Last night I went out drinking with some friends.
On the way to the pub we see some bum who's
looking pissed off at us, we just drove past him.
Then we arrive at the pub, I start checking out the
hot girls, like I usually do, and then suddenly
I get eye-contact with this good looking girl.
She kind of looks like a slut, but who cares right?
Tits and ass round and sweet, pretty face, blonde
hair just past her shoulders. I wanted to go to her but
Ronald suddenly pulled my shirt and said: 'come on
Erik is in trouble we need you'. So i said okay
and went with him to help my friend. Some stupid
drunk suddenly broke a bottle and started screaming.
I didn't know what to do so I just stood there shaking,
scared for my life, but then he leaped towards me!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGHHH!!!!!
Jesus fucking Christ it all happened so fast...
One moment he jumped towards me the other he was
knocked out on the floor, bleeding from the head.
Everyone was staring at me in horror, I was dazed.
I looked at the guy, he was laying on the ground,
shattered glass and blood all around him. Still
not fully realising what had just happened I just
took a seat and try to come to my senses a bit.
I couldn't believe what I had done. After a while
the police came and I told them what happened.
Hotty was still standing around and came over to me.
I said hi, and she planted a kiss on my cheeck and
laughed seductively. We started making out and
after a while she said she had something really,
really important to tell me. I said, sure, shoot.
I used to be a man, I hope you donn't mind she said.
OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DONE?
UNBELIEVABLE SHE LOOKS LIKE A WOMAN WHAT THE
SHIT?! I screamed, slapped her in the face and left.
you are shitting me here right?
Quote from: PirateClockyou are shitting me here right?
Q IS EEN MOOIE LETTER.
WAAR KOM JIJ VANDAAN DWERGINATOR?
Sounds like fun! You and me should go and do it together dwarfy!
omg you know how to have a gd night out
Quote from: PirateClockyou are shitting me here right?
Pretty crazy, huh, I know that from now on I'll be
extra carefull about making out with anyone : (
Normally I would just walk up to someone and then
I'd plant one right on her mouth but now I am
so scared that I probably won't go out for weeks : (
At least now you have another tale to tell your grandchildren. Great story!
Quote from: LeekClockAt least now you have another tale to tell your grandchildren. Great story!
It's almost as good as the story from when Piney got you pregnant.
Dwarfinator got off with a man.
I can't wait to tell my friends!
Cracking story, made me cry.
Keep up the good work friend.
:fifen: :fifen: :fifen:
Does this incident make you question your 'judgment'???
Quote from: GiftClockDoes this incident make you question your 'judgment'???
I still don't understand how that could have happened,
damn, she looked so good and female! Maybe she was kidding..
I guess I won't ever know if she was serious because I ran
out on her. But can you really blame me? What if someone
told you she was a man after you just made out with her?
Quote from: DWARFINATORI still don't understand how that could have happened,
damn, she looked so good and female! Maybe she was kidding..
I guess I won't ever know if she was serious because I ran
out on her. But can you really blame me? What if someone
told you she was a man after you just made out with her?
jerry springer material!
I MEAN THAT IS INDEED A TOUCHING STORY DWARFINATOR.
Note to self: gay bars are bad.
sounds like you had the best day in your life Roel :D
But in case this shit really happened, you should be able to separate a guy from a girl. Probably because of the state of shock you actually believed her and it was only a lame joke.
Dwarfinator=Owned by travesty
You're lying, everyone knows you got turned on when she mentioned she used to be a man. :fire:
Quote from: SpriteRemixClockYou're lying, everyone knows you got turned on when she mentioned she used to be a man. :fire:
This is ofcourse an interesting thing you say, but
I can assure you that I am a 100% hetero guy
that would never intentionally make out with a
shemale or anything other than a human female.
wah h that is scary and weird but i still dont know what the bums on the street had to do with anything
Quote from: RupeeClockIM A BIG APE THAT LIKES IT UP THE BUTT
:dork:
What kind of a mod replies with tldr?
