Clock Crew

So my fuck-up college has decided this week is christmas week, hurray, which means we can't work on important stuff which we need to finish in order to pass this schoolyear, and instead work on a bullshit jesus-related project for a week. We started off the day with the "kick-off". This is how shit went down:

9.14 am - I enter the school premises. I see a good friend on the schoolyard. He calls for me and we, being the 2 out of maybe 10 non-religious people at my school, both fear what's to be expected of us.

9.15 am - That awful bell rings. Why is it called a bell? It's a fucking buzzer. The sort of buzzer you hear when you miss a question on a gameshow. It's like someone tells you you're a loser every 45 minutes, just before you realise it just means the end of that particular class.

9.17 am - The grand cafeteria is full. There's a beamer pointed at a large screen.
This is when things went horribly, terribly wrong.

9.18 am - SINGING, ANGEL'S VOICES, THE TYPE OF HEAVENLY MUSIC YOU EXPECT IN ONE OF MOBY'S LESS FUN SONGS. The fucking pope is being projected on the beamer. No movie, just a big ass picture of the pope.
This goes on for TEN FULL MINUTES.

9.30 am - If someone offered me a shotgun I would've happily shot myself. Only after taking the DJ's life though. Fortunately the music ends and the pope is gone. Some dude with a mic walks in. "WHAT DOES JESUS MEAN TO YOU?" he spits in some guys face. "My saviour" (this sounds about 10x as gay in dutch, probably because I've never heard someone actually say this before).

He asks a couple more people and all of them are like "my best friend" or "my lord" or "my god" or "my guide".

Me and about 5-10 other people in school are alone. Alone against an army of religious nutcakes.

haha why does your school have a buzzer,  don't you guys have watches or something.

Quote from: PirateClock;1459728haha why does your school have a buzzer,  don't you guys have watches or something.

We have a bell that kills our ears.

lol @ your parents

I'm buying you a shotgun.

SUDDENLY, HYDRALISKS - THIRTY OF THEM
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man that woudl ahve sucked so bad i would have gone up and punched the guy

man religion is just this disgsuting corporate mind-set to blind us civilians from knowing the TRUTH man

That sucks ass. I'd complain to the Dean or whatever about Religious Discrimination.

You should wear little devil horns. Don't say anything anti-religeous or be rude or anything, just wear them and act confused when people ask about them.



Either that or at lunch or whatever pardon yourself and say you must pray to your firey lord and master then close your eyes and start humming

Quote from: Poltergeisty;1459765You should wear little devil horns. Don't say anything anti-religeous or be rude or anything, just wear them and act confused when people ask about them.

This.

And any time someone says 'god' or 'lord' or anything religious blow the devil horn once or twice, not obnoxious though, just a little "toot-toot" and if the religious people say anything about it be like "what?"

Even better just have a cross and when you step in gum or something use it to scrape the gum off your shoe

Quote from: Poltergeisty;1459775Even better just have a cross and when you step in gum or something use it to scrape the gum off your shoe

hahaha that'd be great too, but i don't find gum getting stuck to my shoe very often these days.

Quote from: Dagwood;1459777hahaha that'd be great too, but i don't find gum getting stuck to my shoe very often these days.

That's why you always carry some silly

christmas

Is this a specifically Catholic college? If so, why are you complaining? You could have gone somewhere else.
I wish Christmas could be celebrated publicly over here, but it isn't "PC" enough anymore.

E: I forgot college has a totally different meaning to you people. Still, you probably could be somewhere else.

Quote from: TruncheonClock;1459738SUDDENLY, HYDRALISKS - THIRTY OF THEM

This is seriously what I was thinking about when I read the title.

Haha, sucks to be you then, why'd you go to some religious zealot school anyway?

There was only one school in which I was surrounded by christians and that was elementary school, back then I was an all-believing child too so I guess it wasn't that bad.

For so far I've seen there was only one religious teenager in the city who wasn't a muslim.
In the beggining, whenever he prayed we would do something hilarious with him.

There's one of the reasons I'm not religious, at least not Catholic. They just shove their stuff down your throats.

Quote from: DiscoBallClock;1459835There's one of the reasons I'm not religious, at least not Catholic. They just shove their stuff down your throats.

If he's at a Catholic high school, that's not shoving anything, you bigot.

Quote from: DiscoBallClock;1459835There's one of the reasons I'm not religious, at least not Catholic. They just shove their dingen down your throats.

From the religion's that can really call themselfs religions, the christians are still the best of the whole lot.

