True non-fiction truth novels

[PhantomCatClock]

3:02:21 PM Ã...¤á¹¹Ã...â€"ḇø ṨéẍṏṕȟÃ...‘Ã...†Ã¯Ã,, ƉÃ,,“ḽǐḡḩáºâ€": Falgarian was a mighty wizard, famous in his town for the hero that he is.
3:03:16 PM Ã...¤á¹¹Ã...â€"ḇø ṨéẍṏṕȟÃ...‘Ã...†Ã¯Ã,, ƉÃ,,“ḽǐḡḩáºâ€": The apprentice of the evil sorcerer from the tower just outside the city decided that, since neither he nor his master could defeat Falgarian, he could at least play a prank on the powerful mage.
3:03:38 PM Ã...¤á¹¹Ã...â€"ḇø ṨéẍṏṕȟÃ...‘Ã...†Ã¯Ã,, ƉÃ,,“ḽǐḡḩáºâ€": So he snuck into Falgarian's keep and animated as many of the hero's possessions as he could before sunrise.
3:04:19 PM Ã...¤á¹¹Ã...â€"ḇø ṨéẍṏṕȟÃ...‘Ã...†Ã¯Ã,, ƉÃ,,“ḽǐḡḩáºâ€": When the champion awoke, he had to fight the shields that had protected him, kill the swords that had slain HIS enemies, and de-animate his once-faithful books.
3:04:28 PM Ã...¤á¹¹Ã...â€"ḇø ṨéẍṏṕȟÃ...‘Ã...†Ã¯Ã,, ƉÃ,,“ḽǐḡḩáºâ€": However, his attire was the real problem.
3:04:46 PM Ã...¤á¹¹Ã...â€"ḇø ṨéẍṏṕȟÃ...‘Ã...†Ã¯Ã,, ƉÃ,,“ḽǐḡḩáºâ€": He was normally adorned in powerful artifacts that boosted his own potential several times over.
3:05:49 PM Ã...¤á¹¹Ã...â€"ḇø ṨéẍṏṕȟÃ...‘Ã...†Ã¯Ã,, ƉÃ,,“ḽǐḡḩáºâ€": With much difficulty he overpowered his amulet and robes, disenchanted his powerful staff, and splintered his favorite wand.
3:06:17 PM Ã...¤á¹¹Ã...â€"ḇø ṨéẍṏṕȟÃ...‘Ã...†Ã¯Ã,, ƉÃ,,“ḽǐḡḩáºâ€": His trousers, though, the Knickerbockers of The Eternal Sun, were what he feared the most.
3:07:03 PM Ã...¤á¹¹Ã...â€"ḇø ṨéẍṏṕȟÃ...‘Ã...†Ã¯Ã,, ƉÃ,,“ḽǐḡḩáºâ€": Ancient and terrible without being animated, they had locked themselves at the top of his tower, quite possibly planning to use some of the items up there to destroy the great wizard, or worse, animate more of his items.
3:07:24 PM Ã...¤á¹¹Ã...â€"ḇø ṨéẍṏṕȟÃ...‘Ã...†Ã¯Ã,, ƉÃ,,“ḽǐḡḩáºâ€": However, when Falgarian went in, he cast no spell, uttered no incantation.
3:08:04 PM Ã...¤á¹¹Ã...â€"ḇø ṨéẍṏṕȟÃ...‘Ã...†Ã¯Ã,, ƉÃ,,“ḽǐḡḩáºâ€": He instinctively lashed out with his nicked iron shortsword, cutting the clothing in half, destroying it instantly.
3:08:28 PM Ã...¤á¹¹Ã...â€"ḇø ṨéẍṏṕȟÃ...‘Ã...†Ã¯Ã,, ƉÃ,,“ḽǐḡḩáºâ€": The great wizard then packed up the rest of his possessions. When confronted by the townspeople, they asked,
3:09:04 PM Ã...¤á¹¹Ã...â€"ḇø ṨéẍṏṕȟÃ...‘Ã...†Ã¯Ã,, ƉÃ,,“ḽǐḡḩáºâ€": "Great sire! Were you not victorious? You defeated all the apprentice's tricks, they are shamed! Why do you leave our fine city that owes you, its savior, so much?"
3:09:42 PM Ã...¤á¹¹Ã...â€"ḇø ṨéẍṏṕȟÃ...‘Ã...†Ã¯Ã,, ƉÃ,,“ḽǐḡḩáºâ€": The powerful man hung his head low, showing his advanced age for the first time, and replied, "I can no longer show my face in your beautiful city, young one."
3:09:50 PM Ã...¤á¹¹Ã...â€"ḇø ṨéẍṏṕȟÃ...‘Ã...†Ã¯Ã,, ƉÃ,,“ḽǐḡḩáºâ€": "Why not?" asked the citizen.
3:09:54 PM Ã...¤á¹¹Ã...â€"ḇø ṨéẍṏṕȟÃ...‘Ã...†Ã¯Ã,, ƉÃ,,“ḽǐḡḩáºâ€": "I just crat my pants."

I occasionally send 100% truthy tales to people who are AFK on IM (oh my gosh who still IMs) so I'm going to dump them here as I send them so they aren't lost forever, just brushed under the carpet forever.