He is supposed to set an example for the rest
and not act like some of the spammers..
THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!
Quote from: DWARFINATORWhat kind of a mod replies with tldr?
He is supposed to set an example for the rest
and not act like some of the spammers..
THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!
tldr makes me laugh.
You know what's funny? You know what's funny? Wanna hear something funny?
Tire has boobs.
Tire is also male.
Quote from: TriangleFrom this information, I can deduce that Tire is infact fat.
You should deduce that Tire,
was fat. Unlike half of the worlds population, I actually got off my ass and lost the weight. Last year I weight well over 200 lbs. Now i'm just about 175. And i'm still going for less.
SRC, stop holding the grudge. It was two years ago.
who nocked out the drunk guy coming at ya?
You crazy UKians lol/Europeans and your pubs haha all a bunch of drunks especially those irish :D
(im irish don't anyone get mad)
Quote from: yoslowwho nocked out the drunk guy coming at ya?
You crazy UKians lol/Europeans and your pubs haha all a bunch of drunks especially those irish :D
(im irish don't anyone get mad)
I was the one that knocked him out, I smashed my glass into the
man's head in a reflex, I did the first thing that came to my mind.
Man it all happened so fast, a matter of seconds, I didn't even think
about it and just to guard myself I slammed my glass in his face and
knocked him the fuck out. Thank god there wasn't any glass in my hand,
I guess I was lucky. I don't know what happened to the guy, i wonder..
Nevertheless he deserved everything he got that drunken maniac just
going around trying to murder people >: (
Things like this have been happening more and more lately around
here, can't even hang out with your friends without getting harassed.
I just don't feel safe in my own city anymore, when you don't have that
safe feeling when going out, things just aren't the same..
Understand that I still go out, but now with a larger group of
people so if things get rough we can handle the situation.
fuck man, i would of went with it, and if i was lucky she'd still have a penor.
F
O
O
L
S
Quote from: TireNow i'm just about 175.
Still huge, fatty.
You all need too realise that
other than me and dwarfy
underestimating transvestites,
really may be serious to you.
Alot of people seem to ignore
lots of transvestites but in
lovley reality they are all
cute people I mean, whats
under his/her pants? Maybe
not a pussy maybe not a dick.
Too many of you are making
silly asumptions of this thread.
:D
i would not mind, if he/she was a man, when he/she is not ANY MORE. (that reqires pussy, not a pen0r, female voice, and boobs.)
dwarfinator told me the true ending to this story. I wont post it though.
Quote from: PepsiClockdwarfinator told me the true ending to this story. I wont post it though.
Cant you tell me it, afterall
overnight I made love too
chancelor dwarfy aswell.
Knobby knees he has too
:D
Quote from: TriangleNever make out with a chick without checking for a sausage.
It's my motto and it hasn't failed me yet, however most
girls are shocked when I give them a little pat. Its beats kissing a
guy. I'll take a slap to the face and verbal abuse of that. But
even then, I miss out on hot girls because they're offended. Maybe I should
reconsider my tactics, and maybe I'll get laid.
Sheesh I'm making this up. I'm not a pervert.
So what if she has got a sausage?
or even he for that matter
really, it's up to them if they wanna
reveal there sasauge in any case
you sir are a shambles to society
Too be honest so am I on that note
relying on others to break the thin
ice first. Do they have one or not?
All of us men have one but those
naughty woman don't oh no, they
go and have a pussy, meaning
lieing about there sasauge would
either be wrong or transvestite.
:D
i just don't talk to "girls" who have more hair on their face than me.
Quote from: TriangleNever make out with a chick without checking for a sausage.
It's my motto and it hasn't failed me yet, however most
girls are shocked when I give them a little pat. Its beats kissing a
guy. I'll take a slap to the face and verbal abuse of that. But
even then, I miss out on hot girls because they're offended. Maybe I should
reconsider my tactics, and maybe I'll get laid.
