Clock Crew

Community => General Discussion => Topic farted by: RobClock on July 29, 2013, 09:50:46 AM

Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: RobClock on July 29, 2013, 09:50:46 AM
It's been a while, but it's back in style!

(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffiles.myfrogbag.com%2Fhm3zco%2FThe%2520Protocols%2520of%2520the%2520Elders%2520of%2520Strawberry%2520Clock%2520cover.png&hash=328fc53f72a70f09b75e22ef3891b192e02ad98c)

Gauged interest in reviving this lil project on the CC FB page and got some positive feedback so let's get the ball rolling!

Spam anthology book. Write some shit. No real limits to what you can or can't do. Images can go in too, but unless we want to tack an additional $20 onto the price tag, they have to be in black and white.

Going to go the route of self publishing via lulu/CreateSpace. We have a limit of 400 pages, but I don't figure that'll be too much of a problem.

So if you've written some "ironic" sonicXmario fanfic that you've always wanted published, now's your chance! Post your contributions and ideas in this thread, and I'll do my very best to make sure it all gets in.
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: RobClock on July 29, 2013, 10:20:30 AM
I'm still going to use the suggestions made in the old thread (http://www.clockcrew.cc/talk/showthread.php?97848-CC-Spam-Novel), such as goldmine transcriptions.

So just throw shit out there. No idea is too shitty!!!



edit; Snapple's Oregon Trail Diaries took up 13 pages. Totally worth it.
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: AbbaZabaClock on July 29, 2013, 11:15:25 AM
I like this shit.
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: Lump Clock on July 29, 2013, 12:39:38 PM
Still down.
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: BoomStick Clock on July 29, 2013, 01:07:02 PM
yes.
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK on July 29, 2013, 03:28:41 PM
Once I'm back I'd love to do something for this. Maybe throw in my old disgusting fanfics too.
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: Soup Clock on July 29, 2013, 04:06:02 PM
I wrote that sex story a while back, I'd like to enter that into a novel.
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: BilliardBall10 on July 29, 2013, 05:21:44 PM
if you should add soemthing by me, is:

''dicklets. those creatures are the new pokeymans, only that they exist in the lands of clocktopia.
they are long, tough, and very angry. and they run alot. dicklets, dicklets, everywhere!''

AND:

as bbtenius was walking past the river, he once saw his old friend, rob-clock. his friend, salt-clock the IInd was dancing, and he was having a blast. and everything was going well, until, suddenly, rob-clock punched his best friend. in the balls.
salt-clock the IInd, now writhing in pain, feeling weak, losing the earth from his feet, felt dizzy, scared, foaming mouth filled with rage and confusion, he uttered ''rob, you traitor....'' and he fell on the ground, as he collapsed.
bb10 could not watch any longer. he now had to act, or at least ask for a reasonable explanation.

bb10: why thou kind sir, hast footed your friend's ballensacken?
rob: what? speak, louder, thou fool!
bb10: WHY HAST THOU SLAMMED YOUR FRIENDS DOORKNOB'S, SIRE?
rob: ''ah'', he said.
simple, because he hast annoyed me with his silly dancing. plus, he was waving not one, not three, but TWO CD's in front of his face.
bb10: so?
rob:it insults my religion!
bb10: ah, i see.
rob: what do thou see?
bb10: LOL SI THOU
rob: what? I WILL KILLETH YOU-
bbtenius slaps robert and kicks him in the balleth-sacken.
rob screams words of wrath, and he is trying to grab bbtenius, who is out of reach, and after a few seconds, he(rob) collapses on the floor, with his mouth foaming, and with his hair being curly.
bb10: justice hast been served.
rob: what? what do you see in this? whta do you see in the justice?
bb10: i see... i see.... (the camera gets closer to bbtenius face now)
LOL SI U

end

add those two for a start, my old friend!
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: RobClock on July 29, 2013, 05:28:05 PM
BB10, I would be honored if you would write an introductory prologue for the book.
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: patriotclock on July 29, 2013, 06:39:25 PM
Cc fb page lmao
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: RobClock on July 29, 2013, 07:55:56 PM
Quote from: FloundermanClock;1956227Once I'm back I'd love to do something for this. Maybe throw in my old disgusting fanfics too.

Quote from: Soup Clock;1956228I wrote that sex story a while back, I'd like to enter that into a novel.

