professor austin powers advanced the theory of shagalectic materialism finish this joke later

____________________(Ich bin ein Berliner)
_________________________________\|

something I don't understand, algorithmically:

when you're comparing strings and you change e.g.:
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
to
abbcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyyz

how does an algorithm know you only added a b and a y?
because if you were matching 1-to-1 from the beginning, it'd be like
(legend: match no match added)
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz--
abbcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyyz

if you were going from the end it'd be like
--abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
abbcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyyz

but somehow somebody programmed an algorithm that can see what a human intuitively sees, i.e.
a-bcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxy-z
abbcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyyz

how? what sorcery is this?

edit: never mind, I just figured it out lol

Quote from: PhantomCatClock on May 15, 2025, 11:38:58 AMthe kid at the bottom of wanikani reference pages makes me think "this feels like it used to be slurpee's avatar, even though I know it has not been"

https://www.wanikani.com/vocabulary/%E6%B5%B7%E8%B3%8A

lol

god

I spent like 2 hours trying to figure out how to get kaggle to run python 3.10 instead of 3.11.11 and it's basically impossible, so I tried running it in google colab, and I spent another 2 hours figuring out that running a kaggle notebook in colab takes more disc space than you get for free and even if I did that I couldn't figure out a way to get colab to recognize the python 3.10 virtual environment instead of the default. so I was like "fuck it, I'll learn to use Docker." learned to use Docker, set it all up, spent like 12 hours getting all of the datasets I needed in place and building the dockerfile and requirements.txt and building the virtual environment and refactoring the jupyter notebook so the filepatha worked with the docker container instead of the kaggle environment it was expecting, and it turned out there was basically no point because docker will crash the kernel if it uses too much memory and I tried increasing the ram available to it and refactoring again and rebuilding and running it again and it still would crash. so instead of Docker today I spent I learned how to run it natively and when I did that there were so many software dependency issues that weren't there in docker because they were maintained for a linux environment but not osx so I was going theough and fixing all of them for another 2 hours and finally it turned out that program A needed to be 2.11.0 and program B needed to be 3.10 but program C was only compatible with with A 2.11.9 and B 3.10 if it was 0.8.12 or earlier and the only versions of C available for my os are 0.10.6 and later and

I don't know how I misspelled "it's" three times. I think apple did something weird to predictive or corrective text. so annoying. just let me type and let my mistakes be my own

Quote from: VCRClock on May 10, 2025, 05:51:27 PMTiffany is pretty good considering I don't think of any other Tiffanys and I actually have no idea what her last name is

I put her on the borderline because when my friend told me about I Think We're Alone Now, he felt like he had to explain, "it a documentary about these two people who are obsessed with, do you know who Tiffany is, the 80's pop star who was just called Tiffany?" instead of just saying "it a documentary about these two people who are obsessed with Tiffany" or even "it a documentary about these two people who are obsessed with the 80's pop star Tiffany"

I don't know how I forgot Slash, that's super embarrassing

successful mononyms: Madonna, Cher, Usher, Prince, Bono, Pink, Rihanna, Sting, Sting, Eminem, Elvis, Beyonce, Adele, Shakira, Selena, Zendaya, Liberace, Drake, Morrissey, Lorde, Fergie, Pele, Charo, Chyna, Teller, Bjork, Nas, Fabio, Twiggy, Xzibit, Moby, Flea, Aaliyah, Divine, Coolio, Ashanti, Banksy, Ciara, Sade, Vanity, Sinbad, Seal, Nelly, Monique, Kesha, Donovan, Beck

borderline: Tiffany, Penn, Sting

Tarsem Singh goes by the mononym Tarsem but if you say "Tarsem" the best you can hope for in response is "Tarsem Singh?" because while he's the only guy named Tarsem of any significance to the general public, he pretty much completely failed to get said general public onboard with just calling him Tarsem

they got oreos right the first time. thin, double, mint... I do not hate them but something must be said I think for the normalcy of perfection, the mundanity

michelle fuko

lol

oh my god
"groggy" comes from "grog"

when you say you're groggy you're literally saying you're like a sleepy drunken sailor

I devised an easy way to remember the number of days in each month
the secret is they all have thirty-one, except for the five that don't, but one of those is february, and we all already know about february. so really to know the number of days in every month, you only have to memorize which ones have thirty

and that's just April and June... 'cept no

April | June | September | November
April | June | 'cept     | no.

alternatively, it may help to picture an ape named Sepno going to temple?

Quote from: RobClock on April 27, 2025, 06:23:16 PMEpisode III still sucks

I remember it as the most watchable of the prequels, but that bar's so low it has been stolen by the mole people

I don't understand how when I get my blood drawn they have to "find a vein" and if they miss it they have to poke me again, but any time I get cut it bleeds. am I full of blood under there or not? make up your minds, game devs

it turns out mario can't do the butt stomp in smash bros so I had to photoshop that together

but I strongly feel that this joke has legs so here is the asset


feel free to use it to make more hilarious edits and impress your friends

Quote from: PhantomCatClock on April 24, 2025, 12:56:57 PMsword of damacles but it's the Smash Bros off-screen indicator showing Mario doing a butt-stomp an indeterminate distance above the throne

you are CAIN MARKO. you're in scotland for work, and you almost hit some jaywalkers



one of them insanely gets on a motorcycle and starts chasing you



you're like wtf
you step out of the car and activate the cyttorak crystal, becoming The Unstoppable Juggernaut. she just crashes her motorcycle directly into your parked car



you're like HEY. THE FUCK? YOU BETTER START TALKING.

and she's like "I'm Kylie Minogue."


and you're like "oh my god, Kylie Minogue!? I'm your biggest fan! 🤩"


she slashes your tires and tries to drug you




you're like "you'd better stop that, kylie minogue. I'm actually the juggernaut and you're pissing me off" then she tries to blind you and bury you under an avalanche, which you easily smash


then she falls off a cliff into the ocean like a dipshit


you go down and yank her out of the water


you're like "kylie minogue CALM DOWN you're a singer." and she's like "FUCK CALLISTO! AIEEEEEEEEEEE" and shoots you with lasers and you're like "argh god fuck who's callisto???"


she just starts blasting you with every one of her zam zark lasers and you're like for fucks sake woman what part of "the unstoppable juggernaut" were you confused about


and you're like "are you done??? listen, you'll always be a superstar to me "
then she drops dead



and you're like "kylie minogue!!! noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!"



...? um, oh! the end.