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Topics - VCRClock

#21
for the price of admitting one person to the buffet, you could be taking a prostitute to little caesar's, but it's unlimited pizza, right?

you grab a couple of slices and sit down. the pizza has been sitting out and it's kind of cold. figures. you take a bite. wait a minute, that isn't cheese, it's SHIT and GROSS. you finish a slice. maybe it was just that one. nope, the other slice makes it clear: cici's is from a different school of thought, one that has some avant-garde ideas about what cheese is

it's unlimited pizza, and yet, you find that you do not want any more pizza

cici slides your stack of poker chips towards themself and puffs a cigar
#22
Cooking & Food / I bought salsa
January 28, 2019, 07:41:53 PM
I bought some salsa, but I forgot that the kind of salsa I bought was one that I think is uncomfortably hot. Like if there isn't water or more salsa on my tongue right now, I'm in pain and probably not even tasting anything. Anyway, after slamming down chips and salsa nonstop until there was no salsa left in the bowl, I had to cool off. I had water, but that only helps a little because capsaicin or whatever is more like an oil that sticks to your tongue like napalm? Milk's supposed to work better, but I didn't have any milk. But I realized I had peanut butter, which is oily, and I thought I'd try eating a spoonful of peanut butter instead. Not only did it work, it's the best idea I've had in recent memory.

That's all.
#23
General Discussion / corpesgrinderclock compassion thred
December 09, 2018, 06:57:05 PM
i'd like to apologize to my constituents for deviating from my usual platform of "don't do anything" but at corpsegrinder's request I have burned down his post history. i would like to express my sincere appreciation of his service to the clock crew by means of prolific shitposting prior to his resignation a few years(?) ago

i realize this amounts to deleting half the forum, but it's only doing something he could have done himself if he'd had time to delete upwards of 10k posts individually

even if this means we lose some valuable content, y'all are just posting in ccbt anyway and anything more than a few days old is just there for comfort purposes. this isn't unprecedented; we've had database fuckups and intentional space-saving purges in the past. there's some content that's not meant to last forever, but will live on in our hearts, such as a certain photo involving corpsegrinderclock, a wall clock, and a cigar

this is the thread for further discussion of corpsegrinderclock's recent misfortune as the previous one is gone
#24
Mrs. McGruder's House / vcrclock's progress bar
May 06, 2018, 08:36:24 AM
here have some progress

i'm on line 5716
#25
Adults category to follow. Can't put Doug up against a heavyweight like Mr. Dink.
#26
for the tech savvy among you, I'd been using what had been our host's nameservers and they changed them without telling me, rendering clockcrew.net unresolvable

for the less tech savvy, it's not my fault

sorry it took me a couple of days I assumed it wasn't a real outage

apologies to those members who just about have a heart attack and assume the clock crew is finally dead every time we go down
#27
Clock Crew News / clock crew spamfreinds
May 30, 2017, 07:36:19 PM
hello,

you may have noticed an influx of new friends recently who really want you to check out billiardball10's newgrounds

i ask that you welcome them with open arms as you would any other new member

to encourage these fresh young faces, our world-class it team have upgraded our forum software to the latest version (usually I get an email about this, this time I didn't) and we now require prospective members to know who the king of the portal is
#28
the law says i don't have to

y'all are cut off

and before you ask, yes, if you had previously been "friends with benefits" under the clock crew benefits program, you will now be "friends" going forward

i'm not sorry fucking deal with it at least you don't have lady health problems
#29
this kills the clock crew

if you wanted to do some subdomain forwarding why didn't you try talking to me

thanks
#30
Necrapolis / do i permaban bb10?
May 16, 2016, 05:38:20 PM
hi, your friendly administrator here

i'm running a mostly dead website and i feel a little bit responsible for making it a nice place to be

a while back i banned bb10 for 30 days and told him to shape up or ship out
he came back and he has been trying to shape up, in his own bb10 kind of way

recently, notorious shitposter nintendoclock has found it difficult to stop talking about how bb10 is ruining the clock crew
i can deal with kinder, gentler bb10; i can probably tolerate regular nintendoclock; i can't deal with the drama. i'd feel responsible if i made you guys have to watch it. that'd make me want to stop coming here. it already does.

bb10 is a polarizing figure people tend to care about one way or the other. in this week, during which both bb10 and nintendoclock are banned, please decide for me whether or not you want to see more of bb10.

of course we could also get rid of agitator nintendoclock, but i'm not really seeing a nintendoclock hate movement. i'm not going to make a "permaban nintendoclock?" poll, but i'd look at the results if there were one.
#31
Mrs. McGruder's House / TEAR YOUR ACL IN 2016
January 17, 2016, 04:27:17 PM
marlinclock's going to

this is the year

psych yourself up and tear your own acl

just do it

ps if you use the "new posts" button like me and don't look at forum indexes, it may shock you to discover how often bb10 is the last poster still beating the dead horse in any given thread
#32
I've uploaded the files from the Clock Crew Library to /library/.
Since I'm not a bigshot PHP wizard, I have not tried to implement PineappleClock's Library code, which was designed to work with vBulletin and which I haven't even begun to try to reverse-engineer.
The files are organized first by filetype, then in folders according to the first character of the original filename.
I know that's not really intuitive, especially when the file you're looking for might have been given a weird filename, but if I ever go crazy and get the Library proper working again, everything will be where the Library database expects it to be.
I am assuming that everything uploaded to the Library was intended to be visible to the public. If you find a file you created that needs to be deleted, please tell me.

To prevent the internet (not you) from destroying my bandwidth, the Library files are behind a simple username and password.

The username is "clockcrew".
The password is the Newgrounds portal ID number for "B."

My goal in migrating the .cc forum to this one was just to make the posting experience not suck as much. I apologize that the usefulness of the Library has suffered as a result of the migration.
Please bear with me while I occasionally perform an administrative duty.
#33
NO! NO, YOU BAD CAT! SSS

I'LL EAT IT.
#35
Mrs. McGruder's House / attn clock crew: hmd
May 10, 2014, 04:59:10 PM
happy mother's day
#36
big ups to CANADA and CHAD KROEGER (did you know she married chad kroeger) for makin this possible



so anyway

what's the shortest length of rope you can buy at home depot
#38
(serious question)
#39
Mrs. McGruder's House / TEAR YOUR ACL IN 2014
January 28, 2014, 06:14:48 PM
(JUST DO IT)
#40
why avatar upload is fucke dup