with an umbrella. Thankfully my natural cowardice helped prevent me from being naturally selected.

wow, I was a smart kid.

Quote from: Blue;1468925there are soo many. I also believed...

...that capacitors wrapped in paper would become firecrackers. Age 5. No, they don't do shit, but my friend said they worked so I kept making them and bringing them to school.

...that I could gain physical energy by putting electrical current into my body with needles and wire. Age 7 I think. I had one hell of a headache.

...that I could build a submersible craft with garden hoze, bricks, and a large plastic trash can, among other things. Age 11. I nearly fucking died, duh.

...that I could jump off a small building with two umbrellas, and survive unscathed. Obviously only one umbrella wasn't enough, so two must be tied to a pole so that they can be pulled directly down and catch the maximum amount of air. Age 12. It hurt, and I had a limp for a while.

...When I was your age, I was doodling with Kid Pix and writing stories with SimpleText on some Mac 512s. :p

Quote from: Bill Lumbergh;1468927those last two I don't believe.

I wish I was making this up...

I thought that if I ate enough carrots I could see in perfect darkness. Age 5. No, and your pee doesn't turn orange either :(

I found a round ball of gum in a old pack of marbles. It looked just like a marble, but I chewed it, and it was good. So I believed that once every great while a marble would spontaneously change into chewing gum. I checked my marbles for years after that... Age 4/5.

I believed that if you put electrodes on the root, and added a speaker to the circuit, that you would be able to hear the thoughts of plants. Age 7. No, but you get dirt everywhere, luckily the plant doesn't seem to mind though.

I believed that if I focused an uncovered cathode ray tube at my head, I would be able to put TV images straight into my brain. Age 9. Luckily, I did not have access to one.

I believed that if I dropped a nine-volt battery into the bath tub I would electrocute myself. Age 6. Luckily I was wrong, but I just had to find out.

Good Lord, Blue, how are you still sane/alive?

Blue Clock: For Science!

Quote from: Raleigh St. Clair;1468922You did not notice the wink smiley.

I suspect this to be because Christians don't believe in eyelids.

So that's what that's supposed to be? It's really hard to tell, a clock is a cyclops, so that doesn't really work well.

Quote from: Raleigh St. Clair;1468952It would be, if they didn't include a speech bubble with ;) in it IN THE SMILEY


Edit: didn't realize that was the VB code for ;)

ITT Marlin just learns about the smilies on this board. :fez:

? You can't discern that smiley face for a :) face.

Also I wish I had blue's childhood, one filled with fantastic scientific adventures.

I believed that electricity was alive... Because it felt like something biting me when I stuck my finger in a bulb socket.

I believed that a magnatron could be used in reverse to generate electricity from solar radiation. This was a very dangerous thing, but luckily I did not wire it right.

I believed that if I wired a bunch of nails together, put that in one side of the socket, and then wired a metal pan to the other side of the socket, that I could make the nails dance. Sadly, no it just makes the breakers trip. Damn modern safety compliance.

thats about all I can remember for tonight...lol

Also, Blue, I thought you grew up in Alabama, where'd you get your hands on all this stuff?

Quote from: Marlin Clock;1468961Also, Blue, I thought you grew up in Alabama, where'd you get your hands on all this dingen?

The garage, my grandfathers garage... my uncles... and I always asked to go to radio shack for my birthdays/Christmas...

...that was when radio shack was still cool, and not all about selling cell phones.

Wait a second, how come stuff doesn't censor itself for me?

Also, I could see how your dad would be very amused with you.

Quote from: Marlin Clock;1468966Wait a second, how come dingen doesn't censor itself for me?

Also, I could see how your dad would be very amused with you.

you should see the contraptions he has in his garage... they take up most of the garage... None of them work, but they are amazing to look at :D

Quote from: Blue;1468968you should see the contraptions he has in his garage... they take up most of the garage... None of them work, but they are amazing to look at :D

Christ, Blue, you're a Roald Dahl character come to life.

Quote from: SnakeClock;1468932...When I was your age, I was doodling with Kid Pix and writing stories with SimpleText on some Mac 512s. :p

Me too, only substitute MS Word for SimpleText. Kid Pix was da bomb.

Blue's childhood sounds awesome

Quote from: Blue;1468925...that I could jump off a small building with two umbrellas, and survive unscathed.

BlueClock, solving the mysteries of the today

Blue should work on Mythbusters.
(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg120.imageshack.us%2Fimg120%2F5895%2Fbluebusterfm2.jpg&hash=950ddc179d1b3ee9308c1396f1d2d20fe11c9952)
Side note:
Related searches:kari byron (http://images.google.com/images?gbv=2&hl=en&newwindow=1&safe=off&q=kari+byron&revid=283859937&sa=X&oi=revisions_inline&resnum=0&ct=broad-revision&cd=1)    mythbusters kari (http://images.google.com/images?gbv=2&hl=en&newwindow=1&safe=off&q=mythbusters+kari&revid=283859937&sa=X&oi=revisions_inline&resnum=0&ct=broad-revision&cd=2)    mythbusters kari byron (http://images.google.com/images?gbv=2&hl=en&newwindow=1&safe=off&q=mythbusters+kari+byron&revid=283859937&sa=X&oi=revisions_inline&resnum=0&ct=broad-revision&cd=3)    mythbusters logo (http://images.google.com/images?gbv=2&hl=en&newwindow=1&safe=off&q=mythbusters+logo&revid=283859937&sa=X&oi=revisions_inline&resnum=0&ct=broad-revision&cd=4)

When I was 8 I thought the genitalia just had to rub, insertion never crossed my mind for a second.

Also once on Sinterklaas when I was like 5 (or younger, it was at our old house) I couldn't find any candy anywhere. When I finally looked in my dad's home office and saw it all in the fax machine, I though Sinterklaas had faxed me all the candy.

I told this to everybody at school and my teacher was like "No... no I don't think that can happen". Bitch.

i used to think babies came out the mouth

Quote from: Andy Murray;1469040i used to think babies came out the mouth

Now that's plain I'm a edgy teen.

When I was 4 I used to think 1+1=11, 3+2=32 etc.

There were also more embarrassing things I'd rather not talk about.


















In this topic.

I thought girls had periods and boys had commas...

I thought toy story was possible

I thought the theme from the original law and order was evil for some reason.

I tried cooking toast in my NES....

my idea of santas always watching led me to believe that anything with eyes was how he was spying on me.. Stuffed animals, pictures, etc.

I thought I was an aspiring inventor just because I used to take scotch tape and tape my toys together to make new toys...


....My childhood was weird as hell now that I think about it..

You and your family are too smart to be from Alabama, Blue. Where the fuck y'all from, boy.

I used to think that black people were made black by ritual; I thought that their parents dipped them into a vat of motor oil shortly after birth. I used to hang out with a large group of black people because I thought the reduced friction would increase their agility, and that's awesome. They always agreed with me if that misconception ever came up, because it made sense to them since their color was often explained as "oil in the skin". I held this belief until fourth grade when I learned about melanocytes. I didn't correct any of my friends because I thought knowing things that others didn't gave me an edge.

I thought each video game was a world.

I used to think that the vagina is a ballsack-shaped piece of purple meat that just hanged between the legs.

In Germany there was this toy shop with a printed image of a clown in front.
I thought each fall he would come alive and hunt me.

I was thinking of myself as a child doctor.

I thought I had 3 game show assistant women for whenever I needed them.

I thought I could get stronger if I could hold my hands on a sun heated rail longer and longer.

I thought plastic freezer containers blew up if I dropped them.

I thought "quarter dollars" were dollar coins the size of quarters, and thus that I had 30 dollars.

Quote from: Joey Greco;1469216I thought I could get stronger if I could hold my hands on a sun heated rail longer and longer.

