Clock Crew

After much deliberation, we can at last read the stories for the newest writing contest! I gave it a couple of extensions to accommodate Bill Murray Week and Christmas, and I think it paid off.


The theme of this contest was to write a story with a gift as the inciting incident; the thing that gets the story going. Many of you interpreted the role of the gift differently, but it's all good.


You can read all the entries, and then send me your votes through PM in these five categories:

BEST OVERALL

• Just the best darn story in every respect.

BEST PLOT

• The one with the most intriguing course of events.

BEST STYLE

• The one that makes the most compelling use of language.

BEST USE OF THEME

• The one that really got the idea of what this contest was about.

LOLLERMASK (FUNNIEST)

• The one that made your sides split the hardest.

VoodooClock's entry will automatically win "Best Poetry", since it was the only poem entry.


Feel free to discuss the stories in this thread, but don't say who you voted for. Voter confidentiality is the glue that holds our society together!... or something. It's very important nonetheless.

Winners will be announced when enough votes are tabulated, so let's see what you got! Good luck, everyone!

Pssh I'm sure it's a coincidence that yours ended up on top!

Also I'd like to add that a few historical aspects were changed in my story to make it a bit more dramatic but most of it is true.

Good luck to everyone!

Quote from: Sombra;1482094Pssh I'm sure it's a coincidence that yours ended up on top!

Well it was the one I had the most immediate access to when I was preparing the voting document. It's only fair, though; in the old days, Sage always used to put me last. :p

Yours also takes up half the page. Why I aughta! (Although I do like it) Then again I like most of them.

Quote from: AbsintheClock;1482825Yours also takes up half the page.

Why do people always mention this first? I'm getting laughed at for being a hard worker. :(

Maybe I put it first because if I didn't, no one would have the energy to read it. ;)

i hope mine wins something !!!! but oh well, i wrote it on the day its due for fun

Boy you guys sure are voting. :)

Quote from: Hogarth Hughes;1484564Boy you guys sure are voting. :)

As a Canadian, I take that as highly offencive because it's sarcastic! :D

KEEP VOTING YOU WHORES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm having a hard time making my picks.

Snake, I read your story. You're a brilliant writer, far better than I might ever be, but you were sloppy on this one, to put it bluntly. Although I did like the moral of it. You really did a good job of summing up what I believe is wrong with the world. I guess what I mean is that the message was good, and the style was good, but there were glaring internal inconsistencies. For instance, Questun has never seen animals before the day that the story takes place, let alone learned about specific species of them, but he describes the craft as being shaped like a cat's head. How does he know what a cat's head looks like if he's never even heard of animals?
Yes, it was a grand story, but the details are where you should focus more of your attention. The details will always get you if you don't pay attention to them. Do you read your own stories after you finish writing them?  I don't mean any of this as an insult. I know that I'm definitely coming across as rude, but please, take this as I mean it: as constructive criticism. Mistakes like the ones you made will distract your readers. I know, because it distracted me enough for me to begin writing you this harsh critique before I finished the story.

:fifen:VOTE FIFEN ON SNAKE CLOCK'S STORY:fifen:

Thanks for the award. :this: I want my money in 24 hours from now.

Yeah I'm gonna get to reading them all soon, hopefully within 24 hours. And then I'll PM you my choices.

I already voted, and I think this contest came out swell. I liked most stories.

Quote from: Silly Putty Clock;1484887Snake, I read your story. You're a brilliant writer, far better than I might ever be, but you were sloppy on this one, to put it bluntly. Although I did like the moral of it. You really did a good job of summing up what I believe is wrong with the world. I guess what I mean is that the message was good, and the style was good, but there were glaring internal inconsistencies. For instance, Questun has never seen animals before the day that the story takes place, let alone learned about specific species of them, but he describes the craft as being shaped like a cat's head. How does he know what a cat's head looks like if he's never even heard of animals?
Yes, it was a grand story, but the details are where you should focus more of your attention. The details will always get you if you don't pay attention to them. Do you read your own stories after you finish writing them?  I don't mean any of this as an insult. I know that I'm definitely coming across as rude, but please, take this as I mean it: as constructive criticism. Mistakes like the ones you made will distract your readers. I know, because it distracted me enough for me to begin writing you this harsh critique before I finished the story.

:fifen:VOTE FIFEN ON SNAKE CLOCK'S STORY:fifen:

I'm pretty sure people on Construction Two are aware of domestic pets, since cats would be something that could be kept in the small dwellings. Construction Two may be isolated, but it's not alienated. They probably have pets, but not wildlife. Questun wasn't taught about animals since they're not relevant to life on Construction Two, but pets might be. He probably thinks "pets" and "animals" are two different things.

