Cheesy Bacon Chicken!

[peyoteclock]

I don't really know what you'd call this so i'm going to call it.....

Cheesy Bacon Chicken
a peyoteclock pictorial

The ingredients are as follows:

• Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts (as many as you want, I only used one as I was just cooking for myself)
• 1 Onion, Small to large depending on your tastes.
• Bacon, i used probably between 5 and 8 strips
• Cheese, I only had mozarella on hand but i'm thinking provolone would be bomb too.
• 1 Egg
• Coating Mix, preferably something that takes well to frying, I used some Generic italian stuff I had in my pantry

get your ingredients together, you're gonna want a bowl to whip your egg in when the time comes.

Now what you're going to want to do next is grate your cheese and chop your onion, this is the first step as you'll probably have a fair bit of cheese and onion left over for further adventures in cooking and you don't wanna get your gross raw chicken or bacon covered hands all over them.

fun fact: both cheese AND onions are delicious as hell!

I enjoy this part, you're going to need a fairly sharp knife, i recommend against using anything serrated, a nice and sharp butchers knife is what i use and it works wonders. You're gonna want to leave your bacon strips stacked on eacher like they are in the package, and slice through them in sections, leaving you with about 4 "cubes" of bacon, then you're gonna wanna seperate each layer of each cube as best you can and throw it in your frying pan with your onions, feel free to salt and pepper your bacon and onion mix or even spice it with whatever's on hand, i threw a little salt, a little pepper and then a dash of montreal steak spice on mine.

It's gonna look like this once you've got it all in the pan and frying, feel free to add a little butter or oil if that's your thing, you wont really need it though.

While your bacon and onion is frying away you're gonna want take your chicken breast and slice it in two, again I wouldn't recommend anything serrated, I used the same butcher's knife i used to slice my bacon. now the way you're cutting the chicken is essentially through it so you have two thinner chicken breasts essentially. once you have your two slices, pound them a bit with your fist to make them even thinner, this is important.

go ahead and salt, pepper and season your chicken breast on both sides now that you have it sliced in two.

Now feel free to spend the next 20 minutes looking for tooth picks because they are essential to this recipe and you're too big of an idiot to make sure you have them before you went through all this work.

Give up trying to find said tooth picks and go out on a limb and use raw spaghetti instead.

Here's where it gets kinda difficult, crack your egg and whip it up in the bowl, add a layer of cheese to both your chicken breasts then spread your bacon/onion mixture also over your chicken breasts then add the rest of your cheese over top of the bacon and onion. open your italian coating mix. roll your chicken breasts up lengthwise, i don't have any pictures of this im sorry. push the raw spaghetti (or tooth picks if you're not an idiot) through the chicken holding it in its rolled up position, baste your chicken lightly with the egg then roll in the coating  mix and toss in your pan thats full of delicious bacon grease and onion juice. repeat this for your second chicken breast.

Let those bitches fry up, melting the delicious and cheese and letting the yummy bacon and onion flavours permeate throughout, omnommmmm

While your chicken is frying flip through the channels on your tv, futurama is over and you're not a fan of the canadian made shows teletoon airs at this hour of the night, delight in discovering the homie Anthony Bourdain is in Columbia and there's still plenty of episode left!

Feel both good and bad because you love this show but you're a terrible cook and Tony would probably laugh at you then drink all your liquor.



almost done!

Now that your chicken is done frying, attempt to pull out the spaghetti, notice that only the hard ends will pull out the rest has turned to mush inside the the chicken , smile out how lucky that is and put your chicken on a plate, completely ignore anything resembling a side dish or presentation, it's 4:30am and all you wanna do is eat and pass the fuck out.

note the complete lack of presentation and/or accompanying side dish

And now for my favourite step, eat the fuck out of that deliciously chessy, bacony, oniony, italiany chicken, eat it dead, for the love of god you've earned it.

THE END!