Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: AbsintheClock on September 23, 2011, 11:56:16 AM
Post by: AbsintheClock on September 23, 2011, 11:56:16 AM
(http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/23/malcolm-brenner-dolphin_n_974764.html#s357992&title=Elephant_Polo)
See if you guys felt as creeped out as I did.
QuoteShe was the one that got away.[/URL]
Malcolm Brenner, 60, wrote "Wet Goddess," a new book about a man's nine-month sexual relationship with a dolphin -- an affair that bears "a striking degree of resemblance" to his own interspecies romance.
The author claims he started his relationship with a dolphin named Dolly back in 1970, when he was in his early 20s. Brenner was a sophomore at New College of Florida in Sarasota. A writer hired Brenner to take photographs for a children's book about the dolphin show at an amusement park in nearby Nokomis. He was given free access to the park and introduced to the staff.
If Brenner is to be believed, the dolphin courted him.
Initially, "she became more and more aggressive," said Brenner, who lives in Punta Gorda, Fla. "She would thrust herself against me."
But over time, Dolly became more gentle, he claimed.
"I found that extraordinarily erotic," Brenner said. "It's like being with a tiger or a bear. This is an animal that could kill you in two seconds if it wanted to."
See if you guys felt as creeped out as I did.
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: YoYoClock on September 23, 2011, 11:58:12 AM
Post by: YoYoClock on September 23, 2011, 11:58:12 AM
Perfectly normal
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: Kodiakclock on September 23, 2011, 12:32:42 PM
Post by: Kodiakclock on September 23, 2011, 12:32:42 PM
have you never fucked a dolphin? its really really phenominal.
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: DWARFINATORclock on September 23, 2011, 12:37:16 PM
Post by: DWARFINATORclock on September 23, 2011, 12:37:16 PM
well its not exactly a bestseller
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: BilliardBall10 on September 23, 2011, 12:38:28 PM
Post by: BilliardBall10 on September 23, 2011, 12:38:28 PM
marlin clock should be VERY afraid.
i know i am.
i know i am.
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: PineappleClock on September 23, 2011, 12:44:18 PM
Post by: PineappleClock on September 23, 2011, 12:44:18 PM
Well they already make robo-tails for dolphins, sexy breast implants can't be too far away.
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: AbsintheClock on September 23, 2011, 12:46:25 PM
Post by: AbsintheClock on September 23, 2011, 12:46:25 PM
Quote from: DWARFINATORclock;1857949well its not exactly a bestseller
Five stars on Amazon, it's getting there.
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: BluezombieClock on September 23, 2011, 12:47:07 PM
Post by: BluezombieClock on September 23, 2011, 12:47:07 PM
Oh god.
Wet goddess? The fuck, couldn't he have picked a better title?
Wet goddess? The fuck, couldn't he have picked a better title?
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: RenegadeClock on September 23, 2011, 01:02:32 PM
Post by: RenegadeClock on September 23, 2011, 01:02:32 PM
Got my Dolphin Fleshlight on backorder.
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: GearBoxClock on September 23, 2011, 02:13:33 PM
Post by: GearBoxClock on September 23, 2011, 02:13:33 PM
Maybe this guy got dolphin-raped and didn't realize it
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: AbsintheClock on September 23, 2011, 02:18:44 PM
Post by: AbsintheClock on September 23, 2011, 02:18:44 PM
How do you rape a 400 pound fish that has jaws that could crush you like a beer can? If you ask me, I think Flipper liked it.
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: Clocktopus on September 23, 2011, 02:19:05 PM
Post by: Clocktopus on September 23, 2011, 02:19:05 PM
you sure it wasn't hank hill who wrote this
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: WrenchClock on September 23, 2011, 02:19:55 PM
Post by: WrenchClock on September 23, 2011, 02:19:55 PM
I read this as "Man writes a book about a fucking dolphin" and i was like "oh that isn't so bad"
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: PirateClock on September 23, 2011, 02:22:10 PM
Post by: PirateClock on September 23, 2011, 02:22:10 PM
(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftimewarpgamer.com%2Fimages%2Fgenesis%2Fecco%2Fecco_box_eu.jpg&hash=0a02174616c810ae8a2780693ccabfe0765f4133)
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: HookshotClock on September 23, 2011, 02:28:51 PM
Post by: HookshotClock on September 23, 2011, 02:28:51 PM
Quote from: PirateClock;1857997
A game I'll never be able to play now. Thanks.
