you are CAIN MARKO. you're in scotland for work, and you almost hit some jaywalkers



one of them insanely gets on a motorcycle and starts chasing you



you're like wtf
you step out of the car and activate the cyttorak crystal, becoming The Unstoppable Juggernaut. she just crashes her motorcycle directly into your parked car



you're like HEY. THE FUCK? YOU BETTER START TALKING.

and she's like "I'm Kylie Minogue."


and you're like "oh my god, Kylie Minogue!? I'm your biggest fan! 🤩"


she slashes your tires and tries to drug you




you're like "you'd better stop that, kylie minogue. I'm actually the juggernaut and you're pissing me off" then she tries to blind you and bury you under an avalanche, which you easily smash


then she falls off a cliff into the ocean like a dipshit


you go down and yank her out of the water


you're like "kylie minogue CALM DOWN you're a singer." and she's like "FUCK CALLISTO! AIEEEEEEEEEEE" and shoots you with lasers and you're like "argh god fuck who's callisto???"


she just starts blasting you with every one of her zam zark lasers and you're like for fucks sake woman what part of "the unstoppable juggernaut" were you confused about


and you're like "are you done??? listen, you'll always be a superstar to me "
then she drops dead



and you're like "kylie minogue!!! noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!"



...? um, oh! the end.

=(

[u2]vLe_BZ1mo3I[/u2]

me wan da poonany

popular japanese female motorcycle enthusiast reveals herself to be a middle-aged man using faceapp:
https://www.bbc.com/news/amp/world-asia-56447357


Epic releases MetaHuman Creator, a tool for creating realistic human faces:
https://www.rockpapershotgun.com/amp/epics-tool-for-creating-human-faces-is-out-in-early-access-now
[u2]OeUBATSJSr0[/u2]



new app allows social media influencers to monetize their daily lives:
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/10/style/creators-selling-selves.html

QuoteOne comes in the form of NewNew, a start-up in Los Angeles, that describes its product as creating a "human stock market." On the app, fans pay to vote in polls to control some of a creator's day-to-day decisions.
For example, a creator can use NewNew to post a poll asking which sweater they should wear today, or who they should hang out with and where they should go. Fans purchase voting power on NewNew's platform to participate in the polls, and with enough voting power, they get to watch their favorite influencer live out their wishes, like a real life choose-your-own-adventure game.

"Creators are burning out, but their fans want more and more," said Jen Lee, 25, the founder of a popular creator economy community on Discord. "By monetizing each aspect of their life, they can extract value from everyday interactions."

Courtne Smith, the founder and chief executive of NewNew, said the company was "similar to the stock market" in that "you can buy shares, which are essentially votes, to be able to control a certain level of a person's life."

"We're building an economy of attention where you purchase moments in other people's lives, and we take it a step further by allowing and enabling people to control those moments," she said.

QuoteWhile the beta test is still invite-only for creators, Ms. Smith hopes that eventually everyone — from celebrities to average people — will be able to leverage it to monetize their lives.

"Sure, it's fun to control a famous influencer or celebrity, but it's honestly just as entertaining to control someone you go to school with, or your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, or an author planning their next sci-fi novel, or a beauty founder creating their next makeup palette," she said. "It doesn't matter how boring you think you are, there's someone out there who would find your life interesting to the point that they're willing to pay."

calm down

for those of you who aren't aware, because we're getting to the point where a few of you might legitimately be too young to remember, many years ago, something happened on September 11th in the United States that must never be forgotten:

Rage Against the Machine was booked to play a concert in the small town of Spanish Fork, Utah, and the residents were so terrified they boarded up their houses and shit lol

[u2]_6k8fFlhvQo[/u2]
https://m.cityweekly.net/BuzzBlog/archives/2014/08/08/today-is-the-anniversary-of-spanish-fork-accidentally-booking-rage-against-the-machine-and-everyone-losing-their-minds

that is YOUR KIDS JOB, other moms

unless they are in a PERSISTENT VEGETATIVE STATE, in which case somebody else is just going to have to take care of it

i got enough in the tank for ONE, the rest of this is NOT MY REAPONSIBILITY!!!!