Quote from: Joey 06892;1459837If he's at a Catholic high school, that's not shoving anything, you bigot.

depends, if you went there on your own accord then no, you were asking for it, although a catholic school could be closer to his home, making it a better choice when compared to other schools despite getting this stuff shoved into his face obviously against his will.

If your parents send you to a catholic school around the same age you still believed in santa and the toothfairy however, in that case I would call it shoving.

Quote from: Obroxious Groovebag;1459839depends, if you went there on your own accord then no, you were asking for it, although a catholic school could be closer to his home, making it a better choice when compared to other schools despite getting this stuff shoved into his face obviously against his will.

If your parents send you to a catholic school around the same age you still believed in santa and the toothfairy however, in that case I would call it shoving.

This. Also, he didn't specify whether he was or not in a catholic school.
But if he is, then I admit you're right, Marlin:o

That's why I said "If".

Interesting fact: Christianity was originally a jewish sect.

Only slightly relevant, but interesting none the less

Quote from: GearBoxClock;1459871Interesting fact: Christianity was originally a jewish sect.

Only slightly relevant, but interesting none the less

Point:?

Quote from: Joey 06892;1459873Point:?

None really. Just a little known fact.

So, back to the point:
By re-reading Heineken's first post, I can assume he attends a Christian school.
"So my fuck-up college..."
"...being the 2 out of maybe 10 non-religious people at my school..."

Actually a major problem with Christian schools (especially Jesuit ones) is that they are practically secular.

Quote from: GearBoxClock;1459876None really. Just a little known fact.

Actually I'm pretty sure every christian with half a brain knows that.

Quote from: DiscoBallClock;1459883So, back to the point:
By re-reading Heineken's first post, I can assume he attends a Christian school.
"So my fuck-up college..."
"...being the 2 out of maybe 10 non-religious people at my school..."

And I assume Catholic, seeing as they showed the Pope.

Quote from: Joey 06892;1459905And I assume Catholic, seeing as they showed the Pope.

Yup. Now we just need Heineken's post to make this issue clear.

Quote from: Joey 06892;1459902Actually I'm pretty sure every christian with half a brain knows that.

So its little known.

Quote from: GearBoxClock;1459911So its little known.

zing

Quote from: YoYoClock;1459913zing

I'm a edgy teen zing, more like.

Quote from: Joey 06892;1459917I'm a edgy teen zing, more like.

still a zing, albeit I'm a edgy teen

Quote from: Joey 06892;1459917I'm a edgy teen zing, more like.

Actually it was pretty good I thought haha

Quote from: ButtplugClock;1459922Actually it was pretty good I thought haha

It was stupid and witless, and I don't see how anyone besides a self-righteous atheist would see otheriwise.

catholicism is second only to scientology as the shittiest religion ever.

Quote from: peyote;1459952catholicism is second only to scientology as the shittiest religion ever.

Agreed with the Scientology part.

Quote from: DiscoBallClock;1459953Agreed with the Scientology part.

.

praise odin

Oh i mean satan

oh wait I'm a edgy teen christians of any sect think that paganism=satanism so it doesnt matter

Quote from: Joey 06892;1459941It was stupid and witless, and I don't see how anyone besides a self-righteous atheist would see otheriwise.

fUCk u man u always hatin on my religin you atghiest FUck

Solution:
Stop going to school, especially since you don't seem to be learning anyway.

Quote from: RomanClock;1460278Solution:
Stop going to school, especially since you don't seem to be learning anyway.

I learned that homosexuality is disease and it's ok to beat women in school.


I think that education/state and religion should be 100% separated. No catholic bullshit school, i went to a catholic elementary school. Why? because it was the only school in a 10 mile radius. If you want to learn about Christianity, Islam or Harry Potter do it in your own time and on your own expenses.

I LEARNED ABOUT BUDDHISM IN SCHOOL

Quote from: Joey 06892;1459941It was stupid and witless, and I don't see how anyone besides a self-righteous atheist would see otheriwise.

So I am a self righteous atheist now?

Quote from: Heliopios;1459964Oh i mean satan

oh wait I'm a edgy teen christians of any sect think that paganism=satanism so it doesnt matter

I actually was brought up to believe that ha ha.

Quote from: Joey 06892;1459785Is this a specifically Catholic college? If so, why are you complaining? You could have gone somewhere else.
I wish Christmas could be celebrated publicly over here, but it isn't "PC" enough anymore.

E: I forgot college has a totally different meaning to you people. Still, you probably could be somewhere else.

This is seriously what I was thinking about when I read the title.

