marvel's biggest bone-liner

[VCRClock]

should have watched this trailer at exactly 4 : 20 pm but i wouldve been at work

[VCRClock]

can't wait for the trailer part two where it searches my browser history for porn

[Slurpee]

[u2]AC__o1UxDl8[/u2]

[Slurpee]

I'm reading about medieval clothing, and, their entire pants situation is just fucking fugazi

(modern reproduction)

where do I even start with this?

okay, for one, the white bit at his crotch, those are his underpants. they're called "braies" and they were made of linen, which, honestly sounds kinda nice, but, putting that aside
for some reason they were baggy, like, 3/4-length shorts for like the entire 14th century, before anybody thought to make them... NOT baggy and really long for no reason? so the legs are like bunched up under the chausses, which, ok, let's address the fucking chausses
what's going on here? what are we looking at? why is this three garments? WHY WOULD YOU NOT JUST MAKE IT ONE PANTS


so this is what they had instead of pants, basically, it was these or "hose" (which were pretty much just tights, and chausses are like the armor version of that),
they go, up the entire leg, and have feeties sewn into them, and they are single-leg garments, and, the top of them ties into holes at the waist, like a garter belt. they don't themselves go around the waist at all, they just, cover the whole foot, and go up the leg... are you following? I am describing SOCKS. the coward historians will not admit that that's what they are, but, instead of pants, they wore, fuckin thigh high socks, on top of their baggy knee-length underwear, which, if you were wearing a tunic or a cotehardie or a doublet, that would modtly cover it up, but also and otherwise it was pretty much fine to just have your drawers hanging out all day

it's literally this achewood strip


later on some brain genius would invent non-split or "double leg" hose,
but... they HAD TROUSERS
I DON'T UNDERSTAND


TWO CENTURIES EARLIER (reproduction)
WHATTAYA DOIN

WHY DID THEY UN-INVENT PANTS? I AM SO CONFUSED

but also, braies got shorter over time, and by the end of the 15th century the italians (of COURSE) basically reduced them to the length of modern briefs
this reproduction actually feels kinda scandalous to look at so I'll link it


okay, so, linen usually crumbles to dust long before any garments made of it would make it to modern times, right? a lot of what we know of medieval clothing is actually derived not from the garments themselves, but from contemporary paintings, letters, etc.
but then, a few years ago
in a CASTLE
they found a SECRET COMPARTMENT
and this secret compartment contained an unusually well preserved...







*drumroll*






... string bikini


?????

historians are currently divided over who exactly this garment was intended for,
because, it was found with what is believed to be the earliest known brassiere, which, if they went together would make sense, but also would be the only known evidence that western women even wore underpants prior to the late 18th century
conversely, there is at least one possible depiction of the garment in contemporary paintings, a landscape by Sebastien Vrancx, and

yeah that's a dude hahaha


that rules. that is fucking awesome. what the hell? hahahaha

[Slurpee]

[u2]0ewZvxN4GbY[/u2]

[PhantomCatClock]

thanks slurp

[RobClock]

This is a good page

I almost bought a book about Richard the Lionheart this evening but I spent $80 on supper so I didn't buy it

[Slurpee]

thanks slurp

[Slurpee]

I spent $80 on supper

deets

[PhantomCatClock]

speaking of, i was gonna buy a immortal pen but learned it was $140 and it wasn't even fine (it was medium) and i only write in fine

[VCRClock]

upwards of 10 "you're welcome" pictures on the internet and you pick the one with the soul patch

[Slurpee]

upwards of 10 "you're welcome" pictures on the internet and you pick the one with the soul patch

I was going to say "I'm a huge Mark McGrath fan" but I googled it and he doesn't have a soul patch

what the fuck

how does the guy from Sugar Ray not have a soul patch? if he doesn't who the hell does?

[Slurpee]

mandela effect

everything you thought you knew about these famous douchebags is wrong

[PhantomCatClock]

does he have a flavor saver

google again and check for a flavor saver

[Slurpee]

he doesn't

I'm freaking out

[RobClock]

I spent $80 on supper

deets

I got a calzone with endless garlic bread (we shared three loafs), a garden salad and two pints of Island Time lager

She got a rosé pasta dish, Italian wedding soup, and a sangria.

The waitress was very nice and checked in on us very frequently so I tipped $20

The calzone was well seasoned and contained pepperoni, cheese, mushrooms and bacon. I was thoroughly satisfied.

[Slurpee]

nice.

[Slurpee]

oh we're on a new page

[Slurpee]

I got a calzone with endless garlic bread (we shared three loafs), a garden salad and two pints of Island Time lager

She got a rosé pasta dish, Italian wedding soup, and a sangria.

The waitress was very nice and checked in on us very frequently so I tipped $20

The calzone was well seasoned and contained pepperoni, cheese, mushrooms and bacon. I was thoroughly satisfied.

nice.

[PhantomCatClock]

slurpeepage: 1