And it was kind of a commentary about how I wanted a kitten for Christmas. :(

Good thing there wasn't two minor things wrong with my story, or you might have launched into an even bigger tirade. I'm not sure if what you're pointing out will distract my readers, or continuity freaks like you. I could have mentioned that people on Construction Two can keep pets, but I was doing it from a first-person narrative perspective of a young kid that isn't as anal about that kind of detail as I am. :p You know how detailed I am, but in this story, I wanted to focus on Questun's views, not write a schematic of his universe. That's not what this story was about. Maybe if I gave him a cat, we could have avoided all this, but it didn't feel right for him to have one.

Strange criticism, though. "It'sgreatbut I must condemn the entire story as sloppy because of this minor problem with it that I feel I must describe in feverish detail because IhopeIdon'tsoundrudebut I'm not even sure you read your own stories because your work doesn't seem to have any quality control. There are multiple issues like this but this is the only one that needs to be mentioned, it's not because it's actually the only problem. Butitsstillgreatvotefive." Makes it sound like you slapped in the "it's great"s in the hopes that it would keep me from rebutting. :rolleyes:

Quote from: Hogarth Hughes;1485505Strange criticism, though. "It'sgreatbut I must condemn the entire story as sloppy because of this minor problem with it that I feel I must describe in feverish detail because IhopeIdon'tsoundrudebut I'm not even sure you read your own stories because your work doesn't seem to have any quality control. There are multiple issues like this but this is the only one that needs to be mentioned, it's not because it's actually the only problem. Butitsstillgreatvotefive." Makes it sound like you slapped in the "it's great"s in the hopes that it would keep me from rebutting. :rolleyes:

That's just my bizarre style of criticism. Really, it was excellent, but the one detail just really, really bugged me. It was driving me mad, like a splinter in my mind. It's already been established over AIM that I'm a terrible, terrible writer who should probably cut off his hands right now so that nobody will ever have to read any of my awful stories.

In short, I'm sorry for being a stupid, hypocritical, nitpicking prick.

Quote from: Silly Putty Clock;1485765That's just my bizarre style of criticism. Really, it was excellent, but the one detail just really, really bugged me. It was driving me mad, like a splinter in my mind. It's already been established over AIM that I'm a terrible, terrible writer who should probably cut off his hands right now so that nobody will ever have to read any of my awful stories.

In short, I'm sorry for being a stupid, hypocritical, nitpicking prick.

Don't worry about it, it's the thought that counts. I'm no great writer either, and I'm never able to write a story longer than a few paragraphs.

Quote from: BluezombieClock;1485783Don't worry about it, it's the thought that counts. I'm no great writer either, and I'm never able to write a story longer than a few paragraphs.

You're actually not bad. You aren't the amazing writer that Snake Clock is, but you aren't as horrible as I am. I mean, the only decent story I ever wrote (the one that I think Snake mentioned) completely ripped off Chuck Palahniuk's style. I'm a disgrace to the entire writing community, or would be if I weren't an insignificant speck who will never amount to enough for anyone to give two shits about me.
I wish I were talented.
CRAAAAAWINNNGG IIIIIINNN MY SKIIIIIIN THESE WOOOOUUUNDS THEEY WIIIIILL NOT HEEEEEAAAAL

Oh Lord, what have I wrought? :eek:

There's rhyme and reason to pretty much anything that might seem like an oversight, but on the other hand, I had planned for his spaceship to be similar to a kitten, since that was important to me. Him finding a planet full of animals he'd never seen before came to me while I was writing it, and it never occurred to me to correct the whole kitten-spaced shapeship thing: it became too important.

For your benefit, I've added a sentence that corrected this detail. Anything else should be brought to my attention?

Quote from: Silly Putty Clock;1485786I mean, the only decent story I ever wrote (the one that I think Snake mentioned) completely ripped off Chuck Palahniuk's style.

That isn't anything to be ashamed of, really. Even though you don't notice it, your style has its differences. Everybody rips off from good writers, because the way we learn to write with style is by reading, so of course we are going to pick up part of a writer's style when we read their work.

Quote from: Sombra;1485809That isn't anything to be ashamed of, really. Even though you don't notice it, your style has its differences. Everybody rips off from good writers, because the way we learn to write with style is by reading, so of course we are going to pick up part of a writer's style when we read their work.

