Quote from: RobClock on August 01, 2026, 05:47:42 PMTwo weeks 'til 25



Love you guys

{{{rob}}}

also fuck I have once again not done shit for clock day lol

Quote from: PhantomCatClock on July 22, 2026, 12:54:58 PMa cube would help

sorry I'm late, hope you can still use this

starting a band called What Your Parents Tell You so that people ask each other "do you listen to What Your Parents Tell You?"

making a movie called This Shit
making a thoughtful artsy indie game about loneliness called With Yourself
making a really tough pixel platformer called You're Meat Today

trepid – fearful
trepidation – fearfulness
trepidatious – showing fearfulness
trepidatiousness – habit of showing fearfulness
intrepidatiousness – habit of showing a lack of fearfulness
intrepidatiousnessification – the process of or tendency towards developing a habit of showing a lack of fearfulness
antiintrepidatiousnessification – ideological opposition to the process of or tendency towards developing a habit of showing a lack of fearfulness
antiintrepidatiousnessificationosity – the substance of ideological opposition to the process of or tendency towards developing a habit of showing a lack of fearfulness
antiintrepidatiousnessificationosityish – resembling the substance of ideological opposition to the process of or tendency towards developing a habit of showing a lack of fearfulness
antiintrepidatiousnessificationosityishism – the belief in the superiority of resembling the substance of ideological opposition to the process of or tendency towards developing a habit of showing a lack of fearfulness
antiintrepidatiousnessificationosityishist – an adherent of the belief in the superiority of resembling the substance of ideological opposition to the process of or tendency towards developing a habit of showing a lack of fearfulness
antiintrepidatiousnessificationosityishistly – in the manner of an adherent of the belief in the superiority of resembling the substance of ideological opposition to the process of or tendency towards developing a habit of showing a lack of fearfulness

JULIET
O, swear not by the moon, th' inconstant moon,
That monthly changes in her circled orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.

ROMEO


ROMEO
What shall I swear by?

JULIET
Do not swear at all.
Or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self,
Which is the god of my idolatry,
And I'll believe thee.

ROMEO


ROMEO
If my heart's dear love—

JULIET
Well, do not swear. Although I joy in thee,
I have no joy of this contract tonight.
It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden,
Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be
Ere one can say "It lightens." Sweet, good night.
This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath,
May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet.
Good night, good night. As sweet repose and rest
Come to thy heart as that within my breast.

ROMEO

Quote from: PhantomCatClock on July 17, 2026, 08:23:08 AMthought that job interview went really well until it ended and I saw my reflection in the monitor and remembered I was wearing my I WIPE MY ASS WITH KLEENEX® shirt

could happen to anyone

I think a really good test of artistic ability is if you can draw these fucking things:




maddening

if you're able to convey the idea of these things clearly in a given medium, you are pretty fucking good in that medium

everybody I know who owned a crossfire game ripped the guns off the board so they could shoot the metal balls at each other. I only know one person person who owned crossfire but he said everybody did it

Quote from: VCRClock on July 15, 2026, 09:29:54 PMthe leather-clad hoverboard deathmatch would be the simplest VR goggle game to make ever. other than that there's another dumb title called Crossfire, why has nobody done that yet? woulda sold more Meta Quests than the Metaverse was going to.

you might be a genius

I was in the movie theater with my friend Dan once and I was thinking about those little strips of lights movie theaters used to have near the floor that indicated the path in case of emergency. as a kid they were like magic. in the 90's there was this general cultural sense that glowing colored light meant "the future." movies, museums, shopping malls, computer equipment, CD players, stereo systems— laser = science = technology = machines. like the TGRI building in ninja turtles 2 where they had a giant piece of technology that was just an inexplicable series of tubes and lights that served no clear purpose. if it glowed, it was obviously doing something very advanced

all this ran through my head, wordlessly, as a general feeling, and I asked Dan, "d'you- r'member,, lasers? "

and Dan laughed under his breath so hard he couldn't speak and eventually managed, "did you just ask me if I remember lasers?"
and I laughed and nodded
and I was like, "like! the conception of lasers, as it used to be? everything used to have lasers. or we assumed. the grocery scanner, smoke detectors, automatic doors, tv remotes- we just assumed there were lasers. and there were little running laser lights along the walls, in arcades, and, like, here, in movie theaters there would be-"
and he was like "yeah, I understand what you mean. yeah! we don't really have that anymore. I was completely caught off guard because the way you asked you just asked me 'do you remember lasers?'"

