whose flood market

[DiscoBallClock]

Also, maybe you guys weren't right for each other, even though none of you are at fault. One day there's chemistry and then there's not. But I understand that it may dissappoint you; when things are kinda "brewing" for a while and then it kinda evolves to a big load of nothing it can be a bit frustrating

Well, in this particular case, I feel the whole situation we're in is a massive contributing factor. We're barely communicating, I wonder what it would be like to see each other in person. (Not to be overly melodramatic, but the way she turned and looked at me the last time we saw each other will forever be etched on my mind. (Fart.)) Although I doubt it's gonna happen anytime soon, we'll see. It's hard to mitigate those feelings though when they flare up with every little interaction. I'm like a nomad lost in a desert staggering from oasis to oasis. \/ continues below, sorta \/

Yeah, I can relate to a lot of those feelings. I don't think you should blame yourself for feeling those things and for overanalyzing it - hell, I do that all the time too. I suppose it also depends on your background, how long it has been since you've been with someone, how were those past relationships, and so on. For me, I've always been rather prone to go on wild imagination rides whenever I'm interested in someone, so if it doesn't happen I get kinda sad too. And I overanalyze it because I'm invested, so I pay a lot of attention to detail. My way of feeling safe is for there to be some predictability, so I look at all the signs in order to find out what I should expect. I think I got rid of these traits with age, but my love life is in a weird, lifeless bog, so

Also, no one tells you that after college it's much harder to meet women. What is this shit. How am I supposed to "get out there", I don't know how to do that (I'm not blaming women for that, it is, as Grey said, part of my own shortcomings)

That first part is what I thought after reading my first post. If this is the way I feel and apparently deal with stuff like this, just go with it. Accept it as a part of my personality, rather than try and fight it somehow. I don't know, it's complicated stuff. Can you change your emotions? Can you change your (emotional) reaction to the first emotions? Probably not outside of like intensive behavioral therapy or something. Maybe it's just part of being a person, you just deal with it and move on. Out of one person polled... right? We're both the analytical, academic type. I (happily) analyze everything, maybe this is the price? Who knows.

Overall I'd say I'm pretty content with myself, maybe this can be the part I'm not so happy about? Like how I imagine like jugglers or people who wear diapers as a fetish feel about their hobbies.

(i'm too lazy to tidy up the quotes sorry Grey)

Yeah, I can imagine that the lack of possibility for personal interaction may be rough. I don't know if that's the case for you, but while I'm not a horrible texter, I found that I can't really "make it happen" without some degree of personal interaction. I dunno how realistic that is for you, but maybe that could help things.
Also, I noticed that you were very touched (lol) by her compliments, or by the way she looks at you. Have you shown signs of your affection? I feel that a significant part of dudes don't go very far (not saying that's your case) because they won't hint at the fact that they are, in fact, interested. I obviously don't know what you did or said, but you know, gotta make it known that you're interested.


Also I agree, we're similarly wired in that regard. For me it's the fact that when my analytical mind meets a situation that interests me, it becomes nearly obssessive, I'll pore over every single detail in my mind. I dunno about you, but in my teens that shit was hard as fuck to deal with. It was borderline obssessive, mental torture and shit. I found that as you gain more experience things become slightly clearer, so there are less grey (heheh) areas, which is what makes me overanalyze. That and learning to kinda get that under control, but the jury's still out on how that's properly done. I don't like numbing myself either, so

[DiscoBallClock]

And yeah, about the pickiness...I suppose that's a thing over here too, but I assume that it's because I've been around the block a few times and I'm less prone to fill in the gaps in my imagination in what pertains to the other person

Huh? Explain.

Also, maybe you guys weren't right for each other, even though none of you are at fault. One day there's chemistry and then there's not. But I understand that it may dissappoint you; when things are kinda "brewing" for a while and then it kinda evolves to a big load of nothing it can be a bit frustrating

Yeah, maybe it's (partly) the phase I was in, that initial crush. Normally you'd feel each other out more, ideally while seeing each other in person, that kinda got cut short. So I sorta feel like I'm in limbo.

