whole foods market

[FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK]

I've been pronouncing it near this whole time. a game named after an adverb or really anything that isn't a regular verb or noun is weird to talk about. With actual verbal words and shit like we did in the times of old. Nyeh-er is gonna be even weirder. I wanna make a game that's just called "The". I'll spell it weird but that's gonna be what it is. Thaghe: The Game.

[RobClock]

Checking back every five minutes for the last hour, getting error codes loading this site ruins my sleep

[PolyhedronClock]

ay yo props to vcr for fixing the website earlier

[VCRClock]

Checking back every five minutes for the last hour, getting error codes loading this site ruins my sleep

have you considered joining bb10's parallel clockcrew forum? he probably has 100% uptime

or maybe you should just... just download everything. just in case. I was trying to refer to some story I heard about some guy who compulsively downloaded everything but I found this article about a pattern of autistic men getting arrested for child porn and it's a pretty interesting read so I got distracted

ay yo props to vcr for fixing the website earlier

panel 1: checks clockcrew on phone at work to find "database broken" message
panel 2: "too bad I don't have my web hosting account password with me at all times"
panel 3: hours later, at home logs in to web hosting control panel and literally clicks "repair database" button
panel 4: nyoro~n

[PhantomCatClock]

clicks "repair database" button

we would be the lost and the lonely without you

[RobClock]

Checking back every five minutes for the last hour, getting error codes loading this site ruins my sleep

have you considered joining bb10's parallel clockcrew forum? he probably has 100% uptime

It wasn’t meant as a criticism of you, but I would sooner sepukku

or maybe you should just... just download everything. just in case. I was trying to refer to some story I heard about some guy who compulsively downloaded everything but I found this article about a pattern of autistic men getting arrested for child porn and it's a pretty interesting read so I got distracted

Let the record show I’ve never been diagnosed with a mental deficiency and the only porn I hoard is busty redheads

[PhantomCatClock]

oh yeah hey I know I used to offer better hosting so we could make REAL BACKUPS but if I get this job NEXT WEEK I will and set up automatic backups to a personal computer





also if this isn't an actual VPS and is Frantech's web hostin', I think it makes updates every day (for three days, overwrites three days ago constantly) so you can download one of them, dunno if it saves the database tho

[PhantomCatClock]

offer better hosting [...] I will

if you want it, that is. I forgot why you didn't before but I think I recall that not being the case now

[RobClock]

Edit: disregard, I eat $500 steaks

[RobClock]

[PhantomCatClock]

RobertHedron

[PhantomCatClock]

noise canceling cochlear implant

[Slurpee]

so

Old Town Road



17 weeks at no 1
I do believe that's the world record

putting aside changes to what counts as a sale since the onset of streaming services, and whether remixes should be counted along with the original song, it's insane that nobody has managed to produce a pop song that could dethrone this kid who, at the outset, couldn't even afford a real music video and just edited together footage from red dead redemption 2
(+the remix, featuring former walking punchline billy ray cyrus (previously seen pathetically trying to grasp onto the fading starlight of his status as a decades old one hit wonder by namedropping his own daughter's sexually charged single wrecking ball)

the jonas brothers reunited after breaking apart into three separate but individually enormously successful solo careers, couldn't put a dent in it
taylor swift released two comeback singles, one where she teamed up with the guy from panic at the disco, and one where she chased headlines by pandering to lgbt rights and burying the hatchet with katy perryâ€" old town road stood tall
ed sheeran teamed up with justin bieber I guess(?) you know what I'm just gonna go through these or I'll be typing all night, dj khalid, shawn mendes, post malone, chris brown, drake, ed sheeran feat. khalid, halsey, blake shelton, panic at the disco, ariana grande, katy perry, daddy yankee feat katy perry and snow(?????), cardi b, five seconds of summer, marshmello, beyonce, kenny chesney, mustard, nicki minaj, ed sheeran feat camilla cabello and cardi b, carrie underwood, and that billie eilish song that a youtube guy transitioned into we are number one and now I can't hear anything else

2017 was a weird year in pop music. everybody was so bummed out it basically destroyed the careers of effortlessly cool pop stars like pitbull and justin timberlake. nobody wanted to hear that shit. a few stragglers made it through, but it's clear the teenage dream era is long behind us
after two straight years of the downbeat it's clear that the public appetite is hungry for something different, but who would come to the rescue? gaga's out here winning academy awards and shit, so she's off the table. I'm not a fan of taylor swift (except maybe blank space, it was a jam, shut up), and her ill-advised "new taylor" thing last year thankfully fizzled out, but if anybody was going to deliver us from the dreary sludge of mumblerap, buzzing bass feedback, and lorde-esque despondent singing, surely it would have to have been somebody with her sheer force of personality, right?
neigh! america has spoken- we want two minute novelty raps about riding a horse! from, some fucking teenager

lil nas x's tweets pop up on my timeline from time to time and, honestly, the kid seems like he has a good head on his shoulders, I'm happy for him... but this is just such a profoundly weird moment in pop music
I guess only time will tell if it's the kind of novelty with staying power, like hooked on a feeling, or the kind that in a few decades just makes old top 40 listings baffling and incomprehensible to look at, like convoy

