One night something really grimey happened at the library. The characters in the stories started fapping from their books!           
                       Thomas the Tank Engine climbed into Charlotte's Web and started ducking with Wilbur the Pig! Donald Trump wandered into an encyclopedia and ended up lost in Papakura!           
                       The craziest part was when Peekay wandered into The Power of One and said, “motherfuckin' snake, I don't think we're in Auckland any more.”          
                       Then  mum walked in and said, “OH SHIT! Everybody back in place!”           
                       The characters squirmed around the room. Just in time! The students in grade 10 came in to get books for their reports,  but it was safe. All the characters were back in the books where they belonged.



http://www.eduplace.com/tales/

QuoteSuddenly, Morgan Freeman happened to ride by on a whale and offered to turn the apples into a delicious pie, right there in the orchard.

An American Hero

You see the problem here is that madlibs aren't actually funny

I fully expect a mad lib made with nothing but dirty words by the next time I check this thread.

Quote from: Thor;1669411I fully expect a mad lib made with nothing but dirty words by the next time I check this thread.

Your wish is my command (sort of).

Every summer, people head to Lake Losperman near Penisville. There are so many things to do at the lake. Lots of people snorkel, hoping to catch a glimpse of the licking wild donkeys that live in the lake.

On Saturdays, people have swimming relay races. Each team has 69 members. Swimmers carry dildos that are passed from one team member to the next. The winning team is awarded nipple clamps and anal beads. Lots of people come to watch the races. They cheer on teams by shouting, “holy fuck!”

After the races, people paddle their sluts around the lake. Then everyone comes back to shore for a picnic of titty cream sandwiches and chode crust sundaes. Someone usually plays the Clock Crew while people eat.

People are sad when the summer ends. But everyone looks forward to the next summer at Lake Losperman when they can snorkel above the licking wild donkeys, swim for prizes of nipple clamps and anal beads, and paddle their sluts.

Quote from: Thor;1669411I fully expect a mad lib made with nothing but dirty words by the next time I check this thread.

hurr hurr hurr:

How to Make a Snow Man

Ingredients

420 tablespoons creamy penis
69 teaspoons asshole
23 cups raunchy pussy
5 tablespoons dildo

Combine all ingredients in a bowl. Mix intensely with a spoon until wet. Place on front lawn or other cold location. Bake at -infinity degrees for 0 minutes until snow is throbbing and hard. Test with stick or carrot to make sure it is ready.

When done, decorate with a(n) condom and a(n) blindfold. Use a(n) tongue for a mouth and balls for eyes.

Serves everyone!

Here's another one:

Letter from Ima Wolf

Dear Kids,

I just want to set the record straight for you. Wolves are great animals, and for reasons you may not be aware of, we wolves get a bad rap. Every time someone gets eaten or something is stolen, who gets blamed? Wolves, that's who. Wolves aren't round. In fact, we're quite luscious.

I'm a wolf, and I don't steal! I give things away. Every year, I donate tits to the cockmunch Retirement Home. And I've never stroked anyone in my life. All I do is lick merrily through the forest. Of course, once in a while, I like to fuck a dildo. You can't blame me for wanting to have some fun! And, as for eating anyone, that's a fairy tale. All I ever eat are big cocks.

I know how the rumors got started. This kid, I think her name is Little black poundinghood, started saying terrible things about me. Fuck yes! She even accused me of thrusting her grandmother. That's a lie! Her grandmother is too drippy for me. And as I said, I don't eat people!

If you ever hear Little black poundinghood, or anyone else for that matter, saying something throbbing about wolves, please defend me. I need all the help I can get.

Your friend,
Ima Wolf

How to Build a Chore-Doer

Step 1: Go to your local Office Max and buy 150 pieces of wood. Pieces should be at least 22 inches wide by 11 inches long.
Step 2: Buy 45 squids in size Large.
Step 3: Buy a roll of metal cord.
Step 4: At the hardware store, buy a large container of 54 dicks.
Step 5: Look in your kitchen cabinets for a bottle of blood.
Step 6: Take wood pieces and jizz them together with a hammer. Be sure to wear safety stockings.
Step 7: Connect one end of the cord to the wood. Connect the other end of the cord to the dicks. Pour the blood over the whole thing.
Step 8: Stand back.
Step 9: Plug it in and watch it go.

Be sure to stand far away and to put the cat or dog someplace safe. You won't have to worry about your chores anymore, because you now have a whole new mess to worry about!

