Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: Craisin on January 31, 2009, 08:40:02 PM
Post by: Craisin on January 31, 2009, 08:40:02 PM
I'm down from 242 to 216 but need 12 more... what are some excersizes to do? Not weights, since I do that every other day anyway... most of my cardio comes from jogging or playing 3 hours of basketball...
Was thinking of running suicides since I remember them from HS BBALL, but other than that I dunno... ideas?
Was thinking of running suicides since I remember them from HS BBALL, but other than that I dunno... ideas?
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: DNAClock on January 31, 2009, 08:49:10 PM
Post by: DNAClock on January 31, 2009, 08:49:10 PM
Just make sure your diet contains less calories than the ones you are burning each day, studies have shown that the run/walk method is one of the most efficient ways to lose weight: http://running.about.com/od/getstartedwithrunning/ht/runwalk.htm
What we recommend on the hospital for patients with no cardiac pathologies is: Warm-up, run as fast as you can for as long as you can and then slow down until you think you can run fast again, keep doing that in all your routines and you will burn more calories than running at a steady pace.
Crunches, sit-ups, bike training are welcome, if you build some muscle it is said that you will burn calories much faster (following the principle that new muscle fibers will need more nutrients and therefore your basal metabolism will rise).
mmmm I dunno, theres a million ways but I think these ones are the safest.
What we recommend on the hospital for patients with no cardiac pathologies is: Warm-up, run as fast as you can for as long as you can and then slow down until you think you can run fast again, keep doing that in all your routines and you will burn more calories than running at a steady pace.
Crunches, sit-ups, bike training are welcome, if you build some muscle it is said that you will burn calories much faster (following the principle that new muscle fibers will need more nutrients and therefore your basal metabolism will rise).
mmmm I dunno, theres a million ways but I think these ones are the safest.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK on January 31, 2009, 08:51:40 PM
Post by: FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK on January 31, 2009, 08:51:40 PM
You weigh that much after all that exercise and weight lifting daily? You're either 8 feet tall or you eat nothing but deep fried cheescake.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: DNAClock on January 31, 2009, 08:53:23 PM
Post by: DNAClock on January 31, 2009, 08:53:23 PM
Oh, sex helps you burn calories... A LOT!
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: Craisin on January 31, 2009, 08:55:05 PM
Post by: Craisin on January 31, 2009, 08:55:05 PM
Quote from: FloundermanClock;1511645You weigh that much after all that exercise and weight lifting daily? You're either 8 feet tall or you eat nothing but deep fried cheescake.
I started at 242 man... I'm not going to lose all 42 in a month, that's ridiculous. I eat well, and I lose weight simply through my diet, I excersize too so I don't burn off all my muscle at the same time.
All my weight was acquired through about a year of drinking... and drinking heavily.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: AnchorClock on January 31, 2009, 08:56:11 PM
Post by: AnchorClock on January 31, 2009, 08:56:11 PM
Quote from: DNAClock;1511649Oh, sex helps you burn calories... A LOT!
So does jerking off, no joke. Its a good way to build muscles.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: DNAClock on January 31, 2009, 09:00:39 PM
Post by: DNAClock on January 31, 2009, 09:00:39 PM
Quote from: AnchorClock;1511651So does jerking off, no joke. Its a good way to build muscles.I have never seen a chart that lists calores burned by masturbation but if you follow common sense you might realize that sex is more efficient at that.
Seriously, try it.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK on January 31, 2009, 09:01:05 PM
Post by: FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK on January 31, 2009, 09:01:05 PM
Kegel exercises lol
Yeah that'll do it.
Quote from: Joey Porter;1511650All my weight was acquired through about a year of drinking... and drinking heavily.
Yeah that'll do it.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: Maltese on January 31, 2009, 09:06:37 PM
Post by: Maltese on January 31, 2009, 09:06:37 PM
Quote from: FloundermanClock;1511655Kegel exercises
PERFECT
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: SeedClock on January 31, 2009, 09:07:13 PM
Post by: SeedClock on January 31, 2009, 09:07:13 PM
eat laxatives for breakfast lunch and dinner
but on a more serious note try not to drink milk, it sounds like something stupid but it makes a big difference on a diet
but on a more serious note try not to drink milk, it sounds like something stupid but it makes a big difference on a diet
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: Craisin on January 31, 2009, 09:37:15 PM
Post by: Craisin on January 31, 2009, 09:37:15 PM
laxatives will not help you lose weight at all. The calories are still retained in your system... and then it just comes out soft.