Quote from: Obroxious Groovebag;1459827Haha, sucks to be you then, why'd you go to some religious zealot school anyway?

I don't really have much of a choice - the college course I'm following is pretty rare and I have to travel 80km's to get there, and the first non-religious school that offers it is even further away. Also I knew these people were christians but I've never seen so much praise given before, and all my teachers suddenly appear to be part of the "slightly-eerily-fanatical" christian group.

I feel like I'm a main character in Invasion of the Body Snatchers and I'm one of the few that still has his own will.

Suck it up Heineken. You can't be tolerant of people celebrating their religion within their own grounds?

Quote from: PirateClock;1460334I learned that homosexuality is disease and it's ok to beat women in school.


I think that education/state and religion should be 100% separated. No catholic bullshit school, i went to a catholic elementary school. Why? because it was the only school in a 10 mile radius. If you want to learn about Christianity, Islam or Harry Potter do it in your own time and on your own expenses.

?
 I don't think that's fair to deny groups from setting up their own schools.

UGH GUYS YOU JUST DON'T GET RELIGION JUST SHUT UP ALREADY OK!!!!

Quote from: LOG CABIN CLOCKTOPIAN;1460464MY LIFE FOR AIUR

EN TARO ADUN

Arguments about religion are gay. Sure the pope looks a little like Robert Blake in a pimp suit, but who cares? Get over it fuckface.

waar de neuk ga jij naar school?

also, hi bitches. GET IN THE CHAT

Quote from: SCSP;1460498waar de neuk ga jij naar school?

Drachten of all places. The only ghost-city of the Netherlands. When you see someone walking in the town center you can be 90% sure that person is headed for the coffeeshop, because that's the only part of Drachten that seems to get people out of their homes.

Quote from: Joey 06892;1460446Suck it up Heineken. You can't be tolerant of people celebrating their religion within their own grounds?
?
 I don't think that's fair to deny groups from setting up their own schools.

Would you like Satanists to set-up schools?

Quote from: GearBoxClock;1460765Would you like Satanists to set-up schools?

What makes you think I believe freedom is reserved for catholics or something?

Quote from: AbsintheClock;1460467Arguments about religion are gay. Sure the pope looks a little like Robert Blake in a pimp suit, but who cares? Get over it fuckface.

coincidence, i think not!

Quote from: GearBoxClock;1460765Would you like Satanists to set-up schools?

I tried to imagine a Satanist school, and it seems like it would be the awesomest place in the world.

But seriously, I don't think religions should get to run schools. Aren't religious buildings like churches enough?

lets see what the arguments here are:
-dont have religious schools
-let people force religion on us

they both sound p stupid

No one in that school is forcing anything, they are merely expressing their faith. I'm sorry if that's too scary for you or something.

Quote from: Joey 06892;1461062No one in that school is forcing anything, they are merely expressing their faith. I'm sorry if that's too scary for you or something.

Yet your kind condemn people who do things outside your comfort zone, such as being gay.

Quote from: Heliopios;1461064Yet your kind condemn people who do things outside your comfort zone, such as being gay.

How is that comparable?

build more farms to continue unit production

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I remember "you must construct additional pylons" but I forgot where it's from, and google only spews out 4chan shit.

Quote from: HeinekenClock;1461084I remember "you must construct additional pylons" but I forgot where it's from, and google only spews out 4chan shit.

Starcraft, brosef.

Quote from: HeinekenClock;1461084I remember "you must construct additional pylons" but I forgot where it's from, and google only spews out 4chan shit.

how dumb are you. Yes it's from 4chan, blizzard copied it and modeled the protoss after the 4chan motivational posters.

Quote from: PirateClock;1461105how dumb are you. Yes it's from 4chan, blizzard copied it and modeled the protoss after the 4chan motivational posters.

accuracy at 100%

Quote from: HeinekenClock;1461084I remember "you must construct additional pylons" but I forgot where it's from, and google only spews out 4chan shit.

Yeah, I wonder where all the other StarCraft related references in this thread have come from to...

OMG, MAYBE IT'S STARCRAFT.

Quote from: Joey 06892;1461158Yeah, I wonder where all the other StarCraft related references in this thread have come from to...

OMG, MAYBE IT'S STARCRAFT.

like fuck you get starcraft quotes from starcraft.
g2sk00l ):<

Quote from: Joey 06892;1461068How is that comparable?

the gay people aren't forcing anything onto you just expressing their love, i'm sorry if that is too scary for you or something.

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Athiests

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Quote from: HeinekenClock;1459727Alone against an army of religious nutcakes.

Fuck you. From the bottom of my heart, fuck you.

