Childhood Misconceptions

[TapedeckClock]

i thought that if you shaved your hair it would never come back.

[Loki Clock]

i thought that if you shaved your hair it would never come back.

Hey, some of my pubic hair took three years to grow back fully after the first time I cut it off. The some of it was the awkward part.

I thought girls grew butts on their chests.

That's what you're supposed to think.

[Pixelated Knife Clock]

I honestly thought the Pizza Man came from heaven. and believed this for quite some time 3~4, and we once saw a pizza man "fall from the sky" when in fact it was some stoner jumping off his roof with a bunch of his friends.
 
I thought girls had cooties that painfully incinerated your skin to the touch and couldn't be extinquished and it kept eating at your skin
 
I thought girls were evil and the "enemy of our boy team" at recess and we would beat the crap outa girls with my friends, then when I started finding girls attractive 5~6 grade i was called a traitor and was extremely confused thinking i was gay for liking chicks
 
I thought cats could fly so I threw mine out the window... it died and to this day i still have no remorse (age 4)
 
thought an iron was a phone when steam shot out so I tried to pick it up from the ironing board and burnt my hand (my left ring, middle, and index fingers) permenantly (age 1) I have no memory of this but thats what I was told by my parents when I asked about it around kindergarden
 
I thought the boogie man was real and was terrified of my room at night so I managed to get the family shotgun and i fired at my closet and under my bed and heard a scream, I thought I killed it, but it was my mother scared out of her mind. I developed a love for firearms (age 5)
 
for years I thought my family shotgun was a golf club due to it being in a case, i remembered this until i was 5, a few days before the shooting i found out it was a gun. resulting in the previous event
 
when I was little I tried making an electromagnet with my toaster, a magnet and 1 bunch of firecrackers, I brought it to school, i caused a fire in the classroom and they thought it was my teacher's cigarette so they fired him
 
I thought my principle was out to get me in elementary school so I would pull pranks and gags to physically injure him, thus him having a personal hatred of me
 
not really mine, but my sisters, when she was little her and her friend roamed the apartments we lived in and there was supposivly a serial killer dressed in a batman costume that kidnapped and ate little kids. they snuck near his window and found skulls in his trashcan and he popped out and chased them with fangs and blood in his mouth wielding a knife. to this day this is unproven.
 
had an idea that I could drive so I stole my dads car and went joy riding barely seeing above the steering wheel, crashed into my neighbors mailbox
 
thought a serial killer murdered cereal. so I put a lock in my pantry
 
always dreamed of being killed by dolls from my attic that tickled me from my armpits. i have a phobia of armpit tickles and dolls
 
stole my grandpas buck knife and gutted my sisters dolls
 
i thought that my state i lived in (california) was the only place in the world with people, the rest was forest
 
I thought the aliens and bigfoot, even the lochness monster were out to get me
 
tried flying with a red blanket as a cape, jumped out of my apartment ( a 4  story apartment when I was 6.) and landed in a tree, then fell into a bush and crashed into the sandbox. I enjoyed it. and did it again, landed in the public pool
 
thought a monster would come out of the toliet if you looked at it flush and heard the sound.
 
when I was 12, I shot my first arrow from a bow into the air in  random direction and it flew into a nearby neighborhood. we heard a scream, and that night in the local news a man was reportedly "shot in the arm by a stray arrow"
 
thought a fart was a burp, and a burp was a fart
 
had fantasies of living in a video game and playing as the character crash in Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped in Time and ran around outside
 
confused bagels with donuts, cupcakes with muffins, and condoms as balloons
 
took down a 6th grader when I was in 1st grade, he called me names and I retaliated
 
thats all I remember so far, ima sleep now, might post more

[AMPEEEM]

My friend's Dad thought that characters who died in movies were actually dying for the role, and he would think "Wow that person has a lot of devotion to their job"

[SnakeClock]

Knife, you're a destructive retard.

My friend's Dad thought that characters who died in movies were actually dying for the role, and he would think "Wow that person has a lot of devotion to their job"

That's not really a childhood misconception of yours then, is it?

[Blue]

Knife, you're a destructive retard.

That's not really a childhood misconception of yours then, is it?

I used to think the same thing as a child though... For years I though on occasion if someone was going to die, they'd film it and use it in a movie. Why not, I thought?

[SnakeClock]

I used to think the same thing as a child though... For years I though on occasion if someone was going to die, they'd film it and use it in a movie. Why not, I thought?

Did you think you could change it by wiring a VCR to a toaster and a power transformer? Because that would be awesome.

[Slash]

Knife, you're a destructive retard.

Well, letting a shotgun within a kids reach, and an iron within a 1 year olds reach you can imagine how he was brought up.
But my guess is he's just lying.

[SnakeClock]

Well, letting a shotgun within a kids reach, and an iron within a 1 year olds reach you can imagine how he was brought up.
But my guess is he's just lying.

'K then he's just a retard.