Sheesh I'm making this up. I'm not a pervert.
Really that isn't such a crazy idea if you think about it I can
understand that maybe some girls are shocked if you give them a
pat in the crotch but really, if you explain later you can
expect her to understand if she really is a cool girl, right?
Even if she gets upset you can probably make up by buying her drinks.
Looking at how I ended up kissing a guy, it's obvious that my tactics
in detecting dicks are flawed. Maybe you could tell me some more
killer moves for detecting the dreaded penis? I mean it, really,
every tip or tactic is welcome, because I don't want to be
scared of women anymore :(
Meanwhile I just sit here behind my computer anticipating some
easy dick recognising tips from you. I hope you reply soon, I'll
never forget what you did for me, thanks alot : )
Quote from: PirateClocki just don't talk to "girls" who have more hair on their face than me.
Funny, really funny man! Like I already said she looked, felt, smelled
and kissed like a woman. Not to forget she looked really good, fucking
great more like it. So I don't understand why you are mocking me.
Quote from: DWARFINATORFunny, really funny man! Like I already said she looked, felt, smelled
and kissed like a woman. Not to forget she looked really good, fucking
great more like it. So I don't understand why you are mocking me.
sorry dude, kissing a he-bitch realy is a "pain in the ass" well it would be if you've done more then kiss!
ahh that's hilarious.. but serious all the he-bitches i saw still kinda looked like a guy, so their are 3 options here 1. you were realy realy drunk 2. see was shitting you 3. see realy looked like a women, in that case you just had some bad luck my friend.
the moral is, never trust a women, even if she was a man once
Quote from: PygmyClockYou all need too realise that
other than me and dwarfy
underestimating transvestites,
really may be serious to you.
Alot of people seem to ignore
lots of transvestites but in
lovley reality they are all
cute people I mean, whats
under his/her pants? Maybe
not a pussy maybe not a dick.
Too many of you are making
silly asumptions of this thread.
:D
what are you trying to say?
Quote from: TriangleI don't think I'm a dick detecting pro either.
However, there are some ways to finding
a transvestite. The most obvious one would be to
check for a cock. Most girls don't like it and would
kick you in the nuts. I think the best method that works
every time is to check for an adams apple. It usually means
DICK HERE, because every girl doesn't have one.
Try it out some time, but you it will probably take time.
Have patience, you're not going to meet a transvestite
every time you go out.
Big hands are usually a sign of that she was a man. If they're
bigger than Andre the Giant's hands, run. (Reference to
Steve Carell's the 40 year old virgin.)
Thanks for the pointers, I really think this will make it a
hell of a lot easier to spot them shemales that try to lead
eager young men into their horrible traps.
Man I still get pissed off thinking about it, but maybe it was
a joke and I just ran away from hotty mchothot and slapped her
right in the face just because she was joking. It's crazy,
I kind of hope she was joking, maybe some of my friends know her
or one of her friends and I can find out if she was joking.
Before I do that I have to think it over ofcourse because
really, I don't want to see her again if she's really a guy,
obviously.
This is all I can think about at the moment, I really really
have to find out if she was joking because otherwise I'll
end up going insane or something, I'm so confused, this is
really eating me up inside, I just have to know if she
seriously was a man, or a girl.
Alright, I think I'm going to start asking my friends, I haven't
told them about this incident yet, so they don't know what I can
expect them to say or do, I'll have to be subtle about it.
More updates about this will come soon ofcourse, I will keep
you guys posted about what I find out.
Before I forget, I want to say that I don't appreciate
all those "funny" replies, I don't think they're funny, I'm not
laughing. Try to see it from my point of view, this isn't a
laughing matter guys, I'm serious about this and I'm so
scared to find out the real answer : (
Quote from: DWARFINATORFunny, really funny man! Like I already said she looked, felt, smelled
and kissed like a woman. Not to forget she looked really good, fucking
great more like it. So I don't understand why you are mocking me.
