(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpuu.sh%2Fk4MSu%2F29937a6f30.jpg&hash=c0fe1cf4791cab9011a021e22710832aea1e2744)
Thoughts?
do it. shower with dad
Remember not to use your teeth
Screenshots plz.
Well, this is surprising.
Forewarning: Dad penis everywhere.
(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpuu.sh%2Fk5G9g%2F9f16e6a2dd.jpg&hash=e70cea8241a8cb950a745ed425474976e0959686)
Apparently this is an arcade game of sorts. You play as a small child that is obviously one of the sons of the three dads shown on screen, and the goal of the game is to wobble your way towards the correct dad. Once the correct dad is interacted with, the dads reposition themselves across the game screen, and you are to repeat that process over again. As the levels go on, the game throws obstacles at you, such as wet floors. And at one point I believe the dads become shielded by a shower curtain leaving you to guess who your real dad is. Choosing the wrong dad results in a game over.
(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpuu.sh%2Fk5GbF%2F47700061dd.jpg&hash=9fd9d91ce07cf516bd0f476c08e13a0e469e1692)
Further into the game I found that power-ups can be unlocked. A bar of soap allows you to score more points when you find your way to your real father. While taking these screenshots I recently unlocked a straight razor. I have yet to determine what it does but I believe it might be something gruesome.
(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpuu.sh%2Fk5GaI%2Fb84e461d3d.jpg&hash=35cf43dfeb7ed559298358e3e5e960193b7d537e)
(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpuu.sh%2Fk5Gmd%2F6bdfe29a64.jpg&hash=772cf585c6f761e9a01aac82db572b465e4eb246)
But no game about showering with your dad is complete without any dad jokes. And this game offers an abundance of them each time you choose a game mode. Here's a couple examples:
(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpuu.sh%2Fk5Gha%2F8cab1cc3dd.jpg&hash=3d1cbfb6b56d2964a6ad840f610824203091a687)
(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpuu.sh%2Fk5Gdy%2F41650aa84e.jpg&hash=038d20614bb3879786b1e516bd9cebc4c48f00b9)
And my personal favorite...
(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpuu.sh%2Fk5Gjt%2F60e4574eea.jpg&hash=e11a169934b98aac4675741553ac3aa93428d834)
(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FeeycQeQ.png&hash=7ca9691c50b006417172913da41adb14d1838dfb)
So I figured out what the straight razor does.
(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpuu.sh%2Fk88Hv%2Fdde3f440e9.jpg&hash=7231c10830250d1c79951701ed9be041fbe6f588)
Apparently all it does it shave the dads. Other than that nothing much else.
Anyway, I came across some weird shit (No, it's not the fact that I'm playing a game in which the main objective is to shower with dad.)
While I was doing just a regular playthrough of the game as the black child when all of the sudden all the showers disappeared and it was replaced with a bathtub. I didn't screenshot it at the time but when I went into the bathtub, the black child suddenly donned this strange helmet and suddenly I was transported to this:
(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpuu.sh%2Fk897i%2F72a65b8d68.jpg&hash=ef895304b013a38b8814507f868854679858a6c0)
Dads would constantly fly by the screen in this strange eldritch green wireframe-looking world and everytime I, for lack of better words, "drove" over one with my bathtub the meter at the top would fill up. Eventually that meter filled up all the way and the screen suddenly flashed:
(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpuu.sh%2Fk89kI%2Ff14016da7e.jpg&hash=4e7c5ab6eed2808a6010a6ba87cb10675ad74d94)
After that, the "Dadloadable content" on the menu screen unlocked, revealing itself to be a new minigame entitled:
(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpuu.sh%2Fk89oO%2Fab8685d1fc.jpg&hash=d950578d20dc8cb5666ec076dea9bf60b2cb5b32)
Wow. Just wow. Anyhow, when I opened up this new minigame, I was greeted with the black child sitting in a bathtub that was flying as if it were a plane.
(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpuu.sh%2Fk89uP%2F8d9e17be69.jpg&hash=510e2ad313959930d1b5d599e8f8bc51ec55930c)
The game involved constantly tapping the up button in order to keep yourself in the air while occasionally tapping the right button in order to take out opposing bathtub-planes (that have one of the other dads seated in them) while flying over bathtubs that contained the black dad.
Long story short I beat it and was greeted with the most fantastic ending in video game history:
(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpuu.sh%2Fk89Jy%2F87f1153729.jpg&hash=f5c786bab1c69104d66bccc4d5286f8dcb6e7b84)
Followed by this screen:
(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpuu.sh%2Fk89Ox%2Fe35d351317.jpg&hash=46e934dbef92b7be8ca56b28d7d50c77fa3ac0a3)
And thus this concludes the chapter in my life in which I played a game that involved children showering with their fathers and posting about it on the Clock Crew forums accompanied by fourteen pictures.
I'll go back to working on flash now.
dad fractions
Quote from: Phonograph on September 11, 2015, 11:04:44 PM
suddenly I was transported to this:
(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpuu.sh%2Fk897i%2F72a65b8d68.jpg&hash=ef895304b013a38b8814507f868854679858a6c0)
Dads would constantly fly by the screen in this strange eldritch green wireframe-looking world and everytime I, for lack of better words, "drove" over one with my bathtub the meter at the top would fill up. Eventually that meter filled up all the way and the screen suddenly flashed:
(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpuu.sh%2Fk89kI%2Ff14016da7e.jpg&hash=4e7c5ab6eed2808a6010a6ba87cb10675ad74d94)
For some reason this made me imagine that this game was somehow like the arcade game in
The Last Starfighter and some secret government organization created it to recruit the best dad shavers in the world.