You're right. You know how in Fight Club, the narrator/main character's speech doesn't have quotation marks around it (my theory is that this is meant to represent the blurring of the line between his own mind and his perception of reality)? I take that farther. I don't use any quotation marks. Although the character in my story was in a mental institution, and was probably even more fucked up than the guy from Fight Club.

On a serious note, I also did more description regarding the setting, although I still left it pretty vague. I only described the setting in any detail at all because I felt that it would reveal a lot about the personalities of both of the only two characters in the story.

So Hogarth, when the fuck will the winners be announced? ^^

Probably on the third. Cool your panties.

What, but is voting already done?

Quote from: AbsintheClock;1486134Cool your panties.

Notice THISâ€"›^^
^^ = ^_^

You can be happy and overly-excited too. Please no emoticons, it's bad news.

Quote from: AbsintheClock;1486229You can be happy and overly-excited too. Please no emoticons, it's bad news.

:this: Trust Absinthe on this one.

Yeah he once permabanned me for misspelling a word! Luckily my 4str 4stam belt gives me the permaban-re roll perk where I have a 50% chance of overturning the ban.

Quote from: Silly Putty Clock;1486829:this: Trust Absinthe on this one.

NO! :fifen:

Quote from: Column;1487442NO! :fifen:

I hope you have your Ban repel elixir on you!

Quote from: BluezombieClock;1487467I hope you have your Ban repel elixir on you!

I do. It's called comedy. One of them's the bannable joke I pulled. :rockin:

Quote from: Column;1487643:rockin:

When people say 'no emoticons' they mean it more for this one than almost any other.

Quote from: Ghost of Christmas Past;1487666When people say 'no emoticons' they mean it more for this one than almost any other.

This. Why do we have the 'rockin' emoticon, anyway?

Quote from: DiscoBallClock;1487679Why do we have the 'rockin' emoticon, anyway?

I think it may have been intended to be used sarcastically.

Quote from: Ghost of Christmas Past;1487723I think it may have been intended to be used sarcastically.

Too bad some people don't use it sarcastically.

Quote from: DiscoBallClock;1487735Too bad some people don't use it sarcastically.

Yeah, but I don't think Column knew just how annoying it is. And it could be worse (see: Hamserfood). Still, he disobeyed a warning and needs to be punished. What should we do? Put him in our Propoganda Day flashes as a schoolgirl, or is that too much?

Quote from: Ghost of Christmas Past;1487809Still, he disobeyed a warning and needs to be punished. What should we do? Put him in our Propoganda Day flashes as a schoolgirl, or is that too much?

Well, seeing as chilling or banning him is too much, all that is left is flash humiliation, but probably only as a lighthearted joke.

Quote from: DiscoBallClock;1487812Well, seeing as chilling or banning him is too much, all that is left is flash humiliation, but probably only as a lighthearted joke.

make him a SUPAR HARDCOER PNUK RUCKKARRR!!!:rockin: :rockin: :rockin:

Quote from: DiscoBallClock;1487812Well, seeing as chilling or banning him is too much, all that is left is flash humiliation, but probably only as a lighthearted joke.

My thoughts exactly. It's an emoticon, not a trojan. There's still a nagging question, though : who's going to do the voice acting?

(And another question: about how many more sets of votes are needed before the winners are decided? Also,  I've been busy recently but I will probably have plenty of time tomorrow to read and vote.)

Quote from: AbsintheClock;1486134Probably on the third. Cool your panties.

I'd rather have more than three people vote. Column voted as well, but his votes were "GOD FOR FUNNIEST!!!! Kingdavidforeverythingelseiguessbut GOD FOR FUNNIEST!!!!" I can't take that vote very seriously.

Any one of you could be voting right now. Sombra, SillyPutty, BlueZombie, why don't you let me know what you think?

Quote from: Sombra;1485809That isn't anything to be ashamed of, really. Even though you don't notice it, your style has its differences. Everybody rips off from good writers, because the way we learn to write with style is by reading, so of course we are going to pick up part of a writer's style when we read their work.

I write like Gaiman, Adams and Huxley. ;)

Quote from: Hogarth Hughes;1488366Any one of you could be voting right now. Sombra, SillyPutty, BlueZombie, why don't you let me know what you think?

But they're all so good!

What my fucking signature says.

Quote from: Column;1488700What my fucking signature says.

Column: The Human Sex Joke.

Time for me to tabulate the votes. Should be done in a bit.

So we're gonna know today ?

I should've added a smile or grin at the end of my last message. I'm not trying to be obnoxious. I was going to say "dicks" but somehow it was already in the signature.

Quote from: Hogarth Hughes;1488745Column: The Human Sex Joke.

That sounds like a great name for a circus performer.