gary brolsma tank n spank

[PhantomCatClock]

boss makes a dollar, i make eighty-five cents, but boss accrues eight hours of vacation time per week so i shit on navy time

[Slurpee]

every morning I wake up and I can tell I have to shit but nothing will actually come out until I've had something to drink. I'll have some tea or some milk or some oj or some water with breakfast and then my body goes "oh, we've entered 'ready to shit IMMEDIATELY mode'" and I have to go take a shit halfway through breakfast

I'm not sure when this started but it's incredibly consistent. might be because the air has been so dry lately? does being dehydrated make you not poo? I generally have seriously about 16-32 fl oz. of sleepytime tea before bed, where is all that tea going

[PhantomCatClock]

start drinking coffee every morning




























it won't change anything you said tho

[Slurpee]

my shrink said to try to avoid habitually drinking coffee

I can't remember why

but I kinda treat it like I treat beer now, it's a sometimes drink

[PhantomCatClock]

ask your so-called "shrink" if he's ever heard of an "unhealthy coping mechanism" and to get off my back ok OK

[RobClock]

I also treat coffee like beer




I'm an alcoholic

[RobClock]

Female Duke Nukem is getting a sequel
https://youtu.be/c7Gwc1P4CkU

[FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK]

So I decide to play this old SNES game called Magical Pop'n cause it looks cute fun and short and wouldn't you know it I'm the first enemy I see.

[FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK]

the trick with coffee is to buy a bunch of caffeine powder stir it in have twelve cups and stay up for three days

[Slurpee]

So I decide to play this old SNES game called Magical Pop'n cause it looks cute fun and short and wouldn't you know it I'm the first enemy I see.

flounderman is an image that arose without explanation across diverse cultures with no apparent connection to each other and no contemporary sources explaining its meaning, like the three hares
(or the image of cthulhu in call of cthulhu)

[miracle fruit]

every morning I wake up and I can tell I have to shit but nothing will actually come out until I've had something to drink. I'll have some tea or some milk or some oj or some water with breakfast and then my body goes "oh, we've entered 'ready to shit IMMEDIATELY mode'" and I have to go take a shit halfway through breakfast

I'm not sure when this started but it's incredibly consistent. might be because the air has been so dry lately? does being dehydrated make you not poo? I generally have seriously about 16-32 fl oz. of sleepytime tea before bed, where is all that tea going

you have IBS

[Slurpee]

[PhantomCatClock]

ok look kennedy cartoons got fired by warner brothers for constantly going off model (outside of expressions) and the death threats to one male exec

we still don't know who killed glen kennedy

the theme song to a pup named scooby doo, the line "Daphne, Freddy, and Velma too!" sounds strange. Almost like he's saying Elle m'a tue, French for "she's killed me"

where I'm going with this is rueger is innocent and kennedy knew the identity of his killer years before it happened——and she's a woman

[VCRClock]

uh, no dude? it's clearly Red Herring

[Slurpee]

wasn't it lee harvey oswald?

[Slurpee]

dumb. dumb joke. didn't bring my best self to that one

[Slurpee]

I always heard the line "when the ghosts and ghouls attack" as "when the ghosts say gootajack"

[Slurpee]

what was that video game that sucked but for whatever reason they hired a semi-respectable gruff older celebrity to voice the main guy and had him record like a thousand lines where he angrily cusses somebody out and I guess they realized it was pretty much all they had going for them so they just play them every time you kill somebody so through the whole game you're just hearing ron pearlman or nick nolte or whoever going "fucking suck my fucking shit you goddamn pansies! eat a god damn fistful of my fucking shit right down your throat! take a fucking lead one right between your cockeyes you namby pamby little shits! suck my nuts, suck my big fat hairy sweaty fucking bawwwwwwwls! wrap your fuckin mouth around them and suck you fucking scumfucking shitstain bastard fucks!"

did I dream that?
I'm trying to google it but I can't remember the celebrity and it had the most generic forgettable title ever. it was like Warriors of War: Fortune Blood Soldier or Soldier of... uh Brutal Soldier. Modern Brute... Modern Mercenary. Brutal Mercenary. Lone War... Warrior. Lone... Wild War... Dog. War Dog, Battle, Modern One... One Man Warrior Army Man. Dog. One Man Dog. Wolf. One Man War Wolf Dog. Radical... Rogue Rebel. Rebel Dogs. Rebel Wolf. Watch? War Watch? Warrior... Wolf War

[Slurpee]

update:it was Rogue Warrior and Mickey Rourke

[Slurpee]