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: Clocktopus on September 23, 2011, 02:31:54 PM
Post by: Clocktopus on September 23, 2011, 02:31:54 PM
Quote from: PirateClock;1857997
i fucking love ecco. i mentioned this in bluezombie's dreamcast thread
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: Thor on September 23, 2011, 03:05:48 PM
Post by: Thor on September 23, 2011, 03:05:48 PM
Why would anybody buy this wtf
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: AbsintheClock on September 23, 2011, 03:09:54 PM
Post by: AbsintheClock on September 23, 2011, 03:09:54 PM
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: Robfire on September 23, 2011, 03:12:38 PM
Post by: Robfire on September 23, 2011, 03:12:38 PM
Honestly I'd prefer this over Twilight or whatever kids are reading these days.
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: GreyClock on September 23, 2011, 03:23:38 PM
Post by: GreyClock on September 23, 2011, 03:23:38 PM
I'm not sure if the author is the ultimate troll or just batshit. If you look at his website there are just a few too many red flags. Supposed cult upbringing. Getting molested. Self-proclaimed Wiccan/neoPagan. This fucking gem: "Yes, Malcolm is the middle of three children!"
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: Thor on September 23, 2011, 03:27:47 PM
Post by: Thor on September 23, 2011, 03:27:47 PM
Quote from: AbsintheClock;1858008These folks
Some of those reviews are hilarious.
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: GearBoxClock on September 23, 2011, 03:34:05 PM
Post by: GearBoxClock on September 23, 2011, 03:34:05 PM
Quote from: AbsintheClock;1857994How do you rape a 400 pound fish that has jaws that could crush you like a beer can? If you ask me, I think Flipper liked it.
Dolphins are one of the only species that actively tries to rape things
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: Thor on September 23, 2011, 03:35:38 PM
Post by: Thor on September 23, 2011, 03:35:38 PM
Quote from: GearBoxClock;1858017Dolphins are one of the only species that actively tries to rape things
I hear that a lot, but I'm pretty sure it's not true. I've seen plenty of dogs humping people who are not willing.
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: d u m p y on September 23, 2011, 03:35:42 PM
Post by: d u m p y on September 23, 2011, 03:35:42 PM
After reading Wet Goddess, I now know that Fluffy IS flirting with me and signaling that she wants a more intimate relationship. I told her it's time to stop playing games and let's do this if we're gonna do this
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: GreyClock on September 23, 2011, 03:42:09 PM
Post by: GreyClock on September 23, 2011, 03:42:09 PM
My cat really does want to bone me. Occasionally he will sneak up and mount my arm. Even though he's neutered.
I looked it up, this shit has me in stitches.
[u2]sYiUuH0LkK0[/u2]Ha ha, oh god.
I looked it up, this shit has me in stitches.
QuoteI have a 3 year old cat who is neutered. Whenever he is on my lap or sitting beside me he seems to act as if he is horny. When I try to move him or tell him to stop he snaps at me and makes a funny sound, like he doesn't want me to disturb him. This seems like very unusual behaviour to me. Is there anyone who has seen this before, and is there anything i can do to fix this?Comedy gold.
[u2]sYiUuH0LkK0[/u2]Ha ha, oh god.
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: AstronautClock on September 23, 2011, 03:50:05 PM
Post by: AstronautClock on September 23, 2011, 03:50:05 PM
Quote from: This review is from: Wet Goddess (Paperback)This book illustrates the bond one can feel with animals.
I've owned a guinea pig for a couple years now. Her name is Fluffy, and I'm pretty sure she flirts with me. She squeaks enthusiastically when I pet her back, lets me feed her alfalfa sprouts by hand, and sometimes lightly nibbles on my fingers.
After reading Wet Goddess, I now know that Fluffy IS flirting with me and signaling that she wants a more intimate relationship. I told her it's time to stop playing games and let's do this if we're gonna do this. She seemed receptive, so I'm taking her out on a date this Friday. We're doing a tour of a mulching company and will sample some wood chips at the end of it. After we've had our fill, we'll go the McDonalds playland because they have those tubes you can crawl in, and I know Fluffy loves crawling thru tubes.
Look, I know people are going to judge when they see me walking around town with a gorgeous guinea pig in my arms, but whatever. They're just jealous haters who don't understand the bond one can feel with a different species.
There will be obstacles to overcome in this relationship, but there are challenges in every relationship. It's all about compromise. I'm trying to teach Fluffy to stop pooping on herself, and she's teaching me how to drink water from an upside-down bottle.
I'll check back here in a few weeks to let everyone know how my relationship with Fluffy is going. Until then, I implore all people to read Wet Goddess before they pursue an inter-species relationship.
