marvel's biggest bone-liner

[VCRClock]

TECH CORNER:

ANDROID 12 BLOWS
MY CLOCKS ARE UGLY
MY EVERYDAY OBSESSIVE WORKFLOW, WHICH INVOLVED LAUNCHING SUGGESTED APPS FROM THE SWIPE UP SCREEN, IS DISRUPTED
MY LIFE IS RUINED

Sent from my Pixel

[PhantomCatClock]

my unlock is spelling a long word and now the unlock numpad just shows the numbers and not the letters so fuck

[Slurpee]

MY CLOCKS ARE UGLY

[PhantomCatClock]

I heard two more people complain about the lock screen clock, this morning


I didn't even know one of them was on android

[PhantomCatClock]

for my second wish, send Slurpee to an alternate dimension where everybody. including slurpee, pronounces "film" as if it had a single syllable

[Slurpee]

a british guy I occasionally watch on youtube pronounces it "fil-lem" but I can't remember who it is. maybe because your wish worked?

[PhantomCatClock]

it's too late to be thinking like that

[VCRClock]

android 12 corner:

when you scroll to the bottom of something and can't scroll further, instead of showing like "a shape" or animating a little extra whitespace you can't actually scroll down to, Android 12 actually stretches the whitespace between lines of text, as if the email you're reading is some sort of stretchy Nerds Rope that the email's body text is just attached to

this is a global ui thing that applies to scrolling in any app. non-gmail email app? yep. non-chrome web browser? yep. my banking app? why the hell not!

[PannacottaClock]

android 12 corner:

when you scroll to the bottom of something and can't scroll further, instead of showing like "a shape" or animating a little extra whitespace you can't actually scroll down to, Android 12 actually stretches the whitespace between lines of text, as if the email you're reading is some sort of stretchy Nerds Rope that the email's body text is just attached to

this is a global ui thing that applies to scrolling in any app. non-gmail email app? yep. non-chrome web browser? yep. my banking app? why the hell not!

This doesn't sound bad to me i know they talk shit about that anrdoid 12 but this kind of wacky... we need it right now and I don't mean right now as in this situation that the world is in, I mean right at this second

[PhantomCatClock]

you can also swallow it

[Slurpee]

android 12 corner:

when you scroll to the bottom of something and can't scroll further, instead of showing like "a shape" or animating a little extra whitespace you can't actually scroll down to, Android 12 actually stretches the whitespace between lines of text, as if the email you're reading is some sort of stretchy Nerds Rope that the email's body text is just attached to

this is a global ui thing that applies to scrolling in any app. non-gmail email app? yep. non-chrome web browser? yep. my banking app? why the hell not!

lol

[PhantomCatClock]

Is it really just the whitespace? That's so convincing I honestly thought it was stretching everything out, even images

[VCRClock]

Is it really just the whitespace? That's so convincing I honestly thought it was stretching everything out, even images

it does this too but i didn't know how to describe it! it'll "stretch out images" like parallax style, probably, if you're scrolling through something like an instagram grid

[VCRClock]

also i had a coffee at 7 pm 🦶🔫

[RobClock]

Howdy all, pardon my recent absenteeism and doubly pardon my inference that anyone would notice or care. I've been checking in fairly regularly but haven't had much to say that felt worthy of sharing. That hasn't changed I just miss you guys and hope I get my mojo back sooner rather than later

[pop-tart]

I noticed and cared.

[RobClock]

 

[Slurpee]

Howdy all, pardon my recent absenteeism and doubly pardon my inference that anyone would notice or care. I've been checking in fairly regularly but haven't had much to say that felt worthy of sharing. That hasn't changed I just miss you guys and hope I get my mojo back sooner rather than later

{{{{}}}}

[Slurpee]

found this in my notes app

apparently I wrote it while very sleepy, and it seemed important at the time
I don't remember being bothered by this, but now that my past self mentions it, yes, I have no idea what he says there
I always heard it as "ali, I'll grab my stuff," and had no idea why he was calling benny "ali"

couldn't find the scene on youtube (which makes sense, it is not significant)
don't have a vcr handy for the vhs tape
didn't feel like pirating it

so I googled sandlot script and found a transcript on drew's script-o-rama (which I can't believe still exists, good for you, drew)

Heroes get remembered,

                but legends never die.

                Follow your heart, kid, and you'll never go wrong.

                [ Knocking On Window ]

                [ Knocking On Window ]

                I had a dream. Get dressed. We're going to the sandlot.

                Okay. Wait. I'll get my stuff.

                [Scotty Narrating] Only one kid in history had ever attempted...

                what Benny was about to,

hm... no, I don't believe you. there's an entire syllable missing, I can hear it in my head, I watched that movie a thousand times. at the very least the punctuation is misleading

so I clicked another link
apparently internet movie script database secured a copy of the screenplay, from... somewhere? under what was presumably the original title "the sandlot kids"
there can be no better source for what he's saying than what the line was as written, surely

infuriatingly, the line was not in this version of the script at all

???

now I'm pondering why on earth they would add an extra line to this scene where smalls shouts indistinctly
seems like the pacing would be fine without it?

while searching, I learned it's streaming in disney+, which for some reason I find absolutely galling
but I went ahead and watched it anyway (it's at about 1:17:44 for those who want to check it out themselves)
three times
still not clear
the subtitles agree with drew's script-o-rama, but upon closer inspection drew's "transcript" seems to just be a transliteration of the subtitles and wasn't actually read too closely before dumping (hence the repetition of "knocking on window", which appears in the subtitles twice because the sound effect overlaps the scene transition)
and subtitles are just written by, like, some dude, who doesn't necessarily know better than anybody else does what's actually being said. e.g. the subtitles on pretty much every season of aqua teen hunger force get the "dancing is forbidden" sample from the credits song wrong in different ways. and I still don't know if the lyrics to the community theme song are "give me some more, time in a dream" or "give me some rope, time in a tree"

I digress
going to begrudgingly accept that it's something like "uh wait, I'll grab my stuff" and go to bed GRUMPY AND DISSATISFIED

side note: as an adult, I now appreciate the little gag of babe ruth asking to take benny's hank aaron card. "henry aaron... I dunno why, but can I have this, kid?" sandlot takes place in the early 60's, aaron would go on to break babe ruth's homerun record some twelve years later, implying benny's dream was in some way prophetic. cute

[PhantomCatClock]

you're prophetic