That sounds cool.

I thought if you cut yourself and drank the blood it would go back to the heart and be re-used

I thought whenever someone said something like "my friend broke his arm" the arm bone always broke in half completely

I used to think my life was like The Truman Show

Quote from: Poltergeisty;1469352I thought if you cut yourself and drank the blood it would go back to the heart and be re-used

I thought whenever someone said something like "my friend broke his arm" the arm bone always broke in half completely

I thought broken bones were glued back together with glue that would dry in the body, and that they could never truly fix the break. This logically meant a broken bone was highly prone to re-fraction.

megatron was real, so i always had an "official decepticon" card with me incase i ran into him

sharks could end up swimming up into your toilet

trampolines were just really stretched panty hose (ouch)

uncle fester was my real uncle

I used to think all races are equal

I used to think you could make cakes in a washing machine - which ofc I tried in grandma's new show-home; full box of eggs, whole packet of flour, sugar, butter etc. she wasn't impressed.

The only other thing that springs to mind is that video game characters were real, and it was more like an interactive story - I even wrote a letter to Guybrush Threepwood once, but he never replied. :(

Quote from: Raleigh St. Clair;1469473Separate but equal...?

Shaddap whiteboy!

I used to think pictures stared at me so whenever I was in a room I'd check around for pictures and turn them all around.

I used to think my image in the mirror did stuff while I looked away so I still kinda hate mirrors today

I used to think whatever side of the bed I slept on would make the other side very angry so during the entire night I slept with my face to the ceiling and if accidently looked to either side I would say I'm sorry and look back up.

I used to think you could make babies from just kissing so I was freaked out for a while.

I used to think whenever I got a boner I could piss it out. Speaking of that BOY did I piss a lot.

Thats all I can remember.

I thought the greek gods were real, but disspeared for some reason, then they were replaced by the roman gods. And after that christian god came into power.

Blue is awesome. I would have liked to hang out with him as a kid.

Anyway...

I thought if I would electrocute a battery that it would regain its power.

I thought that I could  charge things with solar panels faster by holding a magnifying glass over then to concentrate the light.

I used to think rocket fuel must just be super compressed gasoline.

I used to think smoke from fires was just solids evaporating. So if you burned wood you'd be breathing in wood.

I used to think plants actually made food out of light. The way teachers always said "Plants make food out of sunlight!" had me confused for years.

I used to think that electricity was molecules/atoms breaking, due to the fact that it isn't a physical object and it always makes cracking noises.

Just like blue, I thought gravity was a form of magnetism that affected all matter instead of just metals.

I thought blue fire was colder than red fire.

Quote from: Joey Greco;1469216I used to think that the vagina is a ballsack-shaped piece of purple meat that just hanged between the legs.

HAHAHAHA What the hell? I'd like to know how you even came to that conclusion!

Quote from: William Murderface;1469537I used to think smoke from fires was just solids evaporating. So if you burned wood you'd be breathing in wood.

you sound like an ancient greek

I blame my mother for my competence in anatomy as a child. I've never thought of this crazy stuff you guys have.

Quote from: William Murderface;1469537I used to think plants actually made food out of light. The way teachers always said "Plants make food out of sunlight!" had me confused for years.

That was something I found interesting when I did an AP Biology class. I always thought it was fairly simple mechanisms that converted water and CO2 into glucose and vice versa, but then I found out photosynthesis and cellular respiration are ridiculously complicated procedures.

Did you guys know that water and CO2 aren't even used in the same reaction in photosynthesis?

I thought the Clock Crew was gay, oh wait. :cool:




Also 1+1 does equal 11, you can see that in this quite complicated diagram: :teach:

i used to think i could be anything when i grew up, like a reindeerm which is what i wanted to be.


also blue's anecdotes are funny though clearly fabricated.

Quote from: peyote;1469591i used to think i could be anything when i grew up, like a reindeerm which is what i wanted to be.

Quote from: peyote;1469591also blue's anecdotes are funny though clearly fabricated.

clearly you have not met me. I'm willing to try anything, once.

Also, I have a friend who's anecdotes are far more crazy... At 8 or 9 I think,  he built a cannon using gasoline, bowling balls, and a metal storm pipe that just happened to be half-buried in the ground at an angle. Apparently he believed this is how all cannons worked...

Quite a story... It's still on his permanent record. The boom was quite loud, and right in the middle of a residential area. This was because he didn't know how much gasoline to use, so he just kept adding to it from all he could steal.

I never did anything that crazy.

When I was a kid I saw a Saturday Night Live sketch about the Moonies and thought it was a news show. I was terrified of them for years.

I believed that pencil leads were made of real lead... so I penciled on the backs of someone's potato chips in an effort to give them lead poisoning and die. First grade.

I also believed that superman's ability to fly came from his cape, and if one were to find just the right kind of cape, one would be able to fly. I remember being 4 and trying every blanket, towel, anything colored red...

I believed that if I put microchips on my head that I would get superhuman brain powers... When it didn't work, I thought I must push the pins in deeper, and I ended up with all sorts of little red dots on my forehead for a while.

I believed that if I used my bike to drive a generator, that I'd be able to create enough power for the whole house... Bearly enough for a lightbulb :(. Age 8.

I believed that any gas would be sufficient for filling the tube of a gas laser. Amazingly, even farting in a jar did not work. The fact that I was trying to power it with 9v batteries didn't help either. Age 9.

I believed that if you put 2 nine volt batteries together, they would eventually heat up to the point of causing a fire, and this could be used as an ignition source for a small bomb. Unfortunately they never caught on fire. Age 10ish.

I believed that if you took a bottle, filled it to nearly the brim with water, closed the lid tightly, and then painted the outside with black paint, that you would have a bomb. Yes, it can explode in sunlight on a hot day, but usually the cap just pops off with a little bang. No huge explosion. No shratenal. Age 12ish. I left a little one in a car by accident, and it DID bust, but that was the only time, and I didn't get to see it happen :(

I believed that lightning could be captured and stored, if you put a big enough capacitor in the line of a lightning rod... I collected capacitors from old plane junk in my uncle's garage, strung them together to make super capacitors to do just that. I could never get it to work obviously, even though I tried a few times from age 9-11ish. I could never get lightning to hit my house/school when I wanted it to.

I also believed it would be awesome to be hit by lightning. My great uncle had been hit by it, nearly killed him, but they say his personality was drastically altered by the brain fryage. I thought that it would be like a family tradition... SO I played/ran in the rain a lot as a child. I learned how to time the distance from strikes by the delay in thunder to lightning. I even made a thing I could plug into the wall-socket to ground myself when there was a storm. I only got a jolt one time, and it was fairly mild... but it scared the shit out of me and I didn't try again. Also, it hurt... and for some reason I never thought about that angle.

Quote from: Salamandyr;1469032When I was 8 I thought the genitalia just had to rub, insertion never crossed my mind for a second.

I also believed this.

I thought that when it was raining God was spitting on us.

When I was 4 I saw the movie Jumanji, and I was convinced that if me and my friends at preschool could dig a deep enough hole in the sandbox that we could dig our way to Jumanji.

When I was 4 I collected rocks thinking they were dinosaur eggs.

I thought it would be really cool to have a movie where they crossed a giant squid with a velociraptor that would destroy cities like Godzilla.

I thought girls grew butts on their chests.

I used to think that if you took off your shirt like the guys in kung-fu movies you would suddenly have bulging muscles and look really cool.

My brother once convinced me that I was actually adopted and that I was an alien and that the mound in our front yard hid the remains of my space pod. I believed this for over a year.

I destroyed several electric pencil sharpeners because I thought that if a sharpened pencil drew better, then surely a sharpened eraser erased better.

I used to think that because my older brother was smart that when talking to kids my own age I was never wrong.

