is he dead yet

[Losperman]

And then I scrolled back up and stared at Guillotine's sig for another hour.

[Losperman]

One time I went swimming at this lake up in Wisconsin and got some kind of bacterial infection in my anus that made my asshole itch for like a month.

True story.

[Losperman]

If you don't wash your hand after you masturbate, and then you eat a sandwhich and, in doing so, consume some of your own penis skin, does that mean that you're OK with giving yourself head? And, if so, does that make you gay?

I'm asking for a friend.

[Losperman]

You know, every time I've gone to Wendy's in the last two weeks their Frostee machine is broken. Fix it, you fucking hamburger flipping fuckfaces. I don't go to your little restaurant to get burgers and fries, I go there for your god damn Frostees. It would be like Burger King being like "Sorry, we're out of meat" or McDonald's being like "Sorry, we're out of money." Assholes. They better have it up and running when I go to today or I will actually cancel my order this time instead of taking the food and leaving. On top of that I will write my congressman. I know he won't be happy about this either.

[Losperman]

So...

[Losperman]

Hey it's almost time to go.

[Losperman]

Oh shit.

[Losperman]

Aw snap.

[Losperman]

Oh fuckies.

Lobster Man settles drug charge

By CONOR BERRY
STAFF WRITER
ORLEANS - Stripped of his lobster costume, Mark T. Ceria said he felt like Superman without his cape in Orleans District Court yesterday.


Mark T. Ceria, aka Lobster Man, dressed in his lobster suit before his court appearance in Orleans District Court. He removed the costume at the urging of his lawyer before he went before the court judge.
(Times photo by MATT SUESS)

"They got the costume off me, and I think that was it," he said, looking dejected in a courthouse corridor.

Despite earlier vows to ask the judge to return marijuana confiscated during an arrest last fall, and promises to use his court appearance as a pulpit to promote his pro-pot message, Ceria instead copped a plea.

After some back and forth between his court-appointed lawyer, Edward Curtis, and prosecutors, Ceria signed a plea agreement, admitting to "sufficient facts" in the case.

He was ordered to pay a $50 fine, and if he keeps his nose clean, the case will be dismissed after six months.

Provincetown police found about an ounce of marijuana on Ceria when they arrested the street performer - dressed as Lobster Man - Sept. 23 on a warrant issued by an off-Cape court.

As soon as Curtis saw Ceria in his lobster costume yesterday, the attorney told him to remove it or risk invoking the judge's wrath. Ceria said Curtis told him he could be thrown in jail if he wore the outfit in the courtroom.

At that, Ceria went to his car, shed his shell, and came back minutes later dressed in civilian clothes. He had worn the lobster costume - minus the headpiece and antenna - to his district court appearance in October, at which time he requested a jury trial. That led to yesterday's pretrial hearing.

After realizing his record - Ceria has multiple marijuana arrests and a past conviction for possession of a pound of pot - could influence a jury and possibly get him six months in jail, Ceria agreed to the plea.

"I smoke an ounce a week, easily," said the unrepentant 50-year-old, who began smoking pot as a teenager in Holyoke. "It takes me about four months to smoke a pound."

Ceria said he uses marijuana to treat depression and other ailments.

He is due in Gardner District Court Jan. 16 for allegedly failing to return a rental car. When Provincetown police arrested him on that warrant in September, they discovered the ounce of marijuana.

Ceria had told reporters he would appear in court yesterday dressed as Sandy Claws, wearing his lobster outfit with a Santa Claus beard and white "snowflake" pompoms for Christmas. As a result, he was met by a sizable media presence.

Before the hearing, an uncostumed Ceria spoke candidly about his predicament, sounding like a boxing commentator sizing up an underdog's chances in the ring.

"I don't expect justice to prevail here today," he said.

Ceria said he wanted to wear his costume in the courtroom to protest his alleged mistreatment at the hands of the authorities.

"I wasn't wearing it to get sympathy. I was wearing it to show that I was a lobster when I was arrested, and my costume was taken from me when I was shipped up the river in my underwear."

After his arrest in Provincetown in September, Ceria was taken to the Worcester County Jail, where, he claimed, everything but his red underwear and town crier bell were taken from him.

Ceria had used the bell last summer in Provincetown to attract tourists, many of whom would pose for photos with him costumed as Lobster Man.

"Made me look like a fairy. Made me look like Tinkerbell," he said of the jail experience.

By late yesterday afternoon, Lobster Man/Sandy Claws was back in high spirits, posing for pictures with holiday shoppers in Provincetown and mugging for a camera crew from Fox News in Boston, which had hunted him down.

Ceria didn't accept donations for photos yesterday, "because I'm in love with this town," he said. He vowed to return next summer.

(Published: December 31, 2003)

[Losperman]

Oh... something.

[Losperman]

Ok, enough out of me. I've wasted enough time here. Time to go get some Frostees and Jr bacon cheeseburgers.

See you suckas on the flipside.

[EnvelopeClock]

That would be page 94, and most of the posts on that page are yours.

You mean 4 posts are mine. out of about 15.

[bigbadron]

OH SHIT IT'S GAMEDAY!

[Losperman]

OH SHIT IT'S GAMEDAY!

OH SHIT IT'S GAMEDAY!

[KronosClock]

You mean 4 posts are mine. out of about 15.

Now see, I said most of the posts were yours. You'll recall from math class that the majority is derived from seeing which number is the highest out of all the numbers. Example: I post thrice (that's 3), Losperman posts thrice, and you post 4 times. See, since you posted more than me or Losperman, most of the posts are yours. Now, to go back to page 94, everyone posted 3 times or less. You posted 4 times. Most of the posts belong to you.

[Gore_Clock]

By posting here, the I increase the of length biggest topic.

[Roy]

By posting here, the I increase the of length biggest topic.

Copied

[TruncheonClock]

i r number 2518 YAY

[belcherdude1992]

Aw snap.

that guy looks similar to the one that attacked me in a nightmare i had when i was 3/4 years old, i still remember it 9/10 years later!

[EnvelopeClock]

It would be sooooo funny if someone locked this  _poogle_