Mate, you need too leave pirate alone man,
I mean, what has he ever done too you???
Not as if he smacked you side too side with
giant butterfly dung is it? Don't be so mean,
everyone has the right to show thier feelings.
if you slapped a girl in fact, u got fucked up. never got a chance by this hottie anyway. and it must be a joke. come on! which shemale is gojng to you, kiss ya cheek and then go: i used to be a man, ya know?
no shemale will ever say that. most times, u will find it out when you first gonna fuck them. but then, its already too late., so.
you slapped a girl *hehihihi*
Quote from: Trianglestory
I'm glad I'm not the only one with female horror stories.
Knowing how it feels to be deceived by a woman I say
never trust them, and don't buy in to their lies
or you will get screwed, like what happened to you.
Women, you can't live with 'em and you can't live without 'em.
I feel for you man, that must have been a really
terrifying experience, have you ever told your friends about it?
Sometimes that may help, plus you can plot some revenge : )
Cunts like that don't deserve to get laid man, you deserve
revenge, get her and her friends back for what they did
and let them know it was you. Shit in their mailbox!
ZING!
You'll feel better, trust me.
...
Now I see why you're on cc instead of outside.
Your cities are full of creeps.
o_O
Quote from: DWARFINATORI'm glad I'm not the only one with female horror stories.
Knowing how it feels to be deceived by a woman I say
never trust them, and don't buy in to their lies
or you will get screwed, like what happened to you.
Women, you can't live with 'em and you can't live without 'em.
I feel for you man, that must have been a really
terrifying experience, have you ever told your friends about it?
Sometimes that may help, plus you can plot some revenge : )
Cunts like that don't deserve to get laid man, you deserve
revenge, get her and her friends back for what they did
and let them know it was you. Shit in their mailbox!
ZING!
You'll feel better, trust me.
I wouldn't worry about it dwarfy I mean
theres nothing wrong with sleeping with a transvesite!
Heaven forbid, I've done it a few times too!
Oh by the way, their a bundle of fun too
ugly, but fun, especially at the end when they dont
go on for ages like woman dom oh well, life would be
heavinly if that where true. If your actually reading
this your really sad, go fuck yourself...sideways.
You disgust me all of you, your all so I'm a edgy teen, havn't
overviewed this thread and thought this is disgusting
unless you are attracted too transvestites of course
which in any case is all right as you dont have too worry
everyone about being gay n stuff. I'm gonna go on about my
rich and succesfull life story now, when I was born in new york
everyone praised me in such way, I used to get erections whilst
going too sleep, oh those were the days, no worry about life,
or money, or your family. Just sat there all day not doing an
inch of work. Excellent. When I was 14 I started too pick my bum
Not nice eh? oh well deal with it, it's not as if your actually
going too read this whole post its too long and now I can't be
twated to use punctuation, grr thats another thing that annoys
over all is punctuation, who needs it? It's not as if we cre about it.
Over all I'm just going on as I'm bored. :D My favourite type of
breakfast is cereal, I like it with sugar and milk. Used with a
elongated spoon, it can be just the perfect thing too settle a bad
dilema, anyway who cares what I'm on about, TOO LONG DID
fuck all too try and read it, everyone wants too be like us,
understatement we are, we desrve more power and love
cool people get more than us and we defeated the oompaloompas
knifed them infact, so they couldn't meet there precious willy
erect wonker, Oh well i'm going too bed night all, nice too speak
Relackeringa too you all good night and dont let the bed bugs bite
my story: it was at a party (where else?)
not all were drunk, but tired. this girl (got a crush on her for like, 2 years?) and she was like, really...well, it looked like she got a crush oin me too. (like showing, grabbing and some other shit with her tits.) and when we all went to bed at the party (it was a lame one so we decided to do) she announced to sleep with myself in one bed.
so it was night and she pretended all like "lets petting" and i rubbed her tits.
and the day after she was all like: oh my god. you touched my boobs! i was asleep!
damn whore. i was saying: no way, you were awake ! and she made the other girls (UGLY ONES, but the only girls left, one of them is a sister of a friend) hating me, not the worst thing. worst thing was that now, she makes things like calling me pervert, and sometimes, she s like lets hug, and then like, get the fuck out of my sight or i ll smack ya with my little needle, that i use to hurt myself!!
