Clock Crew

Community => General Discussion => Topic farted by: Roman Collar Clock on January 19, 2010, 01:52:32 PM

Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Roman Collar Clock on January 19, 2010, 01:52:32 PM
So yeah you can get ordained into this church just by e-mailing them your name.  After getting accepted you can legally marry people and start your own church.

http://www.ulc.net/

lol
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: TequilaClock on January 19, 2010, 02:00:42 PM
Its like Furcadia for puritans!
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Slurpee on January 19, 2010, 02:06:50 PM
that's nothing. you're already a Discordian Pope.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: AbsintheClock on January 19, 2010, 02:10:44 PM
Looking into this to see if it's legit. If so I'm starting my own damned religion!
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Asshatclock on January 19, 2010, 02:14:41 PM
Asshatism here I come.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Roman Collar Clock on January 19, 2010, 02:53:15 PM
Quote from: AbsintheClock;1719158Looking into this to see if it's legit. If so I'm starting my own damned religion!

It seems pretty legit.  I heard they won a case in the supreme court so their clergy can enjoy the same legal status as the other religions.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Kaijuclock on January 19, 2010, 03:02:37 PM
Esoteric Order Of Dagon is about to be a real religion!
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK on January 19, 2010, 03:30:54 PM
Quote from: KaijuClock;1719170Esoteric Order Of Dagon is about to be a real religion!

Lets sell merchandise!
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Silly Putty Clock on January 19, 2010, 03:34:26 PM
Quote from: Sea Bass;1719174Lets sell merchandise!

Damn, now I'm hearing your posts in the voice of that guy in your avatar, but I don't know what he sounds like so it's just like some hick is reading your posts out loud.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK on January 19, 2010, 03:37:58 PM
I'm not sure if it was Absinthe or Gir who gave me this username.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Silly Putty Clock on January 19, 2010, 03:39:36 PM
Quote from: Sea Bass;1719179I'm not sure if it was Absinthe or Gir who gave me this username.

WINE 'EM
DINE 'EM
SIXTY-NINE 'EM
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Kaijuclock on January 19, 2010, 03:47:42 PM
Absinthe, I posted the picture first though.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK on January 19, 2010, 03:49:23 PM
Man I haven't seen dumb and dumber in forever. Maybe since elementary school.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Silly Putty Clock on January 19, 2010, 03:52:06 PM
Quote from: Sea Bass;1719182Man I haven't seen dumb and dumber in forever. Maybe since elementary school.

Wait, that guy's from Dumb and Dumber? I forgot most of it. I think I only saw it once. The only part I can remember is when they get to Aspen and start spending all the money and go to the charity thing in Willy Wonka suits.

EDIT: Ok, I just looked up the Sea Bass scene on youtube. Now I'm reading your posts in his actual voice.

EDIT EDIT: In regards to the OP, IIRC Hunter S. Thompson was a minister of that church.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: AbsintheClock on January 19, 2010, 04:14:37 PM
I just registered, and now I officially declare myself the pope of Absurdism. Come one, come all, get your pants before they fall. Teeth are falling out? Tough shit! Want to make sure after you kick the bucket your teeth will never fall out again? Talk to me and not the 300 pound gorilla in the room! I do weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, and I even put the fun back in funeral! Just come talk to me in two business days.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Silly Putty Clock on January 19, 2010, 04:54:37 PM
I should do this. I like the idea of being able to put Rev. in front of my name. It worked out pretty well for Roger.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: TwistClock on January 19, 2010, 05:02:22 PM
Mine is coming is 2 business days.

Everything and everyone will be married and nobody can stop me
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK on January 19, 2010, 05:06:12 PM
I'm marrying Pat Robertson and Marilyn Manson without their permission.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK on January 19, 2010, 05:10:54 PM
I am officially a minister now. I plan wearing a pope hat 24/7, with upside down crosses, stars of david, and swastikas plastered all over it. As my first decree as Pope of Southern Baptist Satanism, I hereby declare Pat Robertson and Marilyn Manson married until death. Amen.