I used to think that vaginas were just miniature butts that girls had in front.

I used to believe that before we were born our souls floated through space, like a little skeleton in angel robes with angel wings and a halo.

I used to think that people could actually dodge bullets.

I spent the better parts of my 8th and 9th years of life trying to contact aliens.

I used to think that the chupacabra was gonna kill me.

I used to think the term 'prostitute' meant a kind of politician.

I used to think animals deserved the right to vote.

I used to think "nazi" was worse than "fuck".

i thought that if you shaved your hair it would never come back.

Quote from: Hello;1469666i thought that if you shaved your hair it would never come back.

Hey, some of my pubic hair took three years to grow back fully after the first time I cut it off. The some of it was the awkward part.

Quote from: The Archduke;1469664I thought girls grew butts on their chests.

That's what you're supposed to think.

I honestly thought the Pizza Man came from heaven. and believed this for quite some time 3~4, and we once saw a pizza man "fall from the sky" when in fact it was some stoner jumping off his roof with a bunch of his friends.
 
I thought girls had cooties that painfully incinerated your skin to the touch and couldn't be extinquished and it kept eating at your skin
 
I thought girls were evil and the "enemy of our boy team" at recess and we would beat the crap outa girls with my friends, then when I started finding girls attractive 5~6 grade i was called a traitor and was extremely confused thinking i was gay for liking chicks
 
I thought cats could fly so I threw mine out the window... it died and to this day i still have no remorse (age 4)
 
thought an iron was a phone when steam shot out so I tried to pick it up from the ironing board and burnt my hand (my left ring, middle, and index fingers) permenantly (age 1) I have no memory of this but thats what I was told by my parents when I asked about it around kindergarden
 
I thought the boogie man was real and was terrified of my room at night so I managed to get the family shotgun and i fired at my closet and under my bed and heard a scream, I thought I killed it, but it was my mother scared out of her mind. I developed a love for firearms (age 5)
 
for years I thought my family shotgun was a golf club due to it being in a case, i remembered this until i was 5, a few days before the shooting i found out it was a gun. resulting in the previous event
 
when I was little I tried making an electromagnet with my toaster, a magnet and 1 bunch of firecrackers, I brought it to school, i caused a fire in the classroom and they thought it was my teacher's cigarette so they fired him
 
I thought my principle was out to get me in elementary school so I would pull pranks and gags to physically injure him, thus him having a personal hatred of me
 
not really mine, but my sisters, when she was little her and her friend roamed the apartments we lived in and there was supposivly a serial killer dressed in a batman costume that kidnapped and ate little kids. they snuck near his window and found skulls in his trashcan and he popped out and chased them with fangs and blood in his mouth wielding a knife. to this day this is unproven.
 
had an idea that I could drive so I stole my dads car and went joy riding barely seeing above the steering wheel, crashed into my neighbors mailbox
 
thought a serial killer murdered cereal. so I put a lock in my pantry
 
always dreamed of being killed by dolls from my attic that tickled me from my armpits. i have a phobia of armpit tickles and dolls
 
stole my grandpas buck knife and gutted my sisters dolls
 
i thought that my state i lived in (california) was the only place in the world with people, the rest was forest
 
I thought the aliens and bigfoot, even the lochness monster were out to get me
 
tried flying with a red blanket as a cape, jumped out of my apartment ( a 4  story apartment when I was 6.) and landed in a tree, then fell into a bush and crashed into the sandbox. I enjoyed it. and did it again, landed in the public pool
 
thought a monster would come out of the toliet if you looked at it flush and heard the sound.
 
when I was 12, I shot my first arrow from a bow into the air in  random direction and it flew into a nearby neighborhood. we heard a scream, and that night in the local news a man was reportedly "shot in the arm by a stray arrow"
 
thought a fart was a burp, and a burp was a fart
 
had fantasies of living in a video game and playing as the character crash in Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped in Time and ran around outside
 
confused bagels with donuts, cupcakes with muffins, and condoms as balloons
 
took down a 6th grader when I was in 1st grade, he called me names and I retaliated
 
thats all I remember so far, ima sleep now, might post more

My friend's Dad thought that characters who died in movies were actually dying for the role, and he would think "Wow that person has a lot of devotion to their job"

Knife, you're a destructive retard.

Quote from: eeem peeeeem;1469689My friend's Dad thought that characters who died in movies were actually dying for the role, and he would think "Wow that person has a lot of devotion to their job"

That's not really a childhood misconception of yours then, is it?

Quote from: SnakeClock;1469691Knife, you're a destructive retard.

That's not really a childhood misconception of yours then, is it?

I used to think the same thing as a child though... For years I though on occasion if someone was going to die, they'd film it and use it in a movie. Why not, I thought?

Quote from: Blue;1469700I used to think the same thing as a child though... For years I though on occasion if someone was going to die, they'd film it and use it in a movie. Why not, I thought?

Did you think you could change it by wiring a VCR to a toaster and a power transformer? Because that would be awesome.

Quote from: SnakeClock;1469691Knife, you're a destructive retard.

Well, letting a shotgun within a kids reach, and an iron within a 1 year olds reach you can imagine how he was brought up.
But my guess is he's just lying.

Quote from: Obroxious Groovebag;1469705Well, letting a shotgun within a kids reach, and an iron within a 1 year olds reach you can imagine how he was brought up.
But my guess is he's just lying.

'K then he's just a retard.

Quote from: SnakeClock;1469702Did you think you could change it by wiring a VCR to a toaster and a power transformer? Because that would be awesome.

no, but I believed that humanity and all life on earth had all existed and been wiped out before by wars or natural disasters... At 5 I hypothesized that we were on the 5th iteration of life on earth. I believed that one day we would find evidence of the previous races of humanity on earth among fossils deeper than the dinosaurs.

At one point, at 7 years old, I believed that we were all not actually here on earth, but all plugged into some sort of computer. And everything we saw was just a big video game. And the real world outside was totally different to what we thought. I tried on numerous occasions to concentrate hard enough to see through the illusion.

(And yea, I realize these both sound familiar to the Matrix, which is why I went ape shit for that trilogy)

At age 5, all of my friends thought I was really weird, and told me so. Logically I came to the conclusion that I was in fact a robot, and the only one of my kind. I often made robot noises when eating or walking, but just loud enough for one other person to hear at a time. This further made the other kids think I was weird, which in turn fueled the delusion.

I believed that the Popeye cartoons were, based on some fact, and that spinach had some sort of special magical ingredient that would make you stronger. I learned to love it, and still do to this day.

I believed that blood and rust were very similar. And that boats with rust on them were slowly bleeding to death. I was probably 4.

...edit:

I had a terrible phobia of aliens as a child. Nothing in the world was more horrifying than the greys to me. I could not explain WHY I was so terrified of any pictures, video or anything with these creatures in them. So at age 8 I started believing that I had been abducted by aliens, because that fear must have come from somewhere. This resulted in a series of nightmares and night terrors that intensified and built on top of the delusion and phobia. I didn't break the phobia till my late teens, and still feel uneasy about greys. Not the friendly "Close Encounters" kind, but the silent, standing outside your window, staring-into-your-mind-with-evil-intent kind.

I believed for 5 years that my mother was 40.

Seriously, I knew penis goes into vagina by like age 9. I feel gypped of a clueless childhood.

Quote from: Knife Clock;1469686bullshit

Now this, this is all lies. The shotgun story was the smoking gun.

Quote from: Hamsamustafa;1469718I believed for 5 years that my mother was 40.

For the longest time I couldn't remember my mom's real age either.

Quote from: Marlin Clock;1469723For the longest time I couldn't remember my mom's real age either.

I can only remember my own familliemembers age without a doubt, and I don't know when their birtdays are, and as for my own birthday, I have to concentrate in order to prevent myself from getting it wrong.

