DAMN YOU NEW MOON

[SnakeClock]

No.

No.

Nonononononono

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[Odo]

the tingley giney market is a very big market

[FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK]

http://tantusinc.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TD&Product_Code=VAMP

[EtchASketchClock]

http://tantusinc.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TD&Product_Code=VAMP

Toss it in the fridge for that authentic experience!

...The comments are just as hilarious.

[RomanClock]

Forks, Washington

[SnakeClock]

http://tantusinc.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TD&Product_Code=VAMP

And for all you men out there:

http://s2.buzzfeed.com/static/imagebuzz/web02/2009/10/25/14/crazy-vampire-fleshlight-with-fangs-20565-1256496797-13.jpg

[EtchASketchClock]

And for all you men out there:

http://s2.buzzfeed.com/static/imagebuzz/web02/2009/10/25/14/crazy-vampire-fleshlight-with-fangs-20565-1256496797-13.jpg

So why are you looking this stuff up again?

[Silly Putty Clock]

So why are you looking this stuff up again?

Um, SnakeClock.

[Reindeer]

they probably tape it to the cardboard cut outs

[SpongeClock SquarePants]

they probably tape it to the cardboard cut outs

no, to cats.. read the comments!

[Reindeer]

11/20/2009
This dildo is AMAAAZING. I have 7 of them so I have enough to imagine Edward Cullen ramming every orifice in my body with his sparkling peen. I also like to attach them to my grandma while she's sleeping and pretend she's a giant vampire cockmonster. so hot

WHAT THEEE FUUUUCCCKKKKKKKK

EDIT: ok this one is not the most fucked up...all of these people are crazy.

[SnakeClock]

So why are you looking this stuff up again?

You can't look up Twilight for too long before running into something like that.

WHAT THEEE FUUUUCCCKKKKKKKK

EDIT: ok this one is not the most fucked up...all of these people are crazy.

I like to think they're all trolling.

[Silly Putty Clock]

Um, Clock Crew.

_poogle_

[GearBoxClock]

11/21/2009
I'm used to having sex with corpses, but this just makes the experience so much more enjoyable!

11/01/2009
OMG! I attatch mine to a wheel chair and pretend Billy Black is fucking from behind, then I get another one and attatch a moustache to it and pretend it's Charlie Swan..he fucking loves it!

z 10/28/2009
This is highly logical. I ordered four, let's hope they all fit under my snuggie.

Suzie 09/23/2009
Dildo? Holy shit! I thought this was a child's toy! O__o; Well, looks like my nephew is going to get a strange surprise mailed to him for his birthday this week.

[LotusClock]

I don't know what the big fuss is all about. The vampires in Twilight are genuine: they're sanguine vampires, just like our good friend StarmanClock, who is a genuine vampire too. You see? It all comes together now.

[SnakeClock]

I don't know what the big fuss is all about. The vampires in Twilight are genuine: they're sanguine vampires, just like our good friend StarmanClock, who is a genuine vampire too. You see? It all comes together now.

OSHI-

I wonder if Starman has always sparkled, or if he's only just adopted this trait?

[BunnyClock]

Robert Pattinson's head has a pretty weird shape.

[AvocadoClock]

No.

No.

Nonononononono

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

[DWARFINATORclock]

vampire: the masquerade portrays vampires as they should be.

Yes.

[FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK]

Robert Pattinson's head has a pretty weird shape.

Robert Pattinson's head is a foot with a face drawn on it in sharpie marker.