I remember this one girl in college. I had no idea who she was, we just happened to see each other around campus maybe once every month or so. Neither of us ever said anything, we just looked at each other, maybe smiled nervously. In those moments I always felt completely stunned, I mean if I was walking I'd keep walking, it's just that I felt like a spectator. Afterwards I'd feel like shit for a while, then the feelings would fade again and rinse and repeat. This went on for quite some time until one day she just seemed gone. Never saw her again.

Explaining: I guess I did that above. I don't get very excited over someone very easily, so I end up being what feels picky. That and the fact that since I've gained the aforementioned experience, it's harder for me to lose my shit so easily

Oh yeah, the "I think you're very cute and I vaguely know who you might be but I've never talked to you once so we'll just exchange looks from afar" is a classic for me too. I've recently toyed with the idea of actually acting on it, but I don't wanna come off as weird or anything

[DiscoBallClock]

Now that we're on the topic, some venting of my own:
As I've said above, my love life is kinda weird right now. My last relationship ended a bit over a year ago, and ever since things have been weird. Yeah, corona doesn't help, but it's more than that. I've been interested in certain women, but it never went anywhere, and I've had women interested in me, but I haven't really felt enthusiastic towards them. Sometimes I think I'm too jaded? As in, "yeah, I've seen this before, not gonna get emotionally invested", or "eh, not really feeling it so whatever". This kinda scares me, I sometimes miss feeling "head over heels" for someone (barf).
Then I'm like "hmmm but i've been interested in someone", but then I notice how there's been a pattern of "texts, flirtier texts, i jump the gun, it's gone", and I don't really know what to do about that.
On the other hand, one day I was like "you know what stop being a baby and go on a damn date with one of the women who are interested". I did, and...long story short, the next morning a repeat was out of my mind.

So yeah. What do?

[RobClock]

Damn you guys really got into the swing of it while I was sleeping. I'll attempt to articulate something that contributes meaningfully to this when I get a real opportunity to focus

[RobClock]

The last time the subject came up I believe I spoke at length about my complete infatuation with this one girl who ultimately didn't reciprocate but was keen to allow me to be in love with her and express it without returning the favour to keep me around for some god forsaken reason. Just from that description you could gather that with the benefit of times separation my retrospective view of the entire affair has cooled to a point of no emotional investment- I've had a lot of practice with compartmentalization and suppression over the years, due in no short order to this one woman and the years of my life I wasted on her.

It's a funny thing being alone for a very long time and existing with your emotions so unstirred and swallowed because when they come to the surface (speaking to my own case, I don't know how true it is generally) they tend to be a lot more raw because you haven't got a great deal of experience in working with them beyond stuffing them into a pit at the bottom of your gut and ignoring them wholesale. When I was dealing with that one girl, I was either flying at 30,000 feet, happier than I've ever known happiness, or a complete wreck, shuffling through my day hoping I'd just die in my sleep. Obviously, not a healthy dynamic, and with the benefit of hindsight, an entirely self inflicted exercise, making myself a plaything for a manipulative and self serving individual. Not bitter at all, why do you ask?

In relation to flutters of desire for those encountered in passing or in casual encounters; I've never found it difficult to simply bite the bullet and ask her out- I've long since acclimatized to getting shot down. The flush of embarrassment passes quickly, and it's better to have that conclusion rather than having it play on your mind as a regret for the chance you may have had. I can only say the adage of 'don't shit at work' is, though hard to abide by, ultimately correct. I've had coworkers who hate my guts because we were intimate and it didn't work out, and people I work around who shot me down and are awkward thereafter.