Quote from: Marlin Clock;1469723Now this, this is all lies. The shotgun story was the smoking gun.

And how does a kid know how to install a lock on a pantry?

Quote from: Marlin Clock;1469723Seriously, I knew penis goes into vagina by like age 9. I feel gypped of a clueless childhood.

...For the longest time I couldn't remember my mom's real age either.

I figured the penis and vagina relation at a very very young age. I was 4... and my parents still bathed me and my sister together. I figured they worked like puzzle pieces. But I had no idea why at the time. I figured it was just a convenience... so that people could be stacked together.

I believed my father was an idiot, for not marrying a super-model or one of the ladies from Miss America. I assumed one could simply choose from any of the opposite sex, and as a result I had rather high confidence that followed me for years before I discovered that not all girls would like me. Until then I had numerous girlfriends, I had 5 in first grade alone (at the same time :o).

Quote from: SnakeClock;1469727And how does a kid know how to install a lock on a pantry?

Rather, why does a 6 year old kid have an apartmend and decide to jump out twice, and land in the public pool on the second try?

Quote from: Obroxious Groovebag;1469731Rather, why does a 6 year old kid have an apartmend and decide to jump out twice, and land in the public pool on the second try?

At 9 I used to wear jeans and a long-sleeved shirt so that I could practice falling out of trees... I believed this would help me be like a ninja, and able to take great falls...  I don't know why but I found it fun, to climb up a tree as high as I could go and let go. As I fell I'd grab everything I could, and try to slow my descent. I'd get lots of bruises and scratched up pretty bad, but no major damage.

I only did this with "soft" trees like evergreens or trees with lots of small limbs, and I'd only climb about 20ft up. But still, pretty damn stupid.

Quote from: Blue;1469715I had a terrible phobia of aliens as a child. Nothing in the world was more horrifying than the greys to me. I could not explain WHY I was so terrified of any pictures, video or anything with these creatures in them. So at age 8 I started believing that I had been abducted by aliens, because that fear must have come from somewhere. This resulted in a series of nightmares and night terrors that intensified and built on top of the delusion and phobia. I didn't break the phobia till my late teens, and still feel uneasy about greys. Not the friendly "Close Encounters" kind, but the silent, standing outside your window, staring-into-your-mind-with-evil-intent kind.

:hi5:

Quote from: Blue;1469735At 9 I used to wear jeans and a long-sleeved shirt so that I could practice falling out of trees... I believed this would help me be like a ninja, and able to take great falls...  I don't know why but I found it fun, to climb up a tree as high as I could go and let go. As I fell I'd grab everything I could, and try to slow my descent. I'd get lots of bruises and scratched up pretty bad, but no major damage.

I only did this with "soft" trees like evergreens or trees with lots of small limbs, and I'd only climb about 20ft up. But still, pretty damn stupid.

You make me want to write a biography on your life, Blue. It sounds more whimsical and compelling than any fiction.

Quote from: SnakeClock;1469742You make me want to write an autobiography on your life, Blue. It sounds more whimsical and compelling than any fiction.

I think he's saying he wants to be you, Blue.

Quote from: SnakeClock;1469742You make me want to write an autobiography on your life, Blue. It sounds more whimsical and compelling than any fiction.

Funny thing is, I'd forgotten about all this shit till this thread came up. I have really clear memories of most of my childhood though, even the really early years... Can't for the life of me remember yesterday though.

Snake wants to write an autobiography of Blue's life.

Am I the only one who caught that?

Quote from: The Archduke;1469748Snake wants to write an autobiography of Blue's life.

Am I the only one who caught that?

no... but until I was 9 I thought an autobiography was a book that wrote itself.

Quote from: Blue;1469750no... but until I was 9 I thought an autobiography was a book that wrote itself.

That is fucking awsome.

When I was little I watched a little too much Ren and Stimpy and I thought you were supposed to eat cat litter, so I did. Thankfully there was no cat crap in it.

Quote from: The Archduke;1469748Snake wants to write an autobiography of Blue's life.

Am I the only one who caught that?

I'm sorry, it's late and I'm tired. Maybe I meant I'd write it in first-person perspective; that's probably the only way it would be interesting.

Quote from: The Archduke;1469752That is fucking awsome.

Or maybe it was a Freudian slip that I'd like a childhood as interesting as Blue's. :p

Quote from: Blue;1469750no... but until I was 9 I thought an autobiography was a book that wrote itself.

That would be an "autobiblio". ;)

Quote from: SnakeClock;1469757Or maybe it was a Freudian slip that I'd like a childhood as interesting as Blue's. :p

That's what I was suggesting.

Quote from: The Archduke;1469762That's what I was suggesting.

Then we're both on the same page. :)

I had no fucking idea what the numbers meant out the front of petrol (gas) stations. Does a tank cost .83? Finally figured it out when I was like, I dunno, 15.

I noticed that every time my parents paid with cash, they got change back. I assumed this was how it was always supposed to work. One day at the grocer my dad paid in exact change... I stopped him and said (quite loudly) "Hey, she didn't give you change!".

She blinked wide eyed, and dad laughed at me. "they don't have to, I paid exactly what it cost". I had never been more humiliated, and I felt totally stupid for speaking up... I was probably 5.

Quote from: Blue;1469783I noticed that every time my parents paid with cash, they got change back. I assumed this was how it was always supposed to work. One day at the grocer my dad paid in exact change... I stopped him and said (quite loudly) "Hey, she didn't give you change!".

She blinked wide eyed, and dad laughed at me. "they don't have to, I paid exactly what it cost". I had never been more humiliated, and I felt totally stupid for speaking up... I was probably 5.

That happenned to me at the school canteen when I was in kindergarden!
I felt like such a fool then.

Although I remember once I saw in a cartoon(warners bros I think) someone touch the sky. after seeing that I ran outside and tried to reach for the sky, I jumped as high as I could with my arms out stretched. I was rather disapointed but I believed that when I got older I would get as tall as my dad(who is pretty tall) and I'd be able to reach the sky then.

This one is however not mine but of my younger cousins, though I think I was under the impression it was true once.
The day before my little cousins 5th birthday, he said that he would very tall over night and thus would be taller then me. But he would not be as tall as his older brother.

I also at one point thought that I could out age my brother. For my birthday was before his and I thought I would end up getting older and older until he was the younger one.

Once in kindergarden or first grade I attempted to see if I was the only real person alive. What with it all being an illusion I must be able to control other people. So I stood there for quite some time trying to control other people and see it all in 3rd person.
Couldn't seem to get it right.

You're all I'm a edgy teen. That's what I think.

Quote from: SilverClock;1469847You're all I'm a edgy teen. That's what I think.

Thanks for not having any childhood misconceptions :(

While you guys were out shooting closets with shotguns, I was playing with G.I. Joes.

that shotgun story is too possible to be made up, just so you know and it wasnt those code locks, just the masterlock ones, you only open it with a key. life was great

Quote from: SilverClock;1469855While you guys were out shooting closets with shotguns, I was playing with G.I. Joes.

G.I. Joes are not cool and they never were. There's your misconception.

I thought that girls had penises too. And then I thought they didn't have anything down there.


EDIT: I also had no idea what "breasts" were, or anything of the sort. Some kid put building blocks on his nipples and said he had "Teddies", which I assume now was "Titties". I didn't even noticed they existed.

I also believed that there was life before you were born, so I would tell my mom of stories that happened before I was born. I was some little shit...

hmm I believed in sinterklaas.

That's it I guess.

Quote from: Marlin Clock;1469723Seriously, I knew penis goes into vagina by like age 9.

Whaaaaat

Over here kids like 3 years old know what sex is and sort of how it works, my little niece who can barely talk knows babies come from between your legs.

I once ran around a man who had a turban asking him if he'd hurt his head.

