News:

If you need instructions on how to get through the hotels, check out the enclosed instruction book.

Main Menu

Hey guys, APB and Everquest 2 are free on Steam

Farted by Topcatyo, December 09, 2011, 11:12:13 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Topcatyo


I started my career as a police officer off on the right foot by immediately using my new powers to commandeer a vehicle from a civilian.


I didnââ,¬â,,¢t use the vehicle, though, I just took it and left it on the road.  An elderly woman who was listening to Pendulum and had the exact same car pulled up behind so I decided to jump on her car and dance for one other police recruit who watched me for a whole two seconds.


Body Count: 3
Cause of Death: Stray bullet fire from police officer NosferBLATBLATu, who was aiming the gun directly at their heads.


I followed this guy around for a couple of minutes while firing my gun at him.  He seemed, and was unfazed, as Friendly Fire is not on in APB.


Body Count: 4
Cause of Death: Shot to the foot.


Body Count: 7
Cause of Deaths: Bullets indiscriminately fired at perp ââ,¬Å"Ivan4hââ,¬Â failed to hit their intended target.  It turns out you canââ,¬â,,¢t kill other players in the Tutorial section anyways.


However after I shot him a couple more times he did turn into a bag of flour.


Somebody was dumb enough to give me a car with no questions asked.


I used my new police equipment to follow this ââ,¬Å"minecraft99ââ,¬Â dude around relentlessly.







Eventually I had to give up the chase because as it turns out you canââ,¬â,,¢t ram your vehicle into somebody elseââ,¬â,,¢s vehicle too much otherwise your vehicle explodes.


Me admiring the graffiti that Iââ,¬â,,¢m totally supposed to paint over or something.


Me using my new police powers to watch people undress.


Through some stroke of luck I managed to find Minecraft99 again.  I peppered his car with as many bullets as I possibly could).


Body Count: 14
Cause of Most Recent Death:  Shot her with bullets to look up her skirt and see her hoo-haw.


FUCK YOU MINECRAFT99


I received my first mission.  I am instructed to remove some spraypaint.  Mission progress is impeded in the beginning by some strange wall conjured by black magic.


Made time to chase (and kill) the milkman.  Body Count: 15.


YOU HAVE ENCOUNTERED A: Graffiti ââ,¬Å"Tagââ,¬Â
First I weakened the enemy with some automatic weapon fire before going in for the killing blow.


There was plenty of collateral damage from the intense fight.  Body Count: 20.


THE KILLING BLOW


Itââ,¬â,,¢s Super Effective!
You know, I could argue that spraypainting over cool graffiti with ugly graffiti isnââ,¬â,,¢t a very effective tactic for cleaning up the streets, but Iââ,¬â,,¢m not a cop.  Oh wait yes I am.


I was instructed to spraypaint over another tag somewhere else in the district.  I headed over there right away, making sure to feed Carzilla along the way.


TAKE THIS UC DAVIS STUDENTS


With my mission completed I made my way out of the mall like a normal citizen.  I may be a cop, but I donââ,¬â,,¢t let the power get to my head.


While checking my mail, my car blew up.  I didnââ,¬â,,¢t stop reading my e-mail, though.  I wanted to see what Danny, the lead singer of Blind Vortex.

Topcatyo


Body count: 36
Cause of Death: Look, I fucking shot her, okay?


Iââ,¬â,,¢m just posting this because my guy looks really funky in this shot.


Showing this ââ,¬Å"Mirri Kentââ,¬Â lady my sweet gun moves.  I tried shooting her when she didnââ,¬â,,¢t give a shit, but I canââ,¬â,,¢t.


I get my next mission: Plant a bug somewhere because of things.


Youââ,¬â,,¢d think a police officer would find a better place to hide a bug, but what you donââ,¬â,,¢t know is that these bugs weââ,¬â,,¢re planting are invisible.


When an immovable object meets an unstoppable force.


ââ,¬Å"I donââ,¬â,,¢t know what to do on the screen where it tells me to feed it a stray cat.ââ,¬Â


There will be no bubbles for anybody!  Even police officers!


On tonightââ,¬â,,¢s episode of APB: Reloaded, special agent NosferBLATBLATu must plant another invisible bug somewhere, or theyââ,¬â,,¢ll kill his daughter.


FUCK DOORS


Man, the price of gas has been so low lately!


I harassed this Vedsted dude for a while.  I just followed his car around for 5 minutes.



It all came to a stop when he crashed into this wall.  When I looked in the vehicle, he was nowhere to be found, and he never left the car.  Itââ,¬â,,¢s like heââ,¬Â¦ vanishedââ,¬Â¦
But he probably logged off.


Body Count: 67
Cause of Death: Died after being gently caressed by my vehicle.  These civilians have no survival skills.


My next mission had me smash a door with a battering ram (because fuck doors), and then I had to carry dynamite somewhere.
They let me, a new recruit, carry dynamite unsupervised somewhere else.  Good going San Pedro.  Now I understand why everybody in your city is dying.


Lucky for them I completed the mission like they wanted (I really wanna get out of this training area)


A real OG keeps his inbox clean.


Then the game got weird and it gave me the final tutorial mission again.


Then some dude started shooting at me with his gun.  I returned fire, but since neither of us is allowed to kill each other here, it all basically played out like that Dead Weather music video.


The game continued to be weird by telling me there was a mailbox right here.
But there wasnââ,¬â,,¢t.  Ooh, spooky.


With the tutorials completed I went to the social hub, which starts you off in a dance floor.


One day I hope to look just as good as this guy.


Before I quit for the night, I decided to try and have a last little bit of fun with Minecraft99


Hopefully next time I play, now that I'm at the real part of the game, I can do some real shennanigans.

buttplug

that was fucking hilarious. You could probably sell that to a website as an article.

TelephoneClock

I named my Enforcer character modusOPERANDI

Let's do this. (Steam name Telephone Clock)

ActionClock

[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]