Sex does do quite a workout, although the last person I was with was a little crazy. I found out she fucked her ex boyfriend in the ass while he wore a dress... why she told me that I have no idea, so I quit screwing with her. The one before that was equally crazy, and the one before that I cheated on, so I don't have many prospects, that I'm interested in fucking anyway.
Sex does do quite a workout, although the last person I was with was a little crazy. I found out she fucked her ex boyfriend in the ass while he wore a dress... why she told me that I have no idea, so I quit screwing with her. The one before that was equally crazy, and the one before that I cheated on, so I don't have many prospects, that I'm interested in fucking anyway.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK on January 31, 2009, 09:39:15 PM
Post by: FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK on January 31, 2009, 09:39:15 PM
Quote from: Joey Porter;1511688why she told me that I have no idea
"Hey honey, how big of a poop can you pass without it hurting"
"Uh, I dunno, 3 inches around, why?"
"No reason"
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: Craisin on January 31, 2009, 09:40:36 PM
Post by: Craisin on January 31, 2009, 09:40:36 PM
Quote from: FloundermanClock;1511690"Hey honey, how big of a poop can you pass without it hurting"
"Uh, I dunno, 3 inches around, why?"
"No reason"
That's a pretty big shit, IMHO.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: DNAClock on January 31, 2009, 09:49:34 PM
Post by: DNAClock on January 31, 2009, 09:49:34 PM
Quote from: Joey Porter;1511688Sex does do quite a workout, although the last person I was with was a little crazy. I found out she fucked her ex boyfriend in the ass while he wore a dress... why she told me that I have no idea
SIG GET!
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: AbsintheClock on February 01, 2009, 03:10:07 AM
Post by: AbsintheClock on February 01, 2009, 03:10:07 AM
Eat like 40 pounds of bacon.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK on February 01, 2009, 03:13:21 AM
Post by: FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK on February 01, 2009, 03:13:21 AM
Quote from: AbsintheClock;1511877Eat like 40 pounds of bacon.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: GodClock on February 01, 2009, 03:28:40 AM
Post by: GodClock on February 01, 2009, 03:28:40 AM
god damn that looks fucking good.
also cycling is a great workout. i put in 5-6 miles every day just from commuting, some uphill, but on flat land i like to sprint to get my heart going. sometime when i'm free (which hasn't been lately) i'll go on longer rides. last long ride i went on was 24 miles round trip and got tired near the end so thats about my limit, but yeah, i've lost 10 lbs from it in the last month
also cycling is a great workout. i put in 5-6 miles every day just from commuting, some uphill, but on flat land i like to sprint to get my heart going. sometime when i'm free (which hasn't been lately) i'll go on longer rides. last long ride i went on was 24 miles round trip and got tired near the end so thats about my limit, but yeah, i've lost 10 lbs from it in the last month
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: AbsintheClock on February 01, 2009, 03:29:01 AM
Post by: AbsintheClock on February 01, 2009, 03:29:01 AM
Oh god I think I just popped a woody.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: guero on February 01, 2009, 03:39:42 AM
Post by: guero on February 01, 2009, 03:39:42 AM
Quote from: FloundermanClock;1511878
brb kitchen
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: Heliopios on February 01, 2009, 03:42:48 AM
Post by: Heliopios on February 01, 2009, 03:42:48 AM
Losing weight is for gays, replacing the fat with muscle is a better option.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: Kodiakclock on February 01, 2009, 12:17:28 PM
Post by: Kodiakclock on February 01, 2009, 12:17:28 PM
drink light beer and try and get laid
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: Safe___Clock on February 01, 2009, 12:46:52 PM
Post by: Safe___Clock on February 01, 2009, 12:46:52 PM
replace diet with wood and polystyrene
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: DiscoBallClock on February 01, 2009, 12:47:04 PM
Post by: DiscoBallClock on February 01, 2009, 12:47:04 PM
Round is a shape...