Excellent, I was really hoping that there would be enough to fill a full chapter with 'erotica'.
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: BilliardBall10 on July 30, 2013, 05:23:51 AM
Quote from: RobClock;1956231BB10, I would be honored if you would write an introductory prologue for the book.

sure thing! just tell me, should i talk about the book, or about the CC's history in spam?
give me a lead here.(a few tips, on where to start on)
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: RobClock on July 30, 2013, 06:26:24 AM
Quote from: BilliardBall10;1956248sure thing! just tell me, should i talk about the book, or about the CC's history in spam?
give me a lead here.(a few tips, on where to start on)

The CC's history of spam, I'd say. Maybe talk about the relevance of the books creation to the subject.
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: BilliardBall10 on July 30, 2013, 03:12:07 PM
Quote from: RobClock;1956249The CC's history of spam, I'd say. Maybe talk about the relevance of the books creation to the subject.

ok, now i have a good plan in my head, and i will write the foreword/prologue.
it will focus about the CC's history in spam, a few spamming meothods, and how few of them shocked(or inspired) the newgrounds audience as we know it.

also, what is the relevance of the book towards the subject? except if you mean that i should talk about how this book is related with spam, and that it has alot of relevance to internet spam, and it's history in the cc chronicles.
in that case, i got it.

also, what's my deadline? im writing a few paragraphs right now.

LASTLY, your link to the old thread doesnt work, can you fix the link/redirect me to the old thread?
humm
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: BilliardBall10 on July 30, 2013, 04:27:35 PM
ALSO:

we shoudl include kodiak's idea of a duck.fla animation in the pageflip, and to add this in one chapter:
"Well as we started making out, she unzipped my pants, put her hand on my dick and as soon as she touched it I immediately came and started farting. It was really awkward. I just looked at the floor the whole time and waited for it all to end. When it finally did she just gave me this look of disgust and left."

AND THIS: (made by schnozz-berry)
''STRAWBERRY CLOCK IS KING OF THE PORTAL. YOU WILL OBEY STRAWBERRY CLOCK. STRAWBERRY CLOCK HAS AUTHORED SUCH FLASH MASTERPIECES AS ââ,¬ËœDONALD DUCK PORNOââ,¬â,,¢ AND ââ,¬ËœHOW DA BITCH STOLE XMASââ,¬â,,¢. YOU WILL VOTE FIVE ON THESE MOVIES. YOU WILL VOTE FIVE ON ALL STRAWBERRY CLOCK MOVIES. FAILURE TO VOTE FIVE ON ALL STRAWBERRY CLOCK MOVIES WILL RESULT IN YOUR DESTRUCTION AT THE HAND OF STRAWBERRY CLOCK. STRAWBERRY CLOCK IS THE GREATEST ARTIST WHO EVER HAS AND EVER WILL LIVE. IF ALL OTHER HISTORICALLY REMARKABLE ARTISTS WERE TO CHALLENGE STRAWBERRY CLOCK, STRAWBERRY CLOCK WOULD WIN. STRAWBERRY CLOCK IS JUST AND RIGHT. STRAWBERRY CLOCK CHERISHES ALL LIFE THAT STRAWBERRY CLOCK DEEMS WORTHY. EXAMPLES OF LIFE THAT STRAWBERRY CLOCK DOES NOT DEEM WORTHY INCLUDE STAG BEETLES, NAKED MOLE RATS, CARROT CLOCK, BELGIANS, AND ALL WHO DEFY STRAWBERRY CLOCK. SUCH THINGS WILL BE ERADICATED WITH GREAT IMPUNITY BY STRAWBERRY CLOCK.''

and
 wrench clocks  detailed novelisation of Strawberry Clock V. we should add that too.

and DEFINATELLY THIS:
http://www.clockcrew.cc/talk/showthread.php?59565-loonatics&highlight=

VCR's threads are always a classic dose of epic
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: VuBawlsClock on July 31, 2013, 12:32:42 AM
redid my story

QuoteHe didn't know when to stop, the pain and thrill were as sharp as the screams that followed the needle as it traveled through his flesh. He could feel within every push of the metal rod the agony that fell upon his observor as she cringed with the recorder. She told him to stop, pleaded with all her might, but he kept on. He had to prove himself that one when the time comes, so will he. When finally the needle struck the right nerve, a smile bestowed upon his face. He whisperd in her ear for her to take it out. Simply pluck it. An eerie look shot across her but after some overtime he pursuaded her to take the leap of faith and do the dirty deed.