(she was split with her old bf, so i smelled my chance. 1 month later, or something less, they got back together.)
if someone can solve the riddle of femalness, please tell me
Quote from: NightClockif someone can solve the riddle of femalness, please tell me
Learn how to spell and type.
I know that would be a selling point for me.
Quote from: ShotglassClockLearn how to spell and type.
I know that would be a selling point for me.
LOL
Shotglass>Night
Sorry night, that was kinda funny.:D
Quote from: PygmyClockLOL
Shotglass>Night
Sorry night, that was kinda funny.:D
It's true!
I'm a stickler for that sort of thing.
Proper English..
[/orgasm]
Well... it didn't happened to me but the story I'm going to tell next is the worst thing that can happen to someone. Ok, so there is this guy who goes to a whore as a first sexual experience. After the "experience" he had, he told his 2 closest friends so they go too. I heared them talking stuff like "it was awesome" and "she had big boobs" and "she wasn't that pretty but she was a 7 out of 10". Anyways, years later one of these guys goes to her once again but this time he pulls "her" hair. She screams with the voice of a man and stabs him with a short knife "she" had in his leg. Later in court this guy learns that "her" name is not "Tina" but "Tony", and apparently "Tony" is a deserter (he didn't went to the army). Last time I heared of them they were visiting psychologists.
lol@ shotglass.
only if i am from austria and English isnt my First Language.
and the fact that i just invented another word for "feminity"
"youre prejudicing me"
Quote from: NightClocklol@ shotglass.
only if i am from austria and English isnt my First Language.
and the fact that i just invented another word for "feminity"
"youre prejudicing me"
You don't know what "prejudicing" means, right?
Hey, It doesn't matter where you are from,
everyone should be able to use grammar/spelling
like they aren't 5 yeas old, just saying random words
often makes you look stupid.
Today I asked some friends if they knew who she or
he was (the girl from my story), but still haven't had
any succes in finding someone who knows her, I had a
rad time doing stupid shit at school though (not).
But back to the subject, I asked around and they didn't
understand why I was asking about the girl, because
they knew I slapped her and everything, I guess she
told everyone about it, but didn't tell anyone why I
slapped her, atleast I think she didn't because I
haven't been laughed at or anything, maybe they thought she
earned it. I'm still trying to find stuff out, but nothing has
come up yet. I'm thinking that tomorrow I'll have more luck,
knowing that tomorrow I'll have classes again and
someone must something, right?
For goodness sakes people!
urine in this story is NON EXISTANT.
Coming to the bar was such a
kick in the balls
You really need to learn to switch your brians
on in the morning, so you can put your balls
up your arse and I won't even care
All you clocks out there just go and
lick your elbow... If you can.
Lies I am saying! except for lieing about lieing!
Quote from: Sir SinisterFor goodness sakes people!
urine in this story is NON EXISTANT.
Coming to the bar was such a
kick in the balls
You really need to learn to switch your brians
on in the morning, so you can put your balls
up your arse and I won't even care
All you clocks out there just go and
lick your elbow... If you can.
Lies I am saying! except for lieing about lieing!
how stupid can you be?
The thing that you don't realize is that stuff like this CAN happen. Welcome to the real world!
And why should he lie about somethig like this?
I wish you marry a travestite and learn who "she" really is when you go with her to the doctor to find out why can't you two have babies.
Quote from: Sir Sinisterurine!