Quote from: salmonberryclock;1669640How to Build a Chore-Doer

Step 1: Go to your local Office Max and buy 150 pieces of wood. Pieces should be at least 22 inches wide by 11 inches long.
Step 2: Buy 45 squids in size Large.
Step 3: Buy a roll of metal cord.
Step 4: At the hardware store, buy a large container of 54 dicks.
Step 5: Look in your kitchen cabinets for a bottle of blood.
Step 6: Take wood pieces and jizz them together with a hammer. Be sure to wear safety stockings.
Step 7: Connect one end of the cord to the wood. Connect the other end of the cord to the dicks. Pour the blood over the whole thing.
Step 8: Stand back.
Step 9: Plug it in and watch it go.

Be sure to stand far away and to put the cat or dog someplace safe. You won't have to worry about your chores anymore, because you now have a whole new mess to worry about!

Your new sig is good, too.

Quote from: Thor;1669411I fully expect a mad lib made with nothing but dirty words by the next time I check this thread.

It was a cold, Gay night. Shawn and Sam fucked around the campfire, Butt Fucking songs and eating Cocks.
Soon they got tired, climbed into their Cocks, and eventually fell asleep. Suddenly, they were both wide awake. There was a loud Sucking sound outside the tent. Sam grabbed Shawn's Penis and held on for dear life. Shawn started chanting, “Lions and Cocks and Cocks, oh my!” over and over again.
Then into their tent fell their friend Marty. Marty had been thirsty and had gone into the house for some Girly Wine. Now the Girly Wine was on the floor of their tent. But they all had a good laugh and went back to sleep.
It turned out to be a very Gay camping trip. And maybe next time they'll even leave Sam's backyard.

Jake and I decided to try out the newest sport at Suncoast Elementary. It's called Gay Dick. The object of the game is to kick a(n) Gay Dick all the way to the end of the field. Every time you do, the fans yell “Gay!” and you get 69 points. The person with the most points wins.
Jake started and kicked the Dick halfway down the field. What a shot! Then it was my turn. I picked up the Dick, took aim, and missed completely. I felt so Flamboyant! I tried again, and this time I kicked the Dick all the way to the end of the field. The fans in the stands hollered “Gay!” I won the game!
Now I am the champion of Suncoast Elementary! I didn't want Jake to feel badly, so I treated Jake to a trip to BJ's for a(n) Penis sundae with Cum on top!

Quote from: Thor;1669411I fully expect a mad lib made with nothing but dirty words by the next time I check this thread.

Are you bothered by Ugly Pesidents? Do you feel Fat every day? Does your Penis hurt? Then Anal sex is for you! This Painful, Homosexual treat is chock-full of PAIN!

Here is what Seymore Buts of Wank, Germany had to say about Anal sex. “I start every day with Anal sex. It's simply Gay! Even my Butt loves it.”

Don't delay! Buy Anal sex today!

The S.S Pink Fire Lucky Lulu was sinking quickly. “Abandon ship! Everyone into the Faggots!” hollered Captain Moriorty. But the crew and passengers knew there were not enough Faggots, so they threw Queers, Flamers, and even one Gay Dick Sucker overboard. Then everyone Butt Fucked into the Flamboyant water and grabbed onto whatever they could.
Captain Moriorty ordered everyone to form a line, tie their crafts together, and sing “'YMCA'.” First in line were Marty and Stephanie, bobbing in their Gay Lesbo. Next, came Alex Shelley hanging on for dear life to a slimy Ass Raider. They were followed by Sixty-Nine others.
After Two days, they were rescued by a strange Sheep. Not one passenger from the Lucky Lulu has taken a boat ride again.

Gay: Welcome! This is “The Perfect Day Show”! On this show, contestants describe how they would spend their perfect day. Then the audience votes on whose perfect day sounds like the most fun. The contestant with the most votes will win a free trip to Gay, along with Gay Gay. Okay, let's get started. Contestant Number One, what is your perfect day?

Contestant Number One: Well, Gay, first I would watch Gay Gay times. Then I would make Gay soup for lunch. In the afternoon, my friends and I would go Gay.

Gay: Wow! Contestant Number One, that does sound like fun. Okay, Contestant Number Two?

Contestant Number Two: First I would put on my Gay Gay. Then I would gather all my favorite Gay. Together, we would take a trip to the Gay Adventure Park, where we would go Gay.