Seriously though, I recommend what everyone said here already, exercise regularly, eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, and try to cut on the fats. You know, live healthily.
Seriously though, I recommend what everyone said here already, exercise regularly, eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, and try to cut on the fats. You know, live healthily.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: Kodiakclock on February 01, 2009, 12:49:59 PM
Post by: Kodiakclock on February 01, 2009, 12:49:59 PM
dude light beer thats it just drink light beer
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: Beret on February 01, 2009, 01:27:55 PM
Post by: Beret on February 01, 2009, 01:27:55 PM
Remember to use both arms when jacking off, don't want to get unbalanced. :l
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: DNAClock on February 01, 2009, 02:09:06 PM
Post by: DNAClock on February 01, 2009, 02:09:06 PM
Once I met a guy that put plastic wrap around his arms and belly so he could sweat more during the day... No shit.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: Roman Collar Clock on February 01, 2009, 03:16:26 PM
Post by: Roman Collar Clock on February 01, 2009, 03:16:26 PM
Whatever you do, 70% of any weight loss will be determined from what you shove in your pie hole.
Also, a lot of weight loss will come from your cardio workout. I would just run on the treadmill doing 60-120s. You walk for a few minutes to warm up, then sprint for one minute and jog for two. After doing three sets of run/jog, do a warm down walk. This whole process can take no longer than 15 minutes sometimes. And when you feel ready to do more, add on another set or increase the incline on your treadmill if you use one.
Also, a lot of weight loss will come from your cardio workout. I would just run on the treadmill doing 60-120s. You walk for a few minutes to warm up, then sprint for one minute and jog for two. After doing three sets of run/jog, do a warm down walk. This whole process can take no longer than 15 minutes sometimes. And when you feel ready to do more, add on another set or increase the incline on your treadmill if you use one.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: INoodleClock on February 01, 2009, 03:29:56 PM
Post by: INoodleClock on February 01, 2009, 03:29:56 PM
Quote from: DNAClock;1512116Once I met a guy that put plastic wrap around his arms and belly so he could sweat more during the day... No shit.
That's nasty, any idea how efficient that actually is?
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: Craisin on February 01, 2009, 04:33:13 PM
Post by: Craisin on February 01, 2009, 04:33:13 PM
Quote from: Heliopios;1511894Losing weight is for gays, replacing the fat with muscle is a better option.
You're an idiot, and do not understand how the body works. If you are going to give advise, please at least be on point.
You cannot simply turn fat into muscle. If I was to lose weight, I would also lose a great deal of muscle to. Therefore I can lose weight and try to add a little muscle, or retain the same muscle I have. It is very difficult to drop a great deal of weight and bulk up at the same time.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: Craisin on February 01, 2009, 04:33:49 PM
Post by: Craisin on February 01, 2009, 04:33:49 PM
Quote from: INoodle;1512184That's nasty, any idea how efficient that actually is?
It's great for losing water weight, not for getting in shape.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: FileCabinetClock on February 01, 2009, 04:34:52 PM
Post by: FileCabinetClock on February 01, 2009, 04:34:52 PM
cut it off
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: FileCabinetClock on February 01, 2009, 04:37:37 PM
Post by: FileCabinetClock on February 01, 2009, 04:37:37 PM
btw if anyone actually thinks jerking off is even a remotely good workout then why am i still a pathetic faggot
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: DNAClock on February 01, 2009, 04:42:24 PM
Post by: DNAClock on February 01, 2009, 04:42:24 PM
Quote from: mc snax;1512306btw if anyone actually thinks jerking off is even a remotely good workout then why am i still a pathetic faggotYou never swallow >_<
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK on February 01, 2009, 04:43:29 PM
Post by: FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK on February 01, 2009, 04:43:29 PM
Quote from: mc snax;1512306btw if anyone actually thinks jerking off is even a remotely good workout then why am i still a pathetic faggot
Unless you have a retrograde ejaculation you burn no calories.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: PirateClock on February 12, 2009, 03:32:32 PM
Post by: PirateClock on February 12, 2009, 03:32:32 PM
somebody make me a bacon and cheese roll now please.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: berimfuckyoubau on February 12, 2009, 03:53:03 PM
Post by: berimfuckyoubau on February 12, 2009, 03:53:03 PM
Quote from: CadillacClock;1519686The heart attack express just pulled up in awesometown.