Gee, I'm sorry that there was no urine in the story, I have
other stories about urine though, for you I'll type one
out. One time I was at this party and everyone was getting
drunk, you can probably tell where this is going, but hey.
Just after I've arrived this girl started slapping me
on my ass. I thought what the fuck? So I said hey you
bitch what the fuck are you doing (she wasn't hot)?
Bitch said to me something along the lines of hey baby
undress and I'll give you a blowjob, I said sure and
took the offer, she had no idea, hahaha.
Things weren't going as she had planned, she started sucking
only to find out that I wouldn't get hard, I didn't
only have to piss, I also couldn't get my whiskeydick hard.
Ofcourse I did the obvious thing any drunk asshole would do,
bitch never saw it coming. I just let go of everything, my piss
vigorously spraying out of my dick into her mouth, cheeks blowing up.
I think I've never laughed this hard before in my life, I fell
over and pissed all over her, myself and the room we were in. you must
understand I was very drunk and you know, drunk people tend to do
stupid things, so yeah, that's one of my piss stories.
Quote from: DWARFINATORstory
Now THAT is top quality entretainment.
i once pissed a glass full and i guy drink it.
Quote from: TriangleUrine? Where did you get urine from?
Sinister, I don't think you should be posting
until you have thought out what you want to say.
Create posts with substance! Not just random words like
"Kick in the balls"
Anyways, I think I understood what you were
trying to get across, but the words dont make much sense.
That story that Dwarfinator
had told us is not only possible, but
it actually happened! There are no lies in his
story, so try to be a little more sensitive to his problem.
There is truth in this post, even I thought it was
really weird. Sinister's post was quite chaotic and
unintelligible. Next time you should try to make it
easier to understand.
Quote from: TriangleHello, I am bumping this thread,
I don't have much to say though.
Really, that story I said earlier not
only partially true, I left out the real
ending. I really got with the hot chick, she
licked my balls. I was just being a friend.
So it wasn't a true horror story after all? Ball licking is
unbelievably hot, well that's what I think, I always ask the
pretties I'm with if they want to lick my balls, and they often will.
Anyway something weird happened again today, I think my
life is just a WTF magnet, alot of crazy shit happens to me
every day. Like when I got home there was a fucking
xylophone on the table, what the FUCK? I'll ask my mom about it later.
Quote from: TriangleBy the way, It was hot she really
understood how to lick my balls.
Maybe I should call her back and
pump her again. It would be fun.
Oh, what a joke, you had your balls sucked
man, I know somone who could do it better
fran her name is, untill I found out she was
grossly into bondage, then she gave me a
bar of metal, to make her uncomfortable with
apart from that she was cool, she had very big
nipples aswell, oh my days they were big!!
Oh! How come I have never noticed this thread? :(
Many crazy things happen at pubs. I was at one today with my
grandparents and family having lunch.
Nothing good happened though; not like the times while I was in England.
One time I got drunk I ended up pissing on the floor in a train station.
Quote from: DWARFINATOR! I screamed, slapped her in the face and left.
Goldmine
<3
Cream is what you need for something
like that Dwarfy, I mean the transvestite thing because I heard from
Orange and that that tranies can pass on diseases through just
calling you, that sound a bit wierd I
know and it's probably been exagurated alot but still better safe
then sorry. I've heard of this cream which is called
Octanagon which is a sort of "cure all" for minor diseases
passed from salaver when people talk to you while
inhabited by the disease, I think the talk passed disease you get from
a tranvestite is called "Hersaveal Disease".
Because remember it may be a minor disease but in some cases
it can cause death or serious injust and I advise you to go and
take Octanagon and use it once a day just to be sure that your
"Close friend" didn't inadvertantly pass on the disease to you.
Hell it is, or so I've read but remember it's better safe then sorry.
Enjoy your life Dwarf but drink plenty of fluids if you feal unwell.
Secrets like this shouldn't be shared on an internet forum.