I'm calling the police on you!

[AlbinoClock]

kicking her in the shin would ensure that she's already on the ground

Uh, no. She'd obviously try to get up but would have a limp and it would sort of look like her face was rotting off because of the sand. Kicking her in the shin wouldn't make her look like a zombie unless she tried to walk.

[FluxCapacitorClock]

+shit right in her front.

Stuff her swimsuit with shit

[TequilaClock]

Stuff her swimsuit with shit

Shit in the whole beach

[Seriously Dark]

Here's what you need to do:

First apologize for not returning her stuff, and promise to make it up to her by going to the beach.  When on the beach, convince her to perform oral sex upon your penis.  When you're almost done, ask her if she wants to see your zombie impression.  When she asks what you mean, ejaculate into her face, push her head down into the sand, and then kick her right in the shin.  She'll look just like a zombie; I promise.

Then push her on the ground and shit on her chest.

old with a twist

[Solenoidclock]

Burying all of her except her chest to shit on? That's silly, just bury her vertically up to her head and shit on top of it. Then wait for high tide.

High tide is brutal. Just throw a nice box over her head and paint her face to look like Jambi.

[FrankClock]

I think you guys missed the part where he said she lives in Michigan.

Also the only way I think the default picture would be creepy is if the date of the picture was after you broke up with her. Also I think you deleted me off your myspace Avo. I am sad. I want my stuff back or I am calling the cops.

[FluxCapacitorClock]

Shit in the whole beach

Then dig her out of the sand and re-bury her in shit

[Marlin Clock]

So get this. I was dating this girl from Michigan for a month. I live in California, so it was long distance, etc etc. I visited her a couple times, but long story short, I broke up with her. She faked her suicide,  and then I stopped all contact with her.



My crime? Borrowing a book and a Tamagotchi key chain from my ex who lives in Michigan. Maybe she even wants the gifts she gave me back too. A necklace and bracelet.

I don't feel like giving them back either. It's not even worth it. That's what happens when you break up. She fucked me over, and I don't care. If the cops knock on my door, sure, I'll let them ship it for me... but I bet they were on the other line laughing their asses off too. They have much better things to do than worry about some crazy ex's vendetta.



So...
Anybody with me on taking a dump in a box? Amirite?

And btw, her default is a picture of her in my driveway.
Anyone else think that's creepy?

You're legally safe, at least I think so, anyway. I'm pretty sure once something is in uncontested possession of someone for a certain number of weeks it cannot be reclaimed by its former owner.

[DillClock]

fuck that bitch

also, mailing her actual shit that you shat out is a great idea

[Marlin Clock]

fuck that bitch

also, mailing her actual shit that you shat out is a great idea

Yet that would allow some legal recourse.

[OvenmittClock]

+shit right in her front.

no, take some laxatives and give her a taste of CHOCOLATE RAIN!

[Sandiskman]

She'll need that Tomagatchi back to have a love in her life.  Think about what you're depriving her of.  Plus, that book could be from the library, in wich case she might not want to pay late fees.  Think about the consequences of your actions

[LuxenbergClock]

So...
Anybody with me on taking a dump in a box? Amirite?

Oh Avocado, you're not thinking big enough~

[WrenchClock]

Do the only thing you can do.





SHIT.


IN.


A.


BOX.

[Bigglesnoots]

Plus, that book could be from the library, in wich case she might not want to pay late fees.

this makes sense.
though by claiming the gifts back too, I don't think that is the case.

[CD Clock]

Give her the shit and write her a note telling her that that's the lunch she made you that one time.

[WrenchClock]

hahaha yes

[Pinstripe]

Heh, I remember when I was supposedly going to be sued because I accidentally punched a girl in jr high.

there's nothing wrong with keeping your pimp hand strong

[THE HELVETICA SCENARIO]

Asking for gifts back is fucking lame.
I mean seriously what kind of po-faced fucker does that.

[PaperClipClock]

be sure to consult your internet lawyers before taking any action