the roll is worth the heart attack.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: Soup Clock on February 12, 2009, 04:04:35 PM
Post by: Soup Clock on February 12, 2009, 04:04:35 PM
Replace eating with masturbation.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: TequilaClock on February 12, 2009, 04:18:04 PM
Post by: TequilaClock on February 12, 2009, 04:18:04 PM
Quote from: GaydadsintheClock;1511878Damn.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: PirateClock on February 12, 2009, 04:19:50 PM
Post by: PirateClock on February 12, 2009, 04:19:50 PM
Quote from: SoupClock;1519699Replace eating with masturbation.
what i do is, whenever im hungry and at home i brush my teeth and drink a glass of water. And 80% of the time my hunger is gone, when im not at home i use chewing gum. It also gives you sparkling white teeth and not a single cavity in 21 years booyeah. And when i still am hungry and it's not either breakfast, lunch or dinner time i just have a piece of fruit.
But i drink allot and when im drunk i tend to consume large quantities of fries and/or kebab so that cancels it all out a bit.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: berimfuckyoubau on February 12, 2009, 05:04:54 PM
Post by: berimfuckyoubau on February 12, 2009, 05:04:54 PM
Quote from: Bob, Agent of HYDRA;1519707what i do is, whenever im hungry and at home i brush my teeth and drink a glass of water. And 80% of the time my hunger is gone, when im not at home i use chewing gum. It also gives you sparkling white teeth and not a single cavity in 21 years booyeah. And when i still am hungry and it's not either breakfast, lunch or dinner time i just have a piece of fruit.
But i drink allot and when im drunk i tend to consume large quantities of fries and/or kebab so that cancels it all out a bit.
chewing gum makes you hungry.
chewing alerts the stomach that something is going to come inside so it gets even hungrier.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: BluezombieClock on February 12, 2009, 05:22:55 PM
Post by: BluezombieClock on February 12, 2009, 05:22:55 PM
I'm pretty sure you can buy natural health products that cut your appetite a bit
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: PirateClock on February 12, 2009, 05:32:32 PM
Post by: PirateClock on February 12, 2009, 05:32:32 PM
Quote from: WhIsKeY ClOcK;1519726chewing gum makes you hungry.
chewing alerts the stomach that something is going to come inside so it gets even hungrier.
Well that might be the theory but im never hungry while chewing gum, maybe it's because of the mint or something dunno.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: Pumpkin Clock on February 12, 2009, 07:23:59 PM
Post by: Pumpkin Clock on February 12, 2009, 07:23:59 PM
Get off the computer.
That bacon with the cheese made me gag.
That bacon with the cheese made me gag.
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: Maltese on February 12, 2009, 07:31:31 PM
Post by: Maltese on February 12, 2009, 07:31:31 PM
Quote from: Rock & Roll Pumpkin;1519854That bacon with the cheese made me gag.
what are you? gay?
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: Pumpkin Clock on February 13, 2009, 08:48:12 AM
Post by: Pumpkin Clock on February 13, 2009, 08:48:12 AM
Quote from: i'm maltese and i am gay;1519858what are you? gay?
Healthy
edit:
maybe a little of both
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: AstronautClock on February 13, 2009, 09:37:56 AM
Post by: AstronautClock on February 13, 2009, 09:37:56 AM
Quote from: Rock & Roll Pumpkin;1519854Get off the computer.
That bacon with the cheese made me gag.
it made me hungry
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: PirateClock on February 13, 2009, 10:15:52 AM
Post by: PirateClock on February 13, 2009, 10:15:52 AM
http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/
Title: Clock Crew HELP ME GET IN SHAPE!
Post by: BluezombieClock on February 13, 2009, 01:37:25 PM
Post by: BluezombieClock on February 13, 2009, 01:37:25 PM
That bacon roll thing looks really good but I would it eat that shit only on a special occasion, since it'll make me fat for the next week