this weekend only, all the POINTS you get will be DOUBLED

I'm pretty sure Marvel was courting controversy for publicity, but they don't seem to have gained an iota of mainstream attention

like, do regular people even KNOW captain america was an agent of hydra for the last 13 months?
do they know he's a super soldier again?
do they know he'd stopped being a super soldier?
do they know he's alive again?
did they even know he died?

hypothesis: nobody cares, comic books! stop trying to shock people into paying attention to you! just tell good stories

unless you count bugs, which I don't, unless they're giant, which they're not, or they have human faces, which they haven't. something is killing people yeah but then not eating or even evicerating them and then I'm supposed to think the only two characters who took some initiative and put a couple dead bodies out as bait to see what they're dealing with are childish morons because ??? what are you doing do you know what story you're adapting? you obviously do since you cribbed plot threads not just from the book but the frank darabont movie as well. but oh the psycho mom who randomly murdered a guy because she noticed he had a gun and then started carrying the gun around with her is GREAT and acting VERY RATIONALLY and the old lady who pointlessly got another character killed because she wanted to go outside and then changed her mind because she saw him die and thought nothing of it is just fucking wise and mystic and I could give totally a shit about her after that.

also they keep killing my favorite characters (dog, old guy, drunk) and there's like seven super obvious tired-assed subplots like oh the star football player is a rapist but everybody lets him get away with it and the town cop is a bully and the gay kid with unconventional worldview has no friends and gets picked on and the military guys are hiding something and the overprotective mom is acting on baggage from her own past and the old lady is "in tune with nature" and has unexplained supernatural connections to what's going on I HAVE HEARD ALL OF THESE SONGS BEFORE BITCH WHERE👏ARE👏THE👏MONSTERS. I don't want to hear that man is the real monster unless you're saying it with house-sized lobsterscorpions that bisect toby jones with one snip of their massive claws or tentacles with mouths and teeth you WEAK COWARDS.
LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE FOLLOWING:





AND YOU BRING ME THIS BEES IN THE EAR SHIT?

otoh I was doing daniel bryan YES!'s when they killed off mrs. carmody, a particularly irritating character from the book and film (here less ably played) much sooner than expected. also the lady's eulogy for her husband was actually pretty touching, and the bad bitch with the pill problem and the amnesiac soldier are actually cool characters but like why is he keeping his amnesia a secret?? it's that ensemble long form tv show shit of just everybody has to have one moronic trait that'll cause trouble down the line so they'll just do shit that makes no sense. also I'm sorry but when the fuck are we going to stop seeing tens of thousands of dollars being poured into a shitty CG effect that could've been accomplished with latex and corn syrup and looked a thousands times more believable on a fraction of the budget videodrome was only 35 fucking years ago

final thoughts: the movie is pretty good and I'm probably going to end up watching the rest of this season anyway damn my eyes

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/683816

vote fffno i don't care actually just tell me im good

tell me im good



tell me im good tell me im good tell me im good tell me im good tell me im good

remember this shit?

• it's good.

[u2]fkNV-0O1ya8[/u2]
[u2]_Wc1-q1CX_E[/u2]

you: what are frogs?

Alex trebek: during the second plague, these amphibians came out of the water

[u2]lPOxTCNFjFA[/u2]

bury me in the booty club

I'll go first:

-nothing, you are all special and wonderful to me and have done me no wrong. I wish you the best this holiday season =)

so if it were different this time, that'd be good.

interior crocodile alligator
I drive a Chevrolet movie theater

wat do u think of the gamersgate? i think it's dumb, if u like it you are basically guided by ur own butthurt and are only owning yourself.

too much truth for you? come at me bruhttttt

I told them, "you will grow to be something inventive and electric; you are healthy, you are special, you are present"
then I let them go