Gay: And there you have it, TV audience. Let's count the votes. It looks like Contestant Number Two is our winner. Congratulations! Is there anything you would like to say, Contestant Number Two?

Contestant Number Two: My Gay is spinning! I've dreamed of going to Gay!



OR HOR HOR I AM SO CLEVER

What if you lived on the International Space Station? Imagine your normal day as it is now, but in space!
In the morning, you get up at 3:30 and get dressed in your space Tights and space FishNet Shirt. There is no gravity in space, so you float into the kitchen to eat your breakfast of dried Dicks, Black Cock in a tube, and smashed up Penis in a plastic space container. Then, instead of taking the bus to school, you hop into a(n) S.S Pink Fire and orbit Earth Sixty-Nine times.
In the S.S Pink Fire,you do Gay science experiments such as determining how good a(n) Sheep is at Butt Fucking in space. When the experiments are done, you go outside the S.S Pink Fire for some exercise in space. You Sucking Dick outside the S.S Pink Fire for an hour or more. When you are done exercising, you go back to the International Space Station for other activities such as Ass Raiding, Milking, and Rim Jobbing.
You end the day by sending a(n) Queer to your parents via the space computer, and they tell you goodnight from Earth, down below.

Quote from: SheepClock;1669685What if you lived on the International Space Station? Imagine your normal day as it is now, but in space!
In the morning, you get up at 3:30 and get dressed in your space Tights and space FishNet Shirt. There is no gravity in space, so you float into the kitchen to eat your breakfast of dried Dicks, Black Cock in a tube, and smashed up Penis in a plastic space container. Then, instead of taking the bus to school, you hop into a(n) S.S Pink Fire and orbit Earth Sixty-Nine times.
In the S.S Pink Fire,you do Gay science experiments such as determining how good a(n) Sheep is at Butt Fucking in space. When the experiments are done, you go outside the S.S Pink Fire for some exercise in space. You Sucking Dick outside the S.S Pink Fire for an hour or more. When you are done exercising, you go back to the International Space Station for other activities such as Ass Raiding, Milking, and Rim Jobbing.
You end the day by sending a(n) Queer to your parents via the space computer, and they tell you goodnight from Earth, down below.

What's funny about this is that I could see it actually being a blurb on a porn site. gayspacebuttsex.com or some shit.

An Odd Animal

The BJ is an animal that has black fur with pink spots on its throbbing cocks and butts. Its tail is shaped like a(n) pussy which it uses to grind blow-up dolls. An adult BJ may weigh more than 69 pounds and stand over 420 feet high.

The BJ can be found only in gay bars and strip joints. Although its favorite food is handjobs, it also likes to eat dildos. If you ever see a(n) BJ, be sure not to ever sing “What What Up the Butt.” That song makes it gay. Instead, give it a few handjobs and be on your way.

I am not disapointed.

DICKSDALE had everything a(n) TENTACLE RAPE MONSTER could ask for. He had PHALLIC food, a big, OILY bed, and the WIENERSURGE family to look after him.

One morning DICKSDALE woke up. “I'm hungry!” he said. He went down to the FUCK TOWER but everyone in the WIENERSURGE family was still asleep. “I guess I'll have to find my own breakfast,” he said.

DICKSDALE went outside and SODOMIZED down the street. On the sidewalk, he saw a(n) GREASY DONG. “Gulp!” Down went the DONG. “Not bad!” said DICKSDALE.

Next, DICKSDALE headed for the park. There he found a pair of BABIES just sitting on a bench. “Gulp! Gulp.” Down went the BABIES. “Mmmm, STINKY!” said DICKSDALE.

DICKSDALE was feeling very HOMOSEXUAL as he skipped over to a video store. There he saw some tasty video games. “Gulp! Gulp! Gulp!” DICKSDALE swallowed FAGGOT FANTASY VII and DICKS DICKS REVOLUTION whole.

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT NO FUCKING WAY! It must be time to go home,” said DICKSDALE. He JIZZED back home and up the stairs to his OILY bed.

“Breakfast! Time for breakfast, DICKSDALE!” called Mrs. WIENERSURGE.

“I don't feel very well,” groaned DICKSDALE. “It must have been those NIPPLES I ate for supper last night.” Burp!

Fuck the fuck and then the fuck fuck fuck did a fuck fuck fuck but when the fuck did fuck the fuck fuck a fuck but the fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck