So my dad walked in again...

[I1I1I1I1I1I1I11111I1I1I1IIIIIII1I1I1I1I11I]

Saying that he had something for me because I had been a "good boy". He dropped 2 pennies into my hand and walked away. He came back with a quarter. Then he came back with one more penny, claiming that an even amount of pennies was bad luck. I now have 28 cents ( 4 for each day of the week he said as he danced out of the room).

[Fireman]

don't spend it all at once!

[GearBoxClock]

Obviously he expects you in his bedroom every night this week

[DWARFINATORclock]

Sneak up to him and shoot him in the back of the head with a gun.

[PowerGloveClock]

Sneak up to him and shoot him in the back of the head with a gun.

then steal his wallet and buy drugs

[DWARFINATORclock]

then steal his wallet and buy drugs

Then lock your mother up in the basement and rape her.

[PowerGloveClock]

Then lock your mother up in the basement and rape her.

then in 9 months kill the child, kill her then blow your brains out

[DWARFINATORclock]

then in 9 months kill the child, kill her then blow your brains out

After carefully arranging their intestines to spell "What up bitches" ofcourse.

[AnkhClock]

No guys he's supposed to have sex with his mother first, then kill his dad, then gouge his eyes out. There is an established protocol for incest/patricide.

No no, killing his dad definitely comes first.

[GearBoxClock]

No, he has to kill his grandparents and wear their bones as he slaughters the rest of the family.

[clockradioclock]

This one time, a girl I knew kept saying "the odepus complexion" in a presentation on the Oedipus Complex. Instant classic.

[Clocktopus]

Spend it wisely.

[TheCheshireClock]

No no, killing his dad definitely comes first.

Then how is he supposed to stare, helplessly, in horror as his wife is being violently raped by their son?
 I say you rape her first, then use your bloody dick to skull fuck your dad to death.

[clockradioclock]

This made my balls curl up

Imagine having to sit through 15 minutes of that crap, topped off with some sort of a Jersey Shore accent. Happened like a week ago.

[5 O'Clock Shadow]

Put the 28 cents in a sock and beat him with it. Make sure the sock doesn't have a hole in it though, cause if so that could be a pretty tame beating, it'd really be more like a light dusting; which he might appreciate and pay you further for. If it turns out you can't find any socks without holes in them, perhaps invest this 28 cents in a new one and get him next week.

[DillClock]

keep saving until you have enough to buy a hammer

then go on a hammer killing spree

[DigitalLemonClock]

ask him to teach you his dance

then teach us

[Silly Putty Clock]

ask him to teach you his dance

then teach us

This is the most sensible suggestion in this entire thread.

[AnkhClock]

keep saving until you have enough to buy a hammer

then go on a hammer killing spree

Is your name Maxwell by any chance?

[I1I1I1I1I1I1I11111I1I1I1IIIIIII1I1I1I1I11I]

Is your name Maxwell by any chance?

I dunno, but I got a silver hammer