http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/506881
Vote Five!
I spent two weeks working on the first episode of my new series "Life in Clocktopia."
tHEREs no preloader, just a play button so wait a little while b4 u press play.
why didnt you download a preloader lol.
anyway I fived it.
gonna watch it now
edit: pretty nice
:fifen:
I didn't like it. I know for a fact that the one joke in the entire flash was stolen from South Park, and the music was horrible. Also, you stole all those flas. So pretty much the only parts that you did yourself were the animation and the backgrounds, and neither of those were really that good.
:fifen:
EDIT: Ok there were two jokes. Meh, the one you wrote yourself was ok. I'm pretty sure you wrote the one about the video crowd. I can't remember the South Park episode that well.
Quote from: Chaotic Silly Putty;1643245EDIT: Ok there were two jokes. Meh, the one you wrote yourself was ok. I'm pretty sure you wrote the one about the video crowd. I can't remember the South Park episode that well.
that one was also in south park
Quote from: Light Thunderbolt;1643250that one was also in south park
Ok then. Yeah Money, you're a hack.
that was painfully unfunny
Fived for effort.
Unless you're aiming for humorously negative reviews from newgrounders, which doesn't seem to be the case, you should consider putting more effort into your flash.
If what they say is true, try coming up with your own material. You also need to spend more time animating. Draw your own flas, it'll certainly add originality to the flash.
From what I gather, judging by your previous submissions, you keep trying to create a series on Newgrounds. I don't recommend that. Instead, put more effort into a single flash with a solid story line. It'll be much more rewarding.
Fived
It wasn't very good though. Be funnier
what a shit movie
get your own jokes/plots
Quote from: PatriotClock;1643280Fived
It wasn't very good though. Be funnier
Okay, I'll work on that.
Quote from: DillClock;1643296what a shit movie
get your own jokes/plots
I know that's what I'm going to do for the part 2, I'm going to change the plot and make it my own.
Quote from: Money;1643301I know that's what I'm going to do for the part 2, I'm going to change the plot and make it my own.
It wont be a series then...
If this wasn't a Clock Movie, I would've voted it a 0.
don't make an episode two just yet
delete this and make a new episode one
part 1 isnt realy needed for the story
Quote from: DillClock;1643314don't make an episode two just yet
delete this and make a new episode one
I'm making a PART two not an EPISODE two, and I'm not gonna delete this because I spent two weeks on this and I actually put effort into this one.
Quote from: GamblerClock;1643302It wont be a series then...
Well I'm not really gonna change the PLOT...but I'm going to make it my own, and make it very different from the South Park episode.
this is the worst video thats suck so much i feel bad for you cause you aint ever gonna get a girlfriend
all your ganna do is sit around and watch porn on the internet of anime naruto and tell girls you got a big ding dong witch u most likely dont have
Quote from: Darth Krayt;1643383this is the worst video thats suck so much i feel bad for you cause you aint ever gonna get a girlfriend
all your ganna do is sit around and watch porn on the internet of anime naruto and tell girls you got a big ding dong witch u most likely dont have
All you really needed to say was "I don't like it", jerk.
I still don't know what a helioporpous is.
Quote from: Money;1643393All you really needed to say was "I don't like it", jerk.
lmao
Quote from: Money;1643393All you really needed to say was "I don't like it", jerk.
we're going to have to beat this one into shape, lads
Quote from: DillClock;1643603we're going to have to beat this one into shape, lads
http://clockcrew.cc/talk/showthread.php?t=89146
Quote from: PatriotClock;1643606http://clockcrew.cc/talk/showthread.php?t=89146
awesome
but it'll take a lot more then that
we don't want him becoming the next iidx or rob
They have these things called originality, 24fps and good music. Try using them sometime.
EDIT: I just realised my sig is a great example of all of that.
Quote from: Golden Clock;1643577I really didn't like this one bit. If you want some constructive criticism, here it is:
1 Try to think of your own stories/jokes
2. Do not use people like Rupee as a reference for what a good Clock Crew movie is. Even if you didn't, you still should view some classic clock flash cartoons from 2001, 2002, and 2003 to get a better feel for what a real CC movie is like.