   As she slowly pulled it out, he observed as her hair follicles started growing. With a final yank, the needle sored out from his chest, glistering in the light. With a quick utter of a few words, he snatched the needle from her trembling hands and stuck it into her forehead. Encased in darkness, she shouted to the top of her lungs the very words he muttered before. Now that the final seal was broken, he was no longer needed for he was a champion in the eyes of his Lord. After it was over, they disapered into the night (or day I'm not really sure what time it was) never to be heard from again. Nobody was told the story ever. Ever.

also redid this
(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/82460815/coatofarmsredux.png)
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: RobClock on July 31, 2013, 10:33:16 AM
Quote from: BilliardBall10;1956258ok, now i have a good plan in my head, and i will write the foreword/prologue.
it will focus about the CC's history in spam, a few spamming meothods, and how few of them shocked(or inspired) the newgrounds audience as we know it.

also, what is the relevance of the book towards the subject? except if you mean that i should talk about how this book is related with spam, and that it has alot of relevance to internet spam, and it's history in the cc chronicles.
in that case, i got it.

also, what's my deadline? im writing a few paragraphs right now.

LASTLY, your link to the old thread doesnt work, can you fix the link/redirect me to the old thread?
humm

Yeah thats what i was hoping for. As far as a deadline goes, i was hoping to get all the parts in by the end of august.

thanks for pointing out the link was broken. i fixed it.
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: AbbaZabaClock on July 31, 2013, 12:06:55 PM
*Insert the Abbaspamtacular here*
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: VirusClock on July 31, 2013, 04:21:35 PM
I will submit something. How many pages are we allocated? How much will it cost in the end? Any specs on the machinery that's printing this?
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: BilliardBall10 on July 31, 2013, 05:16:43 PM
i strongly suggest that we should include kodiak's idea of a duck.fla animation in the pageflip, it would look awesome, and so fitting for this book.
 and to also add this in one chapter:
VCR's epic loonatics thread (check the link, it's a great spam thread made by VCR ages ago, and it SHOUDL be included in the book:
 i mean look at THIS:
http://www.clockcrew.cc/talk/showthread.php?59565-loonatics

VCR's threads are always a classic dose of epic, so if you're listening, rob, add this into your CC book, now!
http://www.clockcrew.cc/talk/showthread.php?59565-loonatics

and we could always add
 wrench clocks  detailed novelisation of Strawberry Clock V. we should add that too, imo
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: RobClock on August 04, 2013, 02:25:22 PM
BB10 got in his prologue. If anybody else has their part ready, shoot it to me in an email at Roberthyde22(at)hotmail(dot)com, or just post it here like a pleb.
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: BilliardBall10 on August 10, 2013, 06:07:48 PM
is this thing still on?
if so, i have two entries to add:

1. the ''I AM A MAN'' chronicles, and the epic comic that started it all:

(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg29.imageshack.us%2Fimg29%2F4416%2Fnmf0.png&hash=24897c62fe59e4a9fd306d6c6b420b0ec332d2ce)


2. my pokeymon quote:

''so, in the start there was pokemon. then, it got copied by digimon, which got copied by yugi-oh, which got copied by bakugans, which got copied by gormiti which got copied by monsuno. fuck''

3.
my (not-so)famous sword epoch, teh poem of bb10 and the worm (friendship)

i am bb10, and i've got a sword, i walk to the hill, and i say ''what, a worm?!''
i feel unstable, i cant control my feet, i only wonder who i will defeat.
i scream and shout: ''thee worm, do you want to taste my sword?'' and to which it replies: ''no, sire, i will take your word.''
i am struck with a wild fascination, that this worm has a good pronunciation.
so, i ask it this and that,
and after all that i strike a bat.
we talk, and fight, battle and we joke and we again talk, and
we eventually see that the war is a hoax
we become friends, and we teach each other respect and admiration,
and we really do see, the friendships grand creation!

the end

----------

here you go. i will
think of more to add/remember to post.
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: RobClock on August 20, 2013, 07:44:09 AM
Quote from: VirusClock;1956291I will submit something. How many pages are we allocated? How much will it cost in the end? Any specs on the machinery that's printing this?

That's an important post I missed.

As far as specs are concerned; I was looking at lulu.com, and in that case the max page number is 800, printed on standard US trade paper, in a casewrap hardcover binding. Full color covers, black and white pages. The price varies on the number of pages. With 24 pages the price is $11.27, with the max 800, it's $34.65 (Canadian).

Someone told me we should use a different site that allows for the book to be on Amazon, which I should definetly look into before publishing it. And in that case, I'm not entirely sure.

But in either case, there's nowhere near enough submissions thusfar that I feel I should be putting limits on people. If you have something to submit, regardless of length, please, by all means, submit it.




also; bump.
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: PhantomCatClock on August 20, 2013, 10:22:15 AM
I thought Lulu DID allow your book to be on Amazon
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: BilliardBall10 on August 21, 2013, 10:00:58 AM
Quote from: RobClock;1957982That's an important post I missed.