Oh and PS, I posthumously baptize Jesus, Buddha, and the original Shamu into my church.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Kaijuclock on January 19, 2010, 05:15:50 PM
I am now a member of the Absurdist Church, As I am ordained as well i shall open up local chapters in the south. Now i have to wait on Reverend Absinthe to write the holy text.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Silly Putty Clock on January 19, 2010, 05:28:38 PM
Quote from: RibsClock;1719216A discordian papacy is as hilarious as an anarchic parliament.

That's the point.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Slurpee on January 19, 2010, 05:30:43 PM
Quote from: RibsClock;1719216A discordian papacy is as hilarious as an anarchic parliament.

every man woman and child on earth is a Discordian Pope, with all the rights in Discordianism as the Catholic Papacy.

on that note, I'm excommunicating you.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Silly Putty Clock on January 19, 2010, 05:31:12 PM
Quote from: Slurpee;1719221every man woman and child on earth is a Discordian Pope, with all the rights in Discordianism as the Catholic Papacy.

on that note, I'm excommunicating you.

Yay! Corpsie gets to go to space!
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK on January 19, 2010, 05:53:06 PM
I hereby marry Slurpee and Corpsegrinder.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: RomanClock on January 19, 2010, 06:36:03 PM
They have a PO box in Folsom, CA but it says their Church is in Medesto.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: GearBoxClock on January 19, 2010, 08:07:28 PM
I was just Ordained.


I am one of the few atheist reverends in the world

I guess
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: PowerGloveClock on January 19, 2010, 08:08:19 PM
i should totally be a reverend
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: AlbinoClock on January 19, 2010, 08:44:52 PM
I got ordained in like, 2 hours. I think I'm going to perform gay marriages exclusively.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: RomanClock on January 19, 2010, 08:55:20 PM
Edit: Apparently it really is legit...
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Silly Putty Clock on January 19, 2010, 09:18:50 PM
Quote from: RomanClock;1719281I hope you guys didn't put in actual information.
I mean, this IS the internet.
Also, I don't think this allows you to legally marry people.

According to Wikipedia, yes it does.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Silly Putty Clock on January 19, 2010, 09:19:52 PM
Quote from: Aidrocsid;1719278I got ordained in like, 2 hours. I think I'm going to perform gay marriages exclusively.

I'm gonna one-up you and exclusively perform transsexual marriages. Who knows if it's gay?
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: SilverCherryClock on January 19, 2010, 09:20:53 PM
can i legally use the rev. title on my name after this?

EDIT ughh do i have to buy one of these bullshit packages to get any kind of certification
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: GearBoxClock on January 19, 2010, 09:25:41 PM
A physical certificate costs money
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: SilverCherryClock on January 19, 2010, 09:29:03 PM
i kind of want to buy one :wiebel:
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: GearBoxClock on January 19, 2010, 09:32:36 PM
I might get the $15 kit thing just for the hell of it.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK on January 19, 2010, 10:12:23 PM
I'm very tempted to get a physical certificate, I guess this is how they get ya.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: whatever on January 19, 2010, 10:36:57 PM
i am a pastafarian reverend
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Silly Putty Clock on January 19, 2010, 10:48:11 PM
Quote from: RibsClock;1719323I invoke my papal infallibility to declare that I am neither a pope nor infallible.

That's the spirit!
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: ProqagandaClock on January 19, 2010, 11:25:32 PM
So the idea is, you get this certification for free? And you can buy a certificate (regardless of country of origin?) if you choose to for extra effect?

That is pretty swell if it is true, can someone please tell me it is true?
Quote from: GearBoxClock;1719268I was just Ordained.


I am one of the few atheist reverends in the world

I guess

Nah there are tons of ethiest chaplancies and chaplains all over the states.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Odo on January 19, 2010, 11:48:03 PM
Quote from: RibsClock;1719323I invoke my papal infallibility to declare that I am neither a pope nor infallible.

WHAT
THE
FUCK
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: WiiClock on January 19, 2010, 11:52:59 PM
okay so i'm an ordained minister
now what
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Odo on January 19, 2010, 11:56:21 PM
Quote from: Joey;1719346okay so i'm an ordained minister
now what

you should convince two of your friends from each gender to pretend theyre getting married when drunk and then tell them theyre actually married because youre an ordained minister
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: whatever on January 19, 2010, 11:58:58 PM
Quote from: Liser;1719348you should convince two of your friends from each gender to pretend theyre getting married when drunk and then tell them theyre actually married because youre an ordained minister
oh im so going to do this
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: WiiClock on January 20, 2010, 12:07:37 AM
what if i'm like "well if you love it so much why don't you marry it" and they're like "alright i will"

can i be like "well now you are because i'm an ordained minister"
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: TwistClock on January 20, 2010, 01:17:19 AM
If they actually send me a certificate all the way across the globe

I'll probably take this further and make my own Religion/Cult.