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: Clocktopus on September 23, 2011, 07:28:12 PM
Post by: Clocktopus on September 23, 2011, 07:28:12 PM
Quote from: AstronautClock;1858028quotefucking beat me to it
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: TimHortonsClock on September 23, 2011, 08:36:02 PM
Post by: TimHortonsClock on September 23, 2011, 08:36:02 PM
I dunno which is scarier, the guy who fucked the dolphin, or the fact that people are buying a book about it.
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: RobClock on September 23, 2011, 08:52:07 PM
Post by: RobClock on September 23, 2011, 08:52:07 PM
Quote from: clammo;1858129well idk some people are attracted to cartoons so anything is possible
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: Kombucha on September 23, 2011, 08:55:05 PM
Post by: Kombucha on September 23, 2011, 08:55:05 PM
Quote from: HyundaiClock;1858002i fucking love eccoDon't you mean "I love fucking Ecco"?
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: MonsterMunch on September 23, 2011, 09:22:30 PM
Post by: MonsterMunch on September 23, 2011, 09:22:30 PM
Fuck I'm buying it.
Shits probably collectible.
Shits probably collectible.
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: AbsintheClock on September 23, 2011, 09:23:56 PM
Post by: AbsintheClock on September 23, 2011, 09:23:56 PM
^:fap:
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: TequilaClock on September 24, 2011, 04:44:02 AM
Post by: TequilaClock on September 24, 2011, 04:44:02 AM
(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F24.media.tumblr.com%2Ftumblr_lrc66duveL1qaw7zqo1_500.jpg&hash=23c822ffb4c8bf7f8132d0f6358cec21e376cd3e)
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: Kombucha on September 24, 2011, 04:44:57 AM
Post by: Kombucha on September 24, 2011, 04:44:57 AM
Quote from: TequilaClock;1858442It says "DO NOT REPOST", thief!
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: VCRClock on September 24, 2011, 05:31:28 AM
Post by: VCRClock on September 24, 2011, 05:31:28 AM
Please let's not get into another argument about the permissibility posting of non-hardcore drawn erotic material in General Discussion please
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: Thor on September 24, 2011, 12:36:11 PM
Post by: Thor on September 24, 2011, 12:36:11 PM
The relationship with the dolphin began after a series of misunderstanding regarding the term "blow-hole"
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: Clocktopus on September 24, 2011, 03:24:18 PM
Post by: Clocktopus on September 24, 2011, 03:24:18 PM
Quote from: Kombucha;1858134Don't you mean "I love fucking Ecco"?
...shit
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: Kodiakclock on September 24, 2011, 04:01:11 PM
Post by: Kodiakclock on September 24, 2011, 04:01:11 PM
(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.huffpost.com%2Fgadgets%2Fslideshows%2F22303%2Fslide_22303_321748_large.jpg%3F1316898058087&hash=e0cac4a62e240b0efac4f2fd4c1d2b7ffe00cdc0)
did you guys go through those photos under the article of other animals in the news.
did you guys go through those photos under the article of other animals in the news.
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: Clocktopus on September 24, 2011, 04:24:39 PM
Post by: Clocktopus on September 24, 2011, 04:24:39 PM
(https://clockcrew.net/talk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.huffpost.com%2Fgadgets%2Fslideshows%2F22303%2Fslide_22303_357982_large.jpg%3F1316899375387&hash=08ac4c9275c76de1a759224492763bd85eb86044)
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: buttplug on September 24, 2011, 04:29:09 PM
Post by: buttplug on September 24, 2011, 04:29:09 PM
that orangutan is chill as fuck
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: d u m p y on September 25, 2011, 07:46:21 PM
Post by: d u m p y on September 25, 2011, 07:46:21 PM
Quote from: clammo;1858129well idk some people are attracted to cartoons so anything is possible
nigga you got an off switch on you that i could flip somewhere?
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: SpongeClock SquarePants on September 26, 2011, 03:25:34 AM
Post by: SpongeClock SquarePants on September 26, 2011, 03:25:34 AM
isnt this dolphin sex story really old?
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: NuclearMissileClock on September 26, 2011, 12:54:35 PM
Post by: NuclearMissileClock on September 26, 2011, 12:54:35 PM
Have you never watched dolphin porn? It's fucking sexy.
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: BilliardBall10 on September 26, 2011, 08:31:55 PM
Post by: BilliardBall10 on September 26, 2011, 08:31:55 PM
Quote from: DumpsterClock;1859115nigga you got an off switch on you that i could flip somewhere?
who's this guy, i love him
Title: Man writes a book about fucking a dolphin, and it sells.
Post by: d u m p y on September 26, 2011, 10:12:52 PM
Post by: d u m p y on September 26, 2011, 10:12:52 PM
Quote from: BilliardBall10;1859587who's this guy, i love him
my life now has meaning