3. I don't know if you know how to tween or not. Your animation is incredibly choppy, and looks pretty unprofessional.
Sometimes you'll notice Clock Crew movies will be intentionally bad, but there's a marked difference between those and yours. With yours, it's obvious that you were trying to put effort into it. It's commendable, the effort, but you still have a long way to go if you want to make quality cartoons.
4. The music was terrible, and I don't know if you streamed it or not, but I don't think it was. If you stream your audio, you will have a far smaller file size.
5. There were bits that I just didn't understand, that were very very awful:
- Flashing gradient background when Chevy is playing. Bad.
- Why was there a picture of a red Rupee Clock for 'the next day'? Why is there a picture at all? It would've been very nicely a black screen with white letters.
- This is just aesthetic, but sometimes your text isn't always centered or placed well. Having such a large subtitle area is extremely tacky looking as well. Having subtitles at all isn't even really necessary. If you do use subtitles, you don't need to tell that music is playing in the background, nor do you need to say which song it is.
- Why did you spell it 'rly' ?
- Scenes cut too early. I think you're relying on movie clips too much. You need to learn how to separate things by scenes, not movie clips.
- Why was there a picture of Potato Clock for 'two minutes later?' Honestly, these things are just plain out of place, and completely unnecessary.
- On 'one day later' why did you write it with the line tool? That's extremely awful.
- Trying to make it look like it's being typed is also awful.
6. You really need to learn how to design better backgrounds. It's not just drawing skill, which of course you will need to improve if you want to make the 'Quality' kind of CC movies, but it's also the fact that sometimes the work area is exposed on the edges. The white area is bad.
7. These scene transitions. They're awful. Like when the frame slides or when strawberry folds inward at the very end. Don't do these, especially with such a low framerate. 12 FPS is very ugly if you're trying to do something with effort. A higher framerate wouldn't make it look much better though.
There's other things I'm sure, and maybe I wasted my time explaining all of these things, but really, no offense but there was so much and I mean so much wrong with this cartoon. You can improve though, although not everything can be explained to you. Like I said, you should watch classic CC flashes for inspiration. I don't ask that you copy them, but rather you get a feel for the type of cartoons they are. That you learn to understand Clock Crew humor. Clock Crew humor isn't South Park humor, nor is it 4chan or Kitty Krew, or Lock Legion humor.
fdsfadfa
Yes, I do know how to tween, and no, I didn't stream the audio. And I spelled it "rly" because there wasn't any room left and I was assuming everyone knew what "rly" stands for.
Say what you want about Rupee, but he WAS a pretty darned good animator.
I would suggest you become more comfortable with tweens, and I also think that most people who go to Newgrounds watch South Park, so you know. Also I'd suggest you flip strawberry when he walks left, otherwise it looks incredibly awkward.
Holy shit if you had actually done this intentionally you'd be a genious
Quote from: Golden Clock;1643866You can't tell me you couldn't have made the font any smaller.
Yeah...you're right.
You're accepting criticism without too much argument, that's good. Don't be too disheartened with our dislike of your movie, everyone wants you to improve and we'll be happy to help you. Our instant messenger screennames are in our profiles so feel free to ask questions. PMs are fine too.
While people are complaining:
Be aware that most Clock .FLAs represent/represented actual people. Although some characters often appear without much personality (Orange, Rasp, Apple, etc.), others are basically inseperable from the most memorable exaggerated characteristics of their creators (see :suicide: and :queer:, for example). Almost everyone is male. Clock characters aren't always as interchangeable as they seem.
Quote from: VCRClock;1643960While people are complaining:
Be aware that most Clock .FLAs represent/represented actual people. Although some characters often appear without much personality (Orange, Rasp, Apple, etc.), others are basically inseperable from the most memorable exaggerated characteristics of their creators (see :suicide: and :queer:, for example). Almost everyone is male. Clock characters aren't always as interchangeable as they seem.
Oh..I didn't know that...
I didn't think it was that bad.
It was pretty choppy and the random "two minutes/hours/days later" transition scenes were not needed.
It is also pretty obvious that you stole the joke which the whole animation was based upon, so that sucked too. If it had been more original, then I'm sure that you would have gotten a better review from the older clocks.
I'll give you a fifen anyway.
5'd but i didn't like it at all.
Quote from: Dark Twist;16440765'd but i didn't like it at all.
Oh...okay. I'll try to make part 2 better.