whose flood market

[VCRClock]

i have a slurpeepost to commission but i'm afraid it'll end like the crossroads

tell me when youre openm for commissions irri-dis-regardless

i will beat any slurpeeclock price by 20%

who needs a "smart" post by "someone who knows what you're talking about" when you could have $50 in your pocket

[Slurpee]

lol if you think I ever know what anybody's talking about, least of all myself

[Slurpee]

what was I gonna say?

oh


Burden in My Hand is a pretty good song

[RenegadeClock]

For once can we have a super hero with chronic itchy butthole? I can't related to any of these people.

[PhantomCatClock]

pooper hero

[VCRClock]

OH YEAH? WELL EVEN IF YOU DID HAVE A "PRETTY HUGE DICK," YOU'D STILL ONLY EVER BE AN ADJUNCT

[Slurpee]

remember the deepwater horizon oil spill?

and they were like "put a hat on it! throw garbage at it! use hair and ping pong balls!!" etc etc
smdh
then Halliburton was involved somehow
and the solution somehow ended up involving Kevin Costner and drilling more holes

ok: do you remember how, in a Lynchian twist, the oil disappeared?
like not all of it, there was still a lot, but not nearly as much as there should have been, given how much came out, and nobody could find where it went or what the fuck?

apparently they found it in 2015 when nobody cared anymore
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/missing-oil-from-2010-bp-spill-found-on-gulf-seafloor/
it sank into the floor. they don't know how it got there,
(my guess is,
it sank)

but then
in 2017,
this fucken... magical fuckin bacteria had arrived, that eats deepwater horizon oil spills and just deepwater horizon oil spills and no other oil, and it ate up the deepwater horizon oil spill like a fuckjn hungry hungry hippo
https://www.cnbc.com/2017/06/26/much-of-the-deepwater-horizon-oil-spill-has-disappeared-because-of-bacteria.html
ok??? that's just a thing that happens now??
sure, definitely not the work of god, aliens, or a wizard
fuck outta here

[PhantomCatClock]

i saw where a oil-eating bacterium was not, and i said, "no, this will not do."

[GreyClock]

-Excuse me sir, my friend didn't show up and now I need three bucks to get home.
-I don't have any cash.
-Maybe you can load some money on my public transpo card.
-I don't think so, there's like a five buck minimum.

One week later...

-Excuse me sir, my friend didn't show up and now I need three bucks to get home.
-Again? What a flake.
-Again? Uhhh... yeah, yeah... he didn't show up again... I need three bucks.
-No.

Hopefully I'll see him again next week, I'll try and pretend I'm psychic.
-Excuse me sir, my friend didn't show up and now I need three bucks to get home.
-Aaauuuuurrruuuuuuugggghhhiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!! [mind melts]

See, that time it will be me speaking first.

[GreyClock]

-Excuse me sir, my friend didn't show up and now I need three bucks to get home.
-What are you talking about, I'm right here... That hurts me Steve, that hurts me. Just because I'm five minutes late you treat me like this?

[RobClock]

That’s a classic. There was a Tim Hortons not five minutes from my house in high school and every day the same sketchy jackass would be out front “hey bud could I get a toonie off you to catch the bus?”

[FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK]

People outside the circle-k try to sell me their mixtapes sometimes.  They actually have burned cds on hand too. Sometimes even with library printed album covers and thin jewel cases.

[Slurpee]

People outside the circle-k try to sell me their mixtapes sometimes.  They actually have burned cds on hand too. Sometimes even with library printed album covers and thin jewel cases.

I've bought a couple of these
used to see them outside Amoeba all the time but idk I haven't been to berkeley for a while and it seems like they would have moved on to soundcloud or w/e by now

most of them are really bad but I respect the hustle

I will never forget this incredible line:
"[somethin somethin] come up like an elevator/
I can't see 'em, but I can smell-a-hater"

but my favorite was just a blank cd with the guy's stage name written on it. I'm not sure if he didn't know how to burn cd's or if he just wasn't even trying to make a name for himself and was selling blank cd's for a quick buck, but I found it oddly endearing either way

[miracle fruit]

,[u2]P_ZDpl5xrPg?autoplay=1[/u2]

[PhantomCatClock]

hey i heard about ur bleeding asshole did they ever find a cork big enough to fix it

[PhantomCatClock]

not you

[VCRClock]

-Excuse me sir, my friend didn't show up and now I need three bucks to get home.
-Aaauuuuurrruuuuuuugggghhhiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!! [mind melts]

but my favorite was just a blank cd with the guy's stage name written on it. I'm not sure if he didn't know how to burn cd's or if he just wasn't even trying to make a name for himself and was selling blank cd's for a quick buck, but I found it oddly endearing either way

holy shit that's brilliant

one of my pet fascinations is tax scam labels, which took advantage of a late 70s tax loophole by slapping together albums from any source material they had lying around, mostly not selling them, and then claiming a loss. it didn't matter what was on the albums because nobody was going to buy them anyway.

if guy was knowingly selling blank cds, he's taking advantage of a market of buyers that know there's a good chance that what they're buying will be worthless (i.e. shit music), but taking the tax scam label approach, maximizes profit by limiting his effort to making cds that look playable, yet he is protected by the unusually tolerant market. no one is going to hold him accountable for selling blank cds because a fool and his money are soon parted and they should have known better

thus, at the expense of a sharpie and some blank cds, guy gains both money and rabid fans such as influencer slurpeeclock. indeed he could be selling t-shirts too -- as long as the shirts looked cool, no buyer would have to worry about actually liking or talking about the music, and people wearing the t-shirts would only lead to further cd sales for guy, thereby spurring still more t-shirt sales. though in truth having to offer multiple sizes of t-shirt means some money would be tied up in inventory

anyway quit your job and sell blank cds

[GreyClock]

holy shit that's brilliant

one of my pet fascinations is tax scam labels, which took advantage of a late 70s tax loophole by slapping together albums from any source material they had lying around, mostly not selling them, and then claiming a loss. it didn't matter what was on the albums because nobody was going to buy them anyway.

if guy was knowingly selling blank cds, he's taking advantage of a market of buyers that know there's a good chance that what they're buying will be worthless (i.e. shit music), but taking the tax scam label approach, maximizes profit by limiting his effort to making cds that look playable, yet he is protected by the unusually tolerant market. no one is going to hold him accountable for selling blank cds because a fool and his money are soon parted and they should have known better

thus, at the expense of a sharpie and some blank cds, guy gains both money and rabid fans such as influencer slurpeeclock. indeed he could be selling t-shirts too -- as long as the shirts looked cool, no buyer would have to worry about actually liking or talking about the music, and people wearing the t-shirts would only lead to further cd sales for guy, thereby spurring still more t-shirt sales. though in truth having to offer multiple sizes of t-shirt means some money would be tied up in inventory

anyway quit your job and sell blank cds

Isn't that basically what The Producers is about, albeit with shit musicals? Granted, all my information comes from Curb Your Enthusiasm.

[Slurpee]

no one is going to hold him accountable for selling blank cds because a fool and his money are soon parted

hey

[Slurpee]

also

influencer slurpeeclock

I know you're fucking around but the whole world is that bill hicks bit about marketers securing the anti-marketer market and I want to scream