I have learned there's a Russian equivalent of "deez nuts"

if you can find some way to get your friend to say 300, you get to reply "suck the tractor driver's dick"
and that means you gottem

the entire justification for this is that in russian "300" (трис, "trista") rhymes with "suck off the tractor driver" (отсоси у тракториста, "otsosi u traktorista")

you may notice that "trista" rhymes with "traktorista" without the part about sucking his dick. correct. as far as I can tell there's absolutely no deeper meaning or wordplay or missed cultural context or anything, they just added the part about sucking his dick and everybody went with it,
much like how the word "these" could go in front of basically anything, but for some reason we decided you get to say "nuts" and that means you gottem

nelly is japanese and actually meant to simg "it's getting hot in hell"

"you are a vaingritticrüboi" -odin
"and you are an olmanannaful!" -thor

I think your prayers could pierce the darkness of giygas

I think you could do it

testing these questions on larry david (fictionalized version, from curb your enthusiasm):

could x solve the kira case? no
could x resist the one ring? no
could x out of duty allow themselves to be remembered forever as a traitor to their country and be killed by naked snake in order to avert open warfare between the united states and the soviet union? no
could x double-clutch like they should instead of granny shifting and frying those piston rings? no
could x kill sidney prescott? yes
could x hack the gibson? no
could x defeat the undertaker at wrestlemania? no
could x tame and ride a leonopterix, thus proving they are Toruk Makto? no
could x make the Jecht shot? no
could x redeem darth vader? no
could x buy booze with a 25 year old's Hawaiian ID that just says "mclovin"? no
could x kiss the merovingian's wife in a way that would get her to help them free the keymaker? no
could x think about nothing when prompted to choose the form of the destructor? no
could x put their hands in the uh... box thing? no
could x figure out how to play dwarf fortress? no
could x find a mrs. claus to get married to so they don't turn back into tim allen? no
could x string odysseus's bow? no
could x's prayers pierce the darkness of giygas? no
could x's mind correlate its contents enough to recognize that the bas relief carved by henry anthony wilcox is the same creature depicted in the statue of unidentified green and black stone recovered from the supposed voodoo ritual in new orleans and the singular tribe of degenerate eskimos in west greenland, and connect it to a stray article from an australian newspaper detailing the discovery of a derelict ship? no
could x win so much fame as a gladiator that they force the new emperor, who is the murderer of their wife and child, to duel them? no
could x save jill from becoming crushed by the falling ceiling even though they said they were going back to the dining room to look for clues? no

is there a third interesting open pop culture question after "could x solve the kira case?" and "could x resist the one ring?"?

I feel like they're fun questions because one is a fundamental test of their worldview and reasoning capabilities, the other of their resilience and humility, aspects of character that aren't typically pushed to their limits by a normal adventure

a third question would have to fundamentally test some other aspect of a character that isn't normally tested in such a pure way

brainstorming
• could x out of duty allow themselves to be remembered forever as a traitor to their country and be killed by naked snake in order to avert open warfare between the united states and the soviet union?
• could x double-clutch like they should instead of granny shifting and frying those piston rings?
• could x kill sidney prescott?
• could x hack the gibson?
• could x defeat the undertaker at wrestlemania?
• could x tame and ride a leonopterix, thus proving they are Toruk Makto?
• could x make the Jecht shot?
• could x redeem darth vader?
• could x buy booze with a 25 year old's Hawaiian ID that just says "mclovin"?
• could x kiss the merovingian's wife in a way that would get her to help them free the keymaker?
• could x think about nothing when prompted to choose the form of the destructor?
• could x put their hands in the uh... box thing? I don't know what the hell dune's about sorry
• could x figure out how to play dwarf fortress?
• could x find a mrs. claus to get married to so they don't turn back into tim allen?
• could x string odysseus's bow?
• could x's prayers pierce the darkness of giygas?
• could x's mind correlate its contents enough to recognize that the bas belief carved by henry anthony wilcox is the same creature depicted in the statue of unidentified green and black stone recovered from the supposed voodoo ritual in new orleans and the singular tribe of degenerate eskimos in west greenland, and connect it to a stray article from an australian newspaper detailing the discovery of a derelict ship?
• could x win so much fame as a gladiator that they force the new emperor, who is the murderer of their wife and child, to duel them? am I remembering that right? gladiator was kind of a silly movie
• could x save jill from becoming crushed by the falling ceiling even though they said they were going back to the dining room to look for clues?

god this post is stupid

characters who could resist the one ring AND solve the kira case
droopy dog. I told you this already. you really must pay more attention

Itchy & Scratchy Land has a joke about John Travolta being washed up
it aired October 2nd, 1994, just twelve days before Pulp Fiction revitalized his career

I don't have a joke, I just thought that was interesting

Quote from: PhantomCatClock on July 04, 2026, 08:36:55 PMi played video games all day but i trust nothing cringe happened

as I said, no more news for a while

today:
- two people climbed the empire state building and hung up a flag that said something about love and then got engaged. fine. I don't care
- was duke nukem's bbirthday. happy birthday duke
- was postal service appreciation day. or postal worker appreciation day? I'm not gonna check, but thank you postel service and workers, I appreciate you =)
- a catholic archbishop went rogue and tried to consecrate four new bishops without the pope's mandate. all five men have been automatically excommunicated. like the pope didn't do it, they excommunicated themselves by doing this. apparently they're still mad about the second vatican counsel from 1965 lol. dorks.
- sony announced they would stop producing new video game discs and were going all digital and also that they were closing the ps3 store. this comes shortly after they decided that a bunch of customers' digital purchases of movies no longer count and the people who bought them no longer own them. this is also stupid
- the u.s. beat bosnia in soccer. and is NOT going to be the only soccer world cup host country to not make it into the final 16. apparently we are hosting the soccer world cup? who knew? anyway getting into the top 16 is basically winning, so congratulations to america

this has been THE NEWS. it's too many. no more news for a while. thank you for reading THEW NEWS.