Dear Christopher,

You need to get off your ass and do stuff. Do more flash! Practice guitar more! Do stuff! Stop being so damn lazy and ugly and be reasonably productive for once in your sad life, you piece of horse shit!

Love Christopher

Dear Diego

You suck.

Love, Diego.

Jason,

Before you read this letter I want you to play "I Want You" by Bob Dylan to set the mood. Ok you good; continue. I love the way you smell even in the morning. I love the way you smell like spilt absinthe, and cannabis resin. I love washing your mooi skin every morning. I love being you so much that every morning I wake up with an erection! You are the most mooi thing in the whole wide world. You are so hot that no amount of heat could make you sweat. This is why you wear jackets even in 100 degree weather. If I could I would probably go gay for you and just you! You are the most brilliant man I know, and the most brilliant living artist I know! You are my everything, and I just want to say I love you I love you I love you!

Love
Jason

One you never heard of, I...
push it hard to further, the...
grind i feel like murder but
hip hop has saved my life

bye faggot PS:  there should be about a bowl full for wake n bake
 PPS: eat a dick nigga

Dear Mr. I'm Too Good to Call or Write My Fans,

This'll be the last package I ever send your ass, it's been six months and still no word. I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two letters; I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect. So this is like I said I'm sending you. I hope you here it. I'm in the car right now. I'm doing 90 on the freeway. Hey, Slim: I drank a fifth of vodka. Do you dare me to drive? You know that song by Phil Collins, "In the Air Tonight," about that guy who could of saved that other guy from drowning, but di'in't, and Phil saw it all then at his show he found him? That's kinda how this is. You coulda rescued me from drowning. Now, it's too late. I'm on a thousand downers, now I'm drowsy. And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call. I hope you know I ripped all your pictures off the wall! I loved you, Slim, we coulda been together: Think about it. You ruined it now. I hope you can sleep and you dream about it. And, when you dream, I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it. I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't BREATH without me. See, Slim- Shut up, bitch, I'm trying to talk! That's my girlfriend screaming in the trunk but I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up. See, I ain't like you. 'Cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more and then she'll die too. Well, I gotta go. I'm almost at the bridge now. Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?

Sincerely yours,
Mr. I'm Too Good to Call or Write My Fans

Quote from: Slurpee;1375938Dear Mr. I'm Too Good to Call or Write My Fans,

This'll be the last package I ever send your ass, it's been six months and still no word. I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two letters; I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect. So this is like I said I'm sending you. I hope you here it. I'm in the car right now. I'm doing 90 on the freeway. Hey, Slim: I drank a fifth of vodka. Do you dare me to drive? You know that song by Phil Collins, "In the Air Tonight," about that guy who could of saved that other guy from drowning, but di'in't, and Phil saw it all then at his show he found him? That's kinda how this is. You coulda rescued me from drowning. Now, it's too late. I'm on a thousand downers, now I'm drowsy. And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call. I hope you know I ripped all your pictures off the wall! I loved you, Slim, we coulda been together: Think about it. You ruined it now. I hope you can sleep and you dream about it. And, when you dream, I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it. I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't BREATH without me. See, Slim- Shut up, bitch, I'm trying to talk! That's my girlfriend screaming in the trunk but I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up. See, I ain't like you. 'Cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more and then she'll die too. Well, I gotta go. I'm almost at the bridge now. Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?

Sincerely yours,
Mr. I'm Too Good to Call or Write My Fans

A masterpiece.

onion, i hope you know whose lyrics those are.

Quote from: BrainChild;1375943onion, i hope you know whose lyrics those are.

I'm actually not OnionClock, but I'm honoured to be mistaken for him. And no, I don't know.

Michael,
You suck so much, bitch.
Stop trying.

Love,
Marlin Clock

So far Slurpee and Absinthe are the two letters in this thread that I didn't see coming word-for-word a hundred miles away.

Dear Dylan,

Stop being so fucking lazy and get off your arse and get a bloody job for once in your life, twenty years and you still haven't been employed one in your pathetic little life.
Still leaching off the govenment for this long sure looks good for any resumes that you're going to make, that is, if you can come back to reality for five seconds and write one.

From Dylan.

PS, you are a fag.

Dear Michael,

Stop going to cc.cc. You don't even like that place anymore, all you do is be bitchy in the video game forum and get picked on by the cool kids.

Also, clean your room.

Love, Michael.

i'm sorry slurpee won the whole thread

Dear Johnathan,

Maybe if you actually finished something you wouldn't always be walking around at night thinking of things you'll never do!

Quote from: BrainChild;1375928PPS: eat a dick nigga

I remember this.

dear steve,

youd better unfuck yourself private or i will unscrew your head AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK.

from steve

Dear Alex,

Your still a clockfan!! LOL!!
Carry on sucking.

Love Alex.

Dear Rob,
Nobody Likes you. kill yourself.

~Rob

Dear Archon

You must construct additional pylons.

Love, Archon.

Quote from: ONIONATOR;1375944I'm actually not OnionClock, but I'm honoured to be mistaken for him.

You shouldn't be, brainchild doesn't know shit about onion

QuoteAnd no, I don't know.