As far as specs are concerned; I was looking at lulu.com, and in that case the max page number is 800, printed on standard US trade paper, in a casewrap hardcover binding. Full color covers, black and white pages. The price varies on the number of pages. With 24 pages the price is $11.27, with the max 800, it's $34.65 (Canadian).

Someone told me we should use a different site that allows for the book to be on Amazon, which I should definetly look into before publishing it. And in that case, I'm not entirely sure.

But in either case, there's nowhere near enough submissions thusfar that I feel I should be putting limits on people. If you have something to submit, regardless of length, please, by all means, submit it.
also; bump.
hmmm... yes. we MUST get this book on amazon, for it will be easier to be seen, noticed, and sold.
does lulu works with amazon, or not?

also, rob, please reply to me on that, will you also add those things in the book? the articles that i submitted in here earlier?

here i quote what i posted:


Quote from: BilliardBall10;1956790is this thing still on?
if so, i have 3 entries to add:

1. the ''I AM A MAN'' chronicles, and the epic comic that started it all:




2. my pokemon quote:

''so, in the start there was pokemon. then, it got copied by digimon, which got copied by yugi-oh, which got copied by bakugans, which got copied by gormiti which got copied by monsuno. fuck''

3.
my (not-so)famous sword epoch, the poem of bb10 and the worm (about friendship)

i am bb10, and i've got a sword, i walk to the hill, and i say ''what, a worm?!''
i feel unstable, i cant control my feet, i only wonder who i will defeat.
i scream and shout: ''thee worm, do you want to taste my sword?'' and to which it replies: ''no, sire, i will take your word.''
i am struck with a wild fascination, that this worm has a good pronunciation.
so, i ask it this and that,
and after all that i strike a bat.
we talk, and fight, battle and we joke and we again talk, and
we eventually see that the war is a hoax
we become friends, and we teach each other respect and admiration,
and we really do see, the friendships grand creation!

the end

----------

here you go. i will
think of more to add to this book.posted.

ok, so yeah. if you find time, tell me if those things will be added in the book, and if you want me to help you find publishers, just ask, rob!

no matter if lulu works with amazon or not, we must get this book on amazon. it will be a good move, sir
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: Lump Clock on August 21, 2013, 10:04:24 PM
I think I will try to write things for this.
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: RobClock on August 21, 2013, 10:48:37 PM
Quote from: Lump Clock;1958124I think I will try to write things for this.

{{{lump}}}
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: BilliardBall10 on October 19, 2013, 12:03:35 PM
bump. more things must be added in this thing. the book must be completed!
come on guys, give him some parts!
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: BilliardBall10 on October 21, 2013, 02:30:10 PM
bump. we shoudl wrap this thing up, we can do it guys!
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: BilliardBall10 on October 22, 2013, 11:35:41 AM
bump. guys! will someone tell me the progress of this project, or has this died, AGAIN?

ok, i will not let this to die! i will fight until it reaches the bookselves of amazon!
Title: CC Spam Novel
Post by: BilliardBall10 on October 24, 2013, 10:20:08 AM
bump.

i just found this story in ''cc's biggest thread''.
it is named NH3 and its a M-M sex story by SOBE-clock.

-------------------------
NH3
Nitrogen started taking off his jacket exposing his hard firm body

ââ,¬Å"B-but Nitrogen, we canââ,¬â,,¢t. What will you even be adding to me?ââ,¬Â Hydrogen asked laying on the petri dish with his legs wide open.

ââ,¬Å"Donââ,¬â,,¢t worry Hydrogen, Iââ,¬â,,¢ll only be adding 1 atom.ââ,¬Â Nitrogen said stroking Hydrogenââ,¬â,,¢s cheek.

ââ,¬Å"T-then I should only add 3 atoms!ââ,¬Â Hydrogen said nervously. ââ,¬Å"Because then thatââ,¬â,,¢ll only make NH3.ââ,¬Â

ââ,¬Å"NH3?ââ,¬Â Nitrogen asked seductivley. ââ,¬Å"Why Ammonia?ââ,¬Â

ââ,¬Å"I-I donââ,¬â,,¢t knowââ,¬Â¦Ã¢â,¬Â Hydrogen turned his head away from Nitrogenââ,¬â,,¢s deep eyes.

ââ,¬Å"Then letââ,¬â,,¢s make NH3ââ,¬Â Nitrogen lifted up Hydrogenââ,¬â,,¢s legs exposing him. He thrusted gently.

ââ,¬Å"Ah!ââ,¬Â Hydrogen let out a moan.

ââ,¬Å"3 atoms feels good.ââ,¬Â Nitrogen smirked.

He thrust deeper and deeper until finally, they became NH3.
---------