And it'll be legal and official and the like.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: CourgetteClock on January 20, 2010, 04:02:21 AM
Yeah I was under the impression you could start you're own religion if you felt like it. The problem is tricking people into following.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Poltergeist on January 20, 2010, 04:21:27 AM
We should all make religions almost exactly the same except for one or two incredibly minor differences and start wars with each other over them



For instance I believe our lord and saviour the Almight Space Octopotamus is unimaginabley big whereas my friends religion thinks he is unthinkabley big. Blood will be shed.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Roman Collar Clock on January 20, 2010, 06:28:31 AM
Quote from: Sea Bass;1719317I'm very tempted to get a physical certificate, I guess this is how they get ya.

The ULC site claims you don't need one, but it can help if you actually want to marry somebody.  You do have to check your local laws though.

Quote from: RibsClock;1719423Minor? What do you mean? They worship a completely different omnipotent omniscient eternal Creator of all things!

All space octopus religions share the same core values!
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Poltergeist on January 20, 2010, 07:27:26 AM
Quote from: Roman Collar Clock;1719428All space octopus religions share the same core values!

How dare you insult my faith of RedundantDichotomism by comparing it to that of NeedlessDisunionism. I declare war.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Roman Collar Clock on January 20, 2010, 07:53:46 AM
Quote from: Juror 8;1719448How dare you insult my faith of RedundantDichotomism by comparing it to that of NeedlessDisunionism. I declare war.

RedundantDichotomism stole its beliefs from ancient Egyptian Redundomachismo religions.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Magyar on January 20, 2010, 08:07:49 AM
When I get ordained can I use my powers for evil? Or is it part of the contract to only use it for good?
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: PentagramClock on January 20, 2010, 08:23:19 AM
Quote from: Magyar;1719456When I get ordained can I use my powers for evil? Or is it part of the contract to only use it for good?

Being good has never been a qualification for ministry before, I don't know why it should be now.


EDIT: I also like the online confession feature.
http://ulc.net/index.php?page=confession
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Roman Collar Clock on January 20, 2010, 08:38:59 AM
Quote from: Magyar;1719456When I get ordained can I use my powers for evil? Or is it part of the contract to only use it for good?

The only condition to ordination is to do what you think is right.  If you think evil is right, then you're in the clear.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Lump Clock on January 20, 2010, 09:57:41 AM
This is pretty epic. Like.. straight up.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Silly Putty Clock on January 20, 2010, 10:41:12 AM
I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna start Neighborhoudinism!
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: AbsintheClock on January 20, 2010, 11:33:03 AM
Quote from: clammo;1719386does this seem completely backwards to anyone else??


you basically need permission of one religion to start another? kinda like having to ask google if you can start your own search engine

It's kind of like needing other countries to recognize you as a sovereign nation in order to be a country.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Silly Putty Clock on January 20, 2010, 12:45:14 PM
Quote from: Pope AbsintheClock;1719475It's kind of like needing other countries to recognize you as a sovereign nation in order to be a country.

:this:

Besides, the ULC isn't exactly a religion per se.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: PentagramClock on January 20, 2010, 02:27:49 PM
Even if you get this ordination, you still have to file with the state to make it legal.
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: TwistClock on January 20, 2010, 07:33:41 PM
It's due tomorrow but it I'm going on holiday.

If this thread dies by the time i get back and it arrives I'll be ready to convert you all to my religion
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: FileCabinetClock on January 20, 2010, 08:59:21 PM
homosexuality, now it's a religion
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Magyar on January 20, 2010, 10:30:25 PM
Quote from: FILECABINETCLOCK;1719695homosexuality, now it's a religion

we're all doomed
Title: Get ordained on this website in like two days
Post by: Poltergeist on January 22, 2010, 04:38:41 PM
Ganna marry my drunk friends brb