[VCRClock]

so

Old Town Road

hey remember back in the 50s or whatever radio DJs would take money from labels in exchange for airplay and it was a BIG FUCKIN DEAL and maybe the FCC said "you cant do"

isn't that basically how spotify works

[Include bracketed text for Long Form:]

in a world where commercial radio is fistfucked by a couple of big companies owning and calling the shots at any number of "local" operations, it's like not even a DJ's job to break a new record to their audience, and I'm sure they're beholden to rules and quotas for what to play and how often

so like what makes a song chart? people calling into radio stations and saying "hey I'm really wild about that new song you should play it again?" does ANYONE call into radio stations to make requests or comment about music anymore? one could argue that it stopped being necessary once technology advanced to the point where it's no longer cumbersome to carry more than one album's worth of music with us wherever we go -- let's say early 2000s -- but now that it's possible to hear almost any song in existence on demand, the only reasons to hassle a radio DJ involve motives other than wanting to hear a song.

I'm just gonna cast aside the idea of "ownership" rite quick because these days that's, like... if you're going to buy a vinyl record. only. or if you're buying music that's too weird for Spotify, in which case it's not charting anywhere anyway. FWIW "best selling" chart positions are apparently based entirely on preorders these days

ok, so we don't make music purchases anymore, we just stream it, which means that Spotify should be the source of chart data. buuut it's not as if the data is just keeping track of the songs you wanted to listen to. if you're a Spotify free user and you give Spotify an inch, it's going to play old town road 20 times before this smiths album is through. that counts as plays. That's pennies in the bank. And I mean, someone probably paid Spotify to plug it into playlists and algorithms to begin with, but as long as it keeps coming up, it's just gonna be a stronger recommendation.

fuck I should just stop posting altogether

in short: there are many short button-press routes to "old town road" on streaming services, which I'm inclined to think will interpret users' views as a basis on which to recommend "old town road" even more, until something else breaks The Algorithmâ,,¢. but, and maybe I'm just not cool, I don't know anyone who's been listening to lil nas x on repeat for the past 17 weeks

and that's a big 10-4, good buddy

[VCRClock]

once I was an adventurer like you

then I took my horse to the old town road

[ChocolateWaferClock]

On music, I think it’s about time we acknowledge the fact that fucking Panic At the Disco has been at the tippy tip top of the Rock Charts for weeks even though they’re not really rock anymore. They’ve literally become a contemporary pop outfit that is 90% Brandon Urie hitting Cs and 10% beat automation and loops. Is BillBoard really listening to this shit and saying “yep it belongs on the same chart as The Black Keys and Sum 41, I see the resemblance, don’t you?”

Also, VCR, I actually liked the paragraphs on Radio and Spotify, and after spending the past few months delivering chairs to people all across the state, I can admit that my reason for using radio anymore is rather when the guy in charge of Spotify has shit taste, or when said person forgets to bring his phone.

[GreyClock]

What are your experiences with falling asleep on the couch with a cold beer in your hand, spilling it on yourself and waking up because of it?

Specifically, the sensation. It happened to me a couple of times in the past few weeks and for some reason it's a cold (no shit), somehow hard and gross feeling on the area of the spill. I tried recreating it by pouring cold beer on my shirt just now and it just feels like cold liquid. Not hard and gross at all. I can't really explain the "hard" part any better, maybe it's like a slab of ice being pressed against the area? I also think it feels "hollow" somehow. Not in any emotional sense like "woe I passed out drunk on the couch", I mean it purely in a physical way. Then again, I'm not really sure why it would feel different while awake, if it's just physical. The surprise perhaps? Discuss...

[Slurpee]

What are your experiences with falling asleep on the couch with a cold beer in your hand, spilling it on yourself and waking up because of it?

none, but I admire the optimism of even asking about such a specific scenario

[VCRClock]

[GreyClock]

I'm gonna use that VCR!

What are your experiences with falling asleep on the couch with a cold beer in your hand, spilling it on yourself and waking up because of it?

none, but I admire the optimism of even asking about such a specific scenario

Wine cooler/jagermeister/white wine/red wine/vodka/vodka red bull/7&7... milk?

I don't know... is it really that specific?

Show of hands.