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[AMPM]

I'm probably not the best person to be doing this, honestly, because I'm really not very good at it, myself

)

Aaah my GOD all of that makes so much goddamn sense, yeah I will really take all that into consideration, thanks again so much for going over it more and making the mock up, really that helps a lot. thanks thanks thanks

[SpongeClock SquarePants]

Basically all the stuff slurpee mentioned. I must also mention there is something really interesting about the style, something that kept me interested where the story failed to convince. The sample technique that slurpeedick described would really help out the flow and grab the readers attention. I think i once saw a good book on visual storytelling for comics etc. maybe it was this one : http://www.amazon.com/Understanding-Comics-The-Invisible-Art/dp/006097625X/ref=pd_sim_b_2

[BilliardBall10]

you flatter me.

I'm probably not the best person to be doing this, honestly, because I'm really not very good at it, myself

but, since you asked, a mock-up of how I might rework a portion of it:

you are very eloquent.
seriously.

also, i want to see more comics like this slurpee. i know you did this to explain some principles in comic art, but i found it hillarious. plz do more comics, man!

the site is long long gone. its sad.

DUDE. i know that the site is probably dead, but:
do YOU have any copies/images saved in your PC, from your old comic ''Clock Comix''?
if so, link me to them via imageshack, or e-mail them to me.

you must have kept something out of this comic!

also, action-clocks ''lunchbox surprise'' was a great comic. i might post a few links/images.

AND:

brainsnail, your art is good, and you are really good, but man, you just have to add a bit more into the story.
i dont know, maybe add some more characters? add some backstory in the two protagonists, guitar dude, and alan, and how they first met, why dylan hates him, etc etc.

and show us some good change in the story, like a grand oportunity for them, like a chance to play for a big band's opening show, or a sudden contest for a reallity show(american idol, england you've got talent, sing your heart out, whatever), and show them trying to get the magic audition, to finally get some fame, and recognition.

or even, make a twist, and make them win an audition for a hollywood studio, despite them being singers, and not actors, it would be fun.

[AMPM]

http://inthenoweventually.com/post/59526985327 i'll just leave this here in case anyone has some more good advice

[BilliardBall10]

i didnt understood the guy's catchline about ''it never did''.
what does it mean

[AMPM]

its cuz it never did

[pop-tart]

NEVER???

[AMPM]

...











































never

[BilliardBall10]

i just read all the 22 pages.
it was very enjoyable, and i especially liked the driving lessons part, which was really funny.

i liked how you've drawn the driving instructor, and the whole ordeal.

was this inspired by a..personal experience?!

i like where this is going, tho, you must add more stuff to the stories, like maybe soem more characters, maybe ryland's first love encounters, make him facing love,women, jealousy, drinking, driving, trips, responcibillities, plans for a music carreer, and some more mental battles with alan.

alan is like both his best friend, AND his worst enemy, right?

this comic visually reminds me of mafalda, but in a more violent, immature and adult enviroment.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mafalda

also, in visuals, it does have a look like gardfield, but only a tiny bit.
for the most part the drawing style reminds me of mafalda, but still remains funny and original.

just evolve the story a bit more.
and maybe add more characters to it.

[AMPM]

Thanks man, it's really nice to hear that you enjoyed it!

Also, yeah, it totally does look like that Mafalda, I hadn't seen that comic in a long ass time, though.

[AMPM]

http://inthenoweventually.thecomicseries.com/comics/30/

Hey here is more of the comic, I've been working on a rough copy of a story board so this is really hard to read, but as you look through it keep in mind this is when looking it over. Here's a guide to look at as you read through

Page 1 - We see an alarm clock constantly waking and nagging Ryland who then gets up after knocking it off it's mantle.
page 2 - Ryland decides not to look at the time because it might distress him, and he soon passes out again, and falls over. now annoyed he's determined to look at the time, seeing that it's 3 pm
page 3 - it seems that didn't have any more of a motivating effect. he lies down on the ground moaning, as the looks over at his guitar, and his calender, we can see he hasn't touched the thing in a year, and begrudges himself for it
page 4 - We see him making an attempt to play the guitar, but he really doesn't know HOW to play it, so he ends racking on the thing until a string breaks in his eye
page 5 - ryland sneaks out of his room to get smokes
page 6 - ryland gets a talking to from his mother about not smoking, ryland says, WELL WHAT IF I WASNT HERE WHAT IF MOVED OUT, to which his mother says, she thinks that'd be great but its a lot of work, it's a big responsibility. ryland blows her off and gets back to his room and has a drink. he says 'if im not inspired to play, then i simply CANT play...nope, not inspired!'
page 7 -ryland gets a text from his friend alan who says he's off of work and wants to hang out, ryland tosses the phone and ignores the message, but alan comes by and enters ryland's room anyway

[AMPM]

This here is Lotusclock's awesome interpretation, this is an alternate version he made so I could study different means to tell the story and a different vision of the character and their motivations to see if it is more effective

I'm really curious as to what you guys think of the differences and which one works better, although I KNOW that his art is much better.

http://files.myfrogbag.com/mp4ldh/ampm_eventually1.JPG
http://files.myfrogbag.com/mp4ldh/ampm_eventually2.JPG
http://files.myfrogbag.com/mp4ldh/ampm_eventually3.JPG
http://files.myfrogbag.com/mp4ldh/ampm_eventually4.JPG
http://files.myfrogbag.com/mp4ldh/ampm_eventually5.JPG
http://files.myfrogbag.com/mp4ldh/ampm_eventually6.JPG
http://files.myfrogbag.com/mp4ldh/ampm_eventually7.JPG