Also all of Moby's songs are fun so fuck you once more

Quote from: coal;1461290Fuck you. From the bottom of my heart, fuck you.

Also all of Moby's songs are fun so fuck you once more

Hey hey setel downe. I don't mean to offend anyone it's just that these people take it too fucking far. What's the next step, going into trance in the cafeteria, speaking in tongues? Also moby has shitty songs, not a lot but he definitely has shitty songs:

My Weakness
The Sky is Broken
Down Slow
7

Four shitty songs from moby from his first album alone.

i will KILL you >: (

Quote from: coal;1461329i will KILL you >: (

Edited post to confirm shitty songs.

Quote from: coal;1461329i will KILL you >: (

watch out Heineken, coal will do it

i will

Quote from: corpsegrinderAtheists are just people who are too lazy to spell "metaphysical naturalist"

Or they're just atheists, people that denounce any and all gods/heavenly creatures/flying spaghetti monsters.

how dare you bring blaspheme to the name of the flying spaghetti monsters

Quote from: peyote;1461171the gay people aren't forcing anything onto you just expressing their love, i'm sorry if that is too scary for you or something.

It would only be comparable if he were going to a gay school.

ATHEISTS

Thread requires more vespene gas

Quote from: Roman Collar Clock;1461193

He gets his ass whupped pretty hard.

I think this one is pretty funny.

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There's one like it against theism out there as well.

Quote from: Roman Collar Clock;1461846I think this one is pretty funny.



There's one like it against theism out there as well.

I thought I had both saved but apparently I don't, so here's this






PS: who would win in a boxing match, Pat Robertson or Richard Dawkins

Quote from: FloundermanClock;1461927

Well, to their defense, the only animals that they knew existed were the ones that lived in their area, so that's probably all they meant.

Also the whole "Through God, all things are possible." sorta sinks that on a theistic standpoint anyway.


And they sacrificed rams, not cows.

Quote from: LOG CABIN CLOCKTOPIAN;1461945Richard Dawkins is a pussy. Pat Robertson is the prince of darkness. Who do you THINK would win?

No antichrist powers, it's a straight boxing match.

Quote from: Marlin Clock;1461930Well, to their defense, the only animals that they knew existed were the ones that lived in their area, so that's probably all they meant.

Also the whole "Through God, all things are possible." sorta sinks that on a theistic standpoint anyway.


And they sacrificed rams, not cows.

So what happend to the animals they didn't know about, smartass.

Quote from: Obroxious Groovebag;1461960So what happend to the animals they didn't know about, smartass.

They died? Idno.

Quote from: RomanClock;1461378It would only be comparable if he were going to a gay school.

No you fucking idiot, it's comparable because marlin is asking for people to be acceptive of catholic faith, who are known in history as some of the biggest persecutors of everything and ethnic rapists.

Ethnic rapists? What does that even mean?

Quote from: Marlin Clock;1461992Ethnic rapists? What does that even mean?

You destroyed most of an entire generation of Muslims for a fucking city, you figure out what it means

Quote from: Heliopios;1461988biggest persecutors of everything and ethnic rapists.

Oh shut up.  You're not a racial/cultural separatist.  Stop pretending already.

Quote from: Roman Collar Clock;1462006Oh shut up.  You're not a racial/cultural separatist.  Stop pretending already.

Shame nothing you say is taken seriously because you're a flamboyant faggot and religious puppet.

OH THE EVIL WHITE PEOPLE MASSACRED ARAB MUSLIMS DURING THE FIRST CRUSADE BUT FOR SOME REASON I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE WHITE ARMENIANS MASSACRED BY THE OTTOMANS IN THE ARMENIAN HOLOCAUST

Quote from: LOG CABIN CLOCKTOPIAN;1462011Ah, blaming the distant descendants of people in a broad vague group for crimes committed hundreds of years before they were born. A classic.

No, that's not the point and you're not reading anything past the first two words.

The point is he wants tolerance for intolerant people.

Quote from: LOG CABIN CLOCKTOPIAN;1462011On that note have you shelled out your slavery reparations yet?

Well I payed my taxes last year, so I guess I have. lololololololololololol

Quote from: LOG CABIN CLOCKTOPIAN;1462008Numbers 18:17 - But the firstling of a cow, or the firstling of a sheep, or the firstling of a goat, thou shalt not redeem; they are holy: thou shalt sprinkle their blood upon the altar, and shalt burn their fat for an offering made by fire, for a sweet savour unto the LORD.

Is it just me or is that outlawing things like veal and lambchops?

well anyway