I used to think everything was already invented. and i mean EVERYTHING!

Quote from: HeinekenClock;1469952Whaaaaat

Over here kids like 3 years old know what sex is and sort of how it works, my little niece who can barely talk knows babies come from between your legs.

Yeah guys there are Kindergardeners who read Penthouses and do it during nap time. I can't believe there are such old kids who don't even know what sex is.

Quote from: Franklin G. Hamilton;1469970you guys are all confusing IGNORANCE with INTERESTING

For a while I believed "ignorance" was what you had when people didn't pay you enough attention.

TriangleClock was never a child.

I used to think TriangleClock was funny. ~3 months ago.

Now he's only sort of funny.

TriangleClock never learned anything through experimentation in his childhood, he already knew everything.

When I was a youngster, I drunk wine and listened to chopin like triangle clock here. no hilariously cute misadventures for us, oh no! We were busy discussing the complexities of the modern world. oh to be 9 again!

Quote from: Blue;1469729I figured the penis and vagina relation at a very very young age. I was 4... and my parents still bathed me and my sister together. I figured they worked like puzzle pieces. But I had no idea why at the time. I figured it was just a convenience... so that people could be stacked together.

All I have are brothers. I don't have any conscious memories of the times where my mom would still bathe us together, anyway. It was when I was really little.
There are few memories I keep from the time before I was five:

1. I got the chicken pox in pre-school and my mom used me as an Indian blanket so my brothers would get it too.
2. Other small, vague memories of that pre-school.
3.For one of my birthdays, I was given a model shark jaw to put in my aquarium. I had many fish named Tim and they did not last long.
4. My first nightmare and earliest memory was when the old school desk in my room came alive and tried to kill me. Still in cradle, age 2?

Quote from: HeinekenClock;1469952Whaaaaat

Over here kids like 3 years old know what sex is and sort of how it works, my little niece who can barely talk knows babies come from between your legs.

Now that's what deserves a what. Why and how do they learn that? I don't think that's something a child should learn until they were my age. Puberty education didn't roll around 'till 5th grade and I only learned before that by reading an anatomy book on the different body systems that had detailed pictures.

unfortunately marlin was reading an article about homosexual relationships

When I was little, like 5, I watched a porno, so I knew all that.

Quote from: ToyotaClock;1470167unfortunately marlin was reading an article about homosexual relationships

It was an anatomy book. I even said that in the post.

Something you'd like to tell us about your childhood, Toyota?

My mom told me that mousetraps are to keep the mouse pinned down so that you release it outside the next day.

:(

Quote from: Marlin Clock;1470171It was an anatomy book. I even said that in the post.

Something you'd like to tell us about your childhood, Toyota?

you know i love you marlin

Quote from: Bill Nye the Science Guy;1470174My mom told me that mousetraps are to keep the mouse pinned down so that you release it outside the next day.

:(

its true... but you release them into the trash can.... They sleep until the garbage man frees them into the dump, where all mice like to live.

Quote from: Bill Nye the Science Guy;1470174My mom told me that mousetraps are to keep the mouse pinned down so that you release it outside the next day.

:(

hahaha I'm telling my kid this

I have had many of the same experiences as Blue, actually. I blame Calvin And Hobbes.

One of my favorites was when a friend of mine and I decided that an underground club house would be the bomb, so we spent like all summer digging this tunnel into a hill side. Once it was a formidable cave, we ran extension cords from the house to the cave in order to power a lamp and a radio. One day left our radio on over night by accident, and when we went to our cave and it had like 3 snakes in it, so we concluded that snakes like the same kind of music as people. At this point, we accepted that our cave was lost to snakes forever, so we jammed a fuck ton of fire crackers into the dirt surrounding the opening  and tied all the fuses together, in hopes of destroying our cave forever. It accomplished little more than to create alot of dust, but it did cause the snakes to leave, so at least we had our cave back (sans radio, as we didn't want any more snakes). Around this time our parents found out what we were doing and made us stop. The cave later collapsed.

It was a good summer.

While I was learning english, I had trouble saying 'Animals. I would say Aminals constantly.

Quote from: BluezombieClock;1470248While I was learning english, I had trouble saying 'Animals. I would say Aminals constantly.

I couldn't pronounce Th sounds right. Instead of the, then, or they, I'd say da den and dey.

Quote from: FloundermanClock;1470251I couldn't pronounce Th sounds right. Instead of the, then, or they, I'd say da den and dey.

Dat ain't an inflection. Dat's a Chicago accent, my friend.

Quote from: Marlin Clock;1470257Dat ain't an inflection. Dat's a Chicago accent, my friend.

Chicagoans are so proud that their phonetic development stopped at age six. _poogle_

Ah, but I kid, I'm sure it's a fine city.

flapping your arms about does not make you fly ]:

My father told me a story of how he believed he could fly as a young kid, if only he
had some wings. He was bugging his mom so much, that she ordered his brother to go out and build him some wings. My dad's brother (my uncle) was a few years older, and was not pleased about this. But he built my dad some fairly awful wooden wings from thin board and rope... My dad ran and ran, but couldn't get off the ground. My uncle, amused by this, said "you have to flap your wings harder". So he did... He flapped for all his worth, built up a sweat but still couldn't fly. "Maybe you should run and jump off the edge of the porch" he suggested. The porch edge had a 5 foot drop, but my dad thought it was a good idea, and so he tried... And failed. "Wow, you were so close. Maybe if you got up a bit higher, I'm sure it'll work" my uncle said. To make a long story slightly shorter, my father jumped off the roof with wooden wings. Did not fly, but in fact fell quite hard, but was ok.

My uncle chuckles about it to this day, thought it was the funniest thing in the world.

When I was like 9, I thought that I was secretly a huge, muscular blue alien with long hair, glowing eyes, green laser Wolverine-style claws, and the ability to morph into the guise of a human, and that my mom had adopted me and raised me as a human child. I actually had memories of myself being discovered by my mother, although, come to think of it, these were in the third person.

When I was in 4th grade I got this notion in my head that people could see what I was thinking when they looked at me, so I spent a great deal of time trying not to think about naked women.

When I was about 5 we had this one video store that we always rented movies from about every other friday. One day I wandered into the porno section and was greatly amused by the fact that I could see peoples' butts. My dad caught me in there and told me he didn't want me to go in there anymore. Every time we went after that I would sneak into the porn section to giggle at peoples' butts. After a few weeks he stopped bringing me. I miss those days :(

I was scared to eat gushers because I didn't want my head to turn into a fruit.  That's all I can think of.

When I was very, very young, I thought the Backstreet Boys were the coolest people in the world.

I saw the original jaws... I was way too young. I believed sharks could get you anywhere that there was water, lakes, rivers, anywhere deep enough... Also, for some reason I believed their top fin was razor sharp, and designed to cut through the bottom of boats.

Quote from: Blue;1470459I saw the original jaws... I was way too young. I believed sharks could get you anywhere that there was water, lakes, rivers, anywhere deep enough... Also, for some reason I believed their top fin was razor sharp, and designed to cut through the bottom of boats.

The same thing happened to me, but with Mars Attacks!

I used to believe that turned the corner too slowly to get into my bathroom, Jabba the Hut would appear from behind the door and eat me. Only at night though.

My sister believed that Snuggles lived in each box of detergent, and would go into crying fits when he wasn't.

Quote from: BluezombieClock;1470248While I was learning english, I had trouble saying 'Animals. I would say Aminals constantly.

I used to say Burber King. People laughed at me and I didn't even know why. I later differentiated the G and B sounds.

When I was four, I had the definitions of foreheads and headaches switched around. I could read, though, so that was cool.

Quote from: The Archduke;1470463I used to believe that turned the corner too slowly to get into my bathroom, Jabba the Hut would appear from behind the door and eat me. Only at night though.