[Blue]

Did you think you could change it by wiring a VCR to a toaster and a power transformer? Because that would be awesome.

no, but I believed that humanity and all life on earth had all existed and been wiped out before by wars or natural disasters... At 5 I hypothesized that we were on the 5th iteration of life on earth. I believed that one day we would find evidence of the previous races of humanity on earth among fossils deeper than the dinosaurs.

At one point, at 7 years old, I believed that we were all not actually here on earth, but all plugged into some sort of computer. And everything we saw was just a big video game. And the real world outside was totally different to what we thought. I tried on numerous occasions to concentrate hard enough to see through the illusion.

(And yea, I realize these both sound familiar to the Matrix, which is why I went ape shit for that trilogy)

At age 5, all of my friends thought I was really weird, and told me so. Logically I came to the conclusion that I was in fact a robot, and the only one of my kind. I often made robot noises when eating or walking, but just loud enough for one other person to hear at a time. This further made the other kids think I was weird, which in turn fueled the delusion.

I believed that the Popeye cartoons were, based on some fact, and that spinach had some sort of special magical ingredient that would make you stronger. I learned to love it, and still do to this day.

I believed that blood and rust were very similar. And that boats with rust on them were slowly bleeding to death. I was probably 4.

...edit:

I had a terrible phobia of aliens as a child. Nothing in the world was more horrifying than the greys to me. I could not explain WHY I was so terrified of any pictures, video or anything with these creatures in them. So at age 8 I started believing that I had been abducted by aliens, because that fear must have come from somewhere. This resulted in a series of nightmares and night terrors that intensified and built on top of the delusion and phobia. I didn't break the phobia till my late teens, and still feel uneasy about greys. Not the friendly "Close Encounters" kind, but the silent, standing outside your window, staring-into-your-mind-with-evil-intent kind.

[Hamsa Clock]

I believed for 5 years that my mother was 40.

[Marlin Clock]

Seriously, I knew penis goes into vagina by like age 9. I feel gypped of a clueless childhood.

bullshit

Now this, this is all lies. The shotgun story was the smoking gun.

I believed for 5 years that my mother was 40.

For the longest time I couldn't remember my mom's real age either.

[Slash]

For the longest time I couldn't remember my mom's real age either.

I can only remember my own familliemembers age without a doubt, and I don't know when their birtdays are, and as for my own birthday, I have to concentrate in order to prevent myself from getting it wrong.

[SnakeClock]

Now this, this is all lies. The shotgun story was the smoking gun.

And how does a kid know how to install a lock on a pantry?

[Blue]

Seriously, I knew penis goes into vagina by like age 9. I feel gypped of a clueless childhood.

...For the longest time I couldn't remember my mom's real age either.

I figured the penis and vagina relation at a very very young age. I was 4... and my parents still bathed me and my sister together. I figured they worked like puzzle pieces. But I had no idea why at the time. I figured it was just a convenience... so that people could be stacked together.

I believed my father was an idiot, for not marrying a super-model or one of the ladies from Miss America. I assumed one could simply choose from any of the opposite sex, and as a result I had rather high confidence that followed me for years before I discovered that not all girls would like me. Until then I had numerous girlfriends, I had 5 in first grade alone (at the same time ).

[Slash]

And how does a kid know how to install a lock on a pantry?

Rather, why does a 6 year old kid have an apartmend and decide to jump out twice, and land in the public pool on the second try?

[Blue]

Rather, why does a 6 year old kid have an apartmend and decide to jump out twice, and land in the public pool on the second try?

At 9 I used to wear jeans and a long-sleeved shirt so that I could practice falling out of trees... I believed this would help me be like a ninja, and able to take great falls...  I don't know why but I found it fun, to climb up a tree as high as I could go and let go. As I fell I'd grab everything I could, and try to slow my descent. I'd get lots of bruises and scratched up pretty bad, but no major damage.

I only did this with "soft" trees like evergreens or trees with lots of small limbs, and I'd only climb about 20ft up. But still, pretty damn stupid.

[SnakeClock]

At 9 I used to wear jeans and a long-sleeved shirt so that I could practice falling out of trees... I believed this would help me be like a ninja, and able to take great falls...  I don't know why but I found it fun, to climb up a tree as high as I could go and let go. As I fell I'd grab everything I could, and try to slow my descent. I'd get lots of bruises and scratched up pretty bad, but no major damage.

I only did this with "soft" trees like evergreens or trees with lots of small limbs, and I'd only climb about 20ft up. But still, pretty damn stupid.

You make me want to write a biography on your life, Blue. It sounds more whimsical and compelling than any fiction.

[Blue]

You make me want to write an autobiography on your life, Blue. It sounds more whimsical and compelling than any fiction.

Funny thing is, I'd forgotten about all this shit till this thread came up. I have really clear memories of most of my childhood though, even the really early years... Can't for the life of me remember yesterday though.

[Blue]

Snake wants to write an autobiography of Blue's life.

Am I the only one who caught that?

no... but until I was 9 I thought an autobiography was a book that wrote itself.