I've been talking to someone now for a little over a month. I've known her since high school and there's a bit of baggage in tow, but from the onset I made it clear that I was seeking a relationship and she's been on board for it- with the caveat of taking it slow, not wanting to jump head first into something having just gotten her feet back under her in the last year, which is entirely fair. The problem is that I work graveyard shifts, and she works mornings like a normal human being, so in the last month and change we've been on one date. Which was lovely, don't get me wrong, but it is frustrating to basically be in a long distance thing with someone who lives 20 minutes away. I do like her a lot- she's gorgeous, well read and articulate, and a brilliant creative writer. I want it to work, but the fact that we never seem to have the time for one another does make me anxious.

I'm now going to re read the last page and see if this was relevant in any way and actually respond to posts instead of talking about myself

[RobClock]

Okay yeah, I think that addressed some points- the anxiety riddled depressive bouts aren't fun. At all. I wish I could offer some advice on how to deal with them but the best I can do is tell you not to drink when you're feeling like that. I have, and it's done nothing but made me a pissy sour drunk for a night, and thrown me into depression for weeks at a time. The only thing that helps is the distance of time and clearing it from your mind.

If you like a girl, ask her to coffee or something. If she says no, take it in stride, smile through it, remain pleasant, and then deal with the self loathing once you've gotten away from her. You'll always regret what you didn't do more than what you did.

Meeting women has gone from a difficult task to a fucking impossibility in the last year, I have nothing to offer to that point other than to say dating sites are fucking horrible and dating apps are basically slot machines.

[RobClock]

[u2]q1LSq3kheCc[/u2]

[JambaClock]

https://twitter.com/ladygaga/status/1334151147343421440?s=21

...ok

[Slurpee]

https://twitter.com/ladygaga/status/1334151147343421440?s=21

...ok

[GreyClock]

Yeah, I can imagine that the lack of possibility for personal interaction may be rough. I don't know if that's the case for you, but while I'm not a horrible texter, I found that I can't really "make it happen" without some degree of personal interaction. I dunno how realistic that is for you, but maybe that could help things.
Also, I noticed that you were very touched (lol) by her compliments, or by the way she looks at you. Have you shown signs of your affection? I feel that a significant part of dudes don't go very far (not saying that's your case) because they won't hint at the fact that they are, in fact, interested. I obviously don't know what you did or said, but you know, gotta make it known that you're interested.

Well, I said THANKS didn't I? Yeah, no. Though a lot of that is circumstance too. It would be easier in person, I'm a horrible texter. I can't drop this perpetual snark. So I doubt I come across as very warm. Like I said, it was very early stages, and maybe (and perhaps understandably) it fizzled out.

That cheesy thing they do in movies, where the screen freezes and gets kinda blurry, or maybe there's some stars and harp music and shit. A look like that. We had some playful banter after that. That was my last day at the office though, so yeah... I think that's what's kinda fucking me up here.

Also I agree, we're similarly wired in that regard. For me it's the fact that when my analytical mind meets a situation that interests me, it becomes nearly obssessive, I'll pore over every single detail in my mind. I dunno about you, but in my teens that shit was hard as fuck to deal with. It was borderline obssessive, mental torture and shit. I found that as you gain more experience things become slightly clearer, so there are less grey (heheh) areas, which is what makes me overanalyze. That and learning to kinda get that under control, but the jury's still out on how that's properly done. I don't like numbing myself either, so

Obsession is compulsion, right. Never went that far for me, I can mostly focus and/or shift it at will. Not sure how that works, although those 'powers' seem to diminish when I'm down. Another exception is when I lay awake at night, going over the same thing again and again. But that can be about anything really, from ideas for jokes, to playing out hypothetical scenarios, to I don't know, dog food. I've found that writing it down helps a lot (or posting it). Not sure if that's helpful.