I believed something similar, but it was usually a different person each time, like Aunt Petunia from Harry Potter.

Quote from: PeanutButterClock;1470449I was scared to eat gushers because I didn't want my head to turn into a fruit.  That's all I can think of.

hahaha me too

Quote from: SnakeClock;1470488I believed something similar, but it was usually a different person each time, like Aunt Petunia from Harry Potter.

I was always afraid a vampire, deranged Jason-type murderer, or some sort of crazy alien monster would be hiding behind the door of any room that I walked into, unless there were other people in the room who would be able to see it. I hid that fear, though.

I used to think that the character Animal from the Muppet Show was the chosen form of the devil.

Quote from: Solenoidclock;1470501I used to think that the character Animal from the Muppet Show was the chosen form of the devil.

Haha that's awesome.

Oh, yeah. I used to have a crippling fear of chairs when it was dark out. It's based on the desk nightmare and another nightmare where chairs attacked me.
Furnature hates me.

It's still hard for me to be downstairs with the lights off after I turn off the TV and go to bed.

i used to think that whenever i would go up stairs some monster would come to the bottom nd start chasing me so i would always dash up the stairs as fast as i could.

hallways in apartment buildings too...

that's about it.

When I was little, when I laid on my side, I could hear what I thought was footsteps. I thought it was monsters going up my stairs. I later figured out it was just my heartbeat.

I used to read calvin and hobbes, and wished that I could delude myself like that

I wasn't stupid enough to believe anything

I guess I was never stupid enough to do anything exciting...

Quote from: RomanClock;1470532I guess I was never stupid enough to do anything exciting...

tell us some stories about being creationist and going to church!

also, really sneaky roman.

Quote from: Bill Lumbergh;1470533tell us some stories about being creationist and going to church!

also, really sneaky roman.

Wow, you're a jerk. I guess you've been like that forever.
Also I was going to repost it on the next page.

Quote from: RomanClock;1470534Wow, you're a jerk.

I do my best. :D

Quote from: Bill Lumbergh;1470536I do my best. :D

Its suspicious how you reply within second of my last post, in both instances.

Quote from: RomanClock;1470538Its suspicious how you reply within second of my last post, in both instances.

that was actually pure coincidence, I was on the front page and saw you posted.

Quote from: Bill Lumbergh;1470539that was actually pure coincidence, I was on the front page and saw you posted.

:shifty:

I guess there are actually 2 things:
I once stapled my finger just to see what would happen.
And I hung up the phone on someone thinking the machine would record his message.
Yea, boring.

Quote from: RomanClock;1470543I once stapled my finger just to see what would happen.
And I hung up the phone on someone thinking the machine would record his message.
Yea, boring.

that's a good start, got a giggle out of it.

I wanted to make my  head turn into a giant strawberry so i only ate specific gushers.

I believed that the US was the only country and the world and every other country was a part of it.

I used to think pokemon were real, and I'd go out every summer searching for them.

I used to think coffee was a disgusting drink. LOL ISNT THAT FUNNY

Play-doh was cuisine.

Quote from: ScrewdriverClock;1470558I wanted to make my  head turn into a giant strawberry so i only ate specific gushers.

Clock in the making.

Quote from: ScrewdriverClock;1470558I used to think pokemon were real, and I'd go out every summer searching for them.

I used to fantasize that 15 giant Pokéballs, one for each Pokémon type, would fall from space and release all the Pokémon into the real world. Awesomeness would promptly ensue.

Quote from: ScrewdriverClock;1470558I used to think coffee was a disgusting drink. LOL ISNT THAT FUNNY

Inside joke.

Quote from: Knife Clock;1469941that shotgun story is too possible to be made up, just so you know and it wasnt those code locks, just the masterlock ones, you only open it with a key. life was great

I want to know how a 5 year old could withstand the recoil from a shotgun, yet alone be able to fire it again after wards. I would also like to know how you knew how to put shells in it and/or why it was already loaded.

Quote from: Joey 89489465456;1469948G.I. Joes are not cool and they never were. There's your misconception.

Shut up, they were awesome. :(!

Quote from: ScrewdriverClock;1470558I believed that the US was the only country and the world and every other country was a part of it.

I met a person who thought that. Except for they where a bit old to think things like that.


I used to think that the the netherlands and the netherworld where the same thing.

Quote from: FloundermanClock;1468560When I was very little I thought Ozzy Ozbourne and Howard Stern were the same person. I also thought you impregnated girls by peeing in them.

i thought babies were made via banging a man and a woman together violently

Quote from: SilverClock;1470662Shut up, they were awesome. :(!

Why were they only able to list the most known three fighting systems?

I thought you could tell I was lying just bylooking me in the eye

Quote from: DWARFINATORclock;1470686Why were they only able to list the most known three fighting systems?

It was the '80's. That's all we knew.

I used to call eyebrows elbows and vice versa. I don't know, the words sound similar ok.

i think you mean elbrows and eyebows

I used to think the holocaust was something that didn't cost much money.

I used to think school counted for something.

Quote from: Andrew;1470728I used to think school counted for something.

Heh, I've developed a philosophy about that:

Primary = Best years of your life
Intermediate = Iffy
Highschool = Fucking shit
University = Don't know yet, I'm only 16 but I expect it'll be better because there won't be so much teenage angst.

Quote from: einsteinclock;1470680i thought babies were made via banging a man and a woman together violently

This is fucking hilarious

Quote from: ScrewdriverClock;1470558I used to think pokemon were real, and I'd go out every summer searching for them.

I never thought this, but one summer when I was a kid my friend and I tried to capture a bunch of small animals so we could have them fight as if they were pokemon. It didn't work out too well. Most things run away,  except slugs, which do nothing at all. Also we made a salamander's tail fall off and I felt bad.

Quote from: AlbinoClock;1470826I never thought this, but one summer when I was a kid my friend and I tried to capture a bunch of small animals so we could have them fight as if they were pokemon. It didn't work out too well. Most things run away,  except slugs, which do nothing at all. Also we made a salamander's tail fall off and I felt bad.

And your friend grew up to be Michael Vick.

Quote from: Flossy Boy;1470828And your friend grew up to be Michael Vick.

No, he does network security out in Boston.

I used to get the Oscars and the Emmies mixed up all the time.

some of these stories are really gold!

I have been reading so long I don't remember anything from when I was little :(

sometimes I suddenly "understand" the meaning of words, though, even now still.
like "revolver" because it rotates, and "K-9" because it spells "canine". Mostly foreign words though, so I guess that's all right.

Quote from: Dagwood;1470524i used to think that whenever i would go up stairs some monster would come to the bottom nd start chasing me so i would always dash up the stairs as fast as i could.

I thought the same, but I would continue running until I could hide behind something.

Quote from: Marlin Clock;1470528When I was little, when I laid on my side, I could hear what I thought was footsteps. I thought it was monsters going up my stairs. I later figured out it was just my heartbeat.

I thought there was a train in my pillow, but I could never find it.

Quote from: Poltergeisty;1470691I thought you could tell I was lying just bylooking me in the eye

My parents had me believe they could tell if I was lying by looking at my tongue. I eventually figured out that wasn't true when they said I was lying when I wasn't.

I believed that since there was a New York, New Jersey, New Mexico, etc. that there existed states that were called Old York, Old Jersey, Old Mexico, etc.

  I used to believe that cells were their own separate organic building block, something completely different and separate from atoms (I thought that atoms made up inorganic things and cells made up organic things and that they were entirely different).  

    All through preschool I thought that sounds like “th” and “ch” and “sh” had their own single letter, and I would agonize for hours over the banner we had in the classroom that listed the letters of the alphabet, trying to figure out which letters made the “th,” “ch,” and “sh” sounds. Now that I think about it, though, I don’t really know why I had that problem, ‘cause I could easily read by that point and had no problems with words like “the” or “chair."

