How is Jimmy Carter still alive? Does he have a backup supply of Australium? Like genuinely, how the hell is a crinkly old potato chip like him not dead!

Wut

𝓓𝓮𝓶𝓾𝓻𝓮

Quote from: DingleberryClock on August 08, 2024, 03:50:45 PMHow are you?

I have a brain tumor. Can't work and I'm bored and reconnecting with people and stuff.

I'm sorry to hear that man, I feel bad that you have to go all through that. I wish you only the best for the future Dingleberry.

(P.S. Sorry that it was a short message with few words, I just don't know what to really say. Again, I wish you the very, very, VERY best.

What did I forget again?

8 more days

Can you see it? Do you see that beautiful bright light? There it is. Oh, that's the sun. Don't stare directly into that.

Quote from: Slurpee on July 30, 2024, 11:42:43 PM

Quote from: JooceClock on July 30, 2024, 08:07:02 PMBill Murray is at my front door. He demands money. What do I say?

say thank you and give him the money

Now he's asking me questions about scientology and about "DXOCFBIA QXIB LC QTL HFQQFBP."
And threatened me with a shoe and a broken bottle.

Bill Murray is at my front door. He demands money. What do I say?

Blink twice if they have a discount

Quote from: Slurpee on July 13, 2024, 03:37:51 AMI was downstairs reading at ~1:15 in the morning and I heard loud banging from somewhere in the house, then two indistinct male voices out front, then more banging. I turned the lights out so I could take a look outside without being seen by whoever it is, but couldn't see shit through the peephole. I went to flick another light on to like get my bearings and see my feet for a second, and the light wouldn't turn on. went to another light. wouldn't turn on either. power in the whole house was out. whoever is outside cut the power to my house. wtfwtfwtf

it was the electric company. they're replacing some power lines -_-

plot twist: the electric company is cutting the power to your house to give you a moist cake from a past birthday.

HALLELUJAH!

The Goofy Goober Song is for mature audiences only.

can't math right now.

surfin' the web

Betelgeuse,
Betelgeuse,
Betelgeuse.

simple jokes have a lot of meaning

i think i know why the chicken crossed the road

but i don't want to say it. you guys figure it out.

$5.00 on Temu

oh wait that's a raccoon nvm