Now that we're on the topic, some venting of my own:
As I've said above, my love life is kinda weird right now. My last relationship ended a bit over a year ago, and ever since things have been weird. Yeah, corona doesn't help, but it's more than that. I've been interested in certain women, but it never went anywhere, and I've had women interested in me, but I haven't really felt enthusiastic towards them. Sometimes I think I'm too jaded? As in, "yeah, I've seen this before, not gonna get emotionally invested", or "eh, not really feeling it so whatever". This kinda scares me, I sometimes miss feeling "head over heels" for someone (barf).
Then I'm like "hmmm but i've been interested in someone", but then I notice how there's been a pattern of "texts, flirtier texts, i jump the gun, it's gone", and I don't really know what to do about that.
On the other hand, one day I was like "you know what stop being a baby and go on a damn date with one of the women who are interested". I did, and...long story short, the next morning a repeat was out of my mind.

So yeah. What do?

Yeah, I think that just comes with growing older? Also, you perhaps get a clearer picture of what it is you're looking for? (I hate to apply it to myself each time, but it's the only frame of reference I got:) When you're younger, you basically take a shit every time someone likes you, regardless of who it is. Now, while it's flattering, if I'm not interested myself, it's just whatever or "meh". So yeah, pretty jaded. (I'm kinda talking out of my ass here, but I think there might be something to that?) Also, this situation I'm in now, it's been years since I felt anything like this. So it's no guarantee it won't ever happen again. (Coupled with what I said above:) It's like this weird extended crush.


I wrote this before, but didn't get to press post. No time to read yours now Rob.

[pop-tart]

I wanna be Gary Coleman Clock so my catchphrase can be, 'whatchu tockin' about?'

[RobClock]

Narcissistic content warning:


Had a bit of a depressive spell last night

[JambaClock]

it was no artery-clogging, addictive, requiem for a dream referencing sandwich, but it was delish

[GreyClock]

Good luck with your lady, Rob.

I was gonna ask if you have any desire to stop smoking. I'm not suddenly turned and trying to convert you or anything. I'm just looking for a test subject for my new patented GreyClock Easy-Quit Super System™ we stand to make MILLIONS, MILLIONS I TELL YA

I hardly have any cravings, I'm not really cranky or depressed. And it was like that from the get-go, not that it's only just now started to subside or something. Compared to my first attempt three weeks ago, it's like night and day. I also got drunk last weekend and it was fine, though the cravings did seem more intense then, sure.

But if you're feeling depressed maybe it's not the best idea to add to that right now.



If you or anyone else are/is interested:
1. Quit cold turkey. Leave tobacco in the house though and actively fight smoking it.
2. Start smoking again after the anger and annoyance turns into depression and despair. (Took one week for me.)
3. Smoke your regular brand, again for about a week.
4. On the last day, get drunk and smoke, to the point of gagging, a brand you dislike (and which is stronger if possible).
5. Wake up feeling like shit. Ritualistically destroy whatever is left of the pack.
6. Quit cold turkey for real.
7. Maybe bite on a small pencil when the urge does kick in.
8. Profit!


Now addiction is something so deeply personal I actually very much doubt this works for anyone else, maybe I just happened to be in a better place emotionally? Maybe not having tobacco in the house really helps with process? (In fact, I'll go out to buy some and test it out. Wink.) Maybe all or none of the above. Who is to say.

WOULDN'T IT BE FUNNY THOUGH

[GreyClock]

BEFORE I FORGET: THERE MIGHT BE A LOT OF FARTING

[PhantomCatClock]

rob that is a good drawing of cartoon tom petty from the running down a dream music video {{{}}}

[Slurpee]

punchlines to offensive jokes:

- blender
- nachos!
- friday's your turn in the barrel
- he fell out of a guard tower
- this duck doesn't have AIDS
- you're not really coming here for the hunting, are you?
- 49 other bells ring
- once upon a time
- the wheelchair
- there's 20 of them
- look, mister, I've got to be honest with you, I'm not really a welder

[PhantomCatClock]

this is good work

[RobClock]

You think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?

[PhantomCatClock]

but you can't tuna fish