I was born with anosmia (the inability to smell), so I went around for the longest time thinking that you had to “learn” how to smell. I remember having to do this assignment in first grade where our teacher put different things with strong scents in paper bags and we had to go around and identify them by smelling them. I cried the whole time because everyone else had learned to smell except for me.

Quote from: AbacusClock;1470965I was born with anosmia (the inability to smell), so I went around for the longest time thinking that you had to “learn” how to smell. I remember having to do this assignment in first grade where our teacher put different things with strong scents in paper bags and we had to go around and identify them by smelling them. I cried the whole time because everyone else had learned to smell except for me.

can you taste?

sux2bu

Quote from: DigitalLemonClock;1471025can you taste?

Not very well. I can tell the differences between foods, but I think it's due mainly to the textures. Also, when I describe how things taste to me, it's usually not how they taste to other people.

I though a Spruce was a pine and a pine was a spruce

Quote from: BlueGasMaskClock;1470730Heh, I've developed a philosophy about that:

Primary = Best years of your life
Intermediate = Iffy
Highschool = Fucking shit
University = Don't know yet, I'm only 16 but I expect it'll be better because there won't be so much teenage angst.

It's the opposite for me >w<
Primary I had no friends because I could barely speak English
Intermediate I had no friends because I was a lonely otaku
High School I found cool cats like me B]

Quote from: Bill Lumbergh;1470530I used to read calvin and hobbes, and wished that I could delude myself like that

I wasn't stupid enough to believe anything

[sketch]jy5qcyxnz[/sketch]

I used to think women got pregnant by kissing after marriage and I was wondering how the fuck did the babies survived stomachal acid in 9 months.

Quote from: BlueGasMaskClock;1470730Heh, I've developed a philosophy about that:

Primary = Best years of your life
Intermediate = Iffy
Highschool = Fucking shit
University = Don't know yet, I'm only 16 but I expect it'll be better because there won't be so much teenage angst.

So you beleive its better to just be ignorant than it is to learn?

I used to think that large game would die on the first shot. I also used to think that a buck was incapable of screaming.

Quote from: RomanClock;1471180So you beleive its better to just be ignorant than it is to learn?

Ever heard the famed quote: "Ignorance is bliss"? Its actually reasonable on the choice of living a joyous life or fullfill your curiosity in it.

I used to think that all black people liked basketball and all black people smelled funny.  

I'm dead fucking serious too.  I remember being at a theme park and seeing a black kid with a basketball and asking my mom why all black people liked it so much.  She told me to shut up and I didn't understand why.

Quote from: Dwight Schrute;1471070[sketch]jy5qcyxnz[/sketch]

ha ha, what; I mean, I wished that I had an imaginary tiger friend, and that I could go on crazy adventures like that.

Oh yeah, I also thought that you could get into trouble for not going to church/Sunday school.  Sure got me into it.

My sister used to tell me there was some kind of "Kidnapping Squad" funded by the governement that took children away forever if they had bad behavior.

:)

Quote from: TequilaClock;1471189Ever heard the famed quote: "Ignorance is bliss"? Its actually reasonable on the choice of living a joyous life or fullfill your curiosity in it.

This is the exact reason why governments get messed up. People stop learning and just "have fun" and if laws get in the way they complain until BAM, the government is all messed up and people think they deserve money for being alive.

Quote from: RomanClock;1471205This is the exact reason why governments get messed up. People stop learning and just "have fun" and if laws get in the way they complain until BAM, the government is all messed up and people think they deserve money for being alive.

Its the double-edge of life, babe.

Quote from: RomanClock;1471205This is the exact reason why governments get messed up. People stop learning and just "have fun" and if laws get in the way they complain until BAM, the government is all messed up and people think they deserve money for being alive.

People stop learning because they think they don't need it and they think they have all the answers, the most law abiding productive person, is more likely to be stupid than smart.

The only true goal anyone can work towards is happiness, and everyone has a different path to their happiness, but one thing is constant, not putting too much weight on material things, and learning to let live.

Conservative reservations are not rational, it's giving power to things that don't really matter, at all, like naughty words, the only power they have is what you give them.

Money is an abstract, any value is what's given to it, a perfect society does not have money, because people give it way too much weight.

Roman, being a social conservative is just idiotic, sorry.
Fiscal conservative would be good, too bad there hasn't been one of those in power in the US for decades.

you know what, read "Stranger in a Strange Land" by Robert Heinlein, and you might give up some social conceptions of yours

I like how easily Politics gets into Clock Crew threads. :)

Quote from: Michael Scott;1471229I like how easily Politics gets into Clock Crew threads. :)

Naw, its just Maltese, hes like my presonal troll :)

Quote from: RomanClock;1471232Naw, its just Maltese, hes like my presonal troll :)

NOT JUST YOURS!

I do it for any and all conservatives, baby.

Quote from: Bill Lumbergh;1471214People stop learning because they think they don't need it and they think they have all the answers, the most law abiding productive person, is more likely to be stupid than smart.

The only true goal anyone can work towards is happiness, and everyone has a different path to their happiness, but one thing is constant, not putting too much weight on material things, and learning to let live.

Conservative reservations are not rational, it's giving power to things that don't really matter, at all, like naughty words, the only power they have is what you give them.

Money is an abstract, any value is what's given to it, a perfect society does not have money, because people give it way too much weight.

Roman, being a social conservative is just idiotic, sorry.
Fiscal conservative would be good, too bad there hasn't been one of those in power in the US for decades.

you know what, read "Stranger in a Strange Land" by Robert Heinlein, and you might give up some social conceptions of yours

What does social conservatism have anything to do with materialism?
Social conservatism is family values and all that jazz.

Quote from: Marlin Clock;1471251What does social conservatism have anything to do with materialism?
Social conservatism is family values and all that jazz.

that was off-topic

it's just another thing that pisses me off

anyway, this is derailing, we can't talk about this here, let's take it to Plato's Play- oh wait...

I used to think I could dig up dinosaur bones with a little spade.

Quote from: FIREMAN;1471262I used to think I could dig up dinosaur bones with a little spade.

you can, that's actually what they use, you just need to know where to dig

also you'll need some big ass shovels

I was really pissed off that I couldn't see my own eyes. I could see other peoples' eyes, thus they could see their own, why couldn't I see mine?

Quote from: Bill Lumbergh;1471240NOT JUST YOURS!

I do it for any and all conservatives, baby.

Yeah, maltese is a filthy whore. He knows nothing of commitment.

Pardon me but what are these "Conservatives" you speak of?

(Seriously, I have no idea.)

"oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse soap and sleigh"

Quote from: Marlin Clock;1471251What does social conservatism have anything to do with materialism?
Social conservatism is family values and all that jazz.

Everytime I see your posts, I want to pay you a law school.

Quote from: FIREMAN;1471262I used to think I could dig up dinosaur bones with a little spade.

Back in kindergarten, I had a goal to make a huge hole in the sandbox and persuaded a couple of friend to reach China or other place, just then when we hit the brick bottom, we were disappointed. Mainly me.

Quote from: FIREMAN;1471262I used to think I could dig up dinosaur bones with a little spade.

Back in kindergarten, I had a goal to make a huge hole in the sandbox and persuaded a couple of friend to reach China or other place, just then when we hit the brick bottom, we were disappointed. Mainly me.

Quote from: BlueGasMaskClock;1471287Pardon me but what are these "Conservatives" you speak of?

(Seriously, I have no idea.)

Republicans of the US political system. Stereotype goes that they are heavy Christian, gun wielding, war-happy fucks. 'Course there's a lot more to Conservatism, but they can tell you more than me.

