Monthly Writing 2!

[DiscoBallClock]

Nope guys I didn't forget about this. This one will be identical to 1, but with a different story.



James walked down the street. He had a confident posture, and his step was light and carefree. However, he wasn't smiling. In fact, he wasn't showing any emotion at all. "Man I'm so fucking awesome." he thought, not looking at the people walking around him.

For James, the world was his playground. He was gifted with amazing luck. All the hardships in his life were merely meaningless obstacles which he could easily overcome.

Well, he didn't overcome anything. His luck just saved him from getting in trouble every time.

[Silly Putty Clock]

In fact, his luck was so great that it was the only thing preventing the destruction of Earth. No one at NASA could still keep track of all the massive space rocks that had missed the planet since James was born. Once, the omnipotent being Thrakzar had shown up to devour the Earth, only to trip over the soles of his own incomprehensible feet. Somewhere deep underground in Nevada, Dr. Calamity could be heard cursing the constant malfunctions of his lunar-powered universal death kajigger.

Nobody suspected a thing about James, of course.

[Topcatyo]

James, of course, wasn't born with such immense luck: it was bestowed upon him.  It was given to him by a gypsy that he inadvertently helped out one day.  The gypsy was being harassed by a group of muggers, all of them threatening violence.  Though the threats were empty, the gypsy's fear was very real, and when James walked up and demanded the muggers leave him alone in a booming voice, the gypsy felt as though James were a light in a dark tunnel.  Even as the muggers beat the living hell out of James, the gypsy was very gracious, and when the gypsy plunged a rusty steak knife into the backs of the three distracted muggers, severing their spinal cords and a major artery or two, the gypsy was gracious for this opportunity.  As the muggers lied in the street, one screaming as he bled to death, the gypsy extended a hand to James, just as James had for the gypsy.  When the gypsy helped James up, James felt an amazing power course through him, and James was given his luck.

[PankoClock]

James then picked up his sword, which was autographed by Bruce Lee and chopped off the Gypsy's head. He then got his knife and fork and started eating the deliciously magical remains of the dead Gypsy. He felt the power of the universe running through his veins. At that moment, he knew he was named James.

[Paranoid]

James knew what he must do. He must find the dark lord Cthulu. He began his journey by going to the super market and picking up some cheetos.

[Faygo]

Suddenly, James was attacked by a clown sporting a keg of Faygo. James was in peril and knew this would not go down well. He was forced to drink so much that he almost exploded. His Bruce Lee sword was the only thing that saved him from death. Then he bought the Cheetos.