whose flood market

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that was a fancy rat
like, store-bought
it was supposed to be a wild rat but he was so clean and nice

oh the chainsaw does come back
she uses against him? why don't I remember that?

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if I find out my copy of this movie has been a butchered edit this whole time I'm going to pissed

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I don't remember ginny pissing herself either

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I hate that arby's commercials are kinda funny because they have awful goddamn food, just wretched

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liberty mutual: trying too hard

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when are inception horns going to die out, christ

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ok this chery vanilla coke commercial, the gag is, a satyr says "two things in one? i didn't know you could do that" because a satyr is a man and a goat
but is satyrs were real, they wouldn't be two things. they'd be one: satyrs. we don't say okapi are two things, or people with vitiligo

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I can't believe they got betsy palmer to come back for this. it's like 90% of why it works
and also, is like a million times better than when cory feldman does the same thing in part 4 because like why would jason think he's seeing his own younger self that's fucking r-worded

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I know it's the 70's and the doubletap hasn't been invented yet but seriously how did we accept for so many decades that if the killer who's been terrorizing you goes down for more than 5 seconds you don't make sure he's dead

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the most sane thing in any of these movies is cory feldman chopping jason's body into pieces while screaming "die!!!!!!" and they play it like he's lost his mind and it's terrifying because what if sphe's the killer now and it's like that motherfucker took a butcher knife, a pitchfork, and a hatchet without blinking are w



wait did the dog knock on the door

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ok no

the syfy channel paid shills said the dog knocked on the door, he didn't knock on the door, he made a little doggy whimper and the humans put something wood down in surprise

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oh my god this ending

this is the most surreal ending in the series
after jason bursts through the window, ginny wakes up getting carted away in the amberlamps asking where paul is, AND WE NEVER FIND OUT
IT'S NEVER EXPLAINED.
where is paul?????

then they close in on pam's severed head for the entire credits and it's clearly not a prop but a girl wearing make-up who's about to open her eyes, and then she just doesn't

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the first and third movies have jason and pam inexplicably coming back to life to attack the protagonists in a way that's almost completely ignored in every subsequent movie and they still make more sense than this

it's not even like they forgot to shoot a scene, because nothing would make it make sense. was the window thing a dream? if it was, then where is paul? if it was real, then what the hell happened between there and the ambulance and WHERE IS PAUL?

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say what you will about the saw movies, at least they made sense. even up through the 8th one
people's standards were so much lower when the friday the 13th movies were coming out. we just did not give a SHIT if the plot was even coherent

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well thanks for coming to my stream everybody

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I was serious about this btw:

hey real talk though can you guys sign this petition?
https://www.change.org/p/disney-lucasfilm-acknowledge-that-yoda-is-a-goblin

pass it around, too, please, it's important

sign the petition. do it.

[Slurpee]

ok this chery vanilla coke commercial, the gag is, a satyr says "two things in one? i didn't know you could do that" because a satyr is a man and a goat
but is satyrs were real, they wouldn't be two things. they'd be one: satyrs. we don't say okapi are two things, or people with vitiligo

also
like
shampoo and conditioner

of course you can do two things in one
what is he talking about?

it's completely unmotivated for him to even say that except for the cheap juxtaposition
just a terrible joke all around, and the satyr wasn't hot at all. 0/10

[PhantomCatClock]

that still only counts as one slurpeepost, legolas

[PhantomCatClock]

#boycottTimHortons is trending on Twitter



do you still stand by your reviews you

you BOOMER

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the canadian donut place?