Quote from: TequilaClock;1471289Everytime I see your posts, I want to pay you a law school.

Thanks I think?

Quote from: TequilaClock;1471289Back in kindergarten, I had a goal to make a huge hole in the sandbox and persuaded a couple of friend to reach China or other place, just then when we hit the brick bottom, we were disappointed. Mainly me.

I used in my backyard for treasure. One time I found what I thought was a ruby and ran in to show my parents, turns out it was dogfood.

Quote from: FloundermanClock;1471298I used in my backyard for treasure. One time I found what I thought was a ruby and ran in to show my parents, turns out it was dogfood.

I would have thought they just wanted the ruby for themselves.

Quote from: BlueGasMaskClock;1471287Pardon me but what are these "Conservatives" you speak of?

(Seriously, I have no idea.)

The opposite of being liberal. (You can be conservative on some issues and liberal on some)
Conservatism at its base means a slow change while keeping to traditional values.
Liberalism at its base is the acceptance of change immediately.
Neither are inherently bad or good.
Young people tend to be liberal and old people tend to be conservative.

In New Zealand our two main parties are Labour (Democrats) and National (Republican)

EDIT: I used to think that if you were falling down a hill at a great rate of knots, curling up into a ball would immediately protect you from damage. Slaters did it and they stayed safe, right?

Well, as it turns out, that doesn't help you when you're rolling down a volcano crater.



Yes it was an extinct volcano

Quote from: Marlin Clock;1471296Thanks I think?

No mock.

Thanks.

When I was really little I thought the light things you ate, like bread and cheese, became your pee, and the dark things you ate, like raisins, became your poop.

Quote from: RomanClock;1471304The opposite of being liberal. (You can be conservative on some issues and liberal on some)
Conservatism at its base means a slow change while keeping to traditional values.
Liberalism at its base is the acceptance of change immediately.
Neither are inherently bad or good.
Young people tend to be liberal and old people tend to be conservative.

Nope, the opposite of being conservative is being progressive.
(actually conservatism is more of a path between progressive and reactionary,  thus making  reactionary the true opposite of progressive.)
The opposite of liberalism is socialism.

Childhood naivete ≠ political thread

ANYWHO...

When I was year 4 I ate lots of fatty and sugary foods because my friend of the same age was 54KG. I later realised that he was heavier than most year fours.

Also:

Quote from: FloundermanClock;1471427Childhood naivete ≠ political thread

Right on. Although it was my fault for asking what a conservative was really.

Quote from: Obroxious Groovebag;1471424Nope, the opposite of being conservative is being progressive.
(actually conservatism is more of a path between progressive and reactionary,  thus making  reactionary the true opposite of progressive.)
The opposite of liberalism is socialism.

Don't try and be smart. Liberals are progressive and conservatives are traditional. Google can probably point you in the right direction.

In reality though, its actually defined geo-politically.

ANYWHO...

I used to think you could tell what someone thought of you just by looking at them.

Quote from: RomanClock;1471439Don't try and be smart. Liberals are progressive and conservatives are traditional. Google can probably point you in the right direction.

In reality though, its actually defined geo-politically.

Liberals are progressive as long as you're not a liberal country, once you're a liberal country it becomes conservative and socialism becomes progressive

ANYWHO...

I thought that you didn't move, everything else moved for you.

I used to think that threads about childhood misconception had very little to do with political semantics.

Quote from: RomanClock;1471439NEAT ACTIONSCRIPT STUFF FUCK YOU LIBERAL SCUM

Quote from: Obroxious Groovebag;1471445I AM A SALMON

Will you two stop ruining my thread plz.

ANYWHO...

I thought that anyone could enter gymnastics because it was walking, jumping and spinning.

I failed miserably.

My brother once convinced me that if you cried to much you would die, which scared me a lot so I started crying, which scared me even more, so I cried more, so I got more scared.... it was a vicious cycle.

Quote from: Flossy Boy;1471455My brother once convinced me that if you cried to much you would die, which scared me a lot so I started crying, which scared me even more, so I cried more, so I got more scared.... it was a vicious cycle.

Wow, he must feel awful proud of himself now whenever he remembers that.

Quote from: BlueGasMaskClock;1471457Wow, he must feel awful proud of himself now whenever he remembers that.

Hes 21 now and still finds the whole ordeal hilarious.

Quote from: Flossy Boy;1471462Hes 21 now and still finds the whole ordeal hilarious.

:facepalm:

Quote from: Flossy Boy;1471462Hes 21 now and still finds the whole ordeal hilarious.

I would give him a high-five. I would give him one ten times.

Quote from: The Archduke;1471485I would give him a high-five. I would give him one ten times.

Just ten? Something of this magnitude requires sixteen high fives and a brofist.

I used to think Santa was my dad.

I mean like, LITERALLY my dad.

• He was fat
• pretty old for a child's father
• ate a lot of sweets
• and the main clue was once I saw a Santa note replying me for some chocolate and milk I left on christmas night with the same script as him

I was feeling like an AWESOME kid then. I told my early middle school peeps stuff like "yo guys, I got proof my dad IS Santa" B)

(Though, I am not sure if its valid in this thread)

One night Tequila's father sneaked into my house, I called the police and told them to deport him but he got away.

Quote from: Joey 1337;1471514One night Tequila's father sneaked into my house, I called the police and told them to deport him but he got away.

Yeah he doesn't like to visit FAGS

Quote from: Joey 1337;1471514One night Tequila's father sneaked into my house, I called the police and told them to deport him but he got away.

His dad was hassling me for money in front of the grocery store, I told him to get a job or go back to cuba

Quote from: RomanClock;1471439Don't try and be smart. Liberals are progressive and conservatives are traditional.

apples are round and bananas are long, therefore, every round object is an apple and every long object is a banana.

Tequila, your Dad was Santa. So was mine. That's how it works.

I got the words accident and purpose mixed up so when I did something on accident I told people I did it on purpose and they thought I was some kind of physco.

Quote from: Joey 2;1471591apples are round and bananas are long, therefore, every round object is an apple and every long object is a banana.

I laughed so hard.
brilliant.

When I was a child, my friends could convince me that anything was alright. ~4 years old.

Quote from: AlbinoClock;1471618Tequila, your Dad was Santa. So was mine. That's how it works.

wut

Quote from: AlbinoClock;1471618Tequila, your Dad was Santa. So was mine. That's how it works.

HERESY!

Quote from: PowerGloveClock;1471796wut

everyone's dad pretends to be Santa at one point in his life.

I love how Fire Fox dictionary says Santa without capital is wrong.

Quote from: Ronnie O'Sullivan;1471591apples are round...

Quote from: RomanClock;1471439In reality though, its actually defined geo-politically.

Its really cool when people don't read other peoples posts.
But that's how the world works, eh?

Quote from: Al Sharpton ☻;1471651I got the words accident and purpose mixed up so when I did something on accident I told people I did it on purpose and they thought I was some kind of physco.

Thats awesome... Similar things would happen to me as a child.

I got Ren and Stimpy confused with Beavis and Butthead.

And I got chewed out for saying that I'd watched Beavis and Butthead all Saturday morning... I was like "sniff... but... it's so funny..." And I'd get the evil eye.

Quote from: Ronnie O'Sullivan;1472368everyone's dad pretends to be Santa at one point in his life.

LIES

Quote from: RomanClock;1472538Its really cool when people don't read other peoples posts.
But that's how the world works, eh?

so first you say that something is an absolute truth, then you say that in reality it isn't so (which makes me wonder, though, what's the point of discussing these matters not in reality), and then you call me out on the fact that I said it wasn't an absolute truth?

Quote from: AlbinoClock;1471618Tequila, your Dad was Santa. So was mine. That's how it works.

I said LITERALLY.

I always got Milky Ways confused with Cookies 'N Cream.