marvel's biggest bone-liner

[Slurpee]

can't stop winning 'cause I never started
then I took a shit when I shoulda farted
*starts crying*
*crawls out of the rap battle pn bloody stumps*

[JooceClock]

How is Jimmy Carter still alive? Does he have a backup supply of Australium? Like genuinely, how the hell is a crinkly old potato chip like him not dead!

[RobClock]

Hey Phantomcat, I was reading the Warcraft wiki yesterday on account of the new expansion being out and come to discover that Magni Bronzebeard is alive again like as actual flesh and bone. Made some sort of reconciliation with his daughter as well. So answer me this; how is the council of three hammers still in place when the actual king is alive? The council is a regency for the heir apparent but there's no reason for Dagran II to take the throne when his Grandfather could sit, barring Magni's abdication?

Honestly the whole situation should reignite a Dwarven civil war at worst and at best see Magni in the uncomfortable position of ruling over the dark irons whose leader he had killed.

Will Blizzard make anything interesting with the massive implications of this development or didn't kurdran die in day of the dragon?

Also Dagran II's teenage model looks fucking ridiculous what a dork

[PhantomCatClock]

the dwarf story has not only not changed since the intro monologue from vanilla when you make a dwarf character, it's become the main story of wow

haven't played the new expac though, and did not pay attention since Battle for Azeroth, sorry

[RobClock]

the dwarf story has not only not changed since the intro monologue from vanilla when you make a dwarf character, it's become the main story of wow

haven't played the new expac though, and did not pay attention since Battle for Azeroth, sorry

i beg your pardon sir but the dwarf story changed in cataclysm, with a new shittier new character monologue. good on you quitting black tar heroine, i just assumed you were still on the stuff.

and since i mentioned Catalysm, did Blizzard completely misunderstand that Cataclysm was the point where classic servers took off in such abundance? Is there one person alive who was asking for "Cataclysm Classic"? Oh yes please, let us relive the days when our goodwill towards your company entered the Intensive Care Unit.

[RobClock]

I propose we make a film trilogy; the first part could be called "The brotherhood of the bracelet", the second "A Couple of Towers" and the final installment "HEY! THE KING'S BACK!"

[Slurpee]

me: I have classes only on mpndays and wednesdays

the sun:
monday 95° :angrymario3sun:
tuesday 82° :coolsunwearingsunglasses:
wednesday 99° :angrymario3sungivingmiddlefinger:

[Slurpee]

wtf what happened to all the sun smilies. vcr! vcr get in here!!!! somebody stoel the sun smilies!!!! :despondentsun:

[VCRClock]

huff, puff

hey sorry i'm late i always try to deal with site issues in a timely fashion

turned the old smiley drawer upside down could not find the mario 3 sun emotional matrix all i could find was and

[Slurpee]

huff, puff

hey sorry i'm late i always try to deal with site issues in a timely fashion

turned the old smiley drawer upside down could not find the mario 3 sun emotional matrix all i could find was and

[RobClock]

 

[VCRClock]

without warning, it suddenly occurs to me that in the set of possible elections/popularity contests where the candidates are me and a dog in sunglasses, I would probably lose most of them to the dog in sunglasses

to be fair I think this is true for most people

[PhantomCatClock]

teams has a cat-wearing-sunglasses emoji so i'd probably win

[Slurpee]

God doesn't tell anyone this but He actually gives a few of His hardest battles to His weakest soldiers and just lets them probably lose because He likes his strongest soldiers better and wants them to have a good time

[Slurpee]

xi jinping doesn't even look that much like winnie the pooh it's just funny that it makes him that mad

[Slurpee]

laughing thinking about two cowboys in a western going to showdown with each other at high noon and you hear the sounds of heel spurs clicking as they walk but then the camera shows they're not wearing boots with spurs and the camera pans up and they're both pantsless and wearing chastity cages

[PhantomCatClock]

you aim better with a fully loaded nut

[Slurpee]

two cowboys going to showdown at high noon but they're doing the naruto run

[PhantomCatClock]

legend has it that on the thirteenth full moon of their twenty-first birthday, witches get super fucked up on peppermint schnapps

[Slurpee]

my mom said ripping a bong filled with peppermint schnapps feels insane because the smoke feels all cool and pepperminty. thank you mom