So I fucking caved, I'll admit that. I fucking hate this vampire fad recently. It's brought us shit like Moonlight, but on the other hand True Blood more than likely got the green light because of it, so meh. I decided I'd give it a try. Now, First thing I'd like to point out is the cover of the book.
Stephenie Meyer has stated that the apple on the cover represents the forbidden fruit. It symbolizes Bella and Edward's love, which is forbidden
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That is not symbolic, that is fucking stupid, I have no idea how something can be bothe idiotically vague and obvious and the same time. It has no actual relevence to the story whatsoever you stupid banshee, stop trying to be deep or controversial.
Then there's the actual fucking vampires. Jesus Christ, it's like reading preteen Sonic roleplay were each player tries to out-cool the others character, "My character can beat up yours because he has LASERS" - "MINE IS IMMORTAL" - "MINE IS SUPER IMMORTAL AND CAN KILL IMMORTALS" - and so on. Except in that case it's fun to read. In this book, vampires are immortal, can fly, don't have fangs, can go out in the sun, won't die if they get a steak through the heart and are a million times better at everything than regular people. That is fucking stupid, characters lacking flaws are boring, and magic lacking weakness is both childish and uninspired.
Then there is the fact nothing of note happens in the book, that deserves only this one line.
The characters are not only fucking whiny, but the main vampire guy is a complete fucking rip-off of the character of Rochester from Jane Eyre, who the stupid fucking bitch author admit to "inspiring" her. The only difference is Rochester was not a little fucking pussy.
Then there's the fact this shit is popular. If this book were not so acclaimed I probably wouldn't hate it so much, but come one, this is such a fucking awful heartless cash-in trying to be the next Harry Potter (but in this case skipping right to the "HARD COER MATOOR ages) is shamelss.
Finally, the worst part of this book, the author. Boy is this bitch one stupid fucking slag. She alone sets female authors back a good 20 years, and at least they got some respect due to Rowling. My God, I read this interview with her, and I cannot beleave she is a real person. Not only did she drunkenly stagger over each of the questions, she was pretentious and annoying. I cannot even fathom how it is even possible someone can be so far up their own ass, just read this, it has to be a joke;
Stephenie Meyer acknowledges other authors that inspired her. These include Jane Austen, Shakespeare, and Charlotte Bronte
WHAT THE FUCK. If you TRIED as hard as you fucking could, do you think you could come up with a more generic list of famous authors to say you were inspired by? That is the most bland, insulting shit I can think of for a writer, it sounds as if she just picked the three most important writers she could think of off the top of her head. There is no fucking way this woman could ever have any appreciation for any of those authors. I leave you with this final passage of mind-ripping agony.
Meyer admitte that whilst writing she enjoyed listening to her favorite band, Linkin Park
Twilight: All around the world, teenage girls now wish they were in abusive, dominated relationships.
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me and my friends have been referring to twilight as "that dracula movie," and, when pressed, refer to the draculas and the wolf mans and the dumb bitch main character. without fail everybody has known exactly what we mean.
I'm prolly never gonna read the books.
I barely even read good books, let alone something like twilight.
i don't think it's that popular over here. then again im not really into the whole underage girl scene..
When my family went to see Quantum of Solace for the second time there were miles of teenage girls and there was this gay midget coke addict enthusiastically checking tickets and dancing as he asked us if we were ready for Twilight.
About a week ago, I watched thirty seconds of it on YouTube and facepalmed after every line of dialogue and cried.
[u2]RMjyytZzT44[/u2]
Twilight: fantasy role play for 13 year old girls.
Quote from: Raleigh St. Clair;1469429How lame is our society that it has turned this into this?
As much as I love Dracula, if you think about it, it's really only explaining to the rich what is so horrible and scary about Nosferatu that is obvious to the poor. He is turned into a more direct role, not a bearer of mass plague, but a hunter of important, specific people, namely women your money can no longer protect. So while it was still awesome and scary for a while, it wasn't pure for very long.
OMG ROBERT PATTISNOGN MAKES ME WET
I refuse to read any of the Twilight books or see the movie.
Why the director who directed Thirteen (a very good movie) would shit away her reputation by making this tripe is beyond me.
Quote from: Hogarth Hughes;1469370Twilight: All around the world, teenage girls now wish they were in abusive, dominated relationships.
i wished i was in one of those before it was cool
Poltergeist you are a stronger man than I for subjecting yourself to the entire book.
Quote from: FloundermanClock;1494073Poltergeist you are a stronger man than I for subjecting yourself to the entire book.
I subjected myself to
The Da Vinci Code so that I could have authentic hate for it.
Quote from: Hogarth Hughes;1494091I subjected myself to The Da Vinci Code so that I could have authentic hate for it.
I didn't find it as irritating as I was told it would be. It's pretty much just a B grade action movie wrapped around Holy Blood, Holy Grail. Not great but not impossible to read.
Quote from: FloundermanClock;1494097I didn't find it as irritating as I was told it would be. It's pretty much just a B grade action movie wrapped around Holy Blood, Holy Grail. Not great but not impossible to read.
I also read Artemis Fowl. It was basically a book where we're supposed to sympathize with a complete asshole.
And that man is writing a sixth Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy book. I will kill him.
Quote from: Hogarth Hughes;1494099I also read Artemis Fowl. It was basically a book where we're supposed to sympathize with a complete asshole.
And that man is writing a sixth Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy book. I will kill him.
I've yet to read Artemis Fowl but I've heard he was writing the Hitchhiker sequel. I guess not even killing off every main character can stop fanfiction sequels.
I read Artemis Fowl for the fairy tech.
My philosophy is "don't openly knock it till you try it," but i'm not against silently loathing something from the vibes it gives off.
Quote from: Wind-up Clock;1494114I read Artemis Fowl for the fairy tech.
The impression I got from that whole thing was a bunch of people using crazy nuclear technology, and occasionally we're reminded "By the way, they're fairies". It wasn't that compelling. Only Foaly the centaur seemed like a very fantastical creature to me, probably because he has an amusing personality.
i knew it was shit the second i saw every freshman at my school squealing over the fact they were making a movie of it
All you guys say that these books are for little girls, but I know plenty of grown women who gobble this shit up. I actually work with a girl my age who want to get a Twilight tattoo on her arm, and all the female managers (there being 5 of them) love it too. I never hear the end of it.
Quote from: IceeClock;1494295All you guys say that these books are for little girls, but I know plenty of grown women who gobble this shit up. I actually work with a girl my age who want to get a Twilight tattoo on her arm, and all the female managers (there being 5 of them) love it too. I never hear the end of it.
This book is for people with estrogen. :(
Quote from: FloundermanClock;1494105I've yet to read Artemis Fowl but I've heard he was writing the Hitchhiker sequel. I guess not even killing off every main character can stop fanfiction sequels.
oh yeah i didnt finish those yet so thanks
Quote from: '[?;1494345']oh yeah i didnt finish those yet so thanks
But you don't know
how! :fez:
He did you a favour anyway; "Mostly Harmless" sucks. :(
Quote from: Hogarth Hughes;1494382But you don't know how! :fez:
I KEPT MYSELF SHELTERED I WANTED A FRESH EXPERIENCE BUT IT'S ALL UNDONE
Quote from: '[?;1494386']I KEPT MYSELF SHELTERED I WANTED A FRESH EXPERIENCE BUT IT'S ALL UNDONE
With Adams, it's not just knowing it happened, you have to know
HOW!
Quote from: Hogarth Hughes;1494388With Adams, it's not just knowing it happened, you have to know HOW!
omg
I finished Mostly Harmless a long time ago.
I read it again, just to make sure i got everything.
Then i was all like :wut:
Read The Illuminatus! Trilogy.
Its not that I refuse to read them or see the movie because they have a faggoty reputation, I just think the plot sounds ridiculously cliche and thus I'm uninterested.
you know a book is going to be shit when the author says that is dedicated to the band THE USED, who was the inspiration for the book.
I should ask my friend Michelle if she even has touched these, she is a bookworm but she better be picky as I am with games, I don't want her to be trendy D:
The vampires are not vampires. They don't suck blood, and they sparkle This is almost as bad as The Eye of Argon
I barely read any of it before returning it to the Library
Quote from: Hogarth Hughes;1494299This book is for people with estrogen. :(
Theres a pill for that :P
Quote from: ScrewdriverClock;1495965Theres a pill for that :P
There are pills to help people with a Twilight-hate deficiency?
Quote from: ScrewdriverClock;1495965Theres a pill for that :P
i have a hormonal imbalance and they're not any better
Pop-fiction in general is pretty shitty (read: books aimed at preteens-mid teens, about people of the same age, almost always focusing on magic or something [read: books trying to be next harry potter, but are usually "darker"])
Quote from: GearBoxClock;1495942The vampires are not vampires. They don't suck blood, and they sparkle This is almost as bad as The Eye of Argon
I barely read any of it before returning it to the Library
Elaborate!
Quote from: Poltergeisty;1497219Elaborate!
Allow me:
"You're beautiful!"
"I'm a monster! This is the skin of a killer!
*runs around at lighting speed*
You think you can outrun me?
*uproots trees with one hand*
You think you can defend yourself?"
Or so I heard.
:shifty:
Quote from: Poltergeisty;1497219Elaborate!
Kay. Both main characters as giant Mary Sues. Neither have any flaws that matter and I may have even seen a "So beautiful its a curse" type line. None of it was interesting in any way, none of the lines were original, and as far as I know, the only major plot twist is that that bitch that's the main character will gave birth to hellspawn because she had violent, unconscious sex with another Mary Sue. Apparently, near when the Mary Sues have sex, the bitch is knocked unconscious and wakes up with no memory of the event, and with bruises all over her body and at least a couple of broken bones.
Also,
Eye of Argon is known to be one of the worst novella's ever written. There are reading contests at conventions, where you have to try to read the entire thing out loud, without laughing. It is quite difficult.
I read Jane Eyre.
I fucking